A Sensible Dinner - Pearlieq's Journal

[pearlieq]

Just checking in after a very long absence...

Things are going OK. I'm back to my starting weight (isn't that the oldest story in the book... ) but mercifully it hasn't gone beyond that. It seems like this my "unhealthy living" set point. Not great, but I'm glad it at least hasn't been going up, up, and up!

My mom is doing OK. We seem to be going through kind of a lull right now where the cancer is stable and she's getting by about as well can be expected, given the situation. We actually took her on her first trip to WDW this December. We took it really, really slow and didn't actually do much, but it was still so nice to be there with her and I'm hoping maybe we can pull it off again next spring.

DH is doing well. He seems to be dealing with the loss of his mom pretty well. I think it helps that his dad is doing quite well also. He still works long hours, but we're enjoying ourselves.

Things finally calmed down for us enough this fall to start seriously working on baby plans again. I met with a doctor here who did all the basic tests. DH checked out fine, but I'm not as good. I have one good tube, and one that looks suspect. I had surgery to remove a cyst when I was 13 and that side now looks odd. It may be blocked/damaged or it may be OK. They can't tell without doing surgery. Uhh, no thanks...

Beyond that, though, my fasting insulin levels were twice as high as they should have been, even with me taking my medicine. That's a big problem since my cycle totally isn't working.

So, with that news, DH and I decided to take a time out to figure out what we really want. I need to get healthy regardless, but it's absolutley essential if we're going to decide to go ahead with kids. We've got mixed feelings. On the one hand we both want to carry on our family and give our parents grandkids, but if it were just up to us, I acutally think we'd pass. We really enjoy our life now and can't help but thinking "If it ain't broke..." So, we'll see.

All in all, things are going well for the moment and I hope that's the case for everyone else!

Good wishes to all!!

 

[Lesli54]

Good morning, Pearlieq!

You have been missed so much and it is wonderful to hear from you. I have often thought about you and your DH with your plate full of challenges. It is good to hear that you guys are on the upside of things at the moment. I know you were worried about the trip to WDW with your mom, so I am so glad that it worked out well for all of you. As for the baby news, I think whatever the two of you decide should be fine with the families, although I know it is sometimes hard for family not to meddle.

Don't worry about being back to square one, like you said, at least the weight isn't higher. I to am almost back to the beginning and I am trying to get back in the right frame of mind (not the fatalistic one that says it is over). Remember that we are here to support each other every step of the way.

I was thinking of you when I was up your way last weekend. DD20, my mom, and I did a little window shopping to get DD20's mind off the NIU incident.

I will check back later. You will find that I have started a new journal since you have been gone, so stop by and see me.

 

[pearlieq]

2/23/08

9:00am

--1 light yogurt (white chocolate strawberry - yum!)
--about a cup of homemade snack mix--Cheerios, Craisins, and cashews

Normal Saturday routine at my mom's. I needed to make a point to eat breakfast this morning since I'm donating blood this afternoon.

Things went well at mom's. I've struggled a lot with adapting to my new caregiving role, and though nothing's perfect, things are a lot better now. We've got a routine and we communicate better. Also, it's been a huge blessing that her roommate chose to stop smoking. It makes life so much nicer!

11:30am

--another handful of snack mix

1:00pm

--2 sm cans apple juice
--1 Little Debbie brownie (yum!)

Snack after donating blood. It's one of those times I don't worry too much about what snack I choose. I did enjoy the brownie--I've always loved those things.

4:00pm

--1 spinach artichoke chicken Lean Pocket
--1 cup cottage cheese
--1 bunch green grapes
--1 sm handful baby carrots

Blast! The neighbor girl just came to the door selling Girl Scout cookies. I couldn't really say no, so now I'm the proud owner of a box of Thin Mints and a box of All Arounds. At least it's only 2 boxes, right?

I'm not super hungry but I wanted to get some real food on my stomach sooner rather than later. DH is working today, so I know we won't be having dinner until almost 8pm. We're having Thanksgiving dinner tonight--turkey & gravy, cornbread stuffing, and green bean casserole. I'm looking forward to it!

