After such a busy morning of paintbrush finding and righting of wrongs, we were all ready for a snack!!! Our clothes were still damp and steamy and GROSS. Teddy kept pulling on the neck of his shirt...which he does all the time...but when a shirt is wet it stays stretched...so the neck of his shirt was pert near to his belly button by lunch time. Even though I had told him to stop it...several times...he has the memory of Dory...so he kept doing it...and my requests to stop sounded a lot like this:
Me: Teddy...quit pulling on your shirt buddy...you are stretching it out.
Teddy: Okay MissCammie...*pull*
Me: TEDDY...stop with the shirt pulling. Please.
Teddy: Okay MissCammie...*pullyankpull*
Me:Teddy...if you don't stop that I am going to have to staple your hands to your shorts. Do you understand me?!
Teddy: *giggle* MissCammmmeeeeee...you can't staple things through people's bones! The staple would break!
Me: Well I'm willing to try...so give the shirt tugging a rest.
Teddy: Okay *pullputshirtinmymouthpull*
Me: THEADORE JAMES LAST-NAME-THAT-ISN'T-MINE-YET-BUT-WILL-BE!!
Teddy: what?
Me:
It was time for a new shirt. I just can't stand for a child to be in a shirt that is ten times TOO big for him and now has a stretched out neck. It makes me nuts. And it looks sloppy. And I figured he was doing so much pulling b/c the shirt was so damp and would not dry and he wasn't comfortable...but he never complained about it. He's an easy going kid. SO new shirt time!!!
BUT since we were right here in front of Big Thunder Mountain RailRoad...we HAD to ride...it was time for the fastpasses we had gotten before going to Tom Sawyers Island.
Teddy was stoked. Sally was not so sure.
"MissCammie...how fast is it?"
Before I could answer Teddy said
"It's SO FAST Sally. It's ZOOMING FAST...and people can FALL OUT sometimes...it's so fast..."
I slapped him with a look that said ZIP IT KIDDO.
I SWEAR the child winked at me...and then pulled on his shirt.
Sally rolled her eyes at her brother. I imagine she was having an inner Donald moment of her own!
"MissCammie, seriously...how fast is it?"
"Sally, seriously...you'll find out when we get on". I eyebrow arched her and she gave me the "you are the MEANEST person on the PLANET" look.
Which of course I smiled at...b/c that means I'm doing my duty as the Wicked Stepmother.
I handed her her fastpass for emphasis.
Jay gave her a loud zerbert to get her giggling, which it did...(y'all know what a zerbert is right? A loud rude noise made by blowing against your child's cheek...it's good for bad mood resolving!!"
"DAAAAAAADDDYYYYYY!!!! Stop that!!!!"
"DAUGHTER!!! Smile already!!!"
So Sally smiled, squared her shoulders and we all marched towards BTMRR!!
The fast pass line seems long on this ride. Almost as long as the line with people who either don't know about fast pass, can't figure out how to get a fastpass...or don't mind standing in the sweltering heat for 50 minutes for a two minute ride...
WE do not like standing in line for 50 minutes for anything...because we are impatient types. And we don't like it when our kids whine...or other people's kids whine....or WE start to whine. know what I mean?
We had been in line about five minutes and every minute had brought more humidity...it was HOT in there and we were packed in there like SARDINES...and some people in line actually SMELLED like sardines...which was wreaking havoc with my touchy gag reflex. As I had mentioned earlier, I was having a hard time controlling the barfing...it was really awful for someone who is as controlling as i am. I actually started gagging...it was that bad. But I was gagging quietly. because I DO have manners!
Sally knows the signs by now. She looked up at me and said
"MissCammie...are you going throw up...again like you did at the mall?"
Teddy piped up "That was SO cool!"
I shook my head at her...and slapped Teddy around with a "zip it" look...but I was still gagging a little bit. SOMEBODY in that line must have rolled around in a sardine can that morning. I'm NOT kidding. Even Teddy was wrinkling his little nose.
