A lady was mean to my 4 year old today..

[cabanafrau]

I literally just choked on my coffee.

Seriously, grouchies of the world... can't you just go through life exhibiting a little grace? A little tolerance... a little patience?

Is it a ridiculous concept to expect grace, tolerance & patience to be more than one way streets?

From what was described in the OP this sounds like such a nothing, yet from the few facts given -- from one party's (biased?) perspective, this "old" lady is now grouchy and exhibiting no grace, tolerance & patience in life? There's no room for any other explanation?

From this kind of logic I'd expect her to be on another website somewhere detailing her harrowing run-in w/ a future serial killer.

If I accept the facts as given, what I know is a four year old wanted some attention from a fellow patron of McDonald's who rudely? sat next to him, pestered her to get attention, didn't get what he bargained for & mom took him to look at puppies to distract him. Minor blip for a four year old. I have no idea what the lady's intent or situation were, but I don't think she's automatically to be tarred & feathered either.

 

[MIGrandma]

If the only seat available in McD's was by a woman with a little kid, I'd take my food to go.

I'm not fond of most people's little kids. I had two of my own and I have 5 wonderful grandchildren. I'm fond of them, ha ha! They are mine and I love them dearly. Other people's kids? Nope, not so much.

In restaurants if the hostess is going to seat us near someone with a baby or young child I will ask to be seated somewhere else.

If, for some reason, I did have to sit down at McD's next to a woman with a little kid I would be annoyed if the kid bugged me. If he messed with my purse and his mother told him no, that should be the end of it. He shouldn't continue to be annoying. Tapping on/kicking the seat would be a huge annoyance and I'd probably just give him "the look", hoping he would stop.

I don't think I would ever have the nerve to actually say anything to him, but would be eating in a hurry so I could get out of there.

I think a lot of older people (and I'm in that category myself) have less tolerance for little ones than they did when they were younger. If the OP's son messed with her purse, then was tapping on the seat, then tried to talk to the woman he was obviously bothering her and it needed to be stopped.

 

[dumboiu]

IMO it's not such a bad thing for kids, even four year olds, to learn life isn't filled w/ Disney days & everybody around them may not find them precious..............Consider it a teachable moment & move on.

 

[crashbb]

While it does seem like the lady was being a bit grouchy, I have to admit that I'd be a bit put off by a child coming up and asking my name in a restaurant. I don't think it's really appropriate for children (or anyone) to go up to someone and ask that unless they have a reason to know. While I don't think the lady handled it very well (after all, your son is only four and probably didn't know any better), I do agree with her response...it really wasn't any of his business.

Totally agree.

I might have said something like "I'm sorry, I don't tell my name to strangers".

Admittedly since he had already poked at her purse and then tapped at the bench, she was probably already annoyed.

For those saying she shouldn't have sat next to a child - I sat next to a four year old yesterday, he didn't flick my purse, tap the bench or ask me my name (or do anything else that could possibly disturb anyone). Just because someone is 4, I wouldn't assume that they'd be disturbing (are the odds better than with someone older, sure? But not all 4 year olds disturb those sitting beside them).

 

[RunningGirl]

I just don't think this is a big deal that should be dwelt on.

 

[luvmy3]

Maybe she had a bad day and was just not in the mood to be nice. Maybe she is a crotchety old woman. Maybe she just has no patience for kids being kids.

I wouldn't let it bother you. If I'm ever in McDs feel free to sit next to me. I may find it in me to smile and tell him my name.

Be prepared though, if this thread is like some in the past there will be those that think what your son did was on par with Kristallnacht or, even worse, crying in Walmart. :rotfl:

Great, now my monitor is covered in coffee

If the kid was in her space (touching her pocketbook) then he got what he deserved - signals that she did not want him in her space. Now, of course I'm questioning why she sat next to him in the first place - was it that crowded, no other clean tables, etc?

A little kid got what he deserved? How about the woman just ask the child not to put his hands on her things, is it really that hard for an adult to not act like a female dog when someone *bothers* them?