8:30pm

--1/2 piece lasagna
--3/4 large piece garlic cheese bread
--1/2 piece plain garlic bread
--1 can coke
--assorted cookies, grapes, small munchies

Dinner wound up being a bust--I had cooked the turkey in the crockpot a couple of days ago, and when I went to slice it up to reheat today it was pink inside. I wasn't sure if that meant it was undercooked or if it was supposed to be that way, but I didn't want to risk it since it had already been in the fridge for a couple of days. So, down the disposal it went. I was bummed to waste it, but better than some awful illness, of course.

We ordered takeout from a local place instead. It was tasty, but I waited too long to order it and wound up with a lot of mindless munching. Not so great...

 

[Lesli54]

Good morning, Pearlieq!

Looks like you had a full day and a pretty decent one at that. You did great on food. As for the Girl Scout cookies, they are only once a year and at least you kept the number of boxes to a minimum. You could always freeze them and just take a few out here and there as a treat so that you are not tempted to eat them all at once. We have cookies coming in next week. Just imagine, I ordered too many boxes for my family AND I will have about 7 extra cases sitting around for my girl scouts that will sell extras over the next month.

I am so glad that you have worked things out with your mother and that the roommate quite smoking. It is a lot of stress taking care of family but at least it sounds like you guys have gotten rid of the extras stressors in order to make things easier on everyone. I personally haven't needed to do what you are doing, but DH has (we barely saw him) and my mom (her mom and now her sister to a small degree) has so I am sending you strength and support.

Keep up the good work and remember everything in moderation.

 

[pearlieq]

2/24/08

11:00am

--1/2 piece leftover lasagna
--leftover bread w/butter on half of it
--1 coke

DH likes to sleep in on Sunday mornings, and I'm usually up by 8ish whether I want to be or not. It makes meal planning awkward as I try to hold out for him to wake up, but inevitably wind up giving in and having breakfast half an hour before he finally wanders downstairs. Today was no exception.

4:00pm

--1/2 order hummus w/flatbread
--1 Thai chicken pizza
--1 piece sourdough w/1pkt butter

I had to get out of the house--I was going stir-crazy! We had a gift card for a local theater, so we went and saw a movie. I saw 27 Dresses, which was light and pleasant. DH saw Vantage Point, which he seemed to enjoy. Also, I didn't get any snacks during the movie, which is pretty good for me.

Afterwards we walked over to California Pizza Kitchen. The food was good, but I meant to take half the pizza home. I was cutting into to pieces to box up and I just kept munching at it instead of stopping. I'm not sure what possesed me to do that--I was almost treating myself like a human garbage disposal, eating to get rid of it instead of enjoying it.

5:30pm

--3 iced animal cookies

DH and I stopped at the store to get some appetizers to watch during the Oscars tonight. We always enjoy watching it together--we print off ballots online and choose who we think will win before she show. It's just a little tradition of ours.

I don't think I'm going to get through tonight without overating, but maybe I can find a way to make some sensible choices. I think my goal will be limiting myself to one dessert, even though I have 3 in the house (cheesecake leftover from last night, a german chocolate brownie I picked up, and cookies). I know there are a million other things I could do to reform, but let me just start with one goal.

8:30pm

--part of a piece of cheesecake
--german chocolate brownie
--2/3 cups frosted animal cookies
--2 potato skins
--3 pigs in a blanket
--1 cup green bean casserole

The cheesecake wound up being pretty bad--the crust tasted of shortening, and the actual cake was very creamy but flavorless. So I moved on to the brownie, which was much better. I had much less in appetizers than I had planned, but I did slip and have cookies. So, a mixed bag for the night.

 

[Lesli54]

Good morning, Pearlieq!

I hope you guys enjoyed watching the Oscars. Also, I think that starting with one goal at a time is at least a beginning. My problems sometimes is that I have too many goals in too short of a time. BTW, I glad that you enjoyed "27 Dresses". DD18 and I want to go see it real soon.

Hope your day is a good one and snow free. We are looking at freezing rain in the next hour with lots of snow after that.

 

[pearlieq]

2/25/08

9:00

--1 sugar free popsicle

I need to get a proper breakfast going, but I'm just not in the mood. I've been struggling with really bad heartburn over the last few days and I'm nervous about making it flare up again.