Sally didn't quite believe me, so she got out her little fan and turned it on and held it in front of my face. She is SUCH a good girl.
"Thanks Sal."
"MissCammie...there should be a RULE about people taking baths before they come to Disneyworld...Right MissCammie?"
I nodded my head and tried not to breathe too deeply and gagged again...which caused me to throw up in my mouth a little...which only made the gagging worse...and louder..this situation was getting desperate. I did NOT want to be the person that shut down the ride b/c I barfed in line. I would just die. And I would NEVER be allowed to forget it. And barfing at Disney is like barfing at church...you just don't do it. You can't barf on the house that Walt built!!Jay looked at me with his critical eye.
"Cam...you look like you are going to pass out..are you going to pass out?"
I thought perhaps I was. It may have been the short shallow breathing...or the heat...or the sweaty arms that kept bumping in to me. I was in my own personal dark dark place! I started to see black.
Jay put his arm around me in a "holding me up" kind of way.
then Teddy says loudly "MissCammie...I think I need a BATH because something STINKS AROUND HERE!!"
I love it. Even Teddy blames himself when there is a bad smell. Sally answered him with:
"Teddy MissCammie does NOT feel good. And only a grown up man can smell THIS bad!"
Amen Sister!!!
All the people around us started laughing. I started laughing which got my blood moving again. It was the hysterical "I think I'm going to barf" laughing, but it helped. And it was almost our turn. Jay took my bag. Sally held my hand and we made our way down the ramp. Once we got there though, Sally ditched my hand with a quick pat and said,
"I'm riding with Daddy MissCammie...are you okay? Because I have to ride with Daddy...okay?"
Sally wasn't taking ANY chances with her life. Not even for her ailing step mother.
"Okay Sal...I'm with Teddy. We'll be okay"
Teddy was bouncing in anticpation...and pulling his shirt...which was now hanging off one shoulder like a 1980's tee shirt dress. All he needed was a spiral perm and some leg warmers and he'd be all set.
FINALLY it was our turn to get on the train!!! We were somewhere in the middle, just behind Sally and Jay.
the barf feeling was subsiding some...I think it was the breeze as we pulled out of the station.
I love this ride. It's so much fun. It's fast enough for a thrill but it doesn't knock your teeth loose either. Just right.
Teddy was SCREAM laughing all the way. I gave a little scream myself when Teddy's body lifted out of the car as we went over a hill. I grabbed him and plastered him to my side and held on for dear life. GOOD GRACIOUS, this child is so teeny. And to top it off, the little dare devil was throwing his arms up in the air.
"TEDDY, HOLD ON!"
He didn't hear me. He was having so much fun being thrown around and lifted off his seat...dancing on the edge of DEATH if you will. The barf feeling had been replaced by a heart attack feeling!
Teddy wasn't at all worried about being thrown out of the ride. When it ended he wanted to go on again. RIGHT NOW!
I asked Sally how she'd liked it. I didn't think she'd been all that fond of it, considering that she'd clung to jay's arm the whole time and only watched with one eye open.
But she surprised me with:
"It was fun. Sort of scary. Wasn't it a little bit scary Teddy?"
"NO WAY! It was AWESOME. Besides, MissCammie was a PEOPLE seat belt right MissCammie?"
He wasn't scared b/c he knew that I had a hold of him. Now if the whole world could have their own personal people seatbelt, we'd all be a bit better off!
My tummy gave a rumble, which was good b/c it meant that there was nothing in there to throw up...and bad b/c I hungry which was going to start me grumping soon.
"Okay babe, your wife needs to eat!"
