A cockroach biting my butt.... The End 7/21 #285
- Thread starter Mr._The_King
- Start date
wishinonastar2goback
Earning My Ears
- Joined
- Nov 8, 2005
- Messages
- 28
I'd have been right there with you wasting those 'booers'. Jerks...
Mr._The_King
Mouseketeer
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2006
- Messages
- 464
Loved the latest chapter as usual, can't wait for the Kingdom report.
Thanks! I can't wait to write it.Now all the DISers trying to concieve will have ADR for Italy! Hurry up ladies make your ressies early!You are always so funny...don't you want to go back in Aug with us so we can laugh the entire time?! I wish you had video of your mom running....what a hoot!
I always want to go back. I will let you know if we change it to August. Mr. The King is in the middle of a job change so are vacations are up for grabs. We would
a lot 
OMG you are too funny!! I have tears rolling down my face as I read your potty adventures.
MR
I am so glad you liked it
I am loving you loving this trip report
I'd have been right there with you wasting those 'booers'. Jerks...
I would have loved to have back up. It was really so heartbreaking to witness.
Amazing how painful it is! Didn't it hurt so much the next day
Chris
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Mar 5, 2005
- Messages
- 1,055
PittypatBR
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Mar 5, 2007
- Messages
- 801
It is so hard to make the right transportation decision! 
Boat? Bus? Monorail? Monorail to Epcot and then bus? No wonder people unfamiliar with WDW ask about walking from one place to another! Your son is such a sweetie. I can't believe he blackmailed Crush! PS must have been really happy.
I can report that my DD and I share the same sense of humor, because when I was visiting her last week I pulled up your TR for her to read, and she laughed 'til tears ran down her face just like I did. It was the bathroom incident that got her the most, because we could both relate to that so strongly.
Your PS is the same age as our Wild Child. 
Boat? Bus? Monorail? Monorail to Epcot and then bus? No wonder people unfamiliar with WDW ask about walking from one place to another! Your son is such a sweetie. I can't believe he blackmailed Crush! PS must have been really happy. I can report that my DD and I share the same sense of humor, because when I was visiting her last week I pulled up your TR for her to read, and she laughed 'til tears ran down her face just like I did. It was the bathroom incident that got her the most, because we could both relate to that so strongly.
Your PS is the same age as our Wild Child. 
Pollito916
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Feb 6, 2005
- Messages
- 2,145
I just found your trip report and it is one of the best I have read in a while! I also think you might be my long lost twin - we both fart pixie dust that smells like roses! 
wishinonastar2goback
Earning My Ears
- Joined
- Nov 8, 2005
- Messages
- 28
Waiting for more...10 days now...your readers await more lmao moments......seriously, hope all's well, and you're not having another bout with the sickie 
stuff...Looking forward to more good reading from you
...seriously, hope all's well, and you're not having another bout with the sickie stuff...Looking forward to more good reading from you
Mr._The_King
Mouseketeer
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2006
- Messages
- 464
Waiting for more...10 days now...your readers await more lmao moments...
No, we are not throwing up! We had the end of the school year. I volunteer in PS's classroom a ton and we wrapped up soccer as well. I hope to get the next chapter up tonight
Thank you for reading and remembering my little cockroach story
Mr._The_King
Mouseketeer
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2006
- Messages
- 464
Chapter 9
So Mrs. The King has learned some things in the time between my last chapter and this one. First off, Never ask Mr. The King “How was your day?” when he is in the middle of Hasselhoffing a burger . Second, Vagisil and Orajel are two very different products in alarmingly similar packages.
Back to the trip report.
Where were we? Oh that is right! I was wisely deciding to take the Kings to the superpackedalious Magic Kingdom.. As we finish up our time at Innoventions, we head to the Disney Visa pictures. Two cast members are waiting. We show our Disney card, and unlike last time, It actually gets us something special in Disney. The kids walk in before us. Who is there but PLUTO
and MICKEY
!!! The kids’ two favorite characters! Disney Magic. The kids come out glowing and laughing. I love that special little place. We have fun posing for pictures.
Before we set off to the Kingdom, we decide to make a few essiantial purchases. Mostly Crocs and Croc jibblitz (as PS calls them). We wander over to Mouse Gear. We instantly wish we printed money for a living. The kids pick out some little trinkets. Disney Bus toys and Chip and Dale holding hands in their new outfits. And of course Pluto, in his new outfit. And a monorail. And a shirt for Mr. The King. And a Christmas ornament, because we always get a Christmas ornament. Mr. The King and I decide to go “a little crazy
”. We would make better adult impersonators if we did this less often. All it takes is a Tuesday, a store and one of the two of us getting a wild hair.
