A Million Questions About College

[DISNEY1975]

I have a DS leaving in 4 days. I still have so many questions.

1) His school offered a welcome basket for $75 filled with junk food. I opted out, but want to make my own. What kind of food other than granola bars can I put in that would be healthy, but last a long time (I dont want fruit flys in his room!)

2) I looked at his schedule and it seems he is taking all lectures??? There are no books listed for him to buy. Is this normal? Will I be hit with $1000 bill because the teachers will tell them on the first day they all need books?

3) Will a minivan load of "stuff" fit into dorm rooms? Should he only take necessities and see what he needs later, or should I bring everything and come home with 1/2 if it doesnt all fit? (He's about 1hr 15min away, I could go back if needed, but I want to try to make it a month before asking to visit!!)

4) Do parents visit if they live close by? (take him out to dinner and bring a care package)

Any answers /advice is appreciated.

Thanks

 

[MM27]

I have a DS leaving in 4 days. I still have so many questions.

1) His school offered a welcome basket for $75 filled with junk food. I opted out, but want to make my own. What kind of food other than granola bars can I put in that would be healthy, but last a long time (I dont want fruit flys in his room!)

2) I looked at his schedule and it seems he is taking all lectures??? There are no books listed for him to buy. Is this normal? Will I be hit with $1000 bill because the teachers will tell them on the first day they all need books?

3) Will a minivan load of "stuff" fit into dorm rooms? Should he only take necessities and see what he needs later, or should I bring everything and come home with 1/2 if it doesnt all fit? (He's about 1hr 15min away, I could go back if needed, but I want to try to make it a month before asking to visit!!)

4) Do parents visit if they live close by? (take him out to dinner and bring a care package)

Any answers /advice is appreciated.

Thanks

Don't spend that much money on a basket. Send him a care package every once in a while. Even though you are fairly close, I'm sure he'll appreciate getting those things you know he likes.

There will be books. I don't think I ever had a class, undergrad or grad school where there wasn't a book. The books may be on sale in the bookstore under the professor's section or the professor may just tell them the first day of class when they hand out the syllabus.

The stuff he really needs will fit in a dorm room. I think everyone overpacks freshman year. He can always bring things home over the break or if you do visit.

The visiting, I would let that be his call.

 

[monkey68]

Well I can answer based on my own college experiences, which wasn't that long ago (I graduated in 2006).

1. Other food, you can put in anything that's packaged. 100 calorie snack packs, pop-tarts (not exactly healthy), those pasta baskets that you just need to microwave, but don't need to refigerate, little cereal boxes, coffee, tons of things you can put in there.

2. He may need to go to the bookstore and find the books. My college had it set up where you go to the bookstore with your class list, and find the texts based on the course, and then the number, and then section number. You could find the list from the online bookstore, but don't expect to be given a list before school starts, unless you go to teh bookstore yourself. Alternatively, some classes I hear are now becoming "virtual", where there is no official text, the student is responsible for using reputable online sources to read from.

3. A minivan load of stuff should fit into dorm rooms if you get creative, but chances are, he won't need all that stuff. Will he have a car there? This way, he can drive to the nearest Target or whatever and buy whatever he's missing. Don't forget to take storage boxes, I had a bunch of plastic drawers under my bed to keep stuff in, and it worked great. Also, if he's only going to be an hour away, there's no need to take all his winter clothes now, since it will just take up more room. But you don't want to overcrowd the room either, those rooms are small, so make sure that you're not taking a whole lot of extra stuff.

4. I went to school about an hour away, and I saw my parents quite often. Either I would go home, or they would come to me. But my school had a lot of commuters, so there wasn't much going on during the weekends anyway. My parents would come up to my room, bring me clothes or food or whatever. Take me out for dinner somewhere nice. I don't see what the big deal was. Same thing my first 2 years of med school when I had an apartment near the school, about an hour away from my parents. They would come on the weekends, bring me food, take me shopping, take me out for dinner, etc. Course if I had a huge exam, that didn't happen, but I don't think it's that unusual.

 

[Christine]

1) His school offered a welcome basket for $75 filled with junk food. I opted out, but want to make my own. What kind of food other than granola bars can I put in that would be healthy, but last a long time (I dont want fruit flys in his room!)

I really didn't send any snacks. I sent bottled water, some ramen noodles. DD's dining hall is in her dorm so she can grab some fruit or whatever/whenver. I also knew she'd be able to get to a store and buy her own stuff.

2) I looked at his schedule and it seems he is taking all lectures??? There are no books listed for him to buy. Is this normal? Will I be hit with $1000 bill because the teachers will tell them on the first day they all need books?

