A question for the ladies

[wenrob]

I can understand if she's uncomfortable with it though I guess I would wonder if something sparked it (not saying something actually happened but maybe she read a story or a person she knows or whatever) unless she's just never been alone for maintenance so it's making her anxious?

This. Maybe ask her what is making her anxious.

I *did* have something happen many years ago. Guy brushed my breasts as he passed me in the doorway while delivering cabinets. The problem is woman are trained to think maybe it was an accident or we’re making too big of a deal about something. This made me doubt my reaction and so I never said anything to my husband about it. It was only a couple of years ago that I told him about it when he was scheduling a parade of people to come in and out of my house all day.

OP I think you should take into consideration that your wife spoke up. She might have a reason, she might not but I don’t think you should blow it off as her being dramatic.

 

[sonnyjane]

It doesn’t matter how any other poster here feels. It matters how your wife feels.

I 100% think the wife has nothing to worry about and feel bad for people that live with that much fear... but I also 100% agree with JFDIS that what I think doesn’t matter! If the wife is going to be nervous the entire encounter, best to reschedule.

 

[kymom99]

Doesn’t bother me in the least.

My friend got all freaked out because a repair person asked to use her restroom. She thought that was just terrible and for some reason it scared her. My hvac guy uses my restroom every time he’s here. I know what it’s like to have to go. It’s a toilet. Wipe it off after if it makes you feel better. Nothing to get uptight about in my opinion.

 

[CookieandOatmeal]

I'm one of those ladies who is uncomfortable being alone at home when maintenance guys come to work on the house. I do have a golden who is super friendly but I know she will defend me if anything ever happens. I've expressed to my hubs after one incident where I was extremely uncomfortable that I would rather he be home for these types of things. Now he opts to work from home whenever we need maintenance done.

 

[DisneyHardin]

Doesn't bother me at all. I lived on my own about 7 years before I got married, so there wasn't a husband to be home when workers needed to come.

Now that I am married, I am generally the one home when people come. I am a teacher, so I try to schedule routine things on no school days so DH doesn't have to take time off to deal with them.

 

[design_mom]

I have done it and will do it again. Sometimes it can't be avoided. But if it can be scheduled for a time that he's home, I definitely prefer that. I too had an "uncomfortable situation" once with a worker. Nothing terrible happened, and maybe he was "just being friendly," but the result was that I was uncomfortable in my own home.

 

[Travel60]

Does your wife have a friend who could come over for coffee while the guy is there?

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

This. Maybe ask her what is making her anxious.

I *did* have something happen many years ago. Guy brushed my breasts as he passed me in the doorway while delivering cabinets. The problem is woman are trained to think maybe it was an accident or we’re making too big of a deal about something. This made me doubt my reaction and so I never said anything to my husband about it. It was only a couple of years ago that I told him about it when he was scheduling a parade of people to come in and out of my house all day.

OP I think you should take into consideration that your wife spoke up. She might have a reason, she might not but I don’t think you should blow it off as her being dramatic.

I'm 'liking' your post because you have good points though I'm not liking it for what happen. I do understand where you are coming from

 

[MrsCobraBubbles]

I am uncomfortable with it, but i put it down to being victimized in my past. Being alone with a man that I don't know VERY well makes me feel vulnerable and scared. I don't think it's an unreasonable fear for women to have, sexual aggression toward women is more common than you think. There's a reason we walk through the parking garage with our keys tucked into our fist like a weapon and never leave our drink unattended at a bar. I'm glad you are respecting her feelings and cancelling the appointment.

 

[ronandannette]

No issue for me at all but I also do this sort of thing for a living so it wouldn't cross my mind to be afraid. I run a team of Warranty Technicians. We try to be sensitive to people's feelings but ultimately it's up to the customer to make arrangements they're comfortable with. We have a very culturally diverse clientele and my guys have often showed up for appointments only to be turned away because only the wives are home and not permitted to be alone with men. Or they arrive and find no adults home, only children (usually teenagers). They absolutely will not enter a house in that circumstance. Both of these scenarios are huge wastes of our time.

OP - if your wife isn't comfortable with this, rescheduling is the best thing for everybody involved.

