Addressing Envelopes; What do you think this means?

[DawnCt1]

A couple of thoughts.

I would be thankful to be related to a doctor if my sibling wanted me to address them as Doctor. The reason I would be thankful is because I would surely need a medic to help me repair what I busted from laughing so hard at the request.
As for the Caddy comment, maybe since you are very concerned that they address your DH as Doctor you possibly come off as not so nice so that is why they made the comment and rolled their eyes? I don't know and I don't know you so I am not saying whether you are nice or not but from this question I wonder if you might come off as a bit high brow if you will.

Oh- and I don't make an appointment with my sibling to visit nor do I come bearing gifts everytime I see them. Of course I talk to my sibling every day.

Obviously you have a pre-existing bias here, because at no time did I ever make a request and I made it clear in the OP that I would never mention it.
It could also be a "generational thing". I address anyone older than me by Mr. or Mrs. unless I am asked specifically to use their first names. I addressed my aunts and uncles by the title, "Auntie and Uncle", and I expect the same in return. If my friends and neighbors heard the term "high brow" in relation to me, they would laugh. My favorite shoes are flip flops and that is what I wear when I am not mowing the lawn. Unlike my SIL, I do not have a Coach bag, not that there is anything wrong with that, but tend to stick to my LL Bean canvas"healthy bag" unless I get really dressed up.

 

[DawnCt1]

I didn't really get the impression that she was either "very concerned" or even a little concerned about it, just a wondering kind of question. And as far as the car comment, I think it does sound like he's kind of snide so I'm betting they leave the title off deliberately hoping to annoy you. Like they think you are on a high horse and they intend to knock you down a peg.

My DH's brother has a doctorate. Just for fun I just emailed my SIL asking if we had ever inadvertently offended them by not addressing Christmas cards as "Dr. and Mrs.".....I've often wondered if I should since he's certainly earned the title! But I've always erred on the side of informality since they are family and we are close. She just laughed at me and said it has never even been noticed (pretty much what I figured). She said no one uses his title except for occasionally her when she is making fun of him for having an advanced degree and can't find his keys, passport, etc.

Which is exactly what I would say if my SIL ever asked!

 

[Angelhalo]

Obviously you have a pre-existing bias here, because at no time did I ever make a request and I made it clear in the OP that I would never mention it.
It could also be a "generational thing". I address anyone older than me by Mr. or Mrs. unless I am asked specifically to use their first names. I addressed my aunts and uncles by the title, "Auntie and Uncle", and I expect the same in return. If my friends and neighbors heard the term "high brow" in relation to me, they would laugh. My favorite shoes are flip flops and that is what I wear when I am not mowing the lawn. Unlike my SIL, I do not have a Coach bag, not that there is anything wrong with that, but tend to stick to my LL Bean canvas"healthy bag" unless I get really dressed up.

I address my aunts and unlce as Aunt so and so and Uncle such and such. I wear flip flops every chance I get....don't a lot of people? Thats what I mow the lawn in too....even though I consider LL Bean to be a high brow retailer.....but I never refer on paper or in person to my FIL as Dr. "John" He's just "John" or Dad.

Clearly its just different strokes for different folks.

 

[Philagoofy]

I wear flip-flops at home all the time, well almost. I would never mow the lawn in them. I'd be afraid I'd accidently run over them & cut them off. Yea, I know, like that couldn't happen with shoes. And why would I be running over my feet. But I've heard of a few accidents with lawn mowers & that was enough for me. One happened shortly after my grandmother died, my grandfather was cutting the grass & apparently something happened to the mower. He tried to fix it but was not paying enough attention, still in grief, and cut off a couple of fingers.

Well, back to the envelopes.

 

[disykat]

However, the OP was talking about Christmas cards too. Since when did Christmas cards become a formal affair? It sounded to me that it bothered the OP that the title wasn't on every single thing they got mailed from her SIL.

