After our LOVE FEST at Camp Minnie-Mickey it was pert near time for our Safari Fast Pass!
I was excited about this one b/c I KNEW that Teddy would be over the moon about it. That boy is an animal lover!
The kiddies hopped into their kid transporter and we were OFF...Slicing through the humidity as we went. UGH! This was just WRETCHED!
I made Jay stop for a second and I wiped both kids down with a face wipe thingie and handed them their little fans. I didn't want anyone getting heat stroke. It would ruin the whole day!
*ahem*
The clouds overhead were starting to look a little more menacing.
We had a ways to hoof too!! Kilimanjaro Safari was WAAAAAAAY over yonder! I said a quick prayer to the Patron Saint of Lost Causes and hoped we wouldn't we get drenched whilst we were in the park! I just was NOT in the mood to be SOPPED today. Wasn't feeling it. It was too hot and icky to have to wear a poncho! BLECH!
We walked back towards Discovery Island. Teddy and Sally waved to our friends the Otters in the Otter look...they waved back...told us how great we looked despite the humidty...blew some kisses...y'know...
cause I speak Otter.
I DO.
I think St. Jude was having some fun with us...it hadn't rained buckets on us yet, be were finding it VERY hard to put that scoot in our boot! We managed to find every slow person in the park and get right in behind them...and they'd stop dead in their tracks to...look...at something...or scratch their heads...or just STAND THERE. Oh I thought Jay was going to start mowing folks down with the kid transporter. People were literally stopping DEAD...mid stride...out the blue...to just stand! Jay ran over my toe once due to such a sudden stop. There may have been cursing involved. Cuz OUCH when your darling manicured little toe gets squashed by a heavy kid transporter!
Sally wasn't very happy about it either.
"MissCammie...MissCammie, I need to TALK to you!"
uh oh.
we had been stopped for the 84,000th time. DANG there was just no getting around people today!
The people in front of us had just stopped dead to tie their shoe laces or something that one MUST do in the middle of a walkway.
RAR!
I limped around the front of the kid transporter and got down in front of Sally.
"Yes Fred...how can I help you?"
"MissCammie...I need to tell you something and it's gross..."
I shot a look at Teddy who was often the culprit of "gross" offenses. But he seemed to be behaving himself. He actually looked a little bit dazed and tired. So I squirted him with the MistyMate. He perked up. Good. Just wanted to make sure he was still kickin!
"MissCammie..."
"Yes Sally. Spit it out kiddo, days a wastin!"
Sally pursed her lips and looked very offended.
"MissCammie, the people in front of us BENT OVER right in our faces and the man...well the man..."
I seriously, did NOT want to know.
Teddy decided he'd help his sister out as it was clear she didn't want to say whatever it was that had offended her so.
"MissCammie, we saw that man's hiney cr..."
"TEDDY that will be more than enough...thank you."
oh the humanity of large sweaty crowds.
Sally gave an affirming nod.
I gave my pat "I'm sorry that must have been really upsetting..." answer.
Sally confirmed that it WAS upsetting. And GROSS. And why didn't that man wear a BELT?
I listened with my "concerned and interested" social worker face on.
This often satisfies Sally.
She wasn't so much buying it this time.
"MissCammie it's gross. Why do people do that? Can we find a less crowded path?"
Yes Sally...we could be walking on a people free path but instead chose to wade through this under-deoderized crowd of people for the FUN of it.
"This is the only path Sal. But I'll tell you what...if you close your eyes and have a little rest, we'll be there in no time and you won't have to see anything at all!"
She did just that.
Both kids were feeling the heat of the day. I was immensely grateful for the Kid Transporter yet again! We'd be smack in the middle of WHINE WORLD if the kids had to walk through this mess. Then nobody would be happy b/c MissCammie would be unhappy b/c she is allergic to whining...
it's true.
cuz if I'm not happy...nobody else will be either. Cuz that's how I like it.
don't judge. It's an excellent way to fulfill my wicked stepmother duties!
*ahem*
We FINALLY made it through the sea of humanity.
only to bump into yet another wave.
*sigh*
We had parked the Kid Transporter and hopped into the seemingly empty Fast Pass line...but of course this is mirage...perhaps brought on by the blasted HEAT. A ways into the Fast Pass line time seemed to be stopped dead in its tracks. We waited for a good long time before it got moving again. It was the most BORING wait we had while at Disney. There were no friendly families to chitty chat with while we waited...We just stood for a long while waiting...and sweating...b/c there wasn't even a WHISPER of a wind. Thank goodness for the kids fans. Sally acted as the oscillator mechanism and moved back and forth between us. She's such a good girl!
Then there was a bit of shuffling. A rather large group was walking back towards us. I'm not sure why, but there was a lot of rapid fire talk and some angry faces. A CM directed the large group to join the Fast Pass line...which put them SMACK in front of us. There was a group behind us that seemed to know the group in front of us. Suddenly I realized that we were stuck in the middle of a school group from France. They were NOT big fans of Speed Stick...or even soap. My eyes were watering. It was that bad.
Why oh WHY did we keep finding ourselves smack in the middle of armpit alley?! Does this happen to anyone else?
The gags started up soon after...which caused me to start giggling uncontrollably b/c I did NOT want to throw up in line!
Jay was laughing too b/c we were pretty much stuck. I was fixing to jump the line, Sally was pointing out large leafy plants that I could throw up in without a lot of notice, and Teddy kept sniffing himself like a little puppy. He couldn't believe that he smelled that bad, but he was pretty sure it HAD to be him!
