A Daily Lesson in Parenting and Manners: A TR by a real life Wicked Stepmom!

[Timon]

I found your trippie on Saunday morning and read the whole thing in a couple of days

First I must give you HUGE kudos for being a fantastic step-mom. I know that it's not easy to step into a situation like that but you've done a remarkable job with those darling kids of yours and they are going to be better people because of it!

Secondly, thanks so much for taking the time to share your Disney adventures with us. I know it helps me to pass the time waiting for my next trip when I read about other people's experiences, as I'm sure it helps countless others too!


I've teared up a few times reading your tales but none as much as when Sally asked Minnie Mouse if she remembered her. My heart just swelled when Sally started to believe in the "magic"

You have a great gift for putting your experiences into words. I've never laughed this much reading a trip report

I look forward to reading the rest Great job Miss Cammie!!!

 

[seawitch0313]

I *love* how Teddy got excited over you guys being a family, *like Lions*! That was too funny.

Your story gives me hope for my own family. My ex and I are on good terms ATM, but I so hate the thought of my kids growing up thinking they are from a broken home. Our trip is in a few weeks, just me and the boys, and I just so wish for them to have the time of their lives and know that a family is what you make it, not what box your mom checks on paperwork.

Thats why your little bus scene made my heart flutter

 

[cherjp]

Hi Miss Cammie

chapter 5 part 1, thats where i have got too so far, and i have laughed and laughed and laughed till i cried, and cried and cried , Sally and Teddy are absolute wee darlings, and you are a fab step mum, AND it felt like i was watching a movie , i could visualise it all , your writing techniques are fantastic, seriously consider becoming a writer , you obviously dont know how good you are!

Whereabouts in Ireland are your family from and where is your DHs roots in Scotland?

I am from the South West coast of Scotland ,BURNS COUNTRY, which is the side closest to Ireland, infact where i stay there is a ferry crossing to Larne (Northern Ireland) it takes around 3 hrs to get by ferry to N I from here.

I think you are southern irish though as you definately have a touch of the BLARNEY!!

So looking forward to catching up with the rest of your trippie,

take care

 

[CampbellScot]

Hi Miss Cammie

chapter 5 part 1, thats where i have got too so far, and i have laughed and laughed and laughed till i cried, and cried and cried , Sally and Teddy are absolute wee darlings, and you are a fab step mum, AND it felt like i was watching a movie , i could visualise it all , your writing techniques are fantastic, seriously consider becoming a writer , you obviously dont know how good you are!

Whereabouts in Ireland are your family from and where is your DHs roots in Scotland?

I am from the South West coast of Scotland ,BURNS COUNTRY, which is the side closest to Ireland, infact where i stay there is a ferry crossing to Larne (Northern Ireland) it takes around 3 hrs to get by ferry to N I from here.

I think you are southern irish though as you definately have a touch of the BLARNEY!!

So looking forward to catching up with the rest of your trippie,

take care

Thanks so much for reading and for the very kind words!

My family is primarily from Galway...the West Coast of Ireland. Some of my cousins have since moved to Dublin... ...they live in the Sutton area, near Howth...and a couple of them have a place in Baldoyle...just a stone's throw from Sutton!

As for the Scots...they hail from the Highlands! The Argyll area...mostly Campbeltown to be exactly exact! (naturally!) MY grandma's grandma was born in the Aberdeen area...she was lured to Ireland by my great great...however many greats Granddad! The story goes he had to steal her away in the night, for the Scots were proud and didn't want to lose one of their own wee quine to the Irish! (As far as I know, "quine" is slang for young girl...at least it was in Aberdeen...) We've got a mixed and varied language amongst us...with an American Southern accent to boot!

MUCH to my family's dismay I actually KISSED the Blarney stone...after wiping it down with an antibacterial wipe of course...oh they teased me something FIERCE over doing such a tourist thing! But I was in college on a month long trip with my class! I was PARTICIPATING! They told me horrible gross stories about the Blarney stone...ick...mean mean boys they are!

glad you've joined us!!!

 

[sunnyday123]

I *love* how Teddy got excited over you guys being a family, *like Lions*! That was too funny.

