A tacky theme for a bridal shower?

[jen0610]

DH was stationed in a different state when we got married, and NEVER did it or would it have crossed my mind to ask for gift certificates. The majority of the store that I was registered at, were not located in NY where we lived at. The only store in the town we were stationed at was Wal-Mart and let me tell you, I really would not have wanted to get a whole bunch of Wal-Mart gift cards.

The shower is taking place in the brides hometown, I take it. If she and FMIL are worried about getting them to the duty station, don't. The Army, AF, Marine, Navy, Coast Guards, what ever branch he is in, will have to pay to have the enlisted MARRIED soldiers personal belongings moved to the current duty station. So all the lovely gifts they get and any home furnishings they have, will be moved for them. So if they are going to furnish their quaters with furniture stored at his parents house and items at her parents house, these items will need to be consoludated to 1 house, they will not pickup at 2 different locations, only 1 home. Can you tell, been there, done that?

 

[Mickey Fliers]

Very tacky!! And take it from this Navy Wife, the military will move it all!!!

 

[Disney Doll]

Tacky. If your family wants to do it the word of mouth way, that's OK, but to dictate what people should give as a gift is tacky.

Tell your Mom if anyone calls asking what FSIL wants to say "well, they need so much and will be so far away that we were going to give her gift cards to such and such store, which is close to where she will be living".

 

[redshoes]

My brother is in the Air Force. He is currently stationed back East. My FSIL is from here (Utah) and they will be getting married here. This is where it gets a little complicated, he is scheduled for a transfer in June. My understanding(I'm not at all an expert concerning this so I could be totally wrong) is that if they were to have chosen June for their wedding, the AF would have moved her belongings and his to their new location. But since they have chosen to get married in April they are on their own concerning her belongings. He has gotten leave for three weeks and they leaving for their honeymoon from here and then packing up her car and driving to NJ to move into his apartment. My brother has never done things easy .

 

[mickeyboat]

My brother is in the Air Force. He is currently stationed back East. My FSIL is from here (Utah) and they will be getting married here. This is where it gets a little complicated, he is scheduled for a transfer in June. My understanding(I'm not at all an expert concerning this so I could be totally wrong) is that if they were to have chosen June for their wedding, the AF would have moved her belongings and his to their new location. But since they have chosen to get married in April they are on their own concerning her belongings. He has gotten leave for three weeks and they leaving for their honeymoon from here and then packing up her car and driving to NJ to move into his apartment. My brother has never done things easy .

Your mom can get them a gift certificate to Mailboxes, Etc. or the UPS Store to package and ship the gifts to the new location. There, solved the whole problem.

We were married in VT, 2 months before I went to law school in NC. I would never have dreamed of asking for gift cards for transportation convenience.

Denae

 

[DisneyGirl4188]

I understand wanting to make it easier for the couple, but I don't like the idea of putting the gift request in the invitation. I do think it would be ok to tell everyone attending what the situation is and possibly hinting that gift cards would be easier.

That being said, I think it depends on the family. No one in my family would mind having that put in the invitations. However, not everyone feels that way and some could be insulted.

I just asked my mom her opinion and she said she thinks it's a good idea to ask for gift cards. She said years ago it might have been tacky, but now it's fine.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

I agree with the majority. When asked for money or a GC for any occasion, I can't help but think the recepient thinks they're too good for what I may pick out. That's kind of absurd, because I have expensive taste for everyone but myself. Some people are brand snobs, etc. though, & my brand may not be good enough for them.

As DisneyGirl4188 mentioned, our immediate family is the exception. We're very close, & our sister's are given a green light to call & specify exactly what our nieces/ nephews want. In our family, this is where the big ticket items come from & people usually want to choose those for themselves. We also know the nieces & nephews will be given money on their wedding day. Noone is offended by it, that's just the way we do things.

 

[rt2dz]

TACKY, TACKY, TACKY, TACKY!!!

If these people are close enough to them to be invited to the shower, then they are close enough to know they are moving across country and will surely keep that in mind.

The point of showers is to get gifts--help the couple set up house, as a pp said, but I just think that is in a totally different class. I mail gift cards to my neices and nephew, I give gifts. I just don't understand the point of the shower in this situation, why not just send out gift request cards?

Sorry, but TACKY.

 

[skuttle]

Tacky! I've actually never been to a themed bridal shower. I have been to themed couples showers.