So we stand in front of the glistening rubber/styrofoam of the Mickey Head Crocs. The stand is taller than us. The colors are glorious and plentiful. I am already wearing a pair of Crocs. Only in Disney would you buy the same exact shoes you are already wearing, to swap them for ones with Mickey shaped holes. As a matter of fact, I wanted those pink Crocs so bad, I would have eaten my black pair if it was a requirement to get the Mickey ones. Do they pump in anesthetic to numb the financial reasoning button in your brain?
So I pick out the right size, and glance at Mr. The King. He is looking at his feet. Then he is looking at the Mickey Crocs. Then at his feet. Hmm. I wonder. He has always bucked the Crocs I have tried to force on him. Like a dog afraid of the vacuum. He thinks they are girly. Real men won’t wear Crocs.
In amazement I realize that Disney has the power to smooth over gender boundries like icing on a cake
. We are all unisex in Disney. Like the Ken and Barbie dolls with nothing in their pants. Mr. The King is willing to stomp on his manliness to purchase more Disney products. Disney marketers are geniuses and we are easy prey.
Me -“Would you like a pair?”
Him- “No... well... I mean I couldn’t wear them in public or non-Disney public anyway”
Me-“Only the Drive thru people think you are a girl, no one else, I promise”
I think of just the week before, waiting with the kids and Mr. The King to be seated at Cheeseburger in Paradise. The lady across from us whips out an exact replica of Mr. The King's brand new pride and joy, the Cherry Chocolate Verizon phone. It matches her bag so nicely. Then the next lady we see is wearing the same Keen sandals as Mr. The King
.
I don’t remind him.
Him-“Well, I could wear them walking the dogs”
He had a wild hair... in a store... so it’s on like Donkey Kong.
With Two pairs of grown up Crocs and Jibblitz for the kids, and Jibblitz for my new pink Crocs and all the other necessities we picked out we waddle over to to the check out. As we are waiting, we notice a lovely throw. With Mickey and all the parks represented. Me and Mr. The King make happy noises about the blanket. It would look so nice in our living room, folded just so. We load up our “essentials” to be checked out. We are informed by the bubbly cast member, that we have spent so much money we are entitled to buy three blankets! Well, we felt like we won the lotto. Disney is letting us buy more stuff! We can buy three blankets! We are so lucky. Excited chatter from the Kings.
Him-“Should we buy all three?”
Me-“But of course, we are ENTITLED to them!
”
Him-
Mr. The King talks me down. We buy one. Look at those woman Crocs giving him some sense. Maybe they were a good idea. Next, we are informed that the jibblitz do not work in the grown up Crocs. They fall out. Do I put back my Jibblitz? No! Now I can Disneyfy my old boring black crocs. I am so glad I didn’t eat them.
We get outside and of course, find a bench near those giant bouncing balls. Those cast members have so much fun throwing those things around. And we put on our Mickey Head Crocs. There is peace in my soul. Finally, I was home in Disney with the Disney approved shoes, I can relax now. Mr. The King is having issues. He is slap flopping around in huge woman Crocs. They are way too big. Mr. The King worries about returning Crocs that he has already walked in. Please man, we are in Disney take those suckers back! He returns with the next smaller size. And they are too small. Mr. The King has an unorthodox, unDisney approved foot size, apparently. I know, I was shocked too. We are working through it, with counseling and lots of booze...but it has been rough. He makes due with the small Crocs by wearing them with the band up. Shame on his foot .
We head towards the front of Epcot. I remember at the last minute to pick up our free Disney Visa picture. We wave goodbye to our tiny tiny heads. And get into the van at the end of the row. Which we couldn't find because our clever little Mickey antenna ball is rendered useless in a Disney lot (Also Wal-Mart, Target, The school parking lot and pretty much everywhere except our driveway). I beg Mr. The King to just hit the panic button and we'll find the van but this is apparently like asking him to pull over and ask for directions (the anesthetic gender smoothing magic does not reach all the way to the parking lot). Finally, he agrees to press the button but the van makes no noises.
PC says "man our van is calm."
"What do you mean" I ask.
"Well it dosen't even panic when you hit the button"
.
Eventually We find the van at the very end of the row where we left it. Have Park Hoppers will hop!
So we hop to the Kingdom. There is something very different about the King mobile. Something important has changed since the Jiggler was parked in its vehicle. Can you remember what it was?
