ABC's What Would YOU DO??

[shortbun]

I wish I'd seen it. I've intervened on several occasions. Once, I had to go get a tennis raquet out of the back of my car and threaten the man with it, he he. He backed off then. The woman thanked me the next day, sent me roses.

This reminds me of the Rothlisberger thing...his body guards not allowing the young woman's friends to intervene for his most recent assault victim. Imagine hiring thugs to allow you to assault women without interruption. I guess raping a woman isn't as bad as dog fighting. Interesting, eh?

 

[torinsmom]

I wish I'd seen it. I've intervened on several occasions. Once, I had to go get a tennis raquet out of the back of my car and threaten the man with it, he he. He backed off then. The woman thanked me the next day, sent me roses.

This reminds me of the Rothlisberger thing...his body guards not allowing the young woman's friends to intervene for his most recent assault victim. Imagine hiring thugs to allow you to assault women without interruption. I guess raping a woman isn't as bad as dog fighting. Interesting, eh?

All the segments, including the drink girl one, are on the webpage I listed if you want to watch...

 

[MiniGirl]

I'd like to think I'd intervene, but I honestly don't know when I'd find myself in that situation. It has been decades since I've been in a bar. LOL!! My dh has been in that situation before and has intervened, so I know he would.

Really though, we don't know how we would react until we are there. Once I was at Target and saw 3 teenage girls yelling at another one. They started pushing and there was no doubt that it was going to escalate. I had an infant and toddler with me at the time though and I worried for their safety as well as my own. (Dh was out of town and what would happen to my girls if I got hurt? That sort of thing.) I went and told an employee ASAP, but really that was as much as I was willing to do. I always thought I would intervene in a situation like that no matter what, so I'm not proud of it, but I just didn't feel I could put my girls and myself at risk like that.

 

[DawnCt1]

I wish I'd seen it. I've intervened on several occasions. Once, I had to go get a tennis raquet out of the back of my car and threaten the man with it, he he. He backed off then. The woman thanked me the next day, sent me roses.

This reminds me of the Rothlisberger thing...his body guards not allowing the young woman's friends to intervene for his most recent assault victim. Imagine hiring thugs to allow you to assault women without interruption. I guess raping a woman isn't as bad as dog fighting. Interesting, eh?

Good for you! Well deserved roses I might add. There is much less outrage about rape than dog fighting. Sad isn't it.

 

[minkydog]

I'd like to think I'd intervene, but I honestly don't know when I'd find myself in that situation. It has been decades since I've been in a bar. LOL!! My dh has been in that situation before and has intervened, so I know he would.

Really though, we don't know how we would react until we are there. Once I was at Target and saw 3 teenage girls yelling at another one. They started pushing and there was no doubt that it was going to escalate. I had an infant and toddler with me at the time though and I worried for their safety as well as my own. (Dh was out of town and what would happen to my girls if I got hurt? That sort of thing.) I went and told an employee ASAP, but really that was as much as I was willing to do. I always thought I would intervene in a situation like that no matter what, so I'm not proud of it, but I just didn't feel I could put my girls and myself at risk like that.

First rule of rescue: Don't endanger yourself (or your kids!) You did exactly the right thing. It's not like you could just pass your baby to a stranger while you jumped in to break up the fray. Even Wonder Woman wouldn't do that! But you certainly could, and did!, call the right people. I think you should be proud of yourself!

I agree with PPs, I don't think we really know how we will respond until the situation presents itself. I like to think that I would intervene, because basically I'm pretty nosy and bossy(you probably didn't know that about me.) I'm in my 50s, so I guess I've earned the right to stick my nose into someone's business when I sense that something shady is going on. I was driving on the interstate last year when a passenger "fell" out of the car in front of me. I immediately stopped and got out to check on her. Her BF was backing up to get her and I did have the thought that maybe he would hurt me. The girl wasn't hurt, just upset, and she refused my offer to take her to safety or even call the police. The BF didn't get out of the car and she willingly got back in with him. Of course, i don't know all the ins and out of the situation, but I know that man threw her out of the car. But if she isn't willing to tell, there's not much I or the police could do.