Your story gives me hope for my own family. My ex and I are on good terms ATM, but I so hate the thought of my kids growing up thinking they are from a broken home. Our trip is in a few weeks, just me and the boys, and I just so wish for them to have the time of their lives and know that a family is what you make it, not what box your mom checks on paperwork.

Thats why your little bus scene made my heart flutter

THANK YOU!!!! I tell my daughter that we are a family no matter if her father and I are together or not, and that is what Miss Cammie is doing for her babies......EVERYONE is part of the family even their Mother, and they should all get along ( Miss Cammie please let her know that!) for the sake of the kids. I get along with my x for my daughter and we feign civility for her sake! One person has made the mistake of telling me how my DD is from a "broken home" and my inner Donald popped out and asked if they would like to see broken. Family is family and giving birth doesn't make a parent. Miss Cammie has proven that! Sally and Teddy are very lucky to have her.


you can now proceed with your regularly scheduled Disney magic, I have stepped off the soapbox!!!

 

[CampbellScot]

THANK YOU!!!! I tell my daughter that we are a family no matter if her father and I are together or not, and that is what Miss Cammie is doing for her babies......EVERYONE is part of the family even their Mother, and they should all get along ( Miss Cammie please let her know that!) for the sake of the kids. I get along with my x for my daughter and we feign civility for her sake! One person has made the mistake of telling me how my DD is from a "broken home" and my inner Donald popped out and asked if they would like to see broken. Family is family and giving birth doesn't make a parent. Miss Cammie has proven that! Sally and Teddy are very lucky to have her.


you can now proceed with your regularly scheduled Disney magic, I have stepped off the soapbox!!!

oh we've had that conversation about everyone getting along...we've had that conversation in therapy sessions...and we get the same blank look and the pat "I AM..." response of a petulant child.

Jay and I really stress loving and respecting everyone...whether we live in the same house or not. We can't make anyone behave in a manner that they are not willing to adopt.

So...she does what she does and we do what we do. It stinks. But there is nothing we can do but be consistent with what we say and lead by example. We don't bad-mouth anyone or make ugly comments. We remain upbeat and encouraging in front of the kids.

Truly, It's an endless battle and it tears marriages apart. I've had a much harder time accepting that one simply cannot reason with an unreasonable person. It doesn't matter how many ways you point out that certain behaviors and choices are detrimental to the children. If a person doesn't care about anything but their own comfort and happiness regardless of who it may hurt, then there is nothing to be done on that end. So you have to focus on what YOU can do...or you will go insane...or end up a RAGE monster. That's what stress that cannot be alleviated does to people.

SO...there you have it. MissCammie's *solution* to an unrelenting problem.

WE MADE IT TO 100 PAGES!!!!!

 

[polineedyan]

My solution is that I let the parents parent, and I as a step parent, am more of a guide. I can be a consultant to my mate, but when it comes to her ex, and more specifically, THE KIDS NEW STEP MOM, I dont even communicate. Parents have a natural right to do what they feel is right for their children. Whether I agree, or choose to do those things, or not, is not an issue.
Its a thin line, but when conflict arises, it seems to be easier to let the two parents duke it out, and I stay out.
Strangely, dw and her d-ex(?) and I got along for YEARS and were complimented all the time. People thought I was his brother..Then he got married..and within a year, we were in court..
Not that step mom's are all bad..just ironic I guess..
I love your site, and I dont even think of you as a step when I read the posts..You are what you are..just keep keepin on, as you do.
Neither side has any right to tell the other what to do..Live like their yours. And they will be.

 

[CampbellScot]

My solution is that I let the parents parent, and I as a step parent, am more of a guide. I can be a consultant to my mate, but when it comes to her ex, and more specifically, THE KIDS NEW STEP MOM, I dont even communicate. Parents have a natural right to do what they feel is right for their children. Whether I agree, or choose to do those things, or not, is not an issue.
Its a thin line, but when conflict arises, it seems to be easier to let the two parents duke it out, and I stay out.
Strangely, dw and her d-ex(?) and I got along for YEARS and were complimented all the time. People thought I was his brother..Then he got married..and within a year, we were in court..
Not that step mom's are all bad..just ironic I guess..
I love your site, and I dont even think of you as a step when I read the posts..You are what you are..just keep keepin on, as you do.
Neither side has any right to tell the other what to do..Live like their yours. And they will be.

