A Non-Disney *almost* Trip Report

[Eyore4Ever149]

We got up in the morning and Mom had decided to go horseback riding. Megan was up very early- I heard her, but didn't get up, I figured she was okay.
Mom asked Megan if she wanted to come with her since we were sleeping- so she came in our room, opened and closed 5 drawers looking for clothes, found some random stuff and then spoke to me saying they were taking her with them. I mumbled ok. (but inside was thinking how wonderful it was that she was going to do something with her grandparents)
Mom' then came back in the room- speaking to me, and saying she forgot, they don't have a car seat in their car and did I know how to take the one out of ours and put it in hers- quickly! I said no, I I didnt.
She quickly said than she was sorry she couldnt take Megan and left. At this point I was fully awake and so was Hannah.
. (this is the second time she did this to Megan)

I was so annoyed since it's so rare hannah sleeps past 6:30am. And now Megan was dressed in clothes I wouldnt have chosen, looking quite sad at being left behind.
I realize in rereading this, that while Dad's behavior change is obvious in how quiet and reserved he is, Mom's has changed in her ability to see level headed, she is emotional and more and more ditsy in some ways and when I think about it, I really can't blame her. I pray that she can somehow be more grounded, I noticed she brought her bible- but it was out on a bookshelf, not in a place near a chair or bed where she would read it. She hasnt really been a strong person growing up, and I pray that she finds a way to draw strength from the Lord as she walks this path with me Dad.

My parents told her my Father would come back and get her and take her to pick Grammy up. This did happen- but he was gone for several hours before returning and taking her. She thought he was coming right back.
In the meantime I had prepared a breakfast casserole that has to be made the night before and needed to bake that- my Mother felt it was such a hearty dish that we should invite my aunt and uncles for brunch.
DH came in while I was showering and said "your Father just came in and dropped off fruit and told me to tell you it was here" Apparently I also was expected to wash, cut and put together a fruit salad, set the table, etc.. for 7 adults and 1 child as well. Plus take care of a cranky baby and shower and be dressed before anyone arrived.

Which I did. Everything was ready. But guess who was late??? Yup, my Mother.

On a good note, My Father did take Megan with him and she got to sit on a horse Mom was riding.

On another good note, the casserole and salad were really yummy and everyone liked it.
My Uncle Glen and Aunt Lorriane and Uncle Paul drove their golf carts to get there and Megan Looooooved my Uncle Paul's corvette golf cart with candy apple red paint.

here are some pictures from the day.
My family

See how my Dad's posture seperates him from the rest of us?
(i have to add, I have another 35lbs to lose to get back to pre-pregnancy weight) Blech!

A photo of our fabulous rental minivan!

WooHoo! Sorry people are blocking the view- this van was so totally awesome as Crush would say!
Here is Megan checking out Uncle Paul's ride

here is Megan- totally lovin every moment she gets to be in this cart

Here is a great pic of Mom, her sister, Uncle Glen (her BIL) and her brother Paul- my other Uncle and his wife are the only siblings missing, she came from a family of 4 kids.


more pics to come

 

[Eyore4Ever149]

I loved having my aunt and uncles around, I so rarely see them. Just wish, since I seem to only see them every few years that I wasnt so "pooh sized" for photos. But, life is now, and there will be other pictures in the future. Right?!

The golf carts were really the highlight of the morning. My Aunt and Uncle were using one that came with the house they were renting. But it was really slow compared to my Uncle's- apparently he kept driving really far ahead, pulling off and hiding and then zipping up behind them and beeping his horn. It was fun to be around all the joshing and kidding- my Uncle Paul likes to say stuff with a straight face, and sometimes he means it, and sometimes he's having fun with you. Cracks me up.
They were all laughing about it and Uncle Glen was worried about Uncle Paul getting the jump on him when they left.

Aunt Lorriane and Uncle Glen (renting for the month, but live in Bangor ME)

Saying goodbye..

Uncle Paul looking very cool...(he had back surgery this year, so he looks a little puffy to me- he normally has this lovely jawbone definition)

Uncle Glen and Megan having a laugh about something

Uncle Paul still managed to get the jump on them and took off (they didnt know the way home so they were chasing after him)
Goodbye! We love you!

Here is a pic of my Dad- his spine is really curving now and he has a hump on his back he has lost almost 5 inches in height and he is soooo thin. He has no muscle.


