You've had so many kind words for me when I've had difficulty with my training this year that I couldn't imagine not lending some words of encouragement when things aren't going so well for you. I also have an incredibly tough time finding the energy/motivation/toughness, or whatever you want to call it, that it takes to get these long training runs done. I don't know that I've ever really found the answer for why I continue to do this, outside of the realization that I liked things less when I wasn't.
Thank you.
I think it helps to be reminded that I am not the only one who has struggles like this!
A few weeks ago running the 5 mile Turkey Trot in Cleveland I was having all kinds of problems after about a mile and a half. I was huffing and puffing to keep up anything approaching the pace that I wanted to, and used to be able to, achieve. I had all the thoughts going through my head: how will I finish Dopey if I can't go 5 miles?, why do I keep doing this?, I hate running!, no seriously, I really @$)$)&$) hate running!, I'm just not meant to be a runner, etc. I had basically formulated my manifesto for closing my journal page when I realized I was only half a mile from the finish... and all the thoughts disappeared.
I have formulated that same manifesto quite a few times (and have posted it once or twice!).
And the Turkey Trot is hard. Something about that course is hard for me!
I guess the point is that this is tough and I'm sure there are going to be moments of doubt and annoyance over the next few weeks; but you are going to finish Dopey and it is going to be awesome. How you decide to move forward from there is a question that I'm sure you'll find the right answer to in due time. Thanks for all of the encouragement you've sent my way this year!
I know I can finish, I just hope my body lets me and that I enjoy it! Thank you for your post.
Enjoy your time away! Hopefully somewhere WARM...I do not think I could survive up there, I get miserable and cranky when the temps go below 40!
It was warm!! High 70s/low 80s!!
You are totally going to get through Dopey, 20 miler or not! I have done a total of 4 marathons - for 3 of them my longest run was 18. The last 10K is going to just suck no matter what...although at least in WDW they give you 2 parks in the last 10K which helps!
I have maxed out at 18 twice now - for this one and for my first one, so I know it's enough. Mostly I am just embarrassed, I guess, that I just gave up.
So true about that last 10K!! Anywhere else I think the last 10K would be a lot worse!
Bummer about the 20 miler, but I completely understand! 20 miles on a treadmill would be nearly impossible for me to do and training through the winter in general is just miserable. If you decide to try a non-Disney marathon again, definitely stick to a fall race!
Yeah, looking back...was there ever really a realistic chance I would do 20 miles on the treadmill?? Hahahahahaha...
Fall marathon - got it!! Good call on that one.
@Ariel484, I have been there and understand completely. My last marathon was 12 years ago, and I had a very similar experience during my training back then as you are having now. I no longer really cared about training, wasn't fully keeping to the plan, was dreading certain runs... I was DONE. The bottom line: it wasn't fun any more.
Yep, that sounds exactly like what is going on with me right now.
I would not recommend this, but my solution (after finishing the marathon of course) was to drop running completely for several years. I definitely got more sleep and had more time to spend with my growing family, but I also got out-of-shape, gained about 25-30 lbs, was much less energetic, and most worrisome, became less mentally astute. In fact, it seemed like I was just mentally trudging through life.
I'm not sure what I want to do after this. I'm signed up for GSC and PDC, so I'm hoping that significantly cutting back training will help me. Cutting back and adding something else in (more yoga, strength training, OrangeTheoryFitness or something?).
If I stop running altogether I will definitely put on weight...
So, after many years, I picked up running again, and it was painful at first. There were several starts and stops for a year or two, but when I would consistently run, I was in a much better place in life. I finally found my way back to regular training, but I just stayed with 5k and 10k races at first, and only a few races each year to keep me motivated. I have slowly made my way back to the half marathon distance and feel this to be a perfect distance for me... long enough to be an endurance event, but not too much training that it takes over my life. I still only register for a few races (mix of 5k, 10k, & half marathons) each year such that the schedule doesn't get overwhelming.
Needless to say, instead of completely cutting running from my life 12 years ago, I really wish I had just downsized my running to a point that created a good balance in my life.
I think this is ultimately what I am going to do for awhile. I really like 10K/10 mile/half marathons, so I am hoping that GSC/PDC training will be enough downsizing for me to actually enjoy running again, because I have thought about quitting quite a bit lately. Which...I don't REALLY think that is ultimately what I want to do, but I need to change something.
Sounds like you are coming to the same conclusion that marathon training takes too much out of your life/schedule/motivation/body wear/etc, so I agree with your thoughts of focusing on shorter races in the near term. You may decide to tackle a marathon again sometime in the distant future, but it will be on your terms and not until you are once again excited for it. After 12 years, I am just now considering another marathon, but I'm not rushing it and still haven't fully decided.
That is definitely what I am thinking. I had been planning on Dopey in 2018 for a couple of years, but at this point I don't think it's a good idea. It's just too much for me right now.
Thanks for your post. It's really helpful to hear that someone else has gone through this and has "come out on the other side" so to speak.
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Maybe I got bitten* by a radioactive butterfly, was encased in a cocoon and then emerged...BUTTERFLY WOMAN. 
)
he's been so great to me during these tough periods), etc. I feel I need to majorly change how I see myself, because I have been thinking of myself as being so sad and broken for months now...I need to see myself as someone that is happy and strong, and deserves to be happy and strong. If you can dream it, you can do it, right? 
Definitely say hi if you see me! 
