? about teacher's comment to dd???

[m&m's mom]

If I ever pull my kids out of school for being sick than absolutely nothing happens except stay in the house. I think to do otherwise can send a very bad message.
There was a guy in my office that was supposed to be on a sales call and showed up on the news waiting for tickets to a concert. He was fired for lying.
Since there will be consequences later in life for this behavior I am going to start early teaching the lesson.
I do not think the teacher was at all out of line and even if it was 4:00 you said she was the 1st in line and that is too close to school time.

 

[Pam]

I could have kept up my grades through HS practically without even showing up to school at all. Does that mean I should have been able to skip class 4 out of 5 days each week?

I don't have a problem with the OP taking her DD to the autograph session. And I didn't realize that she was taken out of school for a valid illness and felt better later on. But I don't understand why she'd be surprised or upset over the teacher making some comments about the news article, assuming the comments were not rude (again, we still don't know the actual comments, just that comments were made in general).

No, Bob - it doesn't. But then again, I don't think I condoned skipping 4 out of 5 days of school. I do, however, think every once in awhile it is perfectly okay to do so. I think most everyone takes a "mental health break day" and plays hookie and does something fun and special at some point in his/her life.

Some people take their kids out of school for vacations. Many adults go on vacations themselves.

And I believe that I said that I have gone into school and said why I was taking my son out of school early to the person behind the desk.

I also believe I said that if I had been standing by child when the teacher said those remarks and I had umbrage with them, that I would have said something to the teacher myself right then and there.

Quite frankly, if it had been me, I would have just laughed and told the teacher that my child felt better, wanted to meet her idol and that we all need a mental break sometimes.

As I said in my opening sentence, this is just my two cents worth -- well, I guess we've raised that up to about 10 cents now....

 

[NMAmy]

I think the whole thing boils down to appearances. Since the illness coincided with the Op's dd being first in line for an autograph--it appears as though she left early to get in line even though she truly was ill.

I understand why the OP let her dd go to the autograph signing but I can also understand why the situation appears differently to the teacher.

This is why, in my house, the only place you are allowed to go when you're home sick is to the doctor's or the pharmacy so there can be no misunderstandings. The same holds true for me--if I'm home sick for work, those are the only two places I would go simply because I don't want to give the appearance of wrongdoing.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Quoting myself here because I think I had a good alternative action the OP and DD could have taken and I still want to know when the DD went home. I feel so invisible!

I'm kind of a pain in the butt when it comes to my kids calling me from school saying that they are sick, especially when I feel that they can stick it out. I very often talk to them, tell them that they don't have to feel 100% to make it through the day (I'm talking about my older kids). I am a stay at home mom and can get them without an issue, but I don't want them home when they can stick it out.

 

[disney4us2002]

betcha never thought you'd get a 10 page thread out of this, did you?

You gotta be kidding right? The mob mentality in this place turns many inconsequential posts into pages and pages and pages of "shame on you, bad mommy".

I think it was inappropriate for the teacher to comment to an 11 yr old. IF he felt she was faking or the mother planned the illness for the autograph session, he should speak to the mother about his concerns.

 

[3gr8kids]

Also, I have to say this. The old mantra of "teachers can't tell me or my precious child what to do" is troubling, and just plain wrong. Especially at a private school. When you enroll, you agree to certain rules. Life is full of rules. So are schools. Just because we are the parents, it doesn't give us the moral or "legal" right to choose which rules fit.

ITA .

 

[Toby'sFriend]

You gotta be kidding right? The mob mentality in this place turns many inconsequential posts into pages and pages and pages of "shame on you, bad mommy".

Fair enough. And truthfully we all have our bad Mommy moments and occassionaly they irritate those people we pay to teach our kids.

I don't blame you for wanting to take your daughter to see the Figure Skater. She had probably been looking forward to it for days, and who likes to disappoint their kid?

But...if you were standing right there, I think you could have stepped in and been honest with the Teacher at that point. If you would have just said "I'm really sorry how that must look to you, she was feeling better and I really hated to disappoint her." Everybody probably would feel a little better about the situation then.

 

[Pam]

But...if you were standing right there, I think you could have stepped in and been honest with the Teacher at that point. If you would have just said "I'm really sorry how that must look to you, she was feeling better and I really hated to disappoint her." Everybody probably would feel a little better about the situation then.

That's what I would have done.

 

[Mermaid02]

As long as the teacher had the guts to say it to you/in front of you.... I have no problem with it and as the parent (the one who ultimately decided to pull her out of school yet take her to meet Oksana) I would have addressed it and explained my side to the teacher. Now, if he was making comments to my child NOT in my presence I might think differently. After all, it was the PARENT who took the child out of school- NOT the child making decisions all her own.

 

[Marilyn Mc]

I don't think what the teacher said is a big deal. How do you not comment on the situation when the girl was in the newspaper?

 

[disneymom3]

It is me and my child.
Once I check my child out of school, the school has NO rights to tell me what I can and cannot do.
Just the thought that they might think they do makes me cringe.

Hmmmm, I don't know about that. You have heard of mandatory attendance haven't you? Have ya read the threads on "should I take my child out?" and all of the school policies that come up on those threads.

Now, I agree that this is a different circumstance and I would have taken my DD to the meet and greet too. In fact, my mom wrote me a note excusing me for "personal reasons" almost every Friday afternoon April-June of my senior yr of high school and my best friend and I went to the beach. Sadly, though, schools are intruding more and more into people's private lives.

 

[disykat]

I don't think what the teacher said is a big deal. How do you not comment on the situation when the girl was in the newspaper?