 

[marycaym]

I actually attended a shower where the couple where in a similar situation they got married in NJ but were moving to San Francisco for his job and he was not getting a relo package so they would have had to move everything on their own. They registered at numerous stores: bed, bath & beyond, linens n things, crate and barrel, target, pottery barn, home depot, macys, etc. They chose 1 or 2 items (most were small, can opener, towel or 2) for their registry & then chose chose gift cards in numerous denominations, OK people got the hint that they just wanted gift cards. She did get quite alot gift cards, I was very surprised. People made comments at the shower, such as, I might as well just get them what they want since they will either probably not use it or take it back, others did not know of the move and once they were made aware it, agreed that gift cards made sense.

Although, it would be tacky to list gift cards in the invitation, if she actually registers for them and then you enclose the store cards that she gets with her registry, in the invitation, you have washed your hands off it, she registered for the cards not you. Once people know the situation, you may be surprised what the reaction is.

 

[Mumbler]

I have to go with tacky on this one. I really don't even consider gift cards a gift, it's more like an exchange of money.
The whole idea of a gift is that you thought about a person (or in this case a couple) and found a particular thing that you thought they would really like to have. That's what a gift is. Not basically handing over money and saying go get it yourself.
I personally think people are selfish to ask for gift cards, you take the pleasure of gift giving out of the equation.
That being said, I would definitely spread the word that your brother can't think ahead very well and that the moving thing is going to be an issue, so gift cards may be a good idea.

 

[leighe]

Very tacky. Word of mouth is one thing (if someone invited to the shower asks) but actually requesting gift cards in the invitation is quite another.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

So do tell us????

What wonderful gift card is your mother planning on giving????
How about the family?

Cash would be a better idea than gift cards anyway. They are moving and who knows what stores she will be around.

 

[poohandwendy]

So do tell us????

What wonderful gift card is your mother planning on giving????
How about the family?

Cash would be a better idea than gift cards anyway. They are moving and who knows what stores she will be around.

LOL< true.

It's basically saying

"Look, I don't want YOU to pick things out for me, cause we might have to actually move the crap from a to b. So, I want you to go out of your way to get me a gift card somewhere nice...but don't give me cash (which would be much more convenient to you), cause asking for cash would just seem so vulgar."

 

[DawnCt1]

This is what I told my Mom. No reason to hold a shower if the bride is just going to open cards. I told her that we might has well include a self-addressed stamped envelope with the invite and a due date for when the card should be returned. Needless to say this comment was not well received.

Include the thank you notes at the same time to save on postage. If you feel you must "feed" the guests, include some of those McDonald's gift certificates than everyone invited can get what they want. Yup, definately tacky!

 

[redshoes]

So do tell us????

What wonderful gift card is your mother planning on giving????
How about the family?

Cash would be a better idea than gift cards anyway. They are moving and who knows what stores she will be around.

My Mom is giving the bride a Bed Bath and Beyond gift card (here's another kicker, the bride registered at BBandB and Target- their registeries are 7 and 8 pages long. They are FULL of items that dont include gift cards . If you want gift cards, dont register for a ton of items. It just confuses the rest of us).

I have already purchased a Cinderella toaster and a few other kitchen items from her registery for her and guess what- I dont care that's what she's getting from the "hostess" of the gift card shower. At my own shower (years ago) I was thrilled that people thought of me enough to take the time to shop for me, was every gift perfect nope- but the thought was there. At this point I'm just happy that I only have one sibling and this is my only chance to
deal with this "stuff"

Thank you for everyone's time and opinions. At least I know that I'm not totally crazy.

 

[MsLeFever]

Include the thank you notes at the same time to save on postage. If you feel you must "feed" the guests, include some of those McDonald's gift certificates than everyone invited can get what they want. Yup, definately tacky!

Dawn - I know you are joking but I attended a baby shower where there was a generic "thank you" at every table setting - and that is the ONLY thank you that was sent!

so tacky.

Barbara

 

[goodeats]

I would not put that on the invitation, I would be too embarrassed. I guess I'd just tell my Mom point blank, either I make the invitations the non-tacky way, or YOU can make them.

The bride *could* return the gifts where the shower is, get store credit, and then re-purchase them once she moves. That could be a way to get around this issue.

 

[MouseWorshipin]

It is considered rude to tell people what they should give you.

You are supposed to be delighted that kind people thought enough of you to take the time and spend the money to buy you something with which to start out your married life.

You aren't supposed to say, "Here's what I want - go get it for me."

 

[arminnie]

why even have a shower if it's not for the gifts.

You know you CAN give a party for the prospective bride and groom without it being a shower. Don't give a shower - just give a luncheon or dinner party in honor of the bride (and groom if coed).

That's what I've seen done many, many times. Often so many people want to "honor" the bride and groom, but the bride and groom are wise enough not to have a dozen showers especially if they don't need anything.

I don't think this is just a regional thing either - I've been invited to these "non-shower" parties in New York, San Francisco, Dallas, and some other cities.