 

[krcit]

That show is so good. I saw one last year that had a similar scenario. They showed a guy putting something in a girls drink. It blew my mind when some people refused to get involved. They also had one girl dressed 'nicely' and one dressed a bit more scantily. More people helped the 'nice' girl. I can say without a doubt that I would intervene if I saw a guy trying to drag a drunk girl out of the bar. Even if I just ran and got a bouncer or called the cops. How could you just watch that and not say anything? I have to watch the show..the scenario where the man helps the girl steal a bike is disgusting.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

It was heart breaking to see the real life video of a young, beautiful very drunk,21 year old girl being dragged out of a club knowing that she was later found raped and murdered. If someone had said, "wait, she doesn't know you, so she isn't going with you" and intervened she would be alive.
The portrayal last night made it very clear that the girls didn't know him. That they didn't welcome his advances but that they were helpless to resist. I couldn't help but intervene.

In that case I would ask the bar manager to call the police or I would call the police. I would not try and intervene on my own behalf. Tangling with drunks is something that is best left up to the professionals imo.

 

[MushyMushy]

I just watched the video -- I think in a situation like that, I know that as a group, the people I hang out with would step in. Individually, we might not be that confrontational, though like I said, I'd definitely bring it to someone else's attention. Plus, that girl was resisting a bit and that made a difference. What if the drunk girl wasn't resisting? Anyway, like I said, I've never really encountered anything like that.

If you read the comments under the video, someone brings up a good point that the bar this is happening in isn't a usual night club scene where it's noisy and many others are drinking a lot too.

The best thing we can do is to teach young people not to put themselves in these situations in the first place!

 

[ZeitgeistDuck]

I would like to think I'd intervene, but it would depend on the situation. If the girl clearly didn't want to go with the man, that's one thing. If its just a drunk girl leaving with a man or group of men, there wouldn't be a way for me to know if one of them is her boyfriend, husband, brother, etc. If she isn't resisting, why would I intervene?

I can't help but blame the so-called victim here. Who in her right mind gets wasted in public without taking some precautions and being with at least one sober friend? I hope to god that is never my daughter, I hope that I will teach her better sense than that. I know that sometimes the girl is slipped something and the situation really isn't of her making, but I have a hard time excusing people who drink irresponsibly and expect by-standing strangers to step in and take responsibility for a situation they didn't create.

 

[wenrob]

As someone who was stabbed and hearing a witness say, "I saw it happening but I thought it was a domestic dispute so I minded my own business." I was screaming, SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME on the ground, fighting for my life with a man with a knife in his hand over me. Two women followed him in a mini van after he ran off but NO ONE even tried to scare him off. All I could think was my then 3yr old DD was going to lose her mother and no would help me.

I'd jump in and be nosy, in peoples business, whatever if I thought it was going to possibly save someone great harm or even their life. In a heart beat. (have and would even before being a victim of a violent crime)

 

[SAHDad]

That was an outrageous segment. What happens to men???!!! Do they loose their minds?

Disclaimer - I didn't see it, but . . .

No, it's not that. We (as a general society) are socialized to be predisposed toward certain things. Young man (especially minority) trying to take a bike = thief, young girl trying to take bike = girl who has lost keys/is borrowing from a friend/insert random excuse.

Some news show (20/20? Dateline? something like that) did a "What would you do" a couple years ago in a park. Man and a woman arguing. When the man was aggressive (but never hitting), people stopped, watched, got involved, called the cops, asked the woman if she needed help. When the woman was the aggressive party (and she actually shoved and hit), onlookers encouraged it, and no intervened or (IIRC) even called the cops. Some people they interviewed afterwards said, in a nutshell, that he had to have deserved it.

 

[Handbag Lady]

In the bar scenario, I would step in and do something. It just is my nature. Two weeks ago I ran half a block to return a sweater that was dropped by a passerby.

I think if more people got involved, there would be less crime.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

There is much less outrage about rape than dog fighting. Sad isn't it.

I think people are plenty outraged when rape is proven AND when dog fighting is proven. And on the flip side, I'm equally outraged at false accusations against people.

 

[MM27]

Was this a new What Would You Do? I caught the part in the bar. It's in my town on the boardwalk and I remember them being there last year. When one of the cops mentioned taking the girls under the stairs, they lead down to the beach under the boardwalk. Wonder why the cops didn't want their faces shown

 

[minkydog]

I can't help but blame the so-called victim here. Who in her right mind gets wasted in public without taking some precautions and being with at least one sober friend? I hope to god that is never my daughter, I hope that I will teach her better sense than that. I know that sometimes the girl is slipped something and the situation really isn't of her making, but I have a hard time excusing people who drink irresponsibly and expect by-standing strangers to step in and take responsibility for a situation they didn't create.

And this, I think, is the elephant in the room. Alcohol is the great loosener of inhibitions, for both men and women. Since we rarely hear about a drunk young man being dragged away by one or more women, and since I have a 17yo daughter, I will address this to young women.