You need to find the college's bookstore. From there, you will input your son's courses and the list of books will be provided. We bought our books as soon as the schedule was given back in June. You probably should get on that quickly!

3) Will a minivan load of "stuff" fit into dorm rooms? Should he only take necessities and see what he needs later, or should I bring everything and come home with 1/2 if it doesnt all fit? (He's about 1hr 15min away, I could go back if needed, but I want to try to make it a month before asking to visit!!)

I loaded up the back of my Highlander. A minivan has much more room, so yep, it will work. I took bed linens, TV, lots of clothes, computer, and various organizers and storage units. If you are only an hour or so away, I wouldn't sweat it, you can easily get something to him that he needs.

4) Do parents visit if they live close by? (take him out to dinner and bring a care package)

All parents are different. Most that I know don't visit until parent's weekend and then that's it. I do have one woman in my office who, I swear, is at her daughter's college almost every weekend (it is about 2-3 hours away).

 

[christineann]

I wouldn't spend the $ on the school basket. In addition to an occasional "just because" box, I send a plastic pumpkin full of candy at Halloween, a heart shaped box of candy at Valentine's Day, and a small Easter basket if they can't make it home. For my son's birthday his freshman year, I bought a dozen or so monster truck themed goody bags and filled them with candy and squirt guns. The guys thought it was hilarious and said they liked my sense of humor.

Nabs or Lance crackers are good - the kids put them in their backpacks for a quick snack between classes. My daughter also likes Handi-Snacks. Individual packs of granola and fun fruits are good, too.

We packed my daughter's Trailblazer on Thursday for her drive back to school. It was like a jigsaw puzzle trying to fit her stuff with plenty of clearance so she could see out of her mirrors. She left several things at home that I made her take her first year - too many towels!

Shelf paper is a necessity (at least to me!).

Liquid body wash is a lot less messy than toting a bar of soap to the hall shower.

 

[DISNEY1975]

Aside from the what-should-be obvious, why is shelf paper a necessity? Germs? I didnt have that on my list of things to bring. Should I run out tomorrow for it??

I have clorox and lysol wipes, lysol and fabreeze, daily shower (they have private baths in each room) kaboom, 409, broom, dustpan and a case of paper towels. Im sure none of will go to use, but apparently they have room inspections once a month. If the bathrooms are gross, the college will hire a cleaning company to come in and clean it...then bill the parents.

 

[gm]

whew!! I am so happy that they have housekeeping once a week that come and clean their bathroom. ds shares a suite with a roomate and have a private bathroom. I still will include clorox wipes and such though.

 

[minkydog]

When I was in college, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth, I loved having things that didn't need refrigeration--back then it cost a LOT to have a little fridge in the room. So my mom would set me up at the beginning of school with crackers, peanut butter, squirt cheese, tuna, sardines, canned fruit, beanie weanies, instant oatmeal, little cereals, etc. She also sent me boxes of goodies periodically. There's nothing as great as going to the post office and picking up a nice heavy box filled with homemade cookies, soap, Chex mix, nuts,magazines and quarters.

 

[christineann]

I put shelf paper in the dresser drawers because it just seemed "cleaner" and the dressers in my kids' dorms were kind of old. (note: I am not obsessive compulsive, it's just my preference)

 

[dis-happy]

You can save a lot of money on textbooks over the bookstore prices. Go go the bookstore, make a list of the books and their prices, then head over to your ds' computer and start looking online. Even if you do the 2 day shipping at Amazon you will probably come out waaaaay ahead.

Also check out Chegg...it's a textbook rental company. I was able to order a $137. stats book that my dd needs this term for only $10. (total $14. including tax and shipping, including the postage paid return label). Not all Chegg prices are that cheap but most are. Book arrived in 2 days to my dd's university.

If he's on the required unlimited meal plan for freshmen, you probably won't need to provide many snacks.

 

[clh2]

In a couple of weeks - your DS would much prefer a batch of his favorite cookies - just like a previous poster mentioned! Absolutely do not feel pressured into buying a $75 snack basket. Just a word of warning - they'll try to sell you something about the time of finals too.

We have several nieces that are in college and a couple of times a year, we will send each of them some homemade goodies...not lots - but fun things like homemade caramels!

One year - when there was only 1 niece in college - we sent her a little box of school supplies - just fun stuff that I found at a college bookstore that I was at...it was definitely UW-Madison themed, along with some cow prints, and some flip-flop shaped post-it notes. The icing on this box of stuff - I also included some sort of key-ring thing that was like a coiled thing that went on her wrist. She LOVED the key-ring thing.

