A Little Moral Support Pls - Thanks all for your msgs :)

[sweet angel]

I also wanted to send some support your way. My BIL was gay and I'd guess the former inlaws had some issues dealing with it...mainly ex-FIL. He got over it. I know my exH had some issues with it, but he managed to get over it too. I think it helped that they lived 4 hours away.

I think it's harder for fathers to accept for some reason...like it makes their son less of a man which, frankly, is ignorant.

I'm sure if my son informed me that he was gay, I'd be sad...not because he was gay, but because I'd know what he'd have to face in life. I'd not be ashamed at all. I want him to be loved and happy and if it takes another man to do that, so be it.

As others have said, you have to be true to yourself.

 

[luvmydogs]

... So as I sit here now, I have some of my things packed ready to go in case he decides the worst.
To think that I am sitting here hours away from probably being disowned is heart breaking, but I can't go on living a secret life any more...

Dan,

As I sit here, myself, I read your words with both a heavy and an uplifted heart. Heavy--because as a mother of a son, I cannot fathom denying him my love or the love of another--regardless of orientation or gender. So many of us, although adults in age, still look to our parents for their unconditional love and acceptance, and it hurts us so deeply when it is not to be found. It is wrong. And with my deepest respect for your parents, I will say that they are wrong.

On the other hand, Dan, I couldn't possibly be happier that you've decided to live your life openly. As a straight woman, I can't imagine what it's like to day by day deny your true self because of the damning and degrading society in which we live. I am ashamed that so many of us view gay men and women as personae non-gratis, as the ones "with problems"--when in actuality, it is the other way around.

I will be thinking of you and your family, Dan, with all my best wishes for your dear brother. There are many people who may not be with you physically to show their support and care for you, and I am one of them.

Love is love.
Love is good.
Live your life openly and proudly, Dan.
You deserve this goodness.

 

[Agent Provocateur]

Hang in there, Dan. There is a lot of support out there, so lean on the people who understand... it will make the waiting easier while the people who don't understand come to terms with it.

 

[OrlandoMike]

As with the others, you are in my thoughts and prayers!

 

[R.S.Winters]

I just wanted to say to you all thanks so much for such kind words.
Well a few days has gone by. Some of stuff is still packed in the corner, but mum and dad are getting there.
We had yet another family trauma over the weekend which dealt the family a massive blow, and on Saturday I thought that I would be gone from the house by the evening. But, through everything we have all managed to live together. Mum has asked me about my feelings, but still doesn't understand them, and well, dad will need some time I guess.
Things are on the mend, and I hope that we can now all get on with our lives.

Thanks again for all your support.
I never expected so many responses!

Dan.

 

[Froggyswife]

I'm getting to this thread a little late. I haven't been where you are but I have a real life friend who has. She unfortunately had the worse reaction from her parents. She came out in the 80's and we live in a very small southern town in the US. She really had a hard time with her Dad. I just can't understand how any parent can turn away from their own child because of this. I'm so glad that so far everything is going pretty smoothly. I pray that it continues to go well. I have met some of the kindest people on these boards, so know that you are loved and respected here. Being true to yourself is hard to do and I salute your bravery and respect you greatly for it.

 

[Tiziminchac]

I think you did the right thing by being honest with your family. I trust everything will turn out right for you. After all, blood is thicker than water. I'll remember you in my prayers.

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

I've just returned. I am sending you every good wish for strength as you move through this chapter of your life. It's very difficult letting those you love know, true. But it is far more difficult to live a lie.

We are here for your support. Do not think you are "in this" alone. {{{hugs}}}

 

[Briarmom]

Just more hugs, prayers, and support.

 

[RickinNYC]

Dan, just wanted to jump back in and tell you once again you're in my thoughts. I'm so sorry you're going through something so difficult. We all do or will in some fashion so you're in good company. Also, take heart in the fact that many of the posters on this thread are heterosexual and they are in support of you as well. Situations like this take support from everyone.

Please continue to keep us posted.

As a sidenote, minds can definitely be changed. I come from a staunch conservative ,hardcore Republican career military Roman Catholic family of all men. (Poor Mom!) My own father and older brother, both far right thinking former career military officers, both accept me and my partner. In fact, they have taken Joe (my partner) into the family as they have the other inlaws. They didn't always feel this way but they have grown to recognize that they were in the wrong and that I'm their son/brother and Joe is a family member. Have faith and hope!

 

[ConcKahuna]

As a sidenote, minds can definitely be changed. I come from a staunch conservative ,hardcore Republican career military Roman Catholic family of all men. (Poor Mom!) My own father and older brother, both far right thinking former career military officers, both accept me and my partner. In fact, they have taken Joe (my partner) into the family as they have the other inlaws. They didn't always feel this way but they have grown to recognize that they were in the wrong and that I'm their son/brother and Joe is a family member. Have faith and hope!

Yeah, but Joe is practically a straight fratboy!

And Dan, I'm glad you're mother is doing well with it. It sounds like your father is just having to get it into his head, but that he's trying. Keep us posted!

 

[ashjohnson80]

Just wanted to stop by and offer support.

 

[kaw1218]

I've never been where you are, but I've had a few friends that have. I know it took courage to tell your family.

I'm glad to hear that you're aunt is behind you and that you're mom is coming around.

 

[Duckfan-in-Chicago]

Good luck. Maybe because the stress of the family members in the hospital, this made things a bit more tense but it had to be dealt with. It sounds like people are starting to come around.

Either way in my experiences I've met more people who were happier in life living their own lives rather than living to make their parents happy.

 

[L107ANGEL]

Good luck. Maybe because the stress of the family members in the hospital, this made things a bit more tense but it had to be dealt with. It sounds like people are starting to come around.

Either way in my experiences I've met more people who were happier in life living their own lives rather than living to make their parents happy.

I can't believe I have to say this, I agree with you

 

[Mysteria]

I have no great words of wisdom for you. Just wanted to say I'm glad it seems they are coming around a tiny bit and I hope they all come around eventually.

 

[sharlon]

Dan, A friend told me of your issues with your family. I just wanted to pop over and say how strong you are and toss some pixie dust your way. Although I can not relate to what you have been going through, I can say, as a mom, I would be proud to have you as my son. Keep strong and know many of us here are standing by you.

 

[trappednabox]

I can't believe I have to say this, I agree with you

me too!

I know it's hard on you right now, but you have to do what is right for you, I truely believe that means being true to yourself! Good Luck

 

[tevagirl]

I wish I could I could give you a big old hug and a pat on the back and tell you everything will be okay. Good thoughts and prayers are coming your way, Dan.

By the way, I also want to say, that I can only imagine how hard that must have been to tell your parents that you're gay. You should be very proud of yourself for taking that giant step. If it means anything at all to have a stranger be proud of you, know that you have quite a few right here.

 

[FroggyinArk]

and yet ag ain, i have seen what can happen, as dw said earlier its hard to see families torn apart, but i know in the end, wiht support and love you will be fine. best of luck to you dan.