A child's friend going on spring break with us

[goofyme]

my son wants a friend to come on a spring break trip with us to the Smoky mtns. i am taking my five kids and parents. so what is the etiquette for this situation? do i pay for everything? pay just for food? have his parents pay for dollywood, dixie stamped, go karts, etc and i cover everything else? help me please. don't want to offend my but the friends added cost could be around $300 plus bucks

 

[Sparx]

I think if you invite, you should pay for everything except his souvenirs.

 

[Magic Mom]

I agree, you should pay.

 

[Art 1]

I think if you invite, you should pay for everything except his souvenirs.

Agree.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I think you should pay for at least all main travel expenses, lodging, meals... But, as a parent, I would never send my kid without giving a nice chunk of money (a couple hundred bucks is what had jumped to my mind) to help cover some expenses, and spending money for my kid, etc...

Your trip sounds great, the kids will love it!

 

[emma'smom]

I would expect to pay.

However, if the other parent offers and $$ is a concern, you might say "Oh, we'll cover housing, food, and transportation....if you want to send some $$, just send along some $$ for admissions to the activities and souveniers".

Honestly, if I were a parent and it was my kid, I would want to know how I can be helpful without offending the hosts. It would make me feel better, as a parent, to know that I helped to pay part of the bill for my kid.

 

[wilderness01]

I was asked a few times to take my child's friend to a competition that we were going to. I paid for the hotel and also paid for amusement/food. I just felt uncomfortable taking money from a kid. Good luck.

 

[Happy Gal]

I know many here would say since you are inviting you need to pay for everything... I look at it a little differently.

If you can afford it, then pay for everything except extra souvenirs. However, if you really can't afford the extra cost, offer the trip to the friend's parents before saying anything to the friend, and let them know the costs up front. If they want the friend to go they can pay for the costs. I would still pay for the meals.

We've taken my children's friends on many trips, and if I couldn't afford the extra child I would have no problem proposing the trip & costs to the parents. (However, I've never gone on a trip where we couldn't afford to pay for the child)

If my child was invited, I would expect to pay airfare and tickets to the themeparks, etc., and be grateful that he/she had the opportunity to participate in the adventure.

Whatever you decide to do, just let everyone know ahead of time what is expected.

 

[Christine]

I know many here would say since you are inviting you need to pay for everything... I look at it a little differently.

If you can afford it, then pay for everything except extra souvenirs. However, if you really can't afford the extra cost, offer the trip to the friend's parents before saying anything to the friend, and let them know the costs up front. If they want the friend to go they can pay for the costs. I would still pay for the meals.

We've taken my children's friends on many trips, and if I couldn't afford the extra child I would have no problem proposing the trip & costs to the parents. (However, I've never gone on a trip where we couldn't afford to pay for the child)

If my child was invited, I would expect to pay airfare and tickets to the themeparks, etc., and be grateful that he/she had the opportunity to participate in the adventure.

Whatever you decide to do, just let everyone know ahead of time what is expected.

This is what we did. One year, my DD wanted to take a friend to WDW. We were flying, getting a hotel, dining out, etc. The trip was really tight for me and I was really unable to foot the airfare, food, and tickets. I did have to get an extra room with the friend coming along. I paid for that. However, I told the mom that we would love to take her DD along but we couldn't pay her way. The parents had no problem and paid for their child's ticket and gave me $$$$ for admission tickets to the park and dining.

 

[SunshineOR]

I think you should offer to pay for it all and plan to pay for it all if you invite the kid. When we invite another child or take another child somewhere, I plan to pay for everything. If parents offer to help pay, I may accept some of the money but try to cover it because I feel it's not their obligation to pay for something that was our idea and our invitation. My son was recently invited on an outing and when we accepted, they then started listing the costs of how much money we'd need to give them for tickets, gas, food, souvenirs, snacks, etc. It ended up being very expensive and very awkward.

 

[Bluestars]

If you don't plan on paying for everything, I think it should be mentioned at the time of the invitation. However, when we invite kids along with us to amusement parks and vacations, we pay for everything. The parents always ask us what they can pay for and we tell them that they can send spending money if they want to.

I wouldn't invite someone on a trip if I wasn't able to pay their expenses. The only exception to this would be if it was a close family member or friend and we have some type of agreement about expenses ahead of time.