We dumped everything on to the kid transporter, including the kids, and headed towards Pecos Bills! We actually like there. We love the often maligned Peanut Butter Mousse Brownie!! If you ask Jay what his favorite desert at Disneyworld is, he'll immediately say "The Peanut Butter Brownie from Pecos Bills!" We'd eaten at some of the nicer places at disneyworld last summer on our honeymoon...the TWO CREDIT per person places...the SIGNATURE places...and Jay picked the Peanut Butter Brownie from Pecos Bill's.
Other than the fact that it's just about 700 calories and 40 grams of fat for just that ONE serving...I like it too! Although one has to wonder how any one teensy serving can have that many calories in it.
Does this bug anyone else? Is it just me?
It's probably just me.
Anyhow...we headed on over through the crush of people towards the brownie heaven!
The lines weren't too bad. Which was good. We needed nourishment NOW! We all got in line and waited. We don't tend to "find a table first". I just use "the Secret" and envision our table waiting for us when we need it...it SO works...seriously...it does...
*ahem*
But there was a curious happening in the table area at Pecos Bills. There was a CM standing in the area and he wasn't letting people sit down if they did not have food with them!
Now as y'all can probably imagine this was leading to all sorts of screeching from the people who are MUCH more tired and hot and in need of a table than people who have trays full of food, and kids in tow, and bags...searching in vain for an empty table. Serves them right for not thinking ahead right?
right.
*ahem*
We made our way through a group of people who were arguing with the CM about "the rules". We got to hear a woman shouting:
"I PAY to be here. I PAID for my TICKETS to this PARK! If I want to sit down ALL DAY at a Table and NEVER ORDER, THAT IS MY RIGHT!"
She then produced the "Disney Guest Bill of Rights" and pointed to article number 19, paragraph 2 that described said "right".
WRONG.
Seriously, I understand people being tired and hot. It WAS hot and humid that day. I understand wanting to sit down. But I'm not sure I would go to the lengths this woman was going to just to sit down. She wasn't too tired to shout, that's for dang sure.
It seems that Disney is attempting to control table snagging during the heaviest traffic times. It's a good idea...in theory. But people just aren't nice any more. It's every man for themselves. And there are going to be traffic jam issues I'm sure. And people do not want to be told what to do...by anyone. Ever. Especially NOT at Disneyworld.
The CM was doing his best to explain his reasoning for standing there. The woman was getting more and more irate. Then her husband showed up behind her with their tray of food. The woman huffed by the CM with a "Well can we SIT DOWN NOW?! ARE WE ALLOWED?!"
Goodness...somebody stepped in a SNARKY pile this morning! GRRRRouch!
Sally was simultaneously fascinated and horrified by all of the adult tantrums she had witnessed since we'd arrived.
She was having Alice in Wonderland moments I think. Curiouser and Curiouser!
We sat down to eat. FINALLY! And the food wasn't bad. I had a wrap thingie. Jay had a cheeseburger and the kids had chicken strips and carrot sticks. They love carrot sticks. I think they pretty much survived on carrot sticks on this trip. Cuz not much chicken strip made it into the tummies. But I had planned ahead and packed fish crackers and cheerios in the "bag" of wonder. My camo bag that is actually a diaper bag for men...it's called a "Diaper Dude"!
It is supposed to be the antidote for frilly, girly, bunny covered diaper bags that are kryptonite to most men. You can get the bags in camo, or black with skulls on the pockets...or dragons...or in brown and orange...very TOUGH looking bags... I think they are supposed to encourage men to take charge of the diaper bag...or to take their kids out for trips to the park...imagine a bag doing all that...probably not so much...but it's a great idea...in theory...
*ahem*
It is a GREAT park bag let me tell you! Room for everything!!!
Jay was in HEAVEN when he made it to the brownie. I kept the sticker from the packaging so that I could try and locate these brownies and have them shipped to our house! Merry CHRISTMAS!!!!
I took a bite or two of my own brownie and then handed it over to Jay. I am a good wife. And I'm afraid of that much fat in one place. Because I have issues. Jay is NOT afraid of such things and accepted the brownie with much joy!