 

[ShootingStarMom2]

I have a DS leaving in 4 days. I still have so many questions.

1) His school offered a welcome basket for $75 filled with junk food. I opted out, but want to make my own. What kind of food other than granola bars can I put in that would be healthy, but last a long time (I dont want fruit flys in his room!)

Yes, skip the pre-made. My mom made me a few care packages with my favorite snacks, micro popcorn, and usually something like a funny pen or office supply. She even sent new shower flip-flops with a note that said "throw the old ones away!"

2) I looked at his schedule and it seems he is taking all lectures??? There are no books listed for him to buy. Is this normal? Will I be hit with $1000 bill because the teachers will tell them on the first day they all need books?

He can just take his schedule to the bookstore and look up each class as far as what the teacher requires (they are usually sorted by class, with each class # listing which ones to get). I had one class that had no books, but we had to order a special reader instead that the bookstore didn't carry. But, don't be surprised if a few last minute books pop up. Sometimes the teacher might add or take off books. They can be crazy expensive too. I had to tell my dad that I needed a $250 art book after I bought $800 in total book costs just a week before.

3) Will a minivan load of "stuff" fit into dorm rooms? Should he only take necessities and see what he needs later, or should I bring everything and come home with 1/2 if it doesnt all fit? (He's about 1hr 15min away, I could go back if needed, but I want to try to make it a month before asking to visit!!)

Yes, it will. Everyone overpacks. I think I took a few things each year that I fully intended on using and never did. I was only an hour away, so I could have gone home for what I needed as well. We took what I thought I needed from home, then shopped the local WalMart for a few extra things like food, water, and university gear.

4) Do parents visit if they live close by? (take him out to dinner and bring a care package)

Any answers /advice is appreciated.

Thanks

Awww, of course you can visit. My parents came on birthdays and took me out to dinner. A few times my mom would come and drive me home. I wouldn't be expecting my parents to stop in all the time (and since you're an hour away, it will be tempting!). But a visit from my parents was always a good time. My roomates were also happy. They were usually invited to come with!

Here's a little note from a former college student. I lost my mom suddenly about a year and a half after I graduated. One day I was sorting through some of my old things from college and I found an envelope with all the letters she wrote me from home. Each week or so she'd send a one page note just about her day with a cartoon from that day's paper. There is nothing better than reading those notes and seeing how proud and happy she was for me. If you are missing your son or just want to say hi, send a note or silly card. They won't be forgotten and make a great pick-me up. You never know what kind of day he might be having.

ETA: Yes on the homemade cookies! Everyone will be jealous of 1) getting a package from home and 2) getting food that isn't mass produced.

 

[Inigo]

My kids left last Thursday and Friday.

1) Send small surprise packages at random through the year, putting in things you know he'd like. Foods, snacks, surprises like little games or stuff that will remind him of family jokes.

Don't buy the prepackaged gift boxes. The portions are teeny for what you pay, and you know your child better than they do. Personalize for your child.

2) Look on the college bookstore and see if there's a way to search the courses he is taking. You'll need the specific section numbers of each course, but you should be able to find what books are required, what books are recommended, and the price.

I found chegg.com recently, and it saved me a bunch of money for DD. (DS can rent his books at his college bookstore.)

Instead of buying the books, you rent them, and send them back at the end of the semester for a lot less money that it would cost to purchase. When you look at his booklist on the school bookstore website, copy the ISBN numbers for each book. You'll use those numbers to search for the books at chegg.com. The books were delivered for DD in three days. Use the code YOLK for freeshipping, which should save you about $8-15. Return shipping is always free.

3) You can fit it all in the room, but get underbed boxes to store stuff and keep it organized in the dorm room. There's not a lot of storage space, so he needs to use the space under the bed.

And you can always bring what doesn't fit back home.

4) DD is 1 1/2 hours south, and DS is 1 1/2 hours west of home. Yes, I visit. I figure I'll run down once a month or so. I figure they'll love having mom pay for a meal. I usually go to DD's area once a month anyway to shop or go to museums or shows, so I'll stop in while I'm "in the neighborhood."

+++++
I moved DD down there on Thursday. On Saturday morning, she called about a new video card for her computer. We were considering it anyway, so DH and I decided to drive down and take her shopping. Yeah, we made it two days before we went down there.

DH wanted to go since he wasn't able to help move her in to the dorm, he had barely seen the campus on our tour in the spring, and hadn't met the roommates.

DD and the roommate she shares a bedroom with were thrilled to see us. DD came up with a list of things she would like for us to get while we were out. We bought a TV stand, the computer video card, and some food. We didn't stay long though, and didn't stay to help install the video card or put the TV stand together. We handed them a toolbox, and said have fun.

