I'm going to put this as plainly as I can. There is essentially zero chance of you adopting a German child. Germany is a pretty well-to-do country and couples there face the same infertility issues and adoption problems as we do in the US. In other words, any German babies that are available for adoption will be snatched up by German families. Simple as that. Supply and demand. In 2004, German Chancellor Schroeder and his wife adopted a 3 y.o. girl from Russia. Not from Germany......from Russia.
We adopted from Russia in 2000. The process is somewhat longer and more difficult that it was then. We adopted during a strange period (called a "slowdown") when Russia's adoption laws and procedures were changing and therefore, most adoptions were actually put on hold until things straightened out. We managed to find our own Russian contact and adopt without using an agency, and adopted during that period when few adoptions were being processed. Sadly, independent adoptions like ours are virtually impossible to accomplish in Russia now. I wish that was not the case because I loved the lack of a middleman.....We just handled everything directly and it saved us time, heartache and thousands of dollars. Plus, we adopted the world's healthiest, happiest baby.
My advice is to not be set on one country, but rather to get brochures from many agencies about various programs in different countries. Read them and understand what is available. As I have told people many times, my "pro" may be your "con." Make a pro and con list and don't worry about how it sounds or whether it's politically correct. You must be honest with yourselves.
Must you have an infant? Then don't go with a country that only places children 18 months and older.
Do you want to be able to select the gender? Some countries/agencies do not allow that.
Does one agency say you are old enough to adopt from Country A, but another agency says you do not qualify due to your age? Then cross off the one that will not accept you.
Is it important for the child to "look like you"? If so, obviously, some countries are off the table.
Can you stand a wait of 18 months to 3 years....or more? Or do you feel you must have 18 months or less? That will eliminate a lot of countries/agencies.
Are you willing to travel? A relative of mine would not, so Korea was their choice as that country will allow the baby to be escorted to the US.
Must the child be identified and "okayed" by you, or will you accept whatever baby is assigned?
As you read over the packets, you will begin to make notes.....Things like....Must be over 30 to adopt from here. Cost is $30,000. Cannot choose gender. Travel required. Average wait is 18 months to 2 years and age of child averages no younger than 12 months, usually older.
Another packet from a different country (or even a different agency) might get these notes: Can be any age over 25, must be married at least 2 years with each parent having no more than one divorce each. Cost is $35,000. Can choose gender. Can either travel or baby can be escorted home. Average wait is less than 12 months. Average age is 12 months, but it is common to get a baby 6-12 months.
Long story short, some countries will weed YOU out. You will decide others are not a good fit for you. Once you find a country or two that you lean toward, then you must select an agency. That will take a lot of research and is very important. I'll be frank. Not all are created equal. Most say they are in it "for the kids," and many are. But I am sorry to say some are in it for the cash. Do not rely on them to tell you the whole truth. Research the law in whatever country you choose to adopt from. We were using an agency at first, but after catching them in one too many lies, we parted ways. The good news is, we met our DD less than a month later. Had I not been familiar with Russian adoption law, I would have had no idea they were BSing me. Others trusted them blindly.....Some with unhappy endings.
I am a huge fan of international adoption, but too many people go into it with an open checkbook and a trusting heart, when what they also needed was to keep in mind that IT IS A BUSINESS. And one that makes a fortune, at that. Read, learn, educate yourself. Just because an agency says the law is XYZ does not mean it is so. For example, a friend of mine was told that she was too old to adopt an infant from Russia. In reality, that one agency didn't like people her age adopting infants from Russia, but many other agencies were fine with it. It was not the Russian law (as they said) but their preference. She then decided to use a different agency.
The US State Dept. website gives summaries of the different adoption laws for various countries. It was invaluable to me. Find a good message board to keep abreast of current events. You don't want to sign up for a country, only to find out that it's due for a shutdown in a month. When we adopted under the new rules, I was able to come home and update my message board (thousands of members) about the new procedures. Some decided they were not willing to do what the new rules required while others thought it was just fine. But they needed to hear from someone who had actually BEEN THROUGH IT. The second I returned from my first trip, I posted an account. We were (no joke) one of the first 1-5 couples to visit Russia and adopt under the "no advance referral" system.....Or as I called, adopting blind. Before that, you got a video(s) and a medical report, plus other info. We went over with nothing. Walked in with our paperwork, got a referral and went to meet her. No medical report to run by a doctor while we were still in the US and still had time to decline the referral. No photo or name, even.
That scared the crap out of people. I was able to say, "Here is exactly what happened." A chatroom/message board can be invaluable. Also, they can alert you as to the less honest agencies. But don't post, "Is Agency ABC honest or not? Please share!" Because no one will tell their negative story, lest the agency mess up their adoption. No, allow people to answer you PRIVATELY and you'll get more honest answers. My opinion is, the true test of an agency is how they handle the adoptions that have snags. Anyone can handle an adoption that goes smoothly. But if there are trouble spots......and it happens......are they there to go to bat for you and make sure you get a baby? Or do they shrug and say, "Sorry, we tried," while they happily sit on your money?
Russia was a natural for us. I'd been fascinated by the country for decades and the chance to visit there was too good to be true. At the time, I knew we could get a baby less than a year old in 6-9 months. And we got one in 8 months, from start to finish. (That includes leaving the agency and finding my own miracle Russian contact.) We could afford the cost. We had a preference for a baby that would physically blend with our family. My relative adopted a baby from Korea (whom we adore) but over the years, the mom had to put up with her fair share of ignorant comments and rude remarks. I don't have the temperment for that and knew I could not stay calm as she had. No, I'd have gone off on people. In fact, over the years, I'd gotten more irate over some of the stuff than she had. We figured a child who was not obviously adopted would garner less of those comments, and thus have less of an in-your-face mommy.
These were all factors in our decision. Your "list" of what is important, not important, a deal-breaker, etc. won't be the same as mine. And that is okay. Luckily, there are many countries and programs to choose from and something out there for everyone. Good luck.
and 
Gee, a little late, I'd say. They had pics of the boys from the time they'd entered foster care a a baby/toddler duo. All I could think was, "Someone would have happily adopted those two little boys back when they were 1-2 or 2-3 or even 3-4. Why didn't the state get off its rear and terminate the parental rights back then, when it could have done those kids some good?" But that's how things usually roll in Texas, sorry to say. 
)
I cannot imagine the hurt they're feeling at this time. As I said, this is their fourth failed attempt through an agency.