Did you not tell him to leave the old lady alone and to stop tapping on the seat? Bothering others in public is not a 4 year olds, or any year olds, right.
Was this the only open seat for the old lady to sit at? Is not, then she made a poor choice. She was rude and so was your son.

I love little kids and I will wave and smile at them. Even when it is obvious it does not bother me the parents still tell them to turn around and not to bother others in public. This is what we do with our DD too.

What bothers you may not bother me and vice versa. If this woman is so easily bothered by the behavior of children then maybe she should have found herself another seat, and if there wasn't open I'm sure she could have sat in her car or found a bench. (Oh, sorry I guess I thought I was on the breastfeeding thread )

 

[MichelleVW]

The only one required to be delighted with your child is you. If some kid was touching my purse I would be annoyed also.
And yes I have a child but he knew the concept of keeping his hands to himself from an early age. The only ones he bugged were me and my husband.

I don't see what the big deal is. For all you know she was on the way home from moving her spouse to a nursing home or was diagnosed w/ cancer. Maybe she wandered into McDonald's because she just needed a break & couldn't face heading home yet. Maybe she's not four, but perhaps she was carrying a really heavy load at that moment & didn't have time to make it all about some little kid who was being annoying.

IMO it's not such a bad thing for kids, even four year olds, to learn life isn't filled w/ Disney days & everybody around them may not find them precious. It's not like she physically attacked him or threatened to turn his puppy into a fur coat. Consider it a teachable moment & move on.

While it does seem like the lady was being a bit grouchy, I have to admit that I'd be a bit put off by a child coming up and asking my name in a restaurant. I don't think it's really appropriate for children (or anyone) to go up to someone and ask that unless they have a reason to know. While I don't think the lady handled it very well (after all, your son is only four and probably didn't know any better), I do agree with her response...it really wasn't any of his business.

If the only seat available in McD's was by a woman with a little kid, I'd take my food to go.

I'm not fond of most people's little kids. I had two of my own and I have 5 wonderful grandchildren. I'm fond of them, ha ha! They are mine and I love them dearly. Other people's kids? Nope, not so much.

In restaurants if the hostess is going to seat us near someone with a baby or young child I will ask to be seated somewhere else.

If, for some reason, I did have to sit down at McD's next to a woman with a little kid I would be annoyed if the kid bugged me. If he messed with my purse and his mother told him no, that should be the end of it. He shouldn't continue to be annoying. Tapping on/kicking the seat would be a huge annoyance and I'd probably just give him "the look", hoping he would stop.

I don't think I would ever have the nerve to actually say anything to him, but would be eating in a hurry so I could get out of there.

I think a lot of older people (and I'm in that category myself) have less tolerance for little ones than they did when they were younger. If the OP's son messed with her purse, then was tapping on the seat, then tried to talk to the woman he was obviously bothering her and it needed to be stopped.

Agree with all the above!

Heck, I work in a daycare and love "my kids" at work, and I love my own children, but when if I'm out and some kid is flicking my purse I would be pretty annoyed.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Whoa, triple whammy.

Crotchety old people

Fidgety kids

Puppy mill puppies

 

[wendy46001]

Whoa, triple whammy.

Crotchety old people

Fidgety kids

Puppy mill puppies

 

[perdidobay]

I don't see what the big deal is. For all you know she was on the way home from moving her spouse to a nursing home or was diagnosed w/ cancer. Maybe she wandered into McDonald's because she just needed a break & couldn't face heading home yet. Maybe she's not four, but perhaps she was carrying a really heavy load at that moment & didn't have time to make it all about some little kid who was being annoying.

IMO it's not such a bad thing for kids, even four year olds, to learn life isn't filled w/ Disney days & everybody around them may not find them precious. It's not like she physically attacked him or threatened to turn his puppy into a fur coat. Consider it a teachable moment & move on.

I oh so agree!