To be honest, I don't feel really committed to weight loss. Isn't that strange? I feel unhealthy, and I'm interested in addressing that. I'm also looking forward to our WDW trip at the end of April and I don't want to be physically limited for that. But I just don't feel the same motivation I've felt in the past about shedding weight. I think I'm starting to take a longer view instead of focusing on the scale.

I got rid of the frosted animal cookies and the All-Around cookies. Neither was very good, to be honest, and it just seemed better to remove the temptation, especially because they aren't really worth the calories.

11:00am

--1 cup cottage cheese
--1 large handful grapes
--1 handful All-Bran crackers

I finally got hungry and got this for brunch. I'll need to find something for a late lunch I'm sure.

4:00pm

--PB&J on wheat
--1 apple
--1 large handful baby carrots
--1 light yogurt
--1 T or so walnuts

I don't like walnuts. Should I choke them down because they're "good for me"? I don't know what I think about that.

This hearburn is killing me! I made a doctor appointment tomorrow to see about it--I'm worried about esophogeal damage. It's also mighty uncomfortable--I've been feeling like I've got something stuck in my throat since Friday night. Not fun! I've been trying to look up what foods are OK for heartburn and what makes it worse. I'm planning on ham, cornbread stuffing, and green bean casserole for dinner tonight. I hope that's OK!

6:15pm

--1 lean pocket
--2 sm pieces sf angel food cake with 1/2 cup sf cool whip

I'm hungry again. Time to get dinner going!

7:25pm

--1 1/2 ham steaks
--large helping cornbread stuffing
--large helping green bean casserole

I had just given up on DH being home for dinner and began fixing it myself when he called to say he was on his way home. Luckily I was able to reshuffle quickly and get us both served.

9:15pm

--4 thin mints

Just a little bit of dessert before bed. DH and I are having lots of fun watching old Psych episodes we stored up on the DVR. I really like that show--it's so funny, smart, and clever!

 

[toystoryduo]

Welcome Back, pearlieq!!! It's great to see you here again!

 

[goldcupmom]

Pearlie, I'm SO GLAD to see you back!!! I was thinking about you the other day when I booked DD & I on Amtrak to FL & thought of spending some hours in Chicago.

Focusing on the long term health rather than the weight is, I think, a good step. I think if we all felt healthy, looked healthy to ourselves, felt good & could do the things we want without the weight limitation, the scale wouldn't matter.

Congrats on ditching the cookies. I'm finally at the point that I can taste something & decide it's just not worth the calories & get rid of it. It's a good feeling.

What is Hummus? I keep seeing you mention it & I've seen it in stores, but I'm a bit intimidated about trying it.

Have a good week!!

 

[pearlieq]

What is Hummus? I keep seeing you mention it & I've seen it in stores, but I'm a bit intimidated about trying it.

So nice to see you too!

Hummus is mashed up chickpeas blended with spices (garlic, lemon, and other middle eastern spices) and a bit of oil (usually sesame oil). It's really tasty when done well.

If there is one by you, California Pizza Kitchen makes an incredible hummus. Trader Joe's hummus is also pretty good--it's more airy/mousse-like than creamy, but still tasty. The grocery store brands (Athenos and Cedar) are not bad, but not really hummus at it's best.

Give it a shot someday--it's tasty and quite good for you.

 

[pearlieq]

2/26/08

9:00am

--1 pkt weight control oatmeal
--2 mini boxes raisins
--1 light yogurt

Well, doesn't look like we got hit too awfully bad with the snow down by us. I'd say we've got about 3" or so. Trouble is, DH didn't clear it before he left for work today (nor did he clean the catbox) so I've either got to try to drive through it in the hopes that he might clear it later, or go out and try to wrestle with the snowblower myself. I know he's got a really trying week at work, but how much is he honestly asked to do around the house? Why should I have to work full time, and take care of the inside chores, and cover his slack when he doesn't do his chores? Sorry. Rant over.

I do not recommend the Light & Fit Thick and Creamy Strawberry yogurt. It really has no flavor other than "tart". Honestly, if you blindfolded me I couldn't tell you what flavor this was supposed to be.

On a happier note, the heartburn/throat problem feels better this morning, and I'm actually kind of looking forward to my physical this afternoon. It's nice to cross that chore off my list. I'm always a little nervous about meeting a new doctor, but my mom sees him too and she likes him quite well, so I'm sure it will be fine.