That’s right, I was in the backseat. Now I am in the front seat. My Mother
had gone home with my father. With her went our handy dandy free cast memeber parking. Usually we have luxurious, multiple day visits with a happy resort pass living on our dashboard. The Kings don’t think of this until they are one car away from the parking attendant.
Do they take credit cards? No
Do we have cash? No
I dig around in my Bagallini and come up with $6.40. Parking is more than that. Mr. and Mrs. The King look at each other with eyes as wide as saucers
. Will our hop be a flop?
So Mrs. The King has learned some things in the time between my last chapter and this one. First off, Never ask Mr. The King “How was your day?” when he is in the middle of Hasselhoffing a burger
. Second, Vagisil and Orajel are two very different products in alarmingly similar packages. Back to the trip report.
Where were we? Oh that is right! I was wisely deciding to take the Kings to the superpackedalious Magic Kingdom.. As we finish up our time at Innoventions, we head to the Disney Visa pictures. Two cast members are waiting. We show our Disney card, and unlike last time, It actually gets us something special in Disney. The kids walk in before us. Who is there but PLUTO
and MICKEY !!! The kids’ two favorite characters! Disney Magic. The kids come out glowing and laughing. I love that special little place. We have fun posing for pictures.Before we set off to the Kingdom, we decide to make a few essiantial purchases. Mostly Crocs and Croc jibblitz (as PS calls them). We wander over to Mouse Gear. We instantly wish we printed money for a living. The kids pick out some little trinkets. Disney Bus toys and Chip and Dale holding hands in their new outfits. And of course Pluto, in his new outfit. And a monorail. And a shirt for Mr. The King. And a Christmas ornament, because we always get a Christmas ornament. Mr. The King and I decide to go “a little crazy
”. We would make better adult impersonators if we did this less often. All it takes is a Tuesday, a store and one of the two of us getting a wild hair. So we stand in front of the glistening rubber/styrofoam of the Mickey Head Crocs. The stand is taller than us. The colors are glorious and plentiful. I am already wearing a pair of Crocs. Only in Disney would you buy the same exact shoes you are already wearing, to swap them for ones with Mickey shaped holes. As a matter of fact, I wanted those pink Crocs so bad, I would have eaten my black pair if it was a requirement to get the Mickey ones. Do they pump in anesthetic to numb the financial reasoning button in your brain?
So I pick out the right size, and glance at Mr. The King. He is looking at his feet. Then he is looking at the Mickey Crocs. Then at his feet. Hmm. I wonder. He has always bucked the Crocs I have tried to force on him. Like a dog afraid of the vacuum. He thinks they are girly. Real men won’t wear Crocs.
In amazement I realize that Disney has the power to smooth over gender boundries like icing on a cake
. We are all unisex in Disney. Like the Ken and Barbie dolls with nothing in their pants. Mr. The King is willing to stomp on his manliness to purchase more Disney products. Disney marketers are geniuses and we are easy prey. Me -“Would you like a pair?”
Him- “No... well... I mean I couldn’t wear them in public or non-Disney public anyway”
Me-“Only the Drive thru people think you are a girl, no one else, I promise”
I think of just the week before, waiting with the kids and Mr. The King to be seated at Cheeseburger in Paradise. The lady across from us whips out an exact replica of Mr. The King's brand new pride and joy, the Cherry Chocolate Verizon phone. It matches her bag so nicely. Then the next lady we see is wearing the same Keen sandals as Mr. The King
.I don’t remind him.
Him-“Well, I could wear them walking the dogs”
He had a wild hair... in a store... so it’s on like Donkey Kong.
With Two pairs of grown up Crocs and Jibblitz for the kids, and Jibblitz for my new pink Crocs and all the other necessities we picked out we waddle over to to the check out. As we are waiting, we notice a lovely throw. With Mickey and all the parks represented. Me and Mr. The King make happy noises about the blanket. It would look so nice in our living room, folded just so. We load up our “essentials” to be checked out. We are informed by the bubbly cast member, that we have spent so much money we are entitled to buy three blankets! Well, we felt like we won the lotto. Disney is letting us buy more stuff! We can buy three blankets! We are so lucky. Excited chatter from the Kings.
Him-“Should we buy all three?”
Me-“But of course, we are ENTITLED to them!
”Him-
Mr. The King talks me down. We buy one. Look at those woman Crocs giving him some sense. Maybe they were a good idea. Next, we are informed that the jibblitz do not work in the grown up Crocs. They fall out. Do I put back my Jibblitz? No! Now I can Disneyfy my old boring black crocs. I am so glad I didn’t eat them.
