A Dr. Laura Caller, Upset with fiance over his dog. WWYD?

[DawnCt1]

A woman called Dr. Laura last night. She said that she is engaged to a man with a ten year old dog whom he absolutely adores. He has had the dog since he was a puppy. She is highly allergic to dogs and wants him to get rid of the dog since they can't get married/live together if the dog is part of the picture. WWYD? If I were him and my dog was important to me, I probably wouldn't start a relationship with someone who was so allergic to my dog, but that is water under the bridge I guess. Should she expect him to get rid of his "best friend" of 10 years? Should she consider allergy shots? WWYD? Seems like the guy is in between a rock and a hard place. Dr. Laura thinks she deserves better btw.

 

[mjkacmom]

I am severely allergic to cats (it takes me all of 5 minutes after entering a home to know if a cat is in the home). However, I would never expect someone to give up a beloved pet for me. My SIL had a couple of cats when she got married, and her DH was allergic, but sucked it up. Allergy shots, medication, careful cleaning, etc. should help.

 

[ReneeA]

I'd tell her to suck it up and get allergy shots.

FWIW, I love cats and have had at least one (usually more) my entire life. DH is allergic, and got allergy shots for a long time in order to be able to live with me and the cats. Now he doesn't have many problems with that allergy.

 

[abdmom]

I'm allergic to cats. I wouldn't start a relationship with a cat-lover.

 

[NYPDwife]

I'd tell her if if she wants to spend her life with this man, she can suck it up and stock up on allergy meds for the next 3 years (depending on the breed).

 

[Handbag Lady]

I can't stand Dr. Laura so I guess I'd go the opposite of whatever she says to do and you'll be fine.




In all seriousness, this issue should have come up before they started dating or at least the first bits of dating. The dog stays. Get rid of the girlfriend. All it will do is grow resentment from the dog owner over time.

 

[a1tinkfans]

Well, she obviously knew he had the dog before she got engaged. Not like she "just got allergies" and he "just got the dog." So, Now asking him to dumpt the dog, seems .....nasty to me. It screams, CONTROLLER to me....

She should get shots, get air purifiers or do whatever she/he have to do...
To ask him to dump his long time dog is unfair.
Personally I am not feeling the sympathy for her . Could it be that I am influenced by the fact that I love my dog???

 

[SwedishMeatball]

A woman called Dr. Laura last night. She said that she is engaged to a man with a ten year old dog whom he absolutely adores. He has had the dog since he was a puppy. She is highly allergic to dogs and wants him to get rid of the dog since they can't get married/live together if the dog is part of the picture. WWYD? If I were him and my dog was important to me, I probably wouldn't start a relationship with someone who was so allergic to my dog, but that is water under the bridge I guess. Should she expect him to get rid of his "best friend" of 10 years? Should she consider allergy shots? WWYD? Seems like the guy is in between a rock and a hard place. Dr. Laura thinks she deserves better btw.

Along those same lines, she probably shouldn't have started a relationship with someone who has a dog if she is so allergic. It's possible this is some sort of a power struggle and/or she wants to see if she is his first priority.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

The dog should kill both of them and spare us their stupidity. Good thing he has no kids.

 

[apirateslifeforme]

I'm extremely allergic to cats.

My DBF has 2 cats. They are 2 and 9 years old, so he's had them for a long time and they will be around for many more years.

I take Claritin and just don't pet them too much. He vacuums a little more than he used to. It's a compromise and it all works. I would NEVER ask him to get rid of them; I love them now, too. And I'm not giving up Mr. Right either, just because he has cats.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

Along those same lines, she probably shouldn't have started a relationship with someone who has a dog if she is so allergic. It's possible this is some sort of a power struggle and/or she wants to see if she is his first priority.

Bingo. Personally, I think he is the one who deserves better not her.

Reminds me of that beer commercial where the ridiculous girl is asking who he'd save first.

 

[dismom2]

If the man is very attached to his dog, I don't think he should have to find a new home for it. For some people, thier dog, cat, or other pet is just like a family member and they share a strong bond. I would hope the girl would just treat her allergies, and the man do what he can to help alleviate the problem, while all living in harmony.

 

[DVCLiz]

I can't stand Dr. Laura so I guess I'd go the opposite of whatever she says to do and you'll be fine.