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

Good grief. Life is too short to be so damn miserable. I would have told your son my name and I probably would have given him my Happy Meal toy No, not every day is going to be all rainbows and sunshine. But being pleasant even when you aren't feeling it goes a long way to making things brigher. Fake it till ya feel it.

ok, tht being said. I would not bring them to a pet store that sells these "poor puppies"... in Illinois, we are cracking down on these puppy mills.
most decent pet stores don't sell puppies anymore. If you want a decent dog, buy it from reputable dog breeder. I f you don't want to spend that money, there are MANY puppies and dogs at the shelters for adoption.

She didn't say she was BUYING him a dog. She said she took him in there to see the dogs. Puppy mills are disgusting, but does that mean the poor dogs don't deserve some love and attention?

 

[Missy1961]

I love kids. But if I was in that lady's position, I'd be annoyed. First this kid taps my bag, then he's tapping the seat. Then he's asking me my name. I may not have said what she said, but I would have been thinking it. I'm sorry your 4 yr old wasn't happy.

 

[Mermaid02]

I love it when kids are friendly like that.... but not everyone does. She just wasn't a friendly person. I'm sure she was expecting a quiet peaceful meal... UM SHE WAS AT MCDONALDS! LOL

She was an unfriendly old hag, nothing you can do about it.

 

[Ember]

I don't think the OP's child was being a brat or anything, but he was obviously looking for attention. He just picked the wrong lady, that's all. I generally smile at kids and am happy to talk to them, but there are days when I just don't feel like it, KWIM? The lady didn't verbally abuse him, she reminded him to mind his own business. I can't see this creating lasting trauma other then maybe indicating that not everyone welcomes his charm in their lives.

I would just forget it and move on. I can't see the situation was traumatic enough to warrant a special distraction, but if it made him happy then why not.

 

[VillageMama]

Is it a ridiculous concept to expect grace, tolerance & patience to be more than one way streets?

When it's a four year old versus an adult? Yes, I have higher expectations of the adult. Especially when the mother was teaching her son not to be annoying.

No matter what calamaties have befallen you that day, it really is possible to respond with grace, rather than rudeness. In fact, I consider how one behaves under stress to be a sign of one's character.

It's easy to be pleasant when things are going your way. But how do we respond when we're having a tough time?

I'm not saying the lady was wrong to feel annoyed. But the way she handled it was unnecessary and perhaps indicative of her underlying character.

 

[si-am]

I love it when kids are friendly like that.... but not everyone does. She just wasn't a friendly person. I'm sure she was expecting a quiet peaceful meal... UM SHE WAS AT MCDONALDS! LOL

She was an unfriendly old hag, nothing you can do about it.

That is somewhat uncharitable.

I don't see why it's okay to call the old lady names but if someone called the kid an annoying brat, I'm sure people here would be up in arms about it.

 

[dumboiu]

No matter what calamaties have befallen you that day, it really is possible to respond with grace, rather than rudeness.

I don't think you have enough experience to make this blanket statement. When someone wants to be left alone and they are not, why is the onus on them to be graceful?

 

[OceanAnnie]

Maybe she had a bad day and was just not in the mood to be nice. Maybe she is a crotchety old woman. Maybe she just has no patience for kids being kids.

I wouldn't let it bother you. If I'm ever in McDs feel free to sit next to me. I may find it in me to smile and tell him my name.

Be prepared though, if this thread is like some in the past there will be those that think what your son did was on par with Kristallnacht or, even worse, crying in Walmart.

That's what I thought too. Another Wal-Mart thread.

I love little people. Mine and others.

 

[allison443]

Recently I was waiting for the results of some serious medical tests. I was very stressed but was keeping it to myself, didn't want to worry anyone, etc. I know I was more distracted than usual and not myself, iykwim? It was a reminder to me that you never know what someone is going through. Don't jump to conclusions. Just accept it and move on.

You can't control how other people act, you can only control how you react to them.

OP your son will probably forget about it before the dis is finished discussing it!

 

[luvmy3]

I don't think you have enough experience to make this blanket statement. When someone wants to be left alone and they are not, why is the onus on them to be graceful?

If someone wants to be left alone then maybe they should stay at home where they can be alone.