We get outside and of course, find a bench near those giant bouncing balls. Those cast members have so much fun throwing those things around. And we put on our Mickey Head Crocs. There is peace in my soul. Finally, I was home in Disney with the Disney approved shoes, I can relax now. Mr. The King is having issues. He is slap flopping around in huge woman Crocs. They are way too big. Mr. The King worries about returning Crocs that he has already walked in. Please man, we are in Disney take those suckers back! He returns with the next smaller size. And they are too small. Mr. The King has an unorthodox, unDisney approved foot size, apparently. I know, I was shocked too. We are working through it, with counseling and lots of booze...but it has been rough. He makes due with the small Crocs by wearing them with the band up. Shame on his foot
.We head towards the front of Epcot. I remember at the last minute to pick up our free Disney Visa picture. We wave goodbye to our tiny tiny heads. And get into the van at the end of the row. Which we couldn't find because our clever little Mickey antenna ball is rendered useless in a Disney lot (Also Wal-Mart, Target, The school parking lot and pretty much everywhere except our driveway). I beg Mr. The King to just hit the panic button and we'll find the van but this is apparently like asking him to pull over and ask for directions (the anesthetic gender smoothing magic does not reach all the way to the parking lot). Finally, he agrees to press the button but the van makes no noises.
PC says "man our van is calm."
"What do you mean" I ask.
"Well it dosen't even panic when you hit the button"
. Eventually We find the van at the very end of the row where we left it. Have Park Hoppers will hop!
So we hop to the Kingdom. There is something very different about the King mobile. Something important has changed since the Jiggler was parked in its vehicle. Can you remember what it was?
That’s right, I was in the backseat. Now I am in the front seat. My Mother
had gone home with my father. With her went our handy dandy free cast memeber parking. Usually we have luxurious, multiple day visits with a happy resort pass living on our dashboard. The Kings don’t think of this until they are one car away from the parking attendant. Do they take credit cards? No
Do we have cash? No
I dig around in my Bagallini and come up with $6.40. Parking is more than that. Mr. and Mrs. The King look at each other with eyes as wide as saucers
. Will our hop be a flop?I am loving your TR. I too suffer from Disney Spendingitis. I am tempted to just hand over my wallet and all plastic when I check in. I pass the large gates amd all reasoning about budgets goes out the window. Two years ago I bought a pair of white sneakers because they had Mickey on them. I had a perfectly fine pair on but they didn't seem Disney enough for me. I hope they let you into the parking lot with less than $10. It would be undisneylike not to!
I hope they let you into the parking lot with less than $10. It would be undisneylike not to!
praisehisname
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Aug 5, 2003
- Messages
- 4,343
I'm so sorry to hear about your friend.
My aunt suffered from this disease, and my mom and I helped to care for her. If you need someone to talk to, let me know.Great installment--can't wait to hear if you got into MK or not!
Denise
Another brilliant chapter! I have a vision now of the Mr. The King goin' all drive thru at the drive thru wearing his girlie Crocs. I'm glad to hear you didn't have to eat your black Crocs. (they count as a snack credit on the DDP don't ya know). I'm so jealous, I need a Disney shopping spree in a bad way. Ruh-roh, you left us with a cliffhanger; can't wait to hear what happens next.
I'm sorry to hear about your friend. My uncle has ALS. Very sad.
I'm sorry to hear about your friend. My uncle has ALS. Very sad.
wishinonastar2goback
Earning My Ears
- Joined
- Nov 8, 2005
- Messages
- 28
THIS is how you leave us?!?! In the parking lot?!?! Short on cash?!?! Ah cruel author thou art heartless
Another great one. Loved PC's comment about the car. Those are the best moments. Our son has done some of those as well. Great memories and stories...
We'll be watching for more...school's out now, what better to do than to write more...unless of course you're going back to WDW first...
Another great one. Loved PC's comment about the car. Those are the best moments. Our son has done some of those as well. Great memories and stories...
We'll be watching for more...school's out now, what better to do than to write more...unless of course you're going back to WDW first...
LITTLEKID58
Platinum Castaway
- Joined
- Sep 22, 2001
- Messages
- 2,666
Great TR ...........TFS
castawaymam
Mouseketeer
- Joined
- Feb 11, 2007
- Messages
- 331
more I need more. I'm so addicted to your TR. Sorry to hear about your friend, she and her family will be in my prayers.
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