After this I told Megan if she took a nap right away I would take her to the pool when she woke up. So she did...Hannah and Daddy fell asleep together and he couldn't be raised, Mom decided she wasnt interested in going and Dad finally agreed to come when he realized I didnt know how to get there by myself.
It was nice and quiet at the pool.

I have learned to pick up the camera whenever possible now

So rare to have pics of Mommy and Megan together...

Getting ready to go...

I like this one of my Dad..he's telling me about the book he's been reading- a new one that just came out about The Presidents and their Secret Service (My Aunt Gloria is in the SS and just retired last week after 30+ years of service)

After this we went back to the villa and got ready for dinner at Cody's.
Where we had a great meal.
I had prime rib and sweet potato with some sort of yummy butter. We finally figured out why Hannah was so cranky at meal times- she wanted to have food too- so I gave her tiny bits of roll to gum.
We were again with the whole gang, which was a pleasant surprise.
Dinner--
I have started a habit in with my husband and Megan of writing down what we are grateful for that day, so I decided even though I didnt have my journal to ask everyone to go around and say something- everyone happily obliged. dad said "He was happy to be here"
Aunt Lorraine said "Im happy your here too and I'm grateful the Lord Jesus Christ is my savior"
Uncle Paul said something political, followed by Tom (DH) saying how he was grateful politicians would try and repeal the bill (heathcare had just passed the day before) Megan said something about the rental minivan and Paul's goft cart I think. I cant remember Glen's or my Mother's.
It was a fun dinner.
Followed by a walk to a very crowded town square where a band was playing. There were kiosks set up of stuff for sale, characatures being done. I found some great silver polish!

Megan danced and danced and danced.
Paul and Mom got out and danced.
I took Hannah out and we danced.
I put Hannah on the ground to stand and dance with Megan.
This is all on video and my Mom's camera i guess. I thought I had some pics too, but I dont. DH reminded me my battery died.
Guess who showed up in the crowd to dance? Yup- Dad!!!
He was dancing with Mom and someone commented they didnt know how he was doing this without pain and he said he wasnt- it hurt!

We finally wrapped it up and headed back. It was a great last night.
I didnt have the kids out of the car seats and Dad was already in the villa and laying down. Then the next morning he was going to get his chemo and then the following day a blood transfusion and was hurting more than usual, so it was good we were leaving early, I figured it would give him some quiet, before my brother and his family arrived the following day.

We headed for the airport and sadly mourned that we didnt have time for one last trip over to WDW (actually DH pointed this out) It's hard not to think about it, since we saw several signs saying "Take THIS exit for DISNEY!"

Our flight was held up a bit, but we still got home in good time.
I do like this airport, Stewart that we used, so small and easy to get in and out of.
Will absolutely fly thru their again!

We ate McDonald's just before going home.

I have been trying to catch up on house cleaning, laundry and sleep since our return.

I briefly spoke to Mom last night and they were headed with my brother and his family to a town square for an evening of dancing last night.

i think over all, it was a nice trip. No fighting, no stress really, at least that was discussed openly- which it usually is in my family.
I commented I wish we had 1 more day and Dad chuckled and seemed pleased we had a nice time.
i really do feel like DTD was our best day with Dad.

He has changed and I don't know how much more he will change when I see him in a month. And what will he be like by Hannah's birthday? (May 22)
I really have no idea. I try to live in the present and not dwell on the future, which is the opposite of how I like to have my thoughts flow.
But in the present, Dad is with us, he's living life to the very fullest and best he can. He's dealing with it the best he can. He's alive.
In the future, it will be harder.
How will I deal with his loss, and that emptiness? How do I tell a 4yr old who adores her Grampy that we will no longer see him?
how will I deal with a Dad who I always struggled to get closer to, I always hoped that would change with the years. He's always been a little chauvanistic, very Type A, we have some personality traits in common and others we are like oil and water. I guess most parents might be like that at times.
I don't know what the future holds exactly, but I do know I am so glad my Mom gifted our plane tickets to us so that this trip might be possible.
I love my Mom and in many ways I am very close to her, and yet when we are together, we seem to always disagree. I find her judgmental and she thinks I'm stubborn. But, I feel for her as she goes through this with Dad. It must be hard for her too.

I will not have to live with regrets, because I went and we got to be with him for a little while when he was happy in Florida. I am SO grateful for that opportunity and all I can say is- I wish I had more pictures- I cant wait to see video!