12:00pm

--2 philly cheese Lean Pockets
--large handful grapes
--handful baby carrots

The sun is out! It's so nice to see. I think the snow mostly went North in our area. I saw a lot of people at my work who live up North are working from home today.

I've been watching yesterday's Intervention episodes this morning. I am so hooked on that show. Uhh, wait. Let me rephrase that...

I just think it's an awesome show. It's fascinating and very eye-opening. I think it should be mandatory viewing for every teenager. No better way to see the true ugliness of what drugs/addictions do to people.

4:30pm

--1 ham steak
--1 helping (~3/4 cup) green bean casserole
--about 3/4 cup cottage cheese
--1 mini bag movie theater butter popcorn

Dinner is likely to be quite late tonight with DH's crazy schedule, so I'm eating a big meal here in the hopes that it will hold me until then.

The doctor appointment went really well. I really liked the doctor a lot--he was kind, patient, and very informative. I'm glad to be settled now with a new GP and I was able to get some refills on perscriptions I was needing. So, a good afternoon.

8:15pm

--1 Wendy's double cheeseburger
--1/2 sour cream & chive baked potato

As predicted, DH is home late. I had a mad craving for Wendy's, so this was the compromise verdict. Hopefully it's not too much and doesn't set off the heartburn again.

9:50pm

--1 smallish piece sf angel food cake with a healthy dollop of sf cool whip

Just a little something to satisfy the sweet tooth before I go to bed...

11:10

--1 small pkt Teddy Grahams
--1 cup milk

I guess I didn't eat enough, because hunger pangs were keeping me awake after I tried to go to bed. I've leared my lesson, though, and went and got a snack. I was out less than 10 minutes later!

 

[Lesli54]

Well, you were right, the snow wasn't as bad as it could have been, but I do miss the sun!

You mentioned not being in the mind set to focus on actual weight loss and I think that is ok right now because your main goal is to get healthier. The weight loss will come as you change to better meals and more activity in order to be healthier. Take it one step, one goal at a time. Concentrate on just eating better quality food and getting your insulin levels back in line, that alone will go a long way in your quest for a healthier you. It is truly too much sometimes to think about ALL the things that we need to do in order to be fit and healthy, so break it down and conquer one thing at a time.

Glad to hear the heartburn is subsiding. When I had problems before, I noticed it was more persistent when I weigh more and when I just eat myself into a food coma. Hopefully, your problems are a simple fix that lifestyle changes could correct and that you don't have to rely on meds or other medical treatments. Good luck at the doc!

 

[pearlieq]

2/27/08

8:15am

--1 pkt weight control oatmeal
--1 mini boxes raisins
--1 Yo-Kids yogurt cup

This is shaping up to be a nice day, I've decided. The sun is out, I feel good, and it doesn't (knock on wood) look like it's going to be a terribly busy rest of the week, work-wise. The trick, then, will be actually doing something with my day instead of spending it on the couch with my laptop!

The only thing that's got me a little bummed today is that it would be a great day to go out to lunch with a friend, but I can't think of anyone. We're already having Sunday brunch with my one girlfriend this week, and having lunch just a couple of days before seems like too much.

Unfortunately, things are not right with my other lunch buddy. We've always had kind of a difficult friendship--she's very opinionated and tactless, and also has a snobbish and self-centered streak as well. While I'm writing this, I'm wondering why I was ever friends with her. But there is good in her. She can be fun company and deep down I think she's a good person.

Anyway, they decided to go away on an anniversary vacation and asked us to watch their kids for the 10 days they were going to be gone. We agreed and took in the kids. It was a major disruption of our life, and very hard work because their 8 year old has some behavioral issues and can be difficult. But, we put our best effort into it and had a pretty successful week.

Their parents came home on a Saturday night (after calling on their way home from the airport to ask us to pack up the kids and all their junk and bring them back to their house at 10pm. Nice.) and aside from a brief stop I made over their the next day to drop off some forgotten stuff, I haven't heard a word from them in the past 2 weeks.

