A Question... Am I over-reacting here?

[Wishing on a star]

I can't get past the child being left at home alone....

If I had received such a phone call, I would have called 911, who would have responded with DCS backup immediately.

This is not just a difference of parenting styles....

This is illegal.
This is child endangerment.

 

[4nana]

These people could have a child and I could not.

Bless your heart. Sometimes life doesn't seem fair, does it?

 

[Wishing on a star]

I don't agree with 'observing'....

This child needs intervention NOW.

1. enough has already been observed!!!!
2. what somebody says they may have observed is not rock solid proof. it then becomes heresay.... non-provable....

The ideal situation is for DCS to have proof of what is going on.

OP: You don't happen to have a recording of that phone call where they stated that the child was left home alone????

I would be documenting everything... dates, time, etc...

 

[stitchntiggertoo]

Yes, he listened to Mom. Agreed not to do it again, and said he believed it was ok since Baby was sleeping and contained within a crib. They had a looooong talk about it. This is Bro's first child.

Ok besides feeling physically sick from what you said. Your statement above makes me sick too. I can't read any of the other posts on this. My first child is 9 months old-Both my husband had never been around an infant but we knew not to do what your brother and SIL did.

Please don't justify what your brother and SIL did. What they did is very wrong and yes an issue for Child and Youth.

I wish you the best of luck however. You are stuck in a hard hard place and I don't envy you. Please remember the baby is the most important in this situation and you have to do what is best for this little boy.

 

[kathie859]

I was hoping that this was a prank posting...I am astounded at the parents complete lack of common sense or nutruring abilities

OP--You must call CPS. It is the only thing that may help DB and DSIL get the obvious parenting education that they need. I would just do it and not talk about it to your parents--and hope that no "bad blood" develops between you and your brother and his wife. They will wonder who "turned them in" and, no doubt, be PO'd. But it must be done to protect this poor child.

 

[hedgehog2owl]

I AM a parent and #1

I can even comment on the other because I am too shocked. Yes you are correct in being horrified. At all of it.

 

[cheerful chickadee]

OMG I feel sick for this baby after reading your post. I'm speechless. I'd have to call CPS, not doing something would weigh too heavily on my mind. I'm sorry but leaving a child that age alone...ever, is crazy! That child is in danger with these two as parents, no offense as this is your brother but OMG I think I'd have taken that baby home with me and taken care of him properly. That poor baby. I'll be thinking of him and hoping nothing happens to him

 

[happygirl]

Alright, Mainly a vent here. Just need to get this week off my chest.

DH and I went to visit my parents this week and to see my Brother and SIL who were in town with my newly 1 yr old nephew. Now, I freely admit i don't have kids but my parents and I were more than taken aback at several things. My mother addresses the issues in one conversation with my brother, yet i feel compelled to get a general consensus about our feelings. Brother basically told us we are all being way too overprotective. Soooo... a couple incidents.

1) Baby Home alone: Nephew was napping last weekend when Bro and SIL decided to go to church. The leave nephew ALONE at the house, then call DH and I from their car to say "Just show up at the house before 5, he wakes up around then." We had not been asked to babysit, he called from the road to say the baby was alone and at that moment asked us to watch the kid. DH and I *flipped* and got to the house ASAP. Sure, baby was napping and OK.... but seriously, leaving a 1 yr old alone? Apparently Bro also left him napping alone later in the week to run errands with SIL, at which point my Mom had a long talk with Bro.

2) Allowing baby to crawl pretty much unsupervised around a pool and in a parking lot??? Bro and SIL set Baby G down on ground to crawl everywhere. At the parking lot I was picking him up from the street to not allow him to crawl there, of course nephew got upset and both parents admonished me to let him crawl in the parking lot, because he loves tires. At the pool they also set him down to crawl while they went to the hot tub. He crawls to the pool to play with water, and picked up bottle caps from the bushes to try to eat... Only myself and my father watching out for the kid.

My family and I don't mind watching nephew, we just wish they would TELL us when he needs to be watched. Instead they would just set him down to crawl or play anywhere, then expect other's to watch him.

3) We also got really sick of them ignoring him when he cried. Baby gets grumpy or upset. "Oh, he wants Auntie Duff! Oh he wants Grampa". Ummm. nooo. I have not seen Baby for 6 months, I am a virtual stranger to him. The child was reaching out for Momma, not ME. Yet SIL and my Bro refused to pick him and deal with him.

I just got frustrated when last night they again set him down to crawl at a party and did not bother to look at him for 4 hours. We tried to bring the baby back to both parents (like when he was hungry, or cranky) only to be told what a *perfect* opportunity this was for someone else to care for the little bundle of joy. I am not about to let my nephew suffer so of course I get the joy of feeding him dinner, consoling him when mom and dad let him tip over a tree, changing him into pajamas, and rocking him to sleep at a party.