I appreciate the kind words. Step parenting is EXTREMELY complicated. If you enter the children's lives after the age of six, you pretty are on the "I'm your ally" track and most of the "parenting" is done by the biological parents or you are met with massive resistance and resentment. It's hard enough having your parents break up without having a new person coming and in bossing you around.

I entered the children's lives when they were still pretty much babies. We had the kids 50% of the time and as it turns out, based on work schedules and such, they are alone with me more than either "bio" parent. If I waited for Jay or their mom to do all the parenting, it would have been anarchy in our house. We had a lot of time to bond and get a dynamic going which has been ultimately helpful as they get older...and I'm bossy.

which they LOVE...

*ahem*

Really my relationship with the kids is based a lot on the fact that they've never known anything different. Teddy doesn't remember a life without me. Sally barely does. They were able to accept me as another caregiver without a lot of upset. I've been very lucky to have children as loving and open as Sally and Teddy.

I'm almost done with the next chapter y'all!!!

 

[polineedyan]

ive been with mine since they were 5 and 3, you make a good point..
And youre right, if you wait for one of them, sometimes its not feasable. Which is what we sometimes see, when we cant get an answer until later from dad. (he has to check with step)..so like I said..do whatcha do..sounds like you have the hang of it..

 

[sunnyday123]

all I can say is, YAY FOR MISS CAMMIE!!!!


polineedyan, sounds like you're doing a good job too. Now, if we could only bottle this....and forward it to some others........



C'mon next chapter!!!!!

 

[CampbellScot]

all I can say is, YAY FOR MISS CAMMIE!!!!


polineedyan, sounds like you're doing a good job too. Now, if we could only bottle this....and forward it to some others........



C'mon next chapter!!!!!

it's coming!!!

 

[2ScottishPrincesses]

it's coming!!!

 

[ForeverDance]

Just thought I'd stop in and say hi. I have read all of your TR and I have to tell you, you have an amazing story telling ability. I am completely hooked on this report.

I am also a fellow wicked step mother (yep that ds in my sig is technically dss) Although, to be honest, when asked I usually say I'm his "evil" step mother. In any case, it's always fun to see the reaction I get... apparently I don't look like an evil/wicked step mother

Looking forward to the next chapter

 

[newtodis]

MissCammie-

*LOVE* the TR!! I just finished (after about three days of trying to catch up) read everything. I can only hope my TR will be half as good as yours! I must say we sound a lot alike! So many times I was laughing and crying with you and thinking "gosh-wouldn't done the same thing!" or "I wish I could have that control and not beat that person!" I too came from a *VERY* nasty divorce-my mom didn't want to work so she couldn't afford to have two kids and my dad just plain didn't have much interest so off to foster care we went. Lucky us! I must say, I've come out a pretty tough cookie and raised myself pretty darn well for the most part. Still a lot of trust issues but some day, maybe, I'll get over that. I didn't do such a hot job raising my brother (4 years younger than me) and he's the "typical" child from a broken home-drug dealer, sleeping with who knows what who knows where. Thankfully I learned a lot from that and my children will not be that screwed up! I was treated to a truly wicked step mom when my dad wanted to give parenting a shot when I was 16. He's a truck driver and was only home a couple of days a month. Step beotch thought this was the perfect opprotunity to take control of everything. Being through everything, I was not about to let this happen at all! I can remember sitting at the kitchen table, her getting up, smacking me across the face and acusing me of sleeping with the husband of a family I regularly babysat for. Seriously?? Another time I had the stomach flu and threw up and she asked how many diet pills I'd taken. I did *not* get this chunky by taking diet pills lady! So finally one day, I'd had enough! I told her I couldn't wait until she died to make her into a coffee table one day-at least she'd be useful then! Felt good at the time but I still felt bad for saying that to anyone-no matter how much I felt it! The final straw was the packing boxes she gave me as a high school graduation present! Just what every Senior wants! But the fun didn't end there!!! Since she didn't want to work, she and my dad took out two credit cards in my name. When Miss Independant when out on her own, she couldn't do a darned thing because she had two credit cards that were maxed out and no payments ever made! Gotta love parents who don't think about anyone but themselves!!

