Adoption Story on Today Show

[Ceila]

He had 9 months!

Chance he took when he got a woman pregnant that he couldn't trust.

The innocent child should not have to pay for their biological parents irresponsibility.

I'm not sure I understand what you think he should have done. Do we know that she told him before the birth that she planned to give the child up for adoption? Was he supposed to follow her around every day in case she went into labor?

 

[robinb]

Exactly! The thought of changing custody of a 3 year old child is horrifying but he filed for custody 5 days after she was born! This matter should have been resolved years ago.

I agree that it should have been fixed years ago, but I do not think that the child should be removed from the only family she knows. I feel sorry for everyone EXCEPT the mom who sneaked the baby out of state.

 

[robinb]

I'm not sure I understand what you think he should have done. Do we know that she told him before the birth that she planned to give the child up for adoption? Was he supposed to follow her around every day in case she went into labor?

The linked article says that she told him that she was thinking about adopting to someone in Utah shortly before giving birth.

 

[Allison]

He had 9 months!

Chance he took when he got a woman pregnant that he couldn't trust.

The innocent child should not have to pay for their biological parents irresponsibility.

Irresponsibility? He wanted the child from the beginning. Sorry, but he shouldn't have to pay the price for what she did.

 

[jrmasm]

I agree that it should have been fixed years ago, but I do not think that the child should be removed from the only family she knows. I feel sorry for everyone EXCEPT the mom who sneaked the baby out of state.

Generally I side with the adoptive families but in this case it would seem that the biological parents probably knew very early on that there was a problem with the adoption.

Unfortunately, there is no good outcome at this point.

 

[Hannathy]

I'm not sure I understand what you think he should have done. Do we know that she told him before the birth that she planned to give the child up for adoption? Was he supposed to follow her around every day in case she went into labor?

Marry her ? or how about not having got her pregnant in the first place. Or go to a lawyer before the birth and get something in writing that he was going to adopt the baby or take custody however it has to be done in Virginia if he can't be on the birth certificate.

 

[kellyg403]

Where does it say he signed anything? Where does it say he changed his mind? What the article says is that the biological mother hid the birth from him.

Exactly, I got the impression that he signed nothing because he didn't know she was even born yet. Also, I thought the article said that bio mom has since changed her mind about the adoption but the dad was always on board with raising the baby, even if it was by himself.

What is the length of time you can change your mind for adoption in VA? I know here in NC it is 7 days before they actually put the child in line for adoption. In the meantime, the child stays in almost a 'halfway' type house waiting for the time to expire and all signatures become a legal fact.

I guess I am wondering why the adoptive parents, who knew within the first year it was being contested, the VA court had already ruled he was within his rights, why they did not try to at least work out something until it was confirmed that they would be keeping the child.

Kelly

 

[Ceila]

I agree that it should have been fixed years ago, but I do not think that the child should be removed from the only family she knows. I feel sorry for everyone EXCEPT the mom who sneaked the baby out of state.

My issue with this is that it allows people who did something wrong to get away with it. So, if this child is left in the home of the adoptive parents (against her biological father's wishes), then that sets a precedent that I don't think we, as a society, want to have set.

 

[believe]

I know one father who starting fighting for rights to see his child before birth and he just now got to see her, she is 3.

My brother fault 3 years to see his daughter, he then had to pay all back child support even though those years was taken from him.

This is even with adoption not in the picture and the fathers just want some rights, not full custody. Neither women put the guys on the birth certificate.

While I agree that a marriage license in hand would make this less complicated, we all know that just isn't going to always happen. The guy can't force the woman to marry him. We also know there are cases where the females set the guys up, won't go into details but that is what happened to my friend.

It isn't all black and white, but I do believe father's need to be given rights. As soon as the courts determined he truly was the father the adoption should have been reversed. That child is one day going to ask about her parents. If this is in the news it isn't like she won't know she is adopted.

 

[Ceila]

The linked article says that she told him that she was thinking about adopting to someone in Utah shortly before giving birth.

Thanks, I missed that part. That does change my opinion slightly.

 

[kellyg403]

Thanks, I missed that part. That does change my opinion slightly.

But the article did say it was a text, he called her right away and supposedly she agreed not to do it.

There is a lot of he said/she said in this whole thing.

 

[Ceila]

Marry her ? or how about not having got her pregnant in the first place.

How do we know he didn't want to get married? And the ship has already sailed on that last part!

Or go to a lawyer before the birth and get something in writing that he was going to adopt the baby or take custody however it has to be done in Virginia if he can't be on the birth certificate.

Now that I know that he was aware that the bio mom told him that she was considering putting the child up for adoption, I agree with this last part. I still don't think it makes it right for him to not have been given custody, given that he indicated his wishes to raise the child so quickly after her birth.

