ABC's What Would YOU DO??

[Katie's Butterflies]

No one called the police, I was the one who called 911 after getting away from him. I wouldn't want anyone to put themselves in danger but shouting "Hey" probably would have helped as calling 911 would have. The women in the van were scared. The men according to statements thought it was none of their business or a domestic dispute (because it's okay if my DH was attacking me w/a knife?). This was a group of people not one or two bystanders. Not one called the cops, not one. People usually act on herd mentality meaning if one does nothing, none will do nothing. If one steps up the others will. I'm not saying to throw yourself in harms way I'm just saying do something.

I am so sorry you had to go through something like that. You must have been terrified. I am glad you are ok.

Your situation reminds me of the situation a while ago where a woman was rapped and murdered in broad daylight, out in the open. There were around 500 witnesses and not one called the cops. They all expected someone else to do it.

 

[hereyago]

Wenrob- I cried and had chill bumps as I read your post. I am so sorry that happened to you.


And yes I would help, unless it was a gun. but even with that, I wouldn't just watching and not calling 911 and tell the person doing it i was calling 911.

When I was in high school: I didn't have my license yet and had to ride the bus for an after school activity. A girl had broken up with her boyfriend. As we were stopping at a bus stop, he jumped on the bus and tried to drag her off. there were guys sitting in the front and they stopped him. This was in the 80's before the term stalking was known to me, also i had never witnessed a guy trying to do that to a girl, let alone someone he was claiming at the time he loved.

As for the bar scenario. Yes I would help the girl, but I would also tell the girl just how stupid that was. I do not drink with people I don't trust. I also don't leave my drinks-unattended. It doesn't matter if it is just soda and someone puts something in it.

It is interesting that people think that someone else will call or help. I was driving with my friend, we were teenagers at the time. and we saw a car in a embankment lights still on,etc. all these people would look but wouldn't stop.

So i pulled over and i know this will sound bad, but i was terrified that i would see someone dead,etc. but we got there and no one was in the car. they had gone to call a tow. but the 2 of us girls were standing around the car and then someone wanted to stop.

 

[wenrob]

That's horrible. I'm so sorry that happened to you.

I am so sorry you had to go through something like that. You must have been terrified. I am glad you are ok.

Your situation reminds me of the situation a while ago where a woman was rapped and murdered in broad daylight, out in the open. There were around 500 witnesses and not one called the cops. They all expected someone else to do it.

Wenrob- I cried and had chill bumps as I read your post. I am so sorry that happened to you.


And yes I would help, unless it was a gun. but even with that, I wouldn't just watching and not calling 911 and tell the person doing it i was calling 911.

When I was in high school: I didn't have my license yet and had to ride the bus for an after school activity. A girl had broken up with her boyfriend. As we were stopping at a bus stop, he jumped on the bus and tried to drag her off. there were guys sitting in the front and they stopped him. This was in the 80's before the term stalking was known to me, also i had never witnessed a guy trying to do that to a girl, let alone someone he was claiming at the time he loved.

As for the bar scenario. Yes I would help the girl, but I would also tell the girl just how stupid that was. I do not drink with people I don't trust. I also don't leave my drinks-unattended. It doesn't matter if it is just soda and someone puts something in it.

It is interesting that people think that someone else will call or help. I was driving with my friend, we were teenagers at the time. and we saw a car in a embankment lights still on,etc. all these people would look but wouldn't stop.

So i pulled over and i know this will sound bad, but i was terrified that i would see someone dead,etc. but we got there and no one was in the car. they had gone to call a tow. but the 2 of us girls were standing around the car and then someone wanted to stop.

Thank you all very much. It was almost 10 years ago but I'm just now starting to realize what an impact it's had on who I am now.

Katie's Butterflies-Yes, I'm sure that's pretty much what happened in my situation. That's why I posted, don't think someone else is calling, you be the person to call (and/or yell or help how you can). Once someone steps up others will. The police would rather get several 911 calls than none at all and a dead body, kwim?

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

No one called the police, I was the one who called 911 after getting away from him. I wouldn't want anyone to put themselves in danger but shouting "Hey" probably would have helped as calling 911 would have. The women in the van were scared. The men according to statements thought it was none of their business or a domestic dispute (because it's okay if my DH was attacking me w/a knife?). This was a group of people not one or two bystanders. Not one called the cops, not one. People usually act on herd mentality meaning if one does nothing, none will do nothing. If one steps up the others will. I'm not saying to throw yourself in harms way I'm just saying do something.

I'm SO sorry. I can't even imagine.

 

[DawnCt1]

Disclaimer - I didn't see it, but . . .

No, it's not that. We (as a general society) are socialized to be predisposed toward certain things. Young man (especially minority) trying to take a bike = thief, young girl trying to take bike = girl who has lost keys/is borrowing from a friend/insert random excuse.

Actually the girl very directly and specifically indicated that she was stealing the bike, that it was not hers; as did all of those attempting to "liberate the bike". The girl was more direct in her intention of stealing however.

