A little advice to all the Yankees looking to move down south!

[poptoone]

Have a new NJ tranplant working for me and had an interesting discussion at work. He proceeded to tell me how none of his neighbors (all NC natives) wanted to spend any time with him. I asked why he thought that and what they talked about. The discussion carried on and he proceeded to tell me how North Carolinians can't drive, can't cook correctly, don't speak correctly, don't know how to run businesses correctly like everyone in NJ can. Playing devils advocate I asked him if NJ had it all right why doesn't he move back. He said he loved it here but couldn't understand why he was having trouble making friends!

The moral of the story is don't move somewhere and proceed to tell all the natives how big a bunch of morons they are and then wonder why no one wants to associate with you!

 

[kfeuer]

I've met that kind of person many times over the years. Like Lewis Grizzard used to say, 85 heads north and Delta's ready when you are

 

[beachblanket]

Your story really resonated with me.

I grew up in New England, and there were several families in my church who were transplants from the south (two from Georgia, one from Alabama).

Did they have "cultural differences" that showed? Yes, but to this day I can't forget how earnestly and graciously they worked to adapt and respect the values and approaches in their new environment. I never once heard them diminishing Yankees or pining for things to be the way they were "back in Dixie."

That stated, in my travels to the South, the urban northeastern transplants generally stick out like sore thumbs. It's not just their flat nasal accents - it's also in many cases a "diminishing" attitude just like the one you described.

Part of me (the armchair sociologist) always want to blame that on all sorts of complex environmental differences, but my gut tells me it's much more simple:

One area still values manners. The other really doesn't.

 

[Art Vandalay]

One area still values manners. The other really doesn't.

This has got to be one of the more ridiculous statements I've ever seen on here.

I grew up in NJ and lived in Alabama for 5 years. I assure you people in Alabama are no more or less well-mannered than those in NJ.

 

[NMAmy]

I've lived in several different areas of the US and lived in Germany for a year. Some people just have a hard time realizing that different isn't necessarily BAD. It made it a lot easier on me when I went in with an open mind--which got much easier as I got older. Now I miss small, different things from all the places that I've lived.

 

[Liliyana]

This has got to be one of the more ridiculous statements I've ever seen on here.

I grew up in NJ and lived in Alabama for 5 years. I assure you people in Alabama are no more or less well-mannered than those in NJ.

I spent the first half of my life in PA, second in the south (mostly NC). I have to say I agree with beachblanket... although it never fails to amuse me when I go back to PA for a visit. For example, I'll hold a door open for a man (a stranger - I'm female) and they never fail to just walk right through/by me without even a glance or a thank-you. It makes me giggle. If I tried to hold a door open for a fella down here, almost any man would refuse to go through before me.

 

[olena]

I've met that kind of person many times over the years. Like Lewis Grizzard used to say, 85 heads north and Delta's ready when you are

As soon as I read the first post, that sound clip came to my mind, too!

Atlanta is worse now than it was when Lewis uttered those words. It's full of people from all over and not just the Northeast. I imported one myself to marry and he gets along fine. He misses West Virginia and I chalk that up to homesickness. I rarely hear transplants complain like that though. For the most part, the ones I know have assimilated nicely and enjoy living here.

 

[KristinBelle]

I here stuff like that all the time, well this is better in NY, that wouldn't happen in NY, well in NY we don't do that. I don't get it, if you think it's so much better in NY move back!

 

[KariC]

I'll admit, my DH and I had some trouble adjusting to a couple of things when we moved to S. Carolina. I never complained, we were accepted fine. After a few months, I started teasing a few people about : Fast food (why does McD's take 15 minutes in SC in the drive thru?), accents (hey, those newcasters sound more like me than you - whose got the accent?), and telling me what neighborhoods I should drive thru with the top down on my convertible (hello, drove it thru some questionable, multi-cultural areas in downtown Cinci....I think I can handle this small town ). It was funny! They thought so too. In fact, for at least a month, my office neighbor at work and I couldn't understand each other....we were always saying "what?"....We could understand that, but not more polite ways like, "excuse me"! He ended up referring to his wife and himself as our Southern mom and dad!