I've never mailed Christmas cards with a formal address to my siblings, but the OP's sibling did - she just didn't use the correct address. To me addressing my sibling as Mr. would be weird. However, addressing him as Mr. when you know darn well his formal address is Dr. is even weirder.

 

[momrek06]

Maybe because you are family? My son is a doctor and I never thought to put that on the envelope when I mail him stuff. Hmmm, hope he doesn't think it means anything.

Same here.....my brother is a COLONEL in the USARMY....he is Rich to me!!! We address all their envelopes with Rich & Val!!!!!!!!! I would never think to address it Col and Mrs..........!

 

[disykat]

ARGH - people just don't get it! It's not about not using a title. It's about insisting on using a title, but using a wrong one.

I've never thought as my Dad as a Dr. I usually introduce him by name and people won't don't know he's a Dr., so they call him Mr. if they respond formally. (Like,"nice to meet you, Mr ...) No big deal. However, if I introduce him as Dr. and then they pointedly call him Mr. it becomes weird.

 

[dec5girl]

Dawn, honey, I'm with you.

It should be listed as Dr. and Mrs.

Those are the rules.

Me too. My dad is a dentist and it sounds wrong to me when people call him Mr. X. If I should happen to mail something to my parents, which is rare, I usually use first names. But if I wanted to send them something formal I would never call my dad Mr. X. It doesn't even sound like his name to me. His name is Dr. X. I have a couple of high school friends who are doctors also and same goes for them.

 

[RN4Babies]

I emailed my sister (an OB/GYN) and my brother in law (a dentist), apologizing profusely for not addressing my son's graduation announcements to Mr. and Dr. So and So or Dr. and Mrs. So and So (I think I addressed them to Mr. and Mrs. and Family in both circumstances).

They both emailed me back, apologizing for not addressing envelopes they mail to me as Ms. Anne So and So, R.N.

Seriously, if that's what you're spending any time wondering and thinking about, you have NO worries!!

 

[DawnCt1]

Same here.....my brother is a COLONEL in the USARMY....he is Rich to me!!! We address all their envelopes with Rich & Val!!!!!!!!! I would never think to address it Col and Mrs..........!

"Rich and Val" would have made a lot more sense (if that were our names) and been more appropriate, but Mr. and Mrs? Although DH could go by Col. too. Maybe Dr. Col.

 

[DawnCt1]

ARGH - people just don't get it! It's not about not using a title. It's about insisting on using a title, but using a wrong one.

I've never thought as my Dad as a Dr. I usually introduce him by name and people won't don't know he's a Dr., so they call him Mr. if they respond formally. (Like,"nice to meet you, Mr ...) No big deal. However, if I introduce him as Dr. and then they pointedly call him Mr. it becomes weird.

Exactly. Its not an occasion that call for a "correction" but it does seem weird.

 

[ginna74]

How is it ever wrong to use Mr. and Mrs. on an envelope??? I don't get it?? It doesn't matter what one does for a living it still is never wrong or innapropriate period.

 

[GraysMom]

My dad, 2 brothers and a sister-in-law are all doctors and I address all their mail Dr X. I feel they worked hard for their advanced degrees and it would be disrespectful of me to not put Dr in front of their name. JMHO.

 

[C.Ann]

I emailed my sister (an OB/GYN) and my brother in law (a dentist), apologizing profusely for not addressing my son's graduation announcements to Mr. and Dr. So and So or Dr. and Mrs. So and So (I think I addressed them to Mr. and Mrs. and Family in both circumstances).

They both emailed me back, apologizing for not addressing envelopes they mail to me as Ms. Anne So and So, R.N.

Seriously, if that's what you're spending any time wondering and thinking about, you have NO worries!!

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It's funny you should mention this because I actually had been sitting here thinking, if "Mary Smith" is an RN, should her family send invitations addressed to "Ms. Mary Smith, RN" ? Or is her "title" not important enough to be added?