It was one of those sweaty, intensely human moments in life.
Thankfully the line started moving at a pretty quick clip. We kept a distance as we followed behind. The stench started to dissipate as we moved through the velvety air towards the trucks.
It seems there had been a bit of a ruckus caused by the group that had been sent back. There were three large groups of these students. The CM's had decided that they were too rowdy all together, so they split the groups up and sent one back to wait. I'm not really sure exactly what or why...but the students were NOT happy about it. I heard snippets of CM conversation here and there. General obnoxiousness had ensued was the gist of it.
FINALLY it was our turn...and we didn't have any of the Stinktown Crew on board with us either! If I had had to sit downwind of that stench, I'd have had to go ahead and die right there.
seriously.
And just to add a little icing to the cake...guess who got to sit in the front of the Safari vehicle?!
WE DID!!!
I'll tell y'all, the Campbellscot's were feeling the front row love on this trip! Clearly the CM's in every park could see that we were VIP's!!!
I think Otters must have called ahead...told em we were on the way!
*ahem*
Sitting in the front is AWESOME according to Sally!
she's right. it is!
Jay and I shuffled around a bit so that Sally and Teddy could be on the outside...after we had a very serious conversation with Teddy about keeping his rump GLUED to the seat or ELSE. We didn't want him jumping ship to go pat a hippo or say howdy to a lion. It wouldn't be too far of a stretch for Teddy to think that might be a good idea.
I people seat belted him anyway. I'm not a very trusting soul!
here's the back of our field guide's head! ah the perks of front row sitting!
see Sally?
This is a pretty cool ride as far as I'm concerned! Something fun about seeing wild critters lounging about!
Teddy suddenly gave a squeal and pointed...(which normally I'd frown at him about...I don't like pointing...but I supposed it was okay considering we were on a safari ride. I reminded myself to quit being so rigid!

like that's even POSSIBLE...but I was TRYING!)
"LOOKIT MISSCAMMIE!! A BAOBAB TREE!!!"
The driver gave a bit of a chuckle...I think Teddy beat him to the punch!
Teddy wasn't done. That child has information stuffed into every part of his brain!
"MissCammie, Baobab trees are leafless for 9 months of the year! The grow in Africa and can live for over a THOUSAND years! That's old right?"
"Yes Teddy, that is OLD."
Sally threw a look at Teddy and told him to STOP shouting...please.
The people behind us were laughing. Teddy is pretty darn cute...and informative...and he does tend to shout when excited. He has a loud voice as it is, just like his daddy.
He was bouncing in his seat...so I tightened my people seat belt and reminded him to keep his rump on the seat.
I was to go on to say this about...84,000 more times.
Up next we saw:
Rhino-sauruses...as Teddy said.
And Ostriches! (sorry it's blurry! the ride is a wee bumpy!)
Not too far from the ostriches was a "pile of eggs"...(the blurry white blob is the pile of eggs...)
not too far from the pile of eggs was a zebra.
The ostriches were separated from the eggs by a little stand of trees, so the Zebra was much closer to the eggs than the ostriches.
Teddy considered what he was seeing for a moment.
Then without warning he gave a very loud excited squeal!
"MISSCAMMIE!!!! MISSCAMMIE!!! LOOKIT!!! ZEBRA EGGS!!!!"
Teddy's exclamation stopped the truck driver mid spiel. He started laughing. The whole truck was laughing. Teddy was so earnest in his awe of seeing Zebra eggs and so excited about this discovery...
The field guide said "Well folks, that is a first here on the Kilimanjaro Safari...Zebra Eggs!"
Sally was not nearly as endeared to her little brother as the rest of the crowd.
She gave him a withering look and said,
"Teddy...Zebras do NOT lay eggs."

<-that's exactly what she did.
Teddy is such a contradiction...he'll throw out tons of facts and figures on a dozen different things...but he's still baby enough to think that perhaps a Zebra could lay eggs!
Teddy wasn't concerned with what his sister thought either way. He had moved on to Lion awe!
I don't blame him...this guy was pretty awe worthy!
I know...a photographer I am not. But it was cool to get the lion mid-yawn!
Suddenly there was an emergency call to the field guide. Our Safari was cut short b/c of POACHERS!!!
We had to chase them down!!!
Teddy's eyes were pretty big as we headed off in search of wrong doing!
Sally's Eagle Eye was looking for the baby elephant. She looked at me and said "MissCammie is this real?!"
I raised my eyebrows and said,
"It sounds pretty real to me!"
*ahem*
THANKFULLY the little elephant was not harmed.
here is the BEST picture of the Safari...no applause please...
actually...THIS was the best picture!
The field guide turned around and thanked Teddy for his enthusiasm and for being so informative!
Teddy batted his little eyelashes and said,
"Any time. I went to a really good nursery school!"
I'm not kidding. That is exactly what he said.
tricky little pootsnorkel...makes us think he's not paying attention...he hears every word we say!
We all really enjoyed our Safari. Teddy was rarin to go on again...
But we still had some Kali River Rapid-ing to do! The rain clouds seemed to have backed off some. The sun was shining and it was SO hot my flip flops melted.
seriously.
it was THAT hot.
The rumblings of thunder were freaking me out too...
would we make it to Kali River?
Up next..."It's raining UP!"