Amen to that!

 

[Hillbeans]

These are the kinds of things that people "pretend" aren't big deals when they are all gung-ho about dating someone but then realize after it's too late that they now have a problem with it. I know this isn't quite as big of a deal as religion or the issue of having kids/not having kids, but still the man can openly say that she knew he had this beloved dog before they got serious.

I say it's her problem, if she wants the relationship, she deals with it.

 

[padams]

I'm allergic to dogs. DH and DSs wanted a dog so I researched breeds. We have a wheaten terrier. My allergies are not too bad with him. I can live with it because I know how much everyone else in our house loves the dog.

I think the dog owner needs to find a new fiance. Now she wants him to give up the dog. Next, she'll be getting rid of his clothes, furniture, friends, etc. Run, boy, run!

 

[Tink888]

Dogs tend to be a lot more loyal than people. I'd tell her to suck it up and take allergy meds. The dog was there first and she knew what she was getting into.

 

[Piecey]

DH hates my dog. Loathes him. He isn't allergic to him, but he pretty much despises the dog.

He keeps asking me to get rid of him and I just remind him he knew the dog came with me when he started dating me. I keep the dog and if he has a problem, it's his problem. Not mine.

I'd say the same thing to this girl- if you knew about the dog, you knew he came with a dog. You chose to keep dating him, with a dog, so now you have to figure out how to adjust yourself to the dog. You don't ask someone to change their lives because you ignored such a big part of who they were.

 

[luvwinnie]

It is unfair of her to ask that of him...how could you ask someone you love to sacrifice so much? But I agree with you Dawn, I would never get involved with someone highly allergic to animals...it would just be a disaster for me. Luckily DH loves animals as much as I do.

 

[Scurvy]

Well, she obviously knew he had the dog before she got engaged. Not like she "just got allergies" and he "just got the dog." So, Now asking him to dumpt the dog, seems .....nasty to me. It screams, CONTROLLER to me....

She should get shots, get air purifiers or do whatever she/he have to do...
To ask him to dump his long time dog is unfair.
Personally I am not feeling the sympathy for her . Could it be that I am influenced by the fact that I love my dog???

I agree completely. Frankly, anyone who would expect somebody to get rid of their beloved pet in order to better accomodate them is not the sort of person I would want to associate with, so I definitely think the guy deserves better than her. Regardless, he should not get rid of the dog for her, and she shouldn't be asking him to. If they want to continue the relationship they can live apart for the rest of the dog's life, or she can get allergy shots and try to live with the dog or they can break up and she can find someone who doesn't have a dog. Getting rid of the dog shouldn't even be considered a possiblity, in my opinion.

I think the dog owner needs to find a new fiance. Now she wants him to give up the dog. Next, she'll be getting rid of his clothes, furniture, friends, etc. Run, boy, run!

Exactly! If she thinks it's reasonable now to ask him to get rid of something he loves, she'll expect him to give up other things he cares about for her in the future as well. She'll be one of those controlling wives who can't stand for her husband to have any interests other than her. He needs to get out while he can!

 

[disykat]

As a person who has had unsuccessful immunotherapy (shots) and is on 2 daily prescriptions plus two inhalers year round for my allergies with additional prescription eye drops, ear drops, lotions etc. seasonally, I will never understand why some people think allergies are something that can be "cured" with a pill.

I agree with those who feel the problem was at the start of the relationship. There never should have been a "she'll suck it up" or "he'll give it up" thought in either of their brains. Both are unrealistic.

My husband knew I had limitations due to allergies when he started dating me. He didn't already have a pet at the time, so knowing he may never have one again was worth it to him. If he was already committed to an animal I was allergic to he probably wouldn't have been able to commit to me - unless he was willing to find another home for his pet - period. We now have an "allergy friendly" breed dog and we're happy that was able to work for us. It might not have.

IMO, the choices they have are finding another home for the dog or waiting to marry and live together until after the dog passes. I highly doubt it's as simple as her taking an over the counter pill and being hunky dory or they would have already done that. Allergy/Asthma management is really serious business for many of us.

I love my dog so much that a lot of my friends think I'm unreasonably attached. However if one of my family members developed a serious allergy to her, as hard as it would be - I'd find a new home for her.