A Not So Funny Holiday Story

[tlgoblue]

Maybe the spirit was upon me. What could it hurt? Knowing how awful it must be to be so unwanted, unloved and generally despised, I felt bad and invited her in. We dined on potato chips, dip, salt cured smoked turkey, cheese and crackers, chocolate, champange, chips and salsa, margaritas, and fajitas. We laughed til it flew out our noses! We had a ball. Then I politely asked her to leave. She refused! Said she had too much fun with me. Said she liked having her way with me! Now my pants are tight, my tummy jiggles and I have imprints in my ankle where my socks ride! She must go! That Bloat Fairy. Today is the Day I push that Bloat Fairy outside! May she Wither and never darken my doorstep again, for I fear I will cave and invite her back inside.

UGH! Upon awakening today, I realized my body was not my own. My thighs are rubbing and my tummy is paunchy. So despite my better judgement, I made my way to the basement and weighed myself! It's ok, though. I am starting a new year with resolve, and am putting the holidays behind me. I am actually down a pound from last weigh in, but need to get back to basics. Looking forward to a yummy salad for lunch and lots and lots of water!

Keep the Faith!
Tracy

 

[DoeWDW]

First of all, Tracy, I LOVE your sense of humor. You really had me going at the beginning of your story!! Was it a long-lost friend, a family member.... !

Second of all, I'm glad you've sent the Bloat Fairy a message that she is no longer welcome and that she will be leaving! Good for you!!

Third of all, DO NOT send her toward my house!! In fact, I hope the Immigration service finds out she's an illegal alien and deports her to some other country!!

You'll be feeling much better in a few days, Tracy! Drink that water!!

 

[catherine]

Just so long as she isn't deported to the UK. I can do without the bloat fairy here!!

Tracy that was too funny! Enjoy your yummy salad. Good luck and PD to help you get back OP. Not that you'll need it. I know that you'll be great

 

[wovenwonder]

You had me going there for a minute Tracy! You always seem to say the right things to make me smile. Thanks for sharing your story.

 

[mowsie dreamer]

If there ever was a guest that knows how to wear out a welcome, it's the Bloat Fairy! Thanks for the chuckle, Tracy. And good for you, getting back OP!!

 

[maryliz]

LOL

I hope you are successful with getting rid of her, but please don't send her up here to Ontario. I'm having a hard enough time dealing with this darned snow and extremely cold weather Perhaps if you live in a cold part of the country, you could take her outside, and bury her in a snowbank, not to be seen again until after the spring thaw

I guess we should have made a deal with NASA to send her to Mars !!!

Congrats on starting again ... seems to be the common feeling these days.

Mary Liz

 

[KathyTX]

That stinkin' BF...

We need some sort of magic incantation to cast her out. Or maybe a poem.

BF, BF, go away.
Don't come back another day.

Nah. Not convincing enough. We'll have to ponder this.

 

[WeirdEyes]

Gosh, I think she showed up at my house when she left yours. Good news though, I kicked her out on Sunday!!!

Great story!!!!

 

[Hannosmom]

Tracy, that was too funny! I have those not so cute sock dimples too.

We don't need no stinkin' BF!!

 

[Robinrs]

I'm kicking her out this weekend....

 

[newholiday]

she slowly departed here over the wknd - took her a few days to get out cos she did it slowly but I can honestly say

I feel better with her gone!

 

[nativetxn]

You made me literally laugh out loud, Tracy.

I think we need to get the Whoosh Fairy to weight train so she could kick the BF's butt for us.

Here's hoping the Whoosh Fairy helps you bar the door now

 

[ADisneyMom]

Tracy,

That was truly a lol story. Keep them coming.


ADisneyMom

 

[tlgoblue]

I am trying to keep a sense of humor about this, and I know much of it is my own doing. Glad you all enjoyed my story!
I do so love making people laugh, even if it is at my own expense.

Keep the Faith!
Tracy