Sorry for hijacking your thread!!

I wish you the best of luck with your hearing (I've only been reading the TR so now I have to go back and catch up on the non-trip stuff!), making Sally's wish of a baby sister come true and finding Disney happiness for your family every day.

Can't wait to hear about the rest of the trip! You better hurry up and finish-you'll be on your next trip soon and have to start the pre-trip report!

 

[mom3sonstt]

Have been enjoying reading your report. I was drawn to the title since I am also a Wicked StepMother. I came to it late in the game - the boys were 11 and 15 when I came along so there was not a lot of "parenting". Plus there is a significant age difference between DH and myself (12.5 years) so I was only 6.5 years older than the oldest boy. Kind of hard to act all parental to a kid who isn't much younger than you are! Then I started having babies of my own. We did try to work with the ex. And it pretty much worked out ok. They had set dates for visitation but we all lived in the same area. For Christmas we were supposed to alternate Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, but once I had kids we kept the boys Christmas Eve then they would get up with my kids on Christmas Day and when we would go to my mother's for Christmas lunch we would drop the boys off at their mothers. Which worked for her too because byt the time we dropped the boys off there her new hubby had time to run to town and pick up his daughters. Now I won't try to kid anybody and say that we became best friends or that we always agreed with what she did (like when oldest SS got married when he was 19 and she threw a keg party for them ) or when youngest SS was separated from his wife trying to figure out what to do next and she encouraged him to file for divorce before his wife did so he would have the advantage. (I don't know what advantage she thought he would have) But I did find out later that his wife had no intentions of ever filing and I believe they would have reconciled if they had just waited it out awhile.

But all of that is neither here nor there - I just wanted to let you know I am enjoying your report, and am awe of the relationship you have with those kids! Love 'em hard - sounds like they can use it!!

 

[mommy2jays]

Hi MissCammie,
I have been following your trip report for weeks and I just wanted you to know how much I have been enjoying it. Thanks to you (and Sally of course), the term 'rule-breaker' has been officially added to my daily vocabulary. Thanks for sharing your family vacation with us!

 

[FSUDisneyGirl]

so i hear you're almost done with the next chapter...

congrats on 100 PAGES mscamie! that is totally awesome. i was gonna congratulate you on that, and then i saw that you have like 3 months until your next trip! how exciting! will you be doing a pre-trip for that one, because, if so, i will totally be there!

and on the shami (forgot how to spell it!) i was also a competitive swimmer, and i probably have mine lying around somewhere! those things are magic!

lovin' your report!

 

[jennipooh]

Miss Cammie, read your latest trip report the other day. AS USUAL, I ENJOYED IT!

I did want to take the time to tell you how sweetly you painted the bus ride home. Those moments are the moments I live for as a mom. Your love for your kids comes through so clearly. I do not think you could love those kids more if you had carried them yourself or if you had them 100% of the time. The time that you are with them must be very special for them and they will carry that with them always.

Parenting in a family of divorce is difficult. I do not know what step-parenting is like. I have said that I wish my son's stepmother had treated him with such respect and affection.

You are wonderful

 

[CampbellScot]

Hi everyone,
the chapter is nearly there...our Air Conditioning decided to go out on us...less than two years old...and it just quit. SOOO I'm home today...but dealing with that mess.

should be fixed soon and I can sit down and write! WooHOO!!

I also wanted to thank everyone for the extremely kind words. I can't begin to tell you how nice it is to see words of praise!

there are days I feel like a giant anger ball who should never be anywhere near children.

thanks for reading everyone!

 

[sunnyday123]

there are days I feel like a giant anger ball who should never be anywhere near children.

thanks for reading everyone!

Lol......that's all part of being a parent!!! My daughter said to me this morning, "let's try this. I listen and you don't yell." sounded good to me. ( my nickname alternates sometimes from "sweet mama" to "yelling mommy" )

Good luck with the a/c! It isn't supposed to be too warm this weekend here, so hopefully you aren't suffering either!

my yay! it's friday dance