Pootsnorkel can eat five of those things and burn it off by breathing!
NOT FAIR!!
After we finished up we decided to head towards Tomorrowland...maybe take a spin on the TTA...and hit my FAVORITE ride ever, The Carousel of Progress!! I absolutely LOVE this attraction. Love it. It's a Walt Classic!!!
But FIRST we had to get Teddy a new T-shirt. I couldn't take one more second of that stretched out neck. Not one! So we piled the kiddos into the kid transporter and headed for Tomorrowland and the nearest T-shirt shop!
We were ALMOST there when Teddy caught a glimpse of Stitch signing autographs!
"MISSCAMMIE!!! It's STITCH!! LOOK!!! CAN WE GET IN LINE BEFORE IT CLOSES FOR TEN MINUTES?!"
Teddy had not forgotten our constant bad luck with characters the night before.
The line wasn't long, so we parked and everybody scrambled into line. I personally love Lilo and Stitch the movie. I love the idea of Ohana. I cried several times during that movie...I know...BIG SHOCK!! But it's got a good message! I often remind Sally of "Ohana" when she is very annoyed with her brother and wanting very much to lock him in a closet...do y'all know what that child says to me? She says "MissCammie I am NOT Hawaiian...I'm Italian and we have BAD tempers!"
not kidding. That is what she said. She's Scottish too...but her Scottish side is descended from the murderous rogues who roamed the countryside...they weren't a clan one wanted to cross...so perhaps she was right. Bad temper was in the hard drive!
anyhow...we got in line for Stitch. The photopass guy was there, so we all got into the picture. Everyone looks sweaty...and squinty...and I have WAY too much stuff in my diaper dude. Poor Stitch must have been DYING.
can y'all SEE how low that neck line had gotten?!
As it happened, we were RIGHT there by the Carousel of Progress! A new show was starting. So I made an effort not to look at Teddy's shirt and how it hung down to his knees at this point and we all went into the CoP!!!
I love this ride. I really really do. It's interesting. And I love the dog. And I love how it smells so old and musty in the building...we're breathing the same air that Walt Disney himself probably breathed in and out...(okay probably not, but it's a neato thought!). It's so funny to see the final scene and what was projected to be "the future"...the talking oven...and the virtual reality game. The big clunky computer was replaced with a laptop I noticed. They used to have a Commodore 64 looking thing...my dad had one of those...it was old when I was little. But I remember it.
Teddy was FASCINATED with the dog. He wanted to know if the dog could see us? Can it smell us? Is it hungry? Does it ever go outside? What kind of dog food does it eat? Does the man ever pet the dog? Does the dog bite people? On and on it went. He just could not get enough of that dog!
Besides being fun, the kids know the song from the Parks soundtrack that we play constantly. So they sang along and enjoyed knowing something that maybe other people didn't know.
When it was over, Sally commented that the show was "very educational".
Teddy said "I like the Dog!! I wish we could pet him!!"
*yankpullyank* on the shirt.
RAR!
"Jay if we do not get that child a new shirt right this very minute I-just-don't know-what!"
Teddy threw his head back and laughed.
"MissCammie, Talk TEXAS again!!!"
my threats of I-don't-know-what don't seem very worrisome to Teddy and Sally...mostly they just laugh at me.
But I was serious. New Shirt. Now. PERIOD.
We went into the nearest gift shop. We found a nice, still too big, but not huge red T-shirt with Stitch on a dirt bike. The best thing was that it was under $20. It was still outrageously priced for what it was...but we were at Disney, so we were happy with what we found!
Jay took Teddy to the bathroom to change. Sally nailed me with a frown.
"MissCammie...did Teddy pay for that with his own Disney money?"
"Um, no Sal. That was grown up money..."
"Oh..."
*heavy silence*
"MissCammie. My shirt is wet. But I didn't complain. And Teddy just RUINED his shirt and didn't follow directions because he kept pulling on his shirt and he got a new shirt."