Have you met your son's roommate yet? DD lives in a dorm that is comprised of apartments. I swear she and her roommate are clones! The girls in the other bedroom are opposite of DD and her roommate. This should be a fun year!

 

[Cindy B]

As for the books, I graduated from school in December 08 and I did have a few classes where I had no books and the professor had links or PDF scans of important information and I had to obtain my own research.

 

[EdiePA]

#4 -- What I didn't know, but learned along the way, when you go down to visit and take him out for a meal, include the roommate in your invitation. Later on, include new friends. It lets you meet the new people in their lives and what college kid doesn't appreciate a meal?

Also, microwave popcorn is a great take-along!

And he'll probably overbuy books his first year, but as he goes along he'll learn to ask other students which books were actually necessary.

It's an adjustment for all of you, but enjoy. It's so much fun to watch them mature and grow!

Edie

 

[The Mystery Machine]

You are welcome to join us on our college thread. We can talk you down.

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=2232066

 

[MichelleVW]

You are welcome to join us on our college thread. We can talk you down.

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=2232066

You beat me to it!!

 

[RitaE]

1) The school gift things they offer are mostly ripoffs, but he is a college aged boy. He doesn't want healthy snacks and he really doesn't want a basket. He wants junk food and dollar bills for the coke machine.

2) If he goes to the Campus bookstore they will likely have the books needed for the classes and/or the Professors will give them out the first day of class. Sometimes it is available somewhere on the internet. The campus bookstore is usually the most expensive place to buy the books however. Check half.com, amazon.com etc. You've left it kind of late however, but something to keep in mind for spring. Yes, you are going to get a huge bill.

3) Dorm room space can be pretty limited. He needs bed stuff, desk stuff, bathroom stuff and his video games and electronics. Again he is a college aged boy - he will live in the same pair of jeans and 3 t-shirts until they can stand up on their own and you tackle him and force him to use a washing machine.

4) Not really. Unless he needs money. Then he might tolerate you for a couple of hours.

 

[golfgal]

I put shelf paper in the dresser drawers because it just seemed "cleaner" and the dressers in my kids' dorms were kind of old. (note: I am not obsessive compulsive, it's just my preference)

I would skip the shelf paper, the glue can attract bugs and in a dorm, that might be an issue-especially with boys.

I got one of the school care packages once and most of the things in there were pretty gross. I don't think I ate 1/2 of what was in there. I would just send your own.

I would take the basics and then if needed, bring more later. He will find that he probably won't need everything you think he does and you won't have to bring more later.

Yes, you can visit but I would wait at least a month, if possible.

 

[ZephyrHawk]

I have a DS leaving in 4 days. I still have so many questions.

1) His school offered a welcome basket for $75 filled with junk food. I opted out, but want to make my own. What kind of food other than granola bars can I put in that would be healthy, but last a long time (I dont want fruit flys in his room!)

Don't buy care packages, they're a ripoff. Dried fruit is good, in a resealable bag.

2) I looked at his schedule and it seems he is taking all lectures??? There are no books listed for him to buy. Is this normal? Will I be hit with $1000 bill because the teachers will tell them on the first day they all need books?

Info on the books can be found on the course website or at the local bookstores. I don't know about getting hit with $1000, but we just bought DSIL's books (her graduation gift from us) and paid about $400 using a combination of Amazon, chegg.com and buying from the store the one book we couldn't get elsewhere. Buy used whenever you can.

3) Will a minivan load of "stuff" fit into dorm rooms? Should he only take necessities and see what he needs later, or should I bring everything and come home with 1/2 if it doesnt all fit? (He's about 1hr 15min away, I could go back if needed, but I want to try to make it a month before asking to visit!!)

Does he have roommates? Has he discussed with them who is bringing what? I would say a minivan's worth is more than enough. Perhaps too much if he's not bringing any major appliances. I used the back of a pickup when I went, but I had a single and had to bring everything myself (fridge, micro, tv, computer desk). This is important: DOES HE HAVE A FAN? A big fan. This should be the first thing moved into the dorm room! Very few dorms are air conditioned and by the time you are done dragging all the rest of his crud up the stairs, you'll be thankful for the articificial breeze.

4) Do parents visit if they live close by? (take him out to dinner and bring a care package)

Well, an hour and 15 isn't really close by. That's a little farther than my parents were. I guess you could say I saw my parents every other week in the fall (during tailgating season), but I basically never saw them at any other time of the year. So, I guess my answer is no. Maybe once a semester go up and take him to some place that serves steak. He will be eternally grateful for the real food.