What's really frosting my buns is that when we agreed to this the mom said she'd provide money to cover the kids expenses for the week. But alas, no. She didn't send over any money when she dropped the kids off, nor did she offer any when we brought them home. Who on Earth thinks it's appropriate to ask friends to not only watch your kids for 10 days, but to foot the bill for all of their food, entertainment, etc?

She did send some Valentine's Day cards over while they were gone which had $100 worth of gift cards in them for DH and I. But other than that, nada. That doesn't even begin to cover groceries, activities, gas, utilities, and the time I had to take off work (unpaid) to watch them after school. Even if she surfaces over the next couple of weeks and turns up with a check I still couldn't help but be appalled. I asked another friend about it (she doesn't know any of the parties--I wasn't trying to start neighborhood gossip, I just needed to make sure I wasn't out of line) and as she put it, "this is the kind of thing people end friendships over". And I agree with her. I just feel so used.

So, since the rest of my friends work during the day, no lunch buddy for me. I guess I'll have to take myself out...

11:15am

--1 ham steak
--1 portion green bean casserole
--1/2 baked potato
--1/2 pkt rf sour cream
--1 oz cheddar jack cheese
--1 large spoonful salsa
--1 cup milk

Early breakfast, early lunch. I think I'll read for a little while, go tackle some laundry, then maybe go out later this afternoon for Panera and a visit to the library. It still looks like a lovely day. I think DH is going to be late again, so scheduling dinner is going to be tricky.

2:30pm

--1 string cheese
--1 apple

I went to look at a nearby gym this afternoon. It's only about 5 minutes from our house and they're open all day, every day. I liked the look of their facilities--it isn't huge or fancy, but it's clean, thoughtfully designed, and had all of the equipment I want. Plus, they offer a great discount to government workers. I'll have to talk to DH about it when he gets home.

3:45pm

--1 McD's Asian salad w/grilled chicken.

Do you ever get a little paranoid that folks you know read your journal without you knowing? In an odd coincidence, I was just getting home with my salad and found my friend whose kids we watched in my driveway. She was coming by to drop off souveniers that she had gotten for us, plus some cash for expenses. I'm somewhat mollified that she at least did that, but still irked at the delay. Something was a little "off" in the way she was behaving, though maybe she was just rushed between errands. The whole thing was very strange...

It's not that I don't stand by what I write here. There's nothing I say here that I wouldn't say face to face, though I suppose I don't choose my words as carefully here as I would standing right in front of someone. It just kind of freaks me out.

6:00pm

--4 thin mints
--1 mini bagel w/neufchatel

Somewhat hungry, mostly bored.

7:00pm

--the rest of the sleeve of Thin Mints

OK, this was definitely boredom. My schedule is all off because DH is working so late. I need to just start making my own dinners and letting him heat up a plate when he gets home.

I also need to find something to do with myself. It's so cold that going out is unappealing. I could do chores around the house, but how exciting is that. I don't need to do any shopping. I like the library, but once a week is usually enough. Maybe I should take another class or something? Maybe we'll sign up for this gym.

Funny thing is, I always assumed that having kids would be an automatic cure for the boredom. I was very shocked to find out it wasn't. I was just bored with 2 kids. That was definitely an eye-opener.

11:15pm

--1 Wendy's double cheeseburger
--1 small order fries
--2/3 small Frosty

OK, for the positives--I was quite hungry when I ate this. It was a single meal--I've been known to eat more than that. Plus, I got rid of the Frosty when I lost interest in it.

On the downside, of course, I don't need to be eating fast food, and I sure don't need to be eating "dinner" at 11:15.

This wasn't a stellar day. It's not the worst I've ever had (by far), but sure not the best either.

 

[Lesli54]

Good morning, Pearlieq!

I am glad that you were able to find a Dr. whom you are comfortable with. That is always a big feat in itself.

If I was closer, we could be lunch buddies. It is too bad that you are dealing with the questionable intents of a friendship. I have to agree, it is wrong to leave your kids with someone and not take care of the expenses especially for such a long length of time. Your other friend is correct, this type of "taking advantage" of the friendship is what usually ruins friendships. My thoughts go out to you as you work through this.

Hope the rest of the day is a good one and you enjoy your lunch.

 

[pearlieq]

If I was closer, we could be lunch buddies.

What's a few hours between friends?