 

[DawnCt1]

As someone who was stabbed and hearing a witness say, "I saw it happening but I thought it was a domestic dispute so I minded my own business." I was screaming, SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME on the ground, fighting for my life with a man with a knife in his hand over me. Two women followed him in a mini van after he ran off but NO ONE even tried to scare him off. All I could think was my then 3yr old DD was going to lose her mother and no would help me.

I'd jump in and be nosy, in peoples business, whatever if I thought it was going to possibly save someone great harm or even their life. In a heart beat. (have and would even before being a victim of a violent crime)

You have proven that this kind of thing isn't FICTIONAL. It happens every day and we should help anyone who needs it. I am so glad that you survived to tell us about this. Absolutely! I would jump in, be nosy, call the police, ask for help. Its the least we can do! Bless you!

 

[SAHDad]

Actually the girl very directly and specifically indicated that she was stealing the bike, that it was not hers; as did all of those attempting to "liberate the bike". The girl was more direct in her intention of stealing however.

As I said, I did not see it. I still could see it happening - we (again, as a society) just tend to dismiss violence & crime done by women as being less serious. I'll have to watch it though, although probably not on a day when my opinion of people is pretty low to start with.

 

[DawnCt1]

As I said, I did not see it. I still could see it happening - we (again, as a society) just tend to dismiss violence & crime done by women as being less serious. I'll have to watch it though, although probably not on a day when my opinion of people is pretty low to start with.

I will agree with that. Women generally 'get a pass' and "pretty young things" get escorted!

 

[ZeitgeistDuck]

I will agree with that. Women generally 'get a pass' and "pretty young things" get escorted!

By expecting random strangers to intervene and rescue some drunk chick from the stupidity of her own actions, are we not 'giving her a pass', not to mention escorting a pretty young thing?

I'm obviously not referring to girls that end up getting drugged, of course, but to girls that go out partying without taking responsibility for their own safety. IMO they are inviting whatever happens. I'm not saying the deserve whatever happens (NOBODY deserves rape!), but they are inviting it.

 

[OceanAnnie]

By expecting random strangers to intervene and rescue some drunk chick from the stupidity of her own actions, are we not 'giving her a pass', not to mention escorting a pretty young thing?

I'm obviously not referring to girls that end up getting drugged, of course, but to girls that go out partying without taking responsibility for their own safety. IMO they are inviting whatever happens. I'm not saying the deserve whatever happens (NOBODY deserves rape!), but they are inviting it.

I think there is a difference between being vulnerable and inviting trouble. IMO, an impaired person is not to blame for a criminal act against them.

 

[OceanAnnie]

As someone who was stabbed and hearing a witness say, "I saw it happening but I thought it was a domestic dispute so I minded my own business." I was screaming, SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME on the ground, fighting for my life with a man with a knife in his hand over me. Two women followed him in a mini van after he ran off but NO ONE even tried to scare him off. All I could think was my then 3yr old DD was going to lose her mother and no would help me.

I'd jump in and be nosy, in peoples business, whatever if I thought it was going to possibly save someone great harm or even their life. In a heart beat. (have and would even before being a victim of a violent crime)

How did you escape? I can't imagine. Did you know this person? I'm sorry for what you went through and to have people near and not receive help? Mind boggling.

 

[wenrob]

How did you escape? I can't imagine. Did you know this person? I'm sorry for what you went through and to have people near and not receive help? Mind boggling.

It's kind of a long story, a stalker type situation. He would come in with another customer that I did know. He kept trying to get me towards the back of the store and I'm so thankful I didn't because I truly believe I wouldn't be here right now. It was right at closing time so I had the keys in the door and told him he had to go, my big mistake was turning my back on him. He grabbed me from behind and stabbed me. The blade knicked my spine which caused me to go down and brought him down with me. We tussled with me screaming at the top of my lungs and then he was standing over me. Honestly thought I was dead at that point, I started kicking and for whatever reason he took off. I jumped up and thank goodness the keys were still in the door, locked the door and dialed 911. This happened in the doorway of a book store in a very busy center. People only came forward after the police and ambulance showed up, except for the ladies in the van, they did try to follow him which I'm thankful for. I was the only 911 call. A lot of those people were customers, I never got over that, it was almost worse then the actual attack. The ambulance guys couldn't believe I was on my feet and immediately told me to stop moving. They never caught him and my biggest fear is that he would hurt someone else. The customer he would come in with claimed he didn't know him.

 

[OceanAnnie]

It's kind of a long story, a stalker type situation. He would come in with another customer that I did know. He kept trying to get me towards the back of the store and I'm so thankful I didn't because I truly believe I wouldn't be here right now. It was right at closing time so I had the keys in the door and told him he had to go, my big mistake was turning my back on him. He grabbed me from behind and stabbed me. The blade knicked my spine which caused me to go down and brought him down with me. We tussled with me screaming at the top of my lungs and then he was standing over me. Honestly thought I was dead at that point, I started kicking and for whatever reason he took off. I jumped up and thank goodness the keys were still in the door, locked the door and dialed 911. This happened in the doorway of a book store in a very busy center. People only came forward after the police and ambulance showed up, except for the ladies in the van, they did try to follow him which I'm thankful for. I was the only 911 call. A lot of those people were customers, I never got over that, it was almost worse then the actual attack. The ambulance guys couldn't believe I was on my feet and immediately told me to stop moving. They never caught him and my biggest fear is that he would hurt someone else. The customer he would come in with claimed he didn't know him.