 

[Becky2005]

I emailed my sister (an OB/GYN) and my brother in law (a dentist), apologizing profusely for not addressing my son's graduation announcements to Mr. and Dr. So and So or Dr. and Mrs. So and So (I think I addressed them to Mr. and Mrs. and Family in both circumstances).

Wait -- is this sister (OB/GYN) married to the BIL (dentist) or are they 2 different families? Wouldn't it be "Dr. sister & Dr. BIL"? It wouldn't be Mr. & Dr. or Mrs. & Dr.?

Hmm...now I really am wondering how people would address someone like this...our old pastor was know as "Pastor X" at the church but he also National Guard. I'm pretty sure he was never called "Pastor firstname or first initial" when in that capacity. I wouldn't know his rank although I know he's pretty high up & an officer. DH has told me in the past based on when he has worn his uniform. I was told once but if I were to address anything to him -- I would probably end up just putting "Pastor J" and not include his military title at all but hmm....I have no clue what the proper formal way would be to address anything to him. "The Smith family" is looking better and better -- that sounds the least offensive in all these title things.

 

[disykat]

How is it ever wrong to use Mr. and Mrs. on an envelope??? I don't get it?? It doesn't matter what one does for a living it still is never wrong or innapropriate period.

If my brother or sister was President of the United States, I would probably still use their first names. Or if I was being formal I would address him/her as President last name. I can't see any circumstance where I would use Mr./Mrs. in that case unless it was a slip of the tongue and I momentarily forgot their current title.

 

[disykat]

Wait -- is this sister (OB/GYN) married to the BIL (dentist) or are they 2 different families? Wouldn't it be "Dr. sister & Dr. BIL"? It wouldn't be Mr. & Dr. or Mrs. & Dr.?

That would depend if they use the same last names.

 

[disykat]

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It's funny you should mention this because I actually had been sitting here thinking, if "Mary Smith" is an RN, should her family send invitations addressed to "Ms. Mary Smith, RN" ? Or is her "title" not important enough to be added?

RN is a job title, not a formal address title. I would think those letters behind a name indicating qualifications would only be used in business correspondence. For some reason Drs. and members of the clergy were given a different formal address. I doubt it was meant to belittle others who don't have that address.

 

[ginna74]

If my brother or sister was President of the United States, I would probably still use their first names. Or if I was being formal I would address him/her as President last name. I can't see any circumstance where I would use Mr./Mrs. in that case unless it was a slip of the tongue and I momentarily forgot their current title.

so if you are being formal and they have no job what do you call them? I mean to say calling someone in a formal fashion mrs so and so is never wrong. If you want to call them something ELSE that is ok too but calling someone MRS and MR is never NOT appropriate. It is just a mater of respect, I was taught that in school. I also call people sir and ma'am ( to my elders mostly).

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Obviously you have a pre-existing bias here, because at no time did I ever make a request and I made it clear in the OP that I would never mention it.
It could also be a "generational thing". I address anyone older than me by Mr. or Mrs. unless I am asked specifically to use their first names. I addressed my aunts and uncles by the title, "Auntie and Uncle", and I expect the same in return. If my friends and neighbors heard the term "high brow" in relation to me, they would laugh. My favorite shoes are flip flops and that is what I wear when I am not mowing the lawn. Unlike my SIL, I do not have a Coach bag, not that there is anything wrong with that, but tend to stick to my LL Bean canvas"healthy bag" unless I get really dressed up.

Okay- now I get why they made the comment.
I don't have any pre-existing bias nor do I even know why you would assume that but whatever.
I was merely pointing out that perhaps it was a vibe you give to them. I guess I would never question why my sibling doesn't write mail to me without using a title other than my name or Mr. and Mrs.
If you had read the rest of my post you would have understood that I was merely giving another possiblity for the reasons for the comments etc. I also said that I have no idea what you are like or not so it was just a suggestion. I guess now I know.