After our very memorable (not) jungle boat ride we decided to try for the haunted mansion. The kids weren't that thrilled with the idea so we didn't actually include them in this decision. It was closed last year and both DH and I wanted to ride it.
We walked slowly over in that direction and stopped to take pictures at the stockades. Notice the ponchos are still one. It was kind of spitting kind of not but the wind was out and the sky was looking like it might let more buckets of moisture out any moment. We Diamonds like to be prepared. For moisture especially. Which if you keep reading you will realize that we were and we weren't prepared.
We kept inching closer to the haunted mansion. It didn't take long for the kids to figure out where we were heading.
They stop dead in their tracks.
"I'm not going on that"
"Why don't we just walk over and check it out. Wait till you read some of the gravestone engravings. They are hilarious"
"No. I don't want to."
"Oh, come on. We'll just take a quick peak."
Dh grabs Jedi and I grab Cindy. We end up carrying both of them. Again I get the heavier load. I put the backpack on my front and piggyback Cindy.
They cling to us for dear life. Cindy sinks her face into my back. I notice her nails need clipping.
I point out the gravestones and read some of them to Cindy. She is starting to breathe with shallow breaths but it is Jedi who is the most vocal.
"No. I don't want to. You can't make me."
Dh struggles to keep hold of Jedi and Jedi is grabbing onto anything he can get his hands on to delay actually going in.
There is no line up. It really was crappy day and there was no line up anywhere this morning.
Now would be a good time to mention that way back at home in Canada in our kitchen to be precise the kids both agreed to go on the Haunted House. Jedi was actually excited about it. Cindy not so much but she told me she could cover her ears, close her eyes and sit touching me the whole time to get through it if she had too. I read them the explanations about it from the Unofficial guide and from Tour guide Mike's site. We watched some of it on youtube. They were not unprepared. Again because the Diamonds like to be prepared hence the ponchos, the personalized t-shirts, the two strollers and of course the heavy backpack carrying the kitchen sink from our home in Canada.
Where were we? Oh, yes, we had pried Jedi's fingers off the entrance turnstile and were entering the round hallway. The kids knew what to expect. But they couldn't bring themselves to watch the walls.
Jedi was beside himself and crying almost hysterically. Okay in retrospect I think he was hysterical at this point.
I felt bad for the people around us and I was pretty embarrassed for myself. I figured our goose was up and it was time to get off.
While Jedi was screaming a nice older couple tried to reasure Cindy. They kept whispering to her exactly what the person on the intercom was going to say before they said it. I think they thought that would be helpful but actually it just intensifed her anxiety as she heard it twice!
The older couple were the only people over on our side of the room. Everyone else was crammed on the other side as far away as they could get from the family with the screaming child. Which family would that be? Oh that's right. It was us.
I suggested to Dh that we had gone as far as we were going to get with the kids. I was going to ask the staff for the chicken exit.
Dh however was determined that the kids would ride.
So on we went with our terrified children out of the round room and made our way to the loading area.
Cindy was breathing funny and since Jedi was still grabbing everything he could to stop Dh from taking him on it took a while to get anywhere. Another crowd from the round room surfaced and passed us. Probably declaring us the most unfit parents in the world. In their heads though. We couldn't hear anything over Jedi's screams.
I didn't care what Dh thought anymore. I couldn't put the kids through anymore of this.
"Where's the nearest exit? We need to get the kids out." I said to a creepy CM that walked past.
"You've passed them ma'am. There is no other way out once you are here on the loading area."
Cindy's eyes went the size of a Frisbee.
Not two seconds later did she…..
Yes, indeed she did…….
And guess where she did it?…….
Well that shut Jedi up. He recovered instantaneously. It was a miracle.
Who knew that Mickey waffles coming back smelt so bad?
Since I was holding Cindy and she was facing Dh, his lower legs took the brunt of the moisture.

There were some chunks. I didn" notice at the time because it was dark but when I did the laundry later I got to revisit it.
Did I mention that Dh was wearing
Crocs? The only way he ever wears Crocs, with bare feet. Yuck.
She did manage to get a fair bit on the moving escalator too. I'm sure that was fun to clean.
Amazingly, that same CM who told us there was no other way out. Found one for us. It was just 25 feet away.
Off we tramped to the nearest washroom where Dh washed up his lower extremities. Thank goodness Crocs wipe off so easily. And I had a change of clothes in my backpack for Cindy. She had gotten some on her long sleeves. IIt was difficult to pull it off her head without getting it all over her face and hair. I will admit I was pretty frustrated with her in the washroom while doing this and was not as loving as I should have been.
Hence the Diamonds were prepared for moisture after all even without our ponchos. At least as much as one can prepare for that kind of moisture.