The whole account is chilling. Chilling. Thank goodness you had the inner strength and presence of mind to defend yourself. I'm sure it was a terrible blow to have customers you had a relationship with that didn't come to your aid in any way.

 

[lillygator]

I really wanted to see this and have my younger sister watch it as well.....

I think people are plenty outraged when rape is proven AND when dog fighting is proven. And on the flip side, I'm equally outraged at false accusations against people.

I also hate all the false allegations, as a woman it enrages me. But in the case of Big Ben, which you seem to be sympathetic to.....I would bet all I had he is not being falsely accused....if so, there would be no case(s) against him, he would have not needed to give a public apology nor would the NFL had to give him a suspension. What is outrageous is these men getting away with it. He has money, go to Vegas and get a prostitute....don't feed shots to a girl and try to have your way with her.

 

[pixiewings71]

Yes, I would intervene, I've been the victim of a violent crime and it is not fun. It still haunts me to this day and it's been over half of my life, I'm almost 39, this happened at 15.....it's had a major impact. But yes I know that, unless it would endanger my children I absolutely would intervene and if it would endanger them I would call 911 or I would enlist help from those around. The clubs I go to all have bouncers, if I saw someone trying to escort a drunk person out against her will I would absolutely tell the bartenders and bouncers. As for drinking alone, I never do that out, I only drink with people I can trust 100% and I teach my children the same precautions. My oldest is 22, she has yet to get drunk without her DBF around and if she's drinking he isn't. As their parent it's up to me to teach them the dangers of drinking and I can only hope I do it right.
FTR I know for sure that DBF would intervene as well, because he's that kind of guy. And you know what, I actually have stepped in, some super drunk guy was bugging some girl, she was saying no and he ignoring her, he ended up pushing her and knocking her down, off the dance floor onto the bench at the side on down to the floor, she hit her hip on the way down and he just laughed at her, I got right up in his face and told him off, with DBF and 2 other big guys behind me telling him I was gonna knock him on his butt. LOL He just ignored me and kept laughing with his drunk
(and not drunk, which was even worse!!!) friends so I went to the bouncers and told them what happened, he was cut off at the bar (no more drinks for him and his friends) and they made him leave soon after because he was saying he was going to come after me because it my fault he'd been cut off.....so they kicked him out and called the cops. After I talked to the bouncers I went to the bathroom to check on the girl and she was seriously hurting, her friends took her home a short while later but they all thanked me for stepping in. And if I hadn't, DBF would have, he didn't because he really liked watching me yell at the guy. LOL So ya, I know he'd step in.

As a society we need to be more responsible for each other, this would be a good way to start.

 

[RitaZ.]

Dawn, I don't watch that show. That's the bystander effect at play. The greater the number of bystanders watching an emergency, the less likely people are to intervene. A classic example is the Kitty Genovese murder.

Even if I choose not to get personally involved in an emergency situation, for fear of injury or retribution, I'll at least call the cops. I've done so in the past.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

I also hate all the false allegations, as a woman it enrages me. But in the case of Big Ben, which you seem to be sympathetic to.....I would bet all I had he is not being falsely accused....if so, there would be no case(s) against him, he would have not needed to give a public apology nor would the NFL had to give him a suspension. What is outrageous is these men getting away with it. He has money, go to Vegas and get a prostitute....don't feed shots to a girl and try to have your way with her.

Here we go again!

Then maybe the underaged girl shouldn't have been in the bar in the first place downing shots .

I'm not saying he's not a pig he is. At 28 he shouldn't have been partying with 20 year old girls. He gave a public apology and got his suspension for the behavior he displayed,(here in Pittsburgh and out of state) because there was no case against him. The charges were dropped. PERIOD!

The national media reports what they want to. Here in Pittsburgh we got alot more details of the case in Georgia and Reno. As I said he shouldn't have been there, but "honey" in the bathroom was following him around bar to bar. And her so called friends could have got to her if they wanted to. Why did they let her go in the first place? Just like the news show. Her "friends" should have stopped her before she allegedly went with the bodyguards.

As for the woman in Reno her co-worker who the alleged victim bragged to gave a sworn statement Andrea McNulty told many people including her about her consensual encounter and hoped she was pregnant. Hmmm maybe thats why she didn't file a criminal suit and is just going for his money.

People are obviously going to believe what they want . It all comes down to people are responsible for their own actions and consequences..period. A man doesn't have to be rich or a superstar to take advantage of you. It can happen anywhere. I found out the hard way also, just because people act and say they're your friends,,,their actions may show otherwise. You may think your "friends " are going to help and stand up for you but they turn out to be something you definetly thought they weren't. Be careful Ladies!