I felt very put out by all this and felt like my brother and SIL were checking out as parents. Even when Baby G got a bump on his head at the party (see above mentioned tipped over decorative tree), Mom and dad were nowhere to be found. They had LEFT the party for a few minutes. He cried, i comforted him and dealt with him. I love him, but this is not MY responsibility.

I would not mind babysitting if they had come up to me earlier and asked me to. But instead they just dropped him on the ground at the party, talked about him having enough fun crawling, then didn't see him for 4-5 hours. Did not give him dinner when asked, or comfort him when he was grumpy. I told my brother i felt very put out by all of this, and was told I did not have to feed him or watch him at the party. That if he hurt himself "he would learn a lesson". That if i hadn't fed him, someone else would notice he was hungry and feed him. If he cried, then someone would pick him up and help him. Meanwhile I try to keep nephew from tipping others trees, and destroying wine bottles. GGrr, am i right to be angered by all this? Who the heck just does this crap? Are they THAT clueless? We tried to be direct and still they brushed the baby off.

It feels good to get that out.... Thanks for the venting session.

I think you need to get that baby out of there and ASAP before something happens to him.

 

[bedillamouse]

Wow as everyone has said...this is amazing. I too hope that they were "checking out" for vacation time but the problem with that theory is they left the baby at home napping..not once but twice that you know of. you can probably pretty much bet that this has happened before many times. Yes the SIL has help during the week but what happens during the night?...the weekend???

I want to send you big hugs because I would not want to be in your situation....it's your brother...I totally get it...but something has to be done because it's also your nephew. If this was anyone else...I mean anyone else...what would you do???

 

[bgirl29]

OMG I feel sick for this baby after reading your post. I'm speechless. I'd have to call CPS, not doing something would weigh too heavily on my mind. I'm sorry but leaving a child that age alone...ever, is crazy! That child is in danger with these two as parents, no offense as this is your brother but OMG I think I'd have taken that baby home with me and taken care of him properly. That poor baby. I'll be thinking of him and hoping nothing happens to him

I agree, I am sooo afraid for that baby. How does anyone not get that you cannot leave an infant home alone?????? I know this is your brother but something needs to be done before that baby is hurt or worse.

 

[saratogadreamin09]

Sadly there are some parents out there that are very relaxed way too relaxed

One time I was babysitting for a couple at my house, the couple came to pick up the baby and after putting all the babys stuff in the car they left without the baby finally when they got home they remembered they're baby


Some people just dont think bad things will happen

 

[Lanshark]

I'm speechless.

 

[quentina]

To be painfully honest... that sounds like a case for DSS. That's neglect, and that child is going to get hurt. If I were you, I would make an annonomous phone call to child welfare and have them investigated. I know it's family, but if something ever happened to that baby, could you live with yourself knowing what you've witnessed?

Ditto....My thoughts also!

 

[happygirl]

Op there are so many what If's to think about. You are in a rough place

 

[Liberty Belle]

These people could have a child and I could not.

 

[Inigo]

These people could have a child and I could not.

To me, one of the biggest injustices in the world is that worthless people seem to be able to reproduce willy-nilly, whereas some people who would make excellent parents have so much trouble getting pregnant.

 

[RN4Babies]

As a healthcare worker, you are probably classified as a mandatory reporter, and you are OBLIGATED to call CPS and report the neglect of your nephew, when he was left alone at home.

As the baby's aunt, you have an ethical obligation to protect your nephew and to be his advocate.

Do not wait for your parents to "check things out". Call CPS and let them sort things out.

 

[hentob]

If necessary, we will make whatever calls necessary.

It is very necessary. Now. This very minute

They left the baby alone to go to church? They leave the baby alone to run errands?

I hope that child is placed with a loving foster family. Not to be mean, but none of you are capable of giving that child proper care. Nobody has cared enough to report the parents.

This is sad.

 

[koima]

Agreed, I am horrified. As a mother, I am horrified. As the aunt of a neglected baby who was removed from his mother (my parents are now his legal guardians), I echo the sentiments of CALL CPS. Even with clear and blatant neglect, and multiple calls to CPS, it took MONTHS to get my nephew out of his mother's home. They really try to keep babies with their parents and will do a lot to educate parents on how to keep the baby safe, which is the primary goal, right?

Especially if you're a mandated reporter, there should be no delay in calling. I called about my nephew and although I gave my information, it was not given to my nephew's mother. CPS doesn't tell the parent who called.

 

[MoniqueU]

As a healthcare worker, you are probably classified as a mandatory reporter, and you are OBLIGATED to call CPS and report the neglect of your nephew, when he was left alone at home.

As the baby's aunt, you have an ethical obligation to protect your nephew and to be his advocate.

Do not wait for your parents to "check things out". Call CPS and let them sort things out.

I agree with this, this is not just a parent spanking a kid a little hard or angrily(not that that is good either). This is a downright immediate danger. So what if they have help, what do they do when help is gone? This is more then a case of just checking out on vacation and something that can be put off until your parents can check stuff out.This is a bonafide immediate and current danger to this child. As a medical professional if nothing else you really have no choice in the matter in my eyes.