We regrouped and decided to try something risk free. We were heading for the Tiki birds but came across the Swiss Family Robinson Tree house.
I have some vertigo issues. Too many years spent as a pre-school swim instructor in my youth and too many ear infections as a result of it. I didn't climb all the way to the top. The kids loved it and spent much time on it with Dh. Actually saw a DVD on sale somewhere of a couple episodes and thought about picking it up for the kids for a few moments. The kids still talk about the tree house. Turns out that Nanny and Poppa had taken Eeoyre on it after all too so all three of them share in the conversation.
While waiting at the bottom of the tree, I noticed that the dole whip booth was no open. Of course, I was feeling a little queasy from out HM mess and dizzy from climbing the tree so I wasn't really interested.
Dh was though. We headed over to the dole whip booth.
On the way I saw a CM dressed in the dream team outfit.
She was stopping everyone that went past and giving them something.
I didn't know what it was but I had to get over there and find out.
My hopes were up,
"Honey, hurry up. Bring the stroller this way. I see a dream team staffer over there."
"What's the dream team?"
Does this man not listen to anything I tell him about Disney?
It was just one Dream Team member. I knew they usually traveled in packs. She had a beige bag over her shoulder and was handing people something from it. I knew it wasn't the dream fastpasses as it I could see it was something small she was handing out.
Turns out it was chocolate coins. I like me some chocolate. Probably too much but still it wasn't exactly what I had been hoping for.
The CM noticed Jedi's b-day pins and she gave him a whole handful. Cindy hates chocolate (okay so not my daughter) and promptly told the lady so. I guess she was hoping she had something else to give her. Frankly I was hoping the same thing. But alas, it was not to be.
Jedi eat his coins on the way to the Dole whip stand in the stroller. He is in heaven.
Now because we are newbies to the whole dole whip thing I didn't realize there were actual options to it. There was ice cream, a twist version, with pineapple juice or without. It was too overwhelming for Dh and I. We had been through a lot in our morning so far.
Since it was still rainy and I was feeling sort of "ughish". My word meaning not so great and certainly not feeling verbal. I opted out.
Once again the birthday buttons/shirt were noticed. Jedi was offered a free ice cream for his birthday. Jedi was so happy with his chocolates (glad someone was) that he didn't want ice cream. He told them so. Cindy was so offended that Jedi was getting all this attention she huffed and puffed and crossed her arms and gave us her back. Okay now, I'm noticing that she may be my daughter after all.
Dh was not to be swayed. He was offered a free ice cream and there was no way he was going to pass it up. Free is for me is his official motto. Nanny taught me growing up that nothing in life is free so I am often wary.
Dh orders a twist ice cream in a cup. He eats it in the rain. Jedi tries some and kind of likes it but he is still all about the chocolate coins. Cindy is still all huffy and puffy and I am well…. I have hit the wall.
You know the wall of Disney. The point where you have just had enough. The weather was bugging me. Dh was seriously bugging me. I was still smarting from feeling like a bad parent by making my kids go on the HM and umm… Cindy and Dh still didn't smell that great to be honest. I've always been really sensitive to smells. I just wanted to go.
I never tried the dole whip. I had heard such wonderful things about it on the dis for a couple years now. This just wasn't how I pictured my first taste. I think I was expecting some sort of happy sitcome family moment. Where we all gather round the dole whip laughing and gazing at each other while a live band plays, the sun is shinning and Don Ho is singing. Okay maybe not that dramatic but some sun and some laughter definately.
So we went. Back to POR to see how Eeoyre, Nanny and Poppa fared. And for lunch. And to do some swimming. And to do some laundry.
Okay that was just me who did some laundry. But I'm going to let you in on a little secret. I love doing laundry at Disney. I get to be by myself. No one wants to join Mom doing laundry. No one questions what I do while I'm gone doing laundry. No one says I took too long doing laundry. No one says will you pick me up something while you are doing laundry. That is why I love doing laundry at Disney. It's my unquestioned me time.
So I grabbed the pop-up hamper full of dirty clothes and plunked it on the stroller. Took out the Cindy's shirt in the plastic bag in my backpack, even took some of Nanny and Poppa's laundry for them, made sure I had my laundry soap (Eeoyre and Poppa have sensitive skin so need unscented stuff), poured some coconut rum into my refillable mug, packed my trashy novel, packed my money and room key and told them I was off.
Freedom is laundry.
It's all how you look at it.
Of course the rum helped. I did pop over to the food court to add some coke to it. It wasn't a drinking rum straight kind of day.
At least not yet.
Click here for the next chapter-The forgotten MK afternoon
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