 

[MomofKatie]

Heck, my dad has lived in Georgia for 32 years, and he still complains bitterly about how awful everything is there (the weather, the roads, the politics, the drivers, the schools, etc, etc...) and how in Wisconsin, they do everything right. My mom, brother, and I just do this- - and ignore him. We joke with each other that Wisconsin must be like the Garden of Eden, since it is so incredible and wonderful!!

 

[MareQ]

This is true form ANY regional transplant not just Northerners moving to the south.

In my old neighbrhood we had a VERY rude and holier than thou family from Georgia move in. All they all complained about was how horrible our accents were, how self involved we all were, how things were so much slower and how southerners were WAY more polite, our food was horrible, supermarkets didn't stock their favorite foods, taxes too high, nasty weather, too many animals.... I don't ever recall anything polite or positive coming from any of them and learned within the first 6 weeks that it was best to actually STOP being polite and engaging them in conversation because all they did was whine....

Thank goodness we moved 2 months later - I couldn't wait to get away from them.

 

[beachblanket]

I spent the first half of my life in PA, second in the south (mostly NC). I have to say I agree with beachblanket... although it never fails to amuse me when I go back to PA for a visit. For example, I'll hold a door open for a man (a stranger - I'm female) and they never fail to just walk right through/by me without even a glance or a thank-you. It makes me giggle. If I tried to hold a door open for a fella down here, almost any man would refuse to go through before me.

A wonderful example that hits the nail on the head .

 

[Poohnatic]

Part of me (the armchair sociologist) always want to blame that on all sorts of complex environmental differences, but my gut tells me it's much more simple:

One area still values manners. The other really doesn't.

I moved just south of the Mason Dixon from NY in 1988. Due to background, I never had a "New Yawk" accent and I must have blended in with the locals.

The first few years, when introduced to new people, I'd get the inevitable "where are you from?" because while I didn't sound like a NYer, I didn't sound like I was raised there, either.

Whomever did the introductions would not believe me when I said I was from NY. The stock response? "You can't be from NY, you're too nice" My armchair sociologist response to that is that there are rude people EVERYWHERE. There are more people living in NY, so odds are higher that you will encounter more rude NYers.

I have to respectfully disagree with your 'manners' comment, too Where I was raised, doors were opened and 'excuse me' and 'thank you' were the norm. Upon walking into a builing, the doors were almost always held open. Lilyana's comment definitely applies here. Once I moved south, I never had doors held open, but people would walk through every door I held without even uttering a "thank you".

When you don't have a church home in that part of the country, you have a rougher time making friends-trust me The usual questions, included which high school did you go to and what church do you attend.

I do have to agree 100% with the OP-if you won't even TRY to assimilate in your new home, then don't go raving on and on about the place you left unless your plans include a permanent return there.

Suzanne

 

[Muushka]

As a New England transplant here in the south, here is a conversation I once had with a southerner.

Mike: I cannot stand the way Yankees drive in the snow.

Me: What do you mean, Mike?

Mike: They drive like maniacs!

Me: Just wondering, if they all have NC license plates (because they have moved here, we don't see many northern license plates), how do you know that they are Yankees?

Mike: ...........(very awkward silence, returns to work, nothing more said about it)



Believe me, I make no comments about Southerners because I have chosen to live here (and have for the past 20 years). I am in their area now. But I do hear a lot of negative comments about Northerners. Which, to me, is very rude.

 

[luvmydogs]

I moved to GA 14 years ago from PA, and admit I came here with some preconceived notions of the South. Some were confirmed, almost all were not. I do dislike that there seems to still be this North/South division that I never saw anywhere else I lived. Letters to the editor of our local paper curse us 'carpetbaggers' and tell us "Delta is ready when you are." I've also run into an owner of a local lawnmower repair shop who asked me my last name before he'd fix our mower--you see, he won't do business with anyone named Sherman. Nutbags they are, but certainly anomolies--the people here are lovely.