First of all, Alcohol is not your friend. It will make you think and do things that you might not even consider in your sober mind. Most compromising situations start with a glass of wine or a cocktail. You can't think as clearly with alcohol in your bloodstream.

If you decide to make alcohol a part of your night out, be sure you have a back up plan. Bring a friend who knows you well, who will stand up for you, who will stand up *to* you if you get belligerant or become inappropriate. Someone who you trust and who is not afraid to do the right thing.

Never, never split off from the group. Ever. And don't let a friend do it either. Very rarely will you meet the man of your dreams at 3am in a smoky bar. You might, however, meet Jack the Ripper.

And be sure you have a cell phone, cab money and an exit plan if all your back ups fail.

I don't drink now, but I did when I was in college. I look back and really, I'm horrified by the chances I took and the situations I allowed myself into. Alcohol never did me any favors. It is just by the grace of God that I didn't get myself into something terrible.

 

[torinsmom]

As someone who was stabbed and hearing a witness say, "I saw it happening but I thought it was a domestic dispute so I minded my own business." I was screaming, SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME on the ground, fighting for my life with a man with a knife in his hand over me. Two women followed him in a mini van after he ran off but NO ONE even tried to scare him off. All I could think was my then 3yr old DD was going to lose her mother and no would help me.

I'd jump in and be nosy, in peoples business, whatever if I thought it was going to possibly save someone great harm or even their life. In a heart beat. (have and would even before being a victim of a violent crime)

I have to say I wouldn't intervene directly in this situation. I WOULD immediately call the police though, and help the person when the attacker left. If someone has a knife or gun, I am not going to confront them and risk being hurt as well, because I would be thinking of leaving my child motherless as well. Unless someone has a weapon, it is foolish to challenge someone with one, IMHO.

Disclaimer - I didn't see it, but . . .

No, it's not that. We (as a general society) are socialized to be predisposed toward certain things. Young man (especially minority) trying to take a bike = thief, young girl trying to take bike = girl who has lost keys/is borrowing from a friend/insert random excuse.

Some news show (20/20? Dateline? something like that) did a "What would you do" a couple years ago in a park. Man and a woman arguing. When the man was aggressive (but never hitting), people stopped, watched, got involved, called the cops, asked the woman if she needed help. When the woman was the aggressive party (and she actually shoved and hit), onlookers encouraged it, and no intervened or (IIRC) even called the cops. Some people they interviewed afterwards said, in a nutshell, that he had to have deserved it.

Well, in this case, the woman told everyone that it was NOT her bike and that she was stealing it. They were basically accomplices in her theft, because she told them it was not hers; she just wanted it.

 

[PaulaSB12]

For a woman it might be safer to take a drunk woman home than a man. A british taxi driver who made sure a 16 year old drunk girl was shocked when he was accused of rape

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-450374/Two-months-girl-rape-lie-ruined-cabbies-life.html
he wasn't the only one either
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/a...vastating-cost-drunk-teenager-cried-rape.html

 

[wenrob]

I have to say I wouldn't intervene directly in this situation. I WOULD immediately call the police though, and help the person when the attacker left. If someone has a knife or gun, I am not going to confront them and risk being hurt as well, because I would be thinking of leaving my child motherless as well. Unless someone has a weapon, it is foolish to challenge someone with one, IMHO.

No one called the police, I was the one who called 911 after getting away from him. I wouldn't want anyone to put themselves in danger but shouting "Hey" probably would have helped as calling 911 would have. The women in the van were scared. The men according to statements thought it was none of their business or a domestic dispute (because it's okay if my DH was attacking me w/a knife?). This was a group of people not one or two bystanders. Not one called the cops, not one. People usually act on herd mentality meaning if one does nothing, none will do nothing. If one steps up the others will. I'm not saying to throw yourself in harms way I'm just saying do something.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

I think people are plenty outraged when rape is proven AND when dog fighting is proven. And on the flip side, I'm equally outraged at false accusations against people.

MTE!!

 

[MushyMushy]

No one called the police, I was the one who called 911 after getting away from him. I wouldn't want anyone to put themselves in danger but shouting "Hey" probably would have helped as calling 911 would have. The women in the van were scared. The men according to statements thought it was none of their business or a domestic dispute (because it's okay if my DH was attacking me w/a knife?). This was a group of people not one or two bystanders. Not one called the cops, not one. People usually act on herd mentality meaning if one does nothing, none will do nothing. If one steps up the others will. I'm not saying to throw yourself in harms way I'm just saying do something.

That's horrible. I'm so sorry that happened to you.