A cheese sandwich is punishment?

[hentob]

Its like saying, you can't afford food so here are some crumbs for you.

Now a cheese sandwich is "crumbs"

Oh please.

What I do is keep a $5 bill in their backpack (baggie in an inside zipper) for emergencies at all times. They know where to find it. I check it every morning to see if it needs to be replaced.

Busy mom or not, it is my responsibility to feed my children. If I fail to do so, I hardly think a cheese sandwich is that horrific of a consequence

 

[MM27]

Handling money in the morning is done at every elementary school I've ever been in. Children WITH money take care of it in the morning. That doesn't address the kids that don't bring money.

That is also the time when the lunch is ordered.

My school is not like that. The teachers have nothing to do with lunch. The kids carry their own money down to the cafeteria at lunchtime and pay then. If parents prepay or if they are free, it's on their account. It would be up to the food service to notify parents if their account was low and I don't think ours does.

I know from my own experience with my class, it's usually when I say "line up for lunch" that kids realize they don't have lunch money or their lunch. It's a little too late to call home at that time, so they get their voucher and the sandwich.

 

[Magic Mom]

Not necessarily. We used to count the days DD was buying lunch and how much we sent and still can't keep up. There are too many variables. Some days they have ice cream and popcicles they can buy; they cost extra. Other days there are fruit slushies. I have not the first clue how much money DD has in her account.

I wish they would send a note when she's getting low, but all I get is the dreaded red "Your child owes $2.35" or whatever. I'm always mortified. I wish there was a way we could check it online. We can check their grades. I'm going to suggest that we be able to access their lunch accounts.

I was thinking there was no way for the school to serve a child a cheese (or PB&J) sandwich without all the other kids seeing what that child was eating, but yeah, if it were a choice every day, then who would know? Great idea!

We can check AND pay the kids lunch accounts online now. I love it.

 

[luvsJack]

Now a cheese sandwich is "crumbs"

Oh please.

What I do is keep a $5 bill in their backpack (baggie in an inside zipper) for emergencies at all times. They know where to find it. I check it every morning to see if it needs to be replaced.

Busy mom or not, it is my responsibility to feed my children. If I fail to do so, I hardly think a cheese sandwich is that horrific of a consequence

In other words, its like saying "this is good enough for you because you don't have money". whatever. I know its not crumbs; but how does the kid feel? And I repeat, my child should not do without because of my failure to keep up with her lunch account. You do not single a child out.

Too many things get stolen for me to put any extra money anywhere with my child. In fact the school has specifically asked that no extra money ever be sent with the kids to school. So that won't work. Yes, it is my responsibility to feed my children; but they know I pay for lunch every week, they know how to call me and they know I am 5 minutes away--a simple phone call is all that is needed.

 

[luvsJack]

How is it "fair" that some kids' parents actually pay for their food, and the others get by without paying simply because they know they can get away with it. Any a cheese sandwich and milk isn't "crumbs," it a nutritious meal that parents should be glad their kids get if they intentionally don't pay their bills.

Again, what we're talking about here is not the kids who just runs out of money and has a negative balance for one or two days a year. We're talking about people who habitually fail to pay their kids' lunch bill.

Its not fair to the parents that pay. But why is it ok to tell a child "life's not fair" but not a grown parent??

I don't give one whit about the parents feelings or what they think they are getting away with or what their problem is. I care that the child gets a hot meal at lunch time just like every other child in that lunch line. It is not the child's fault the parent doesn't pay. And, btw, if the parent doesn't care if their child gets lunch, do you really think they care if they get supper or breakfast? What if lunch is the only hot meal that anyone fixes for the child?

 

[C.Ann]

The parents don't qualify for free/reduced lunches. And if they don't have the money to pay for school lunches, they surely don't have the money to pack a lunch. It's way more expensive to pack than to buy at school. There are a lot of families who are struggling out there who are above poverty level. There are no breaks for them, and it's the kids who pay the price.

I find it kind of hard to believe that a family who doesn't qualify for free/reduced lunches are so bad off that they can't afford a jar of non-brand jelly, non-brand PB (assuming there are no allergies), and a store-brand loaf of bread per week.. To me, that's really stretching the "dire" circumstances..

I agree with having the cheese sandwich available everyday to everyone. Then they are not singled out and the school is not losing out either.

I used to work in a school cafeteria and this is what we did - we had cheese sandwiches available every single day- as well as PB&J - for those not interested in the hot lunch or those who had forgotten their money or their account was in arrears.. If a child didn't have money for lunch, they received their choice of one of those two sandwiches, a piece of fruit, and their choice of white or chocolate milk.. Believe me, it wasn't "traumatizing" to these children at all..

Feeding my child a cheese sandwich while everyone else eats pizza or a hamburger is indeed a punishment. Sorry, but it won't fly. That is singling a child out for something a parent did. Not fair.
.

You are correct - it's not "fair" - and you are the person who is creating this "unfair" situation for your child.. As the parent, it's your responsibility to make sure your child has: a lunch from home; money to purchase lunch; or a lunch account that is paid up to date.. The school is being "fair" - you as the parent are not.. Personal responsibility - plain and simple..

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

In other words, its like saying "this is good enough for you because you don't have money". whatever. I know its not crumbs; but how does the kid feel? And I repeat, my child should not do without because of my failure to keep up with her lunch account. You do not single a child out...

Actually, the school is not singling them out - the parents are. You get that, right? The person in the position to ensure that it never, ever happens to your child is you...

 

[Mom2Nick]

In other words, its like saying "this is good enough for you because you don't have money". whatever. I know its not crumbs; but how does the kid feel? And I repeat, my child should not do without because of my failure to keep up with her lunch account. You do not single a child out.

Too many things get stolen for me to put any extra money anywhere with my child. In fact the school has specifically asked that no extra money ever be sent with the kids to school. So that won't work. Yes, it is my responsibility to feed my children; but they know I pay for lunch every week, they know how to call me and they know I am 5 minutes away--a simple phone call is all that is needed.

What if 50 kids ran out of money - who is going to call 50 parents so that mommy can bring in money so her kid doesn't have to eat that horