A torn Mom / Wife...

[wvdisneymom]

Long story short... My hubby and I will be celebrating our 10 year anniversary this fall. He wants a trip alone... I think I would be miserable (worrying) w/out the kids. So, my solution is taking a sitter with us. The sitter (college girl from our church who has vacationed w/ us 3-4 other times) would take the kids to the pool, activities, naps, etc while hubby and I do our own thing...but then I would know they were safily tucked in bed at night. One evening we will take the kids (and sitter) to MNSSHP. Am I crazy thinking this would be a nice anniversary trip?? We would also be staying on-site for the first time ever.

 

[floydfamily4]

how old are the kids and where do you live?

 

[kappyfamily]

I also will be celebrating my 10 year in July with my hubby. My opinion is take a trip by yourselves! I have 2 kids and I feel really strongly that it is good for both sides, kids and the parents to take some time away. You and your hubby can get the much needed break and let's face it in todays world 10 years is a BIG deal! Your kids will also get a better appreciation for you two and will probably miss the heck out of you.... that's ok! As long as they are in responsible, safe hands at home then I say go for it!

Have fun no matter which way you decide.

 

[sparkyboy]

I think you should respect your DH wishes and go without the kids. While you will miss your kids, you need to spend some alone adult time, IMO, and believe me, when DH and I have kept Gkids for DD and DSIL, they never missed their folks because we had lots of activities and adventures of our own planned for each day. Good luck in your decision.

 

[4Seasons]

Another vote for going solo. As much as I understand your feelings, I agree with the consensus that it's very important for couples to have "alone time".
The kids will be fine. Couple-only time together is really important thruout your marriage. You don't want to wake up one morning once the kids are grown and independent and roll over to say "who ARE you?" to the man in your bed, LOL. You need to stay in touch as partners and not just as mom and dad.
I can't tell you how many times I've had clients with the same concerns, but once they got back from their "adults only" trip they were SO happy they chose to do it. It can really strengthen a relationship.
I struggle with this as well at times (and my kids are 16 and 13!), but trust me you will be glad you took that special time with your hubby!

 

[Experiment_626]

Couple-only time together is really important thruout your marriage. You don't want to wake up one morning once the kids are grown and independent and roll over to say "who ARE you?" to the man in your bed, LOL.

Exactly what I was going to say. You just beat me to it.

SSB

 

[disnee4mygirls]

I'm in the minority here I guess. We are going in July for our 9th anniversary and we are taking the kids with us. We like to do some things by ourselves but things just don't feel right without the kiddos there. They do have time away and do have sleepovers with relatives so we don't smother them. I guess the fact that we had a full term pregnancy loss doesn't help things as far as ever wanting them to be out of our sight. (Burying a child has changed our outlook on everything in life and a loss we will never recover from) Again, we do not smother them and we are not a crazy overprotective parent(s) either. I kind of chuckled at the pp who said 'you roll over one day and say who are you' as that's probably how we will be. We do take short trips here and there alone when they are still in school but for now though, we wouldn't have it any other way then to take our kiddos along.....(then again, we BOTH want to take them, not sure what would happen if one of us did and one didn't) Have fun whatever you decide and congrats on your almost 10 year anniversary!!

 

[thepwa]

I think, potentially, the real winner here could be the sitter!

Here is your job...go to Disney World and hang with the kids for a few days!

I'm sure my daughter would love to apply for that job!

 

[floydfamily4]

how old are the kids and where do you live?

The reason I ask the age of the kids is because when mine were still under 3 I couldn't leave them for more than a day or maybe an overnight (if they were with Granny) because I just felt like they were too small. Now that they are almost 5 I definately am a bit more relaxed (still can only go to select places but they can go) and willing to leave them more. We will celebrate our 10 year next summer and I want to take a 4-5 day trip without them. It will be the first time for that length but I think DH and I are both ready. I remind people (esp. married folks) that TIME IS THE CURRENCY OF RELATIONSHIPS. What pays off in a marriage? "TIME". So I strongly recommend that you honor your husband, your marriage, and your kids by going alone. Remember kids learn more by what is "caught" than "taught" and you will show them your commitment to each other and down the road that will also pay off. Just my .02. Have fun regardless!