ITA. I don't get it. If a teacher can't comment on an absence, or an article the child was in in the newspaper - what can they comment on? I honestly am happy when teachers take an interest in my child. If they didn't notice I'd be more likely to be bothered that they don't seem to notice when my child is gone or has her name or picture in the paper.

 

[MinnieM3]

ITA. I don't get it. If a teacher can't comment on an absence, or an article the child was in in the newspaper - what can they comment on? I honestly am happy when teachers take an interest in my child. If they didn't notice I'd be more likely to be bothered that they don't seem to notice when my child is gone or has her name or picture in the paper.

Yep! you can't please everyone, no mater what you do! The teacher's always wrong, just like you said. Some other parent would say my kid made the front page and her teacher didn't even acknowledge it. Those callous uncaring teachers....... It's a hard balancing act. But you just can't please all the people all the time.

 

[poohandwendy]

the autograph session was at the Owen's Center Ice Rink and it was at 4:00-4:30 pm. dd called me at around 11:30, I did not lie and check her out of school for this. It's our first year at this school and I don't know this teacher very well, he has a very strong presence.

I guess I am just wondering why you didn't tell the teacher what you have said here? That she felt sick enough to come home earlier in the day, then felt alot better after a nap and you felt it would be fine for her to go to the autograph session later. You say that he mentioned it a few times, in front of you, I guess I just don't understand why you didn't just clear it up right then and there if his comments rubbed you the wrong way? It just seems pretty simple to me. If you had nothing to hide, then why not say so?

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

maybe I am wrong, but I have been assuming that the teachers comments were out of line, as in judgemental or overly sarcastic - and therefore off-putting. I know this would have taken me by surprise - and many people do not initially handle off putting remarks very well on the spot - maybe this was the case!? I know I would not be quick to react to these types of remarks when coming from someone like a teacher or someone else I would want to react incorrectly toward. I think it would help if we knew this detail - exactly how the teacher approached this makes all the difference.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Well said pansmermaid,

I was also kind of assuming that the teacher was putting the student on the spot, in a negative way.

I was thinking why would the OP be so concerned unless that is how it happened.

I am assuming that the teacher was not saying... 'How great that you met Oksana!!!'

But, you know what they say about assumptions!
Unless we were there, we really can not gauge the manner and tone of voice and intent of the teacher.

Same thing happens online... Very often things can be misread, because the true tone and intention does not come thru on the screen.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

This is funny.

When I was kid my mom had this theory: if you are sick enough to come home from school, you aren't well enough to go anywhere. If I was sick enough to be checked out, I had to go home and stay there. If I had pulled an, "Ok, I'm all better now," and requested to do something like this, she would have had my rear for sure, and for good reason!!!

And no, I don't think the teacher was out of line.

 

[teacherforhi]

But, seriously, I do feel strongly that teachers should teach, and that is the limit of their responsibility. I truly do feel that many teachers, and our educational system as a whole, are really overstepping their limits. I feel very strongly about parents rights.

Wow...

I have a new philosophy of education...

When your daughter comes to me upset because her kitten died and asks if she can talk to me about it, I'll just say no. It isn't my job to listen to her sob stories. It's just my job to teach and dead kittens aren't on the Standard Course of Study.

When your son comes to me and asks me to go with him to talk to the football coach about being on the team, I'll tell him no. It's not my fault your son has a learning disability and a hearing impairment and is nervous about playing a sport. It's just my job to teach and extracurricular activities aren't on the Standard Course of Study.

No longer will I waste precious educational time greeting students first thing in the morning, looking at their family vacation pictures that they're so proud to show me, complimenting them on their new tennis shoes, or asking how their weekend was. They can just sit down, be quiet, and listen!

After all, my only job is to teach.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Ohhhh, spare me the drama...

All of the things you mention above are indeed part of a normal day at school teaching children.

I am refering to negative comments, and judgements, concerning what happens once a student leaves the school building with their parent. (which is basicly none of the teachers business whatsoever.)

But, hey, let the pro-teacher parent bashing continue!!!

 

[Daxx]

It seems as if we teachers are damned if we do and damned if we don't. We make a comment and and we're considered rude. We don't make a comment and we're considered uncaring about our students.

I had 2 students "out sick" on Halloween day ... however, they came to school the next morning regaling me w/their tales of trick or treating. I'm sorry ... but I don't get it. Of course, I held my tongue and said "Sounds like you had a lot of fun!" in my most cheerful voice. If I said "If you were well enough to go trick or treating, why weren't you in school?", I'm sure I would have caught it from the parents. And, if I blew off the fact that they're telling me about their adventures, then I'm labeled as a cold, callous, beotchy teacher.

So, what are we teachers supposed to do!? Wishing on a Star says teachers should teach, and that is the limit of their responsibility. As a teacher, isn't it my responsibility to nurture children aside from educating them? To show them kindness and compassion and, in turn, how to be kind an compassionate? To care about what they do outside of school? To listen to them when they're upset or happy ... to console or rejoice with them?

Or should I, as teacherforhi mentioned, stop taking an interest in students extracurricular activities? If one of my little ones comes up to me, excited about losing her first tooth, should I say "sit down and do your work, I'm only here to teach you"? Should I just stand in front of the class like an automaton and spew information out and not be concerned about them other than academically!? If I notice that Suzy has head lice or Jimmy is having problems seeing the board, should I not inform the parent? After all, if my only responsibility is to teach, then I shouldn't get involved, right? B/c notifying the parents would not be teaching.

Maybe I'm misinterpreting!?

Anyway, I always thought that teaching was only part of what I do -- that my job went beyond just spitting out info. for them to listen to.