"What's your point Sal?"
I knew full well what her point was. But I wanted her to think about what she wanted and TELL me. Sally will sit on her wants and needs and just stew or she'll hem and haw and circle around the point hoping someone will say it for her. She was struggling with wanting to follow the "no whining" rule and wanting very much to know if she was going to get a new shirt too...and if she did, would she have to pay for it? This was a fairness issue. Things being fair is almost as important as following rules.
"Well, my point is that I was wondering if since Teddy got a new shirt if maybe because my shirt is wet too if I might get a shirt too...with grown up money..."
I hugged her. That was hard for Sally. But she did it.
"Yes SallySue, I know your shirt is wet too and I really appreciate that you didn't whine about it. We'll find you a new shirt...and buy it with grown up money."
"Can it be a tank top...maybe?"
brave girl sally.
Teddy and Jay arrived soon after. Teddy looked MUCH better. He's very handsome in red!
Teddy loves Stitch. Sally says it's b/c they are both gross. She could be right. Stitch is very little boy friendly...which is why Teddy was so excited when he spotted Stitch's ride.
Stitch's Great Escape. Quite possibly the most FOUL ride...ever...in existence. I was so incredibly grossed out last summer at being BURPED on...and SPIT on. I'm gagging now just thinking of it.
But Teddy wanted to go on it so badly. I was more than willing to let him...and Jay go on it...
The child read my mind though.
"MissCammie I want us ALL to go on the ride...like a family...together"
He knew I was about to suggest that he and Daddy go on it.
Jay laughed b/c he knew I was caught.
*sigh*
Well...they know I have a touchy gag reflex...so if I barf on someone...so be it...
Sally was giving me a very serious look. She DISTINCTLY remembered MissCammie talking about a ride that was so WRONG and so GROSS that I wasn't sure I would ever recover...or something dramatic like that.
"MissCammie...is this the gross ride? Is it?"
"Well kiddo, it's Stitch. I suppose we should all experience it..."
So we got into line...and we were herded through the queue and the preshow and then LOCKED into those horrible chairs.
Sally did NOT like this.
"MissCammie, this is heavy. We aren't moving are we? Why is this so heavy?"
I just smiled at her.
The ride was as gross as I remembered. Stitch's hot stinky chili breath burp right in our faces. Being spit on. But I was able to contain the gag reflex b/c I knew it was going to happen.
Sally did not know this was going to happen...she was beside herself. It was a little funny. She had her hand clamped over her mouth and nose. The look in her eyes was death to Stitch.
Teddy had a blast. He LOVED it. He wanted to go on it again. RIGHT NOW!
"Stitch URPED and BURPED!! That was SO COOL!!!" I don't really know what Teddy thought an "urp" was...but he found it terribly amusing!
Sally didn't say a word until we got outside. She kept her hands clamped over her mouth and nose until we got into the fresh air.
Jay asked her what she thought.
She whipped around and looked her daddy in the eye.
"THAT was BATHROOM HUMOR. And it was GROSS and DISGUSTING and I can't EVEN BELIEVE that Mickey would be friends with such a GROSS ALIEN. HE BURPED IN MY FACE!!!!!"
Oh my gosh I died. She was so offended by Stitch she was shaking with it. She stomped over to the kid transporter and sat down with a huff.
Poor Sally.
Wow...it had been an adventurous first half of the day!
It was barely 1 o'clock!
up next: Another foul smell befalls us...
is someone very special.
Really, I can't imagine how that message might get to her . . . 
:
Please people let's stick with her trip report!! Feeling the need to defend "biological" mothers really needs to stay off of HER thread!! It's all about the "magic" of Disney and seeing it through the children's eyes NOT "step-mom VS "biological mom".......continue on MissCammie you are a great writer of trip-reports!!! Loving it so far!!