I've lived in NY, NJ, PA, GA and for a short time in Italy and have found that aside from geographical coloquialsms, people are the same--treat them with respect and for the most part, you'll get it in retun. Obviously this NJ man is lacking respect for the natives of his new home, but that's *his* problem--not indicative of Northerners (or anyone) in general and how we assimilate into our new surroundings.

The themes of your posts and threads have sounded familiar to me for days, but I think with this thread I've finally remembered who you are.

 

[ozarkmom]

We talk about this alot around here. We get alot of Californians and people from up north moving down here. That's fine I'm not from here originally but I hate, hate, hate when they proceed to tell us how they did it back in ....
I have been tempted before to ask them who invited them here and if they know the road goes both directions. You move here by choice then proceed to tell us what's wrong here why don't you go back to where you came from?

 

[NewJersey]

Your story really resonated with me.

I grew up in New England, and there were several families in my church who were transplants from the south (two from Georgia, one from Alabama).

Did they have "cultural differences" that showed? Yes, but to this day I can't forget how earnestly and graciously they worked to adapt and respect the values and approaches in their new environment. I never once heard them diminishing Yankees or pining for things to be the way they were "back in Dixie."

That stated, in my travels to the South, the urban northeastern transplants generally stick out like sore thumbs. It's not just their flat nasal accents - it's also in many cases a "diminishing" attitude just like the one you described.

Part of me (the armchair sociologist) always want to blame that on all sorts of complex environmental differences, but my gut tells me it's much more simple:

One area still values manners. The other really doesn't.

We have transplants who moved into our town from Georgia, Illinois, and your state of California recently, as my town has been building home and home here.

I can tell you what you and the OP describes, has come from all of them, noteably the GA and CA neighbors. Maybe they are an exception, but I think you are generalizing the Northeast a bit too much. Our "flat nasal accents" is a perfect example.

 

[Crankyshank]

Oh so not only do I live in an "unattractively balkanized" state and grew up in one trying to export its morals, but I am now from an area that doesn't value manners. Lovely.

Well I had to take the shuttle bus to campus this morning. The bus was full. Several young gentlemen (from this area) got out and offered their seats to the women waiting for the shuttle. I always ALWAYS hold the door open for others. I go out of my way to wait if someone is coming in. More often than not I am thanked. I almost always encounter someone holding the door for me.

I spent a few years living in FL. While many of the people there were pleasant and friendly, there were lots and lots of entitled people who didn't utter a thank you or hold the doors for me. I also encountered quite a bit of nastiness because of my accent.

 

[NewJersey]

Oh so not only do I live in an "unattractively balkanized" state and grew up in one trying to export its morals, but I am now from an area that doesn't value manners. Lovely.

I don't know about others but I still am a perfect gentleman, as raised by my mom to be one.

 

[CEDmom]

Your story really resonated with me.

I grew up in New England, and there were several families in my church who were transplants from the south (two from Georgia, one from Alabama).

Did they have "cultural differences" that showed? Yes, but to this day I can't forget how earnestly and graciously they worked to adapt and respect the values and approaches in their new environment. I never once heard them diminishing Yankees or pining for things to be the way they were "back in Dixie."

That stated, in my travels to the South, the urban northeastern transplants generally stick out like sore thumbs. It's not just their flat nasal accents - it's also in many cases a "diminishing" attitude just like the one you described.

Part of me (the armchair sociologist) always want to blame that on all sorts of complex environmental differences, but my gut tells me it's much more simple:

One area still values manners. The other really doesn't.

Hey there, there's nothing wrong with the way I talk . Manners, what are those ? I think you just insulted a majority of this country if only the south supposedly has manners. For what it's worth I've met my share of rude southerns and polite northeasterners, midwesterners, westerners etc.