But man, I know I will miss him, I will miss him SO MUCH!

Thanks for reading along.

 

[HeatherSue]

I forgot to take notes as I was reading, so I forgot a lot of things I wanted to say. But, that golf cart is the coolest thing ever! WOW!! Henry would love that!

You are beautiful! We are always hardest on ourselves about our weight. I know I never feel comfortable in my own skin. I am in much the same boat as you- I need to lose about 40lbs. All of this to say that it doesn't matter how much you need to lose- you look great now!

I'm so glad that you got your dad to Disney, in a roundabout way. Downtown Disney is such a fun place, I'm glad that he seemed to enjoy himself!

Oh- and we just watched Princess and the Frog last night- did anyone else think this was a bit scary?
After seeing her at DTD Megan could relate to who she was- but that pretty gown didnt show up til the very end and not for long.

Yes! I hated the voodoo stuff and the song about "friends from the other side" Creepy!! The rest of the movie was so cute. I don't know why they had to include that stuff.

I am enjoying your trip report. It is so great that you were able to visit your father.

My father passed away from prostate cancer in December after it had metastized to his spine. He too spent a lot of time resting because his bones hurt so badly and he was receiving chemo weekly. His personality changed too; he went from being very easy going to someone who was easily frustrated. I think that my mother bore the brunt of it because she was there and she was his caregiver.

We visited Disney World six years ago on a family trip with him and we just got back from a trip last week. It was somewhat sad to go back but it brought back some lovely memories. My dad was 6'4" and 250 lbs. and he looked utterly silly riding on the carousel but he did it for his granddaughter. Hopefully, you will have that kind of experience with your trip to DTD.

I am thinking of your family during this time. (((hugs)))

I'm so glad you have some precious memories of your father. But, I'm so sorry for your loss.


ETA:

Oops! I missed the last installment!

Your dad is still a handsome man, even being as sick as he is.

The picture of your dad and Megan at the pool is priceless!! I also love the picture of the two of you in the pool! One of my favorite pictures of Tessa and I is when we were in the pool together in Florida.

The dancing sounds like so much fun! What a special memory!

I love small airports! Our local airport is so easy to navigate. But, it's usualy so much more expensive than going to Detroit.

Your last few lines have me bawling like a baby.

 

[Eyore4Ever149]

HeatherSue,
I know we thought the cart was super cool too!!

He had the golfcart specially made- something you see a lot of, custom carts. The idea is people get a replica of the car they drive.
Uncle Paul has a huge motorcycle in red and gold and a corvette (I forget the name) but its a deep orange mixed with glittery stuff I guess. He has owned a vette for my whole life.
The golf cart goes faster than most- it has like 8 batteries under the seat, so i guess it will get up to 20+ mph. While the blue one will only do about 10- Paul tried to jimmy it so it would go faster- but than it was backfiring which Lorriane found embarassing. She said her seat was getting hot- so they switched it back!
Too Funny!

 

[Bertha12]

I have enjoyed your trip report. Thank you for sharing about this special (though undoubtedly painful) time. I work for an oncologist so we do see the ways that the patients sometimes change as the illness progresses, but it can't be compared with experiencing it in your family. I am so sorry. Again, thank you for sharing the stories. I am glad your girls were able to have this time with their grandfather.

 

[Eyore4Ever149]

I just wanted to add this final note, so this report can have closure for me. I will always cherish this and hope the DIS doesn't erase it. I need to print it out!

Mom and Dad returned home to CT just in time for Hannah's 1st Birthday May 22 2010

Dad grew more distant over the summer and continued to decline, staying focused on the tasks around the house he wanted done for my Mom.

Dad seemed to be holding his own though- going for a 15 mile bike ride in early august (although this might mean staying in bed and not talking the rest of the day LOL)
We went downhill very, very quickly in September, I drove the almost 2hours several times a week in order to help Mom take care of him and Tom worked from home to take care of kids so I could sometimes go on a weekday. It was hard being so far away.

We canceled our big October trip due to my Father's passing.
We lost him September 28th, 2010.
I'm so glad we go him to Disney, he loved Downtown Disney- surprisingly so, and DTD will always hold a special place in my heart because of that.

You are so missed Dad! See you in a while.

July 4 2010

 

[HeatherSue]

What a beautiful picture of your girls with your dad. I'm glad you have all of these pictures and these memories of your father.