 

[disneychrista]

As a single woman I have no choice but to have maintenance & repair people come to my home when I am home alone.

 

[JLTraveling]

Doesn't bother me in the least. I used to be in the remodeling biz, and all the guys on one side of my family still are, so maybe I'm just more comfortable? But I have weird anxieties of my own, so who am I to judge someone else's?

 

[brockash]

I have never worried about this. As a military spouse whose husband is literally never home, I have to always be home to handle maintenance issues.

This is me as well, however I think it's a lot easier for me not to worry about it because I do it A LOT. If I didn't I'd probably feel more uncomfortable about it. I will also say OP that I think it's good that you rescheduled...if she's not comfortable and concerned about safety; a caring person - like you would respect that. You also have to remember that like it or not walking around alone as a man is very different than walking around as a female. Just because nothing dramatically tragic ever happened in her past doesn't mean there hasn't been plenty of times that she's been put in a vulnerable/inappropriate situation etc. I try to help my DH understand that walking around carefree etc. is not something most women feel or thei reality...at no fault of their own...there's just a difference.

 

[OrangeBirdGirl]

The way our jobs are, especially pre-COVID, I was the one with the flexibility to be home during the days for maintenance appoints. DH often travels for work as well so it's not uncommon I'm home alone. Never bothered me. We live in a relatively safe very small town, so my thought might be different I guess if a different area.

One night I got home around 8pm and there was a storm. Our sump pump was having issues where some piping was coming apart and water was spraying out as it discharged. I tried to get the pipes tightened back together and couldn't and I couldn't leave it like that all night. I called our local plumber's emergency line for service (the owners' cell). He said he'd walk me through on how to fix it and I said "I tried already and my husband is out of town and I just want this fixed tonight and I know it's going to be an uncharge for emergency service". In hindsight I likely shouldn't have said he wasn't home. We have used this plumbing company for various things over the years (during normal business hours) and only one guy would ever come out. That night 2 guys came out. I thought weird, but whatever. The next day it dawned on me, maybe since the owner knew I was alone he sent out 2 guys to protect the guys. That way I couldn't claim one tried to attack me? Makes me think that sometimes these people are just as leery showing up at someone's house as some might be to have them at their home.

 

[low-key]

I get nervous if a women repairmen cones to my house, I see the way they look at my butt

 

[AuntieMe3]

No problem for myself to have male workers come when DH isn't home. Like others have said my husband is gone alot for work, first military and now just his regular job, so things need to get done whether he is home or not. But, I would not schedule something if just DD22 was home without someone else here with her. It has come up and I've asked my dad, who lives on the same street to come over while they were here. If he wasn't available, we would've rescheduled when one of us could be there.

 

[FairestOfThemAll37]

I’m currently single also not straight so I obviously know first hand that women have vastly different experiences and worries then men but I’m not sure how I’d even function if I couldn’t do this on my own.

that said, once I’ve had a good experience with a specific technician be it plumbing, AC, etc I will request that same person as it’s much more comfortable. The downside is that the same poor guy has to keep fishing my hairballs out of the drain.

I always wonder if it’s because my house is always super clean lol but without fail every person who comes in to do work asks to use my bathroom

 

[JenBush]

I don't have a problem with it myself, but I understand having anxiety about it. Is it possible for her to have a friend over or FaceTime a friend while the maintenance person is there? Is there a trusted neighbor that would be able to pop in for a few minutes when the maintenance person is there?

 

[Pixie Dusted Snow]

As a young adult with my parents out of town and me home alone I had a man come to my door and tell me he was a friend of my dad and wanted to ask about going hunting on our land. I let him inside as I called my parents. Of course they didn't answer so we then had a 15 minute conversation until my dad called me back to say it was okay.

That same week I heard someone in the garage and was worried they were trying to do something to my dad's 1972 convertible. I ran went out the front door and around to the side door of the garage and went right in... It ended up being our handy man picking up a tool he had left.

Clearly I'm not afraid of a legitimate person from a reputable company with an appointed time to come maintain something in my house lol.

 

[Kittyblue]

It doesn't bother me to have service people over when I'm alone. If it did I'd never get any thing done LOL