 

[SeaSpray]

goofyme, you have a large family already, so I'm sure that'll be a pretty big expense for your trip. I can't tell you what to do, but here's my experience:


When I was young and allowed to bring a friend on vacation, my parents paid for everything, except souvenirs. Now, DH and I do the same thing.

We recently invited DS19's girlfriend to join us when we go to Disney World in July. She'll stay with us at the Polynesian. I've already bought her plane ticket, and we'll cover all of her meals. Her only expense will be any souvenirs she wants to buy. This is just how DH and I like to do things; we feel it's just easier for us to plan the trip and cover the expenses of those we invite. If we couldn't afford it, we wouldn't have invited her, OR we would've asked her to cover her expenses.

Interestingly enough, her parents were planning a family cruise for June and had asked DS19 if he wanted to go, too. He would've had to pay for ALL of his own expenses, including the cruise fare. I have no problem with this at all, it would've been up to DS to decide if he wanted to spend his own money on the trip.

However, once her parents found out that we were all going to Disney World in July (and her other DD was going to be in CA for the summer), they decided to postpone the family cruise to next year, and they said they want to cover DS's costs at that time. I think this is really nice, and I told DS that I hope they didn't feel that they HAD to, just because we were covering GF's costs. He said that he didn't think they felt that way at all.

 

[MichelleinMaine]

Voting for the option where it is perfectly fine to tell the parents that you'd love to have their son along, but you'd not be able to pick up all the additional expenses. Explain you would pay for (hotel/transportation/food/whatever you're offering) and an estimate for the admissions/whatever else in your itinerary. If you're upfront about everything, I don't think this is offensive in the least. (You're making a big offer- to take their kid off their hands for a week- before you even get into money being spent!)

I think as long as it's discussed with the parents ahead of time (eg say nothing to the kids til you've talked to the parents) and you're very clear what you would/would not be paying for, I think this is completely reasonable. We're not talking about inviting a kid to the movies (in which case, yes, I would pay), this is a significantly more major expense.

 

[minkydog]

We are taking DD17s boyfriend with us on Spring Break. DD and BF have been bestfriends for a couple years, way long before they started dating. Since we invited him, we will pay for all his meals, entertainment, and lodging. Of course, we're going to be camping so it's pretty cheap. I told him to bring money for any extras and bring his bike. He and DD will have a little transportation that way.

We're going to Savannah, GA, staying in a state park that is between Savannah and Tybee Island. We'll take a day tour and a ghost tour, and we'll spend a day at the beach. My kids have never put feet in the Atlantic Ocean. We'll eat most meals at the camper, but I imagine we'll eat lunch out wherever we are.

I'll let you know if they're still speaking when we get back.

 

[Pakey]

We did many vacations with invited friends of one or more of our children and we always paid for everything.

 

[aprilgail2]

You invite you pay.

 

[golfgal]

I think you should pay for at least all main travel expenses, lodging, meals... But, as a parent, I would never send my kid without giving a nice chunk of money (a couple hundred bucks is what had jumped to my mind) to help cover some expenses, and spending money for my kid, etc...

Your trip sounds great, the kids will love it!

Same here. I would get a general idea of what was planned and send enough money for my child to get into and buy souvenirs. I would send enough money for food as well.

I know many here would say since you are inviting you need to pay for everything... I look at it a little differently.

If you can afford it, then pay for everything except extra souvenirs. However, if you really can't afford the extra cost, offer the trip to the friend's parents before saying anything to the friend, and let them know the costs up front. If they want the friend to go they can pay for the costs. I would still pay for the meals.

We've taken my children's friends on many trips, and if I couldn't afford the extra child I would have no problem proposing the trip & costs to the parents. (However, I've never gone on a trip where we couldn't afford to pay for the child)

If my child was invited, I would expect to pay airfare and tickets to the themeparks, etc., and be grateful that he/she had the opportunity to participate in the adventure.

Whatever you decide to do, just let everyone know ahead of time what is expected.

I am in the camp that if you can't afford to pay for 100% of the child's costs (except souvenirs) you shouldn't invite them along. Then again, if my child was invited on a trip somewhere, I would offer to pay for that child as well. If the family said they had it covered, I wouldn't push it though.