 

[floydfamily4]

(Burying a child has changed our outlook on everything in life and a loss we will never recover from)

I cannot imagine your loss so I won't pretend to understand. My son had a seizure and ended up at TX childrens hospital in ICU for 2 weeks at 9months old and I KNOW it affects how I parent and protect my twins. For the OP I think the key is agreement - you and your DH agree and I think that makes it the right decision

Have a great day!

 

[Darcy03231]

As long as you have someone trustworthy to leave your children with, here's another vote for going solo! Couple time is very important in a marriage.

 

[Disney grandma]

I too think husbands and wives need time alone, but if you think you will be miserable without the children you should take them. My DH and I have been married 45 years and we always took our children on vacation with us. Now that they are grown we still do! Only now we have the grandchildren as well, and we wouldn't enjoy our DW trips without them. There are so many other places we have gone other than DW without children and we have had many nice vacations to other parts of the country, but when it comes to Disney - we all go!

 

[isla bonita]

We have always taken our children with us. Now that they are older we do have a lot more just us time.

Having the sitter is like alone time knowing if you choose to spend time with all you can.

 

[cwojchik]

I think the sitter idea is a great win-win.

 

[TamaraQT]

Ok, here is my 2 cents. I agree with everyone that thinks "alone time" for couples is very important. From what I can read, I think it's your destination(Disney) which is giving you the struggle. You are going to a place that is geared mostly towards kids, and the kids inside of us. So, my opinion is to make 'couple-time' destinations that is geared more towards couples and adults. Celebrate your 11th anniversary without the kids in a more adult enviroment and keep your disney plans in place with the sitter. Grab some alone time in between when you can. I think doing Disney as a couple is more for people who do not have children yet, or for those empty-nesters where the children are grown and on their own. Like I said, its my 2 cents. But, whatever you decide, just make sure you both agree with the decision. Nothing like having a spouse go along with something, but secretly resent it. If you have been married almost 10 years, then you should know if DH is just giving in to your wishes, or really does agree with taking the children. Good Luck and have fun whatever you decide.

 

[megthewonderful]

I'm definitely in the minority here, but we will be married for 10 years next June and we are already planning a trip to Disney with our kids. We can't wait to take them with us! We are going to splurge a lot more on the upcoming trip than others...more table service restaurants, nicer accommodations, and a 10 day or longer vacation. Our kids are only going to young once and we don't want to miss a minute of it!

It's a tough decision to make. Either way, congrats on your upcoming anniversary and enjoy your vacation!

 

[mickeynut1]

I'm in the minority as well and would take my kids . We have always taken our kids with us on vacation and we have been married 17 years . DH & I both feel that they are only young for so long and even as they grow up and become teens (like our two DSs), time is still precious with them . I do realize that couple time is important too, but we will have alot of time for the two of us once the kids are grown and on their own. Good luck with your decision and congrats on your upcoming anniversary .

 

[lisajl]

As my MIL once said, "I take the kids with us..they are part of the marriage."
I am miserable if I am without my kids, and they are older.
Our DD-23, DS-15 and DS-12. We take them everywhere with us.
The two times we did not, NOT GOOD! I was miserable.
We are celebrating our 25th anniversary at WDW and yes, our kids are going with us.
To each his own, I feel better having our kids with us.

Lisa

 

[TamaraQT]

Keep your disney plans in place with the sitter and the kids. Maybe do a little weekend getaway with just you and DH either before or after WDW. Your DH loves the kids just as much as you, but there must be a reason he wants you alone to himself. Just the idea that he even suggested it, warrants consideration. Just as the OP said, kids are part of the marriage, but lets not forget there was a marriage BEFORE kids. Maybe your husband wants to know the woman he married is still there. The same one he fell in love with BEFORE the kids came along. Which I think is very romantic. He is asking to spend time alone with HIS WIFE who is also the mother of his children. Take it as a compliment. I think it's wonderful that he still can see both sides of you. Some men find it hard to see both after a while. I think its wonderful that he still does. I think you should really think about it and hopefully you will reach a decision that both you and DH agree upon.

 

[footballmouse]

I vote to go w/the kids. I agree about keeping the babysitter idea. That way you & your dh could go to dinner by yourselves and have a date night a few times that week. There's no way I would go to WDW without my kids. I would feel way too guilty knowing they would love to be there too. My dh & I used to take a long weekend away w/out the kids. That was enough and I knew they wouldn't really want to have gone to that particular place anyway.