 

[RachaelA]

Marry her ? or how about not having got her pregnant in the first place. Or go to a lawyer before the birth and get something in writing that he was going to adopt the baby or take custody however it has to be done in Virginia if he can't be on the birth certificate.

You can't get anything in writing until the child is proven to be biologically his which normally isn't done until after the child is born (too much risk before that). He filed for custody well within the legal guidelines of the state of Virgina (the state the child was born in). Just because the adoption agency was shady and took the child out of state before that doesn't make it okay.

 

[jrmasm]

Thanks, I missed that part. That does change my opinion slightly.

From the article:

On Feb. 5, 2009, Fahland sent Wyatt a text message that has become central in the dispute. Wyatt recalls that Fahland texted him that she was "receiving information" from a Utah adoption agency. He immediately called her, and says she assured him that they would make a decision jointly -- and that she'd alert him the minute she went into labor.

The baby was born Feb 10. And her birth was kept secret from him. If what he says is is true and he filed for custody 5 days after she was born, in my opinion he did not wrong.

 

[MickeySP]

First let me say I am an adopted(legally) child. I was placed at 3 mos old.

Was he on the birth certificate? Was he legally responsible for the child?

I haven't read it all but if he was on the birth certificate I think he would have had to sign. If he wasn't then his problem is with his girl friend and himself for not having legal rights to the child before it was born.

Actions have consequence in the real world.

He wasn't because the GF (who holds all the acrds) had the baby picked up before he arrived less than 24 hrs after the birth. She turned off he cell and hid her labor - the act of a guilty mind. I read this as vindictive.

He had 9 months!

Chance he took when he got a woman pregnant that he couldn't trust.

The innocent child should not have to pay for their biological parents irresponsibility.

How do you know when they were together he couldn't trust her? Seems he thought he could - so since she hid her character so well he gets penalized.

Marry her ? or how about not having got her pregnant in the first place. Or go to a lawyer before the birth and get something in writing that he was going to adopt the baby or take custody however it has to be done in Virginia if he can't be on the birth certificate.

So he should force her into marriage - what states allows that - tell me?

He did file for custody while the baby was being held for 2 weeks - 2 weeks - in care before transfer to Utah. So the agency, the girl & adoptive parents knew the father wanted his child, to me that is kidnapping.

Now as an adoptive child if I knew my "parents" hid me from my father who wanted me all along - that would be it. I would so be in contact with him and not them. It just shows their true character.

I would also own that agency - if ever litigation was called for this is it.

At what point does hiding a child constitute adoption?

 

[It'sWDW4me]

Seriously, the baby is 3, not 6.

The ex and I divorced when DS was 3. Within a few years, DS had absolutely no memory of ex ever having lived in our home.

This young father was wronged. By the GF, by the adoption agency, by the adoptive parents (provided they knew that he was trying to get his baby back), by the crappy state laws in both VA & UT.

The baby needs to be given to her father. Yes, she will be disoriented and confused for a while but she'll be fine. She'll be loved by her flesh and blood family.

What confuses me are the people who say "leave her where she is since she's been there for 3 years now". Should Jaycee Duggard never have been taken away from her kidnappers? After all, she had been with them for 18 years.

 

[Ceila]

From the article:

On Feb. 5, 2009, Fahland sent Wyatt a text message that has become central in the dispute. Wyatt recalls that Fahland texted him that she was "receiving information" from a Utah adoption agency. He immediately called her, and says she assured him that they would make a decision jointly -- and that she'd alert him the minute she went into labor.

The baby was born Feb 10. And her birth was kept secret from him. If what he says is is true and he filed for custody 5 days after she was born, in my opinion he did not wrong.

Like I said, my opinion only changed slightly. I still think he should be granted custody.

 

[Hannathy]

And the ship has already sailed on that last part!

Exactly stories like this should be required reading to all young people. Unfortunately as a a guy you have much less choice in what happens to your child unless you are married so think carefully who you pick to "sleep" with.

 

[Ceila]

Exactly stories like this should be required reading to all young people. Unfortunately as a a guy you have much less choice in what happens to your child unless you are married so think carefully who you pick to "sleep" with.

I totally agree with you about educating our kids about things like this. I do hope, though, that you're using "you" in your second sentence in the generic way, since I'm definitely not a guy!

 

[PlutoPony]

On the Today show this morning, the father said that the adoptive parents signed at risk adoption paperwork, which means that one or both of the parents aren't on board with giving up the child. So the adoptive parents knew from the get go that at least one biological parent had not given up the child and potentially wanted to raise her.

Slimy slimy adoption agency imo