You're right--if we lived closer we would have a ball as lunch buddies!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Hi Pearlieq! First of all, I have been trying to get a bit acquainted with you and your journal. I am so sorry you lost your mil last May and that your mother is ill too. That's a lot to go through, hang in there. Being a caregiver is very exhausting, I know I was one to my mom for six and half years. So remember to take care of you through all of this.

That really, really bites that this friend left her kids with you for ten days and had the audacity to call you and tell you to pack them up and bring them to her house at 10:00 p.m. I have never had anyone watch my kids for that length of time, talk about a great way to ruin a friendship!

I too sometimes wonder who reads my journal. I came up with a dead giveaway for my screen name and know for a fact a family member and one friend have been on my journal. I thought about quitting my journal and starting a new one under a new name but then thought, why bother? If someobdy is that nosey to read my personal journal they must either care a lot or be pathetic. Still it feels weird I know!

Your food today looked very good. Is that salad at McD's any good? I saw that on a commerical and wondered. Keep up your hard work, and thanks for coming over to my journal. I always enjoy meeting a new friend!

 

[pearlieq]

Is that salad at McD's any good? I saw that on a commerical and wondered.

Thanks for stopping by!

The Asian salad at McD's is pretty darn good, especially for something coming from McD's. It's got tasty chicken, nice greens, and neat little extras like mandarin oranges, edamame (soybeans), and almond slices. It comes with a tasty sesame ginger dressing, and the whole big salad is just under 400 calories. I would definitely recommend trying it out.

They've got another really good salad--their Southwest Chicken salad is awesome!

 

[pearlieq]

2/28/08

9:00am

--1 mini bagel with neufchatel
--1 baked potato
--abt 1/2oz colby jack
--1 pkt rf sour cream
--1 big spoonful salsa

Wendy's accidentally sent fries with my meal last night, in addition to the baked potato I requested. I ate the fries last night, but that potato was calling my name this morning. I just love it with a bit of cheese, sour cream, and salsa. It's so tasty and filling.

I don't know how today is going to turn out. I've got a lot of empty time again, and DH's schedule is up in the air. He may be home early, he may get stuck late. We'll see...

10:40am

--3 Thin Mints

I thought I wanted to polish off the whole sleeve, but it turned out that 3 was enough. I'll take it!

3:40pm

--2 or 3 Thin Mints
--1 full bowl Honey Nut Cheerios w/milk
--1 can light peaches

I got super hungry, but I was feeling a little "off"--this was pretty easy to tolerate.

6:00pm

--2 no sugar added ice cream bars

Blue Bunny makes the BEST no sugar ice cream treats. I started getting them for DH a while back, but I regularly filch them for myself now. They are just awesome!

7:30pm

--most of a bowl French onion soup
--1/2 slim french demi baguette w/whipped butter
--1 barbecue chicken breast topped w/cheddar & bacon
--1/2 cup mashed potatoes
--3/4 cup mixed vegetables
--2 raspberry iced teas

DH found an old scratch off ticket in his wallet that one of his employees had given him for Christmas. It was good for a free ticket, so he turned it in and the ticket he got back was a winner! He won enough for a nice dinner out for the two of us. It was great to get out together.

9:15pm

--1 cup chocolate marshmallow ice cream
--1/4 cup hot fudge

We went for dessert after dinner at Oberweis. This was tasty, and I stopped when I had enough.

 

[Lesli54]

Good morning!

I think that taking a class would be a great idea for you. You strike me as someone who is always wanting to learn or try new things. If you don't find a class at the gym (which sound like a nice gym) then maybe you could take a hobby type of class. Maybe something like pottery, painting, computer graphics, or take up a new language, after all we are headed for very global lives. Even if the class is a few nights, that would help with the boredom. I wish that I could say that you wouldn't be bored with kids. They do keep you active and on your toes, so to speak, but there are still down times when it seems like the same old same old, but then I think that is just part of life.

Hopefully, you will have a good day today.

 

[toystoryduo]

I love Wendy's! It is my favorite fast food restaurant. I always feel "healthier" when I eat there vs. McDonalds or Taco Bell.

I'm sorry to hear about the situation with your friend. I'm glad to hear that she did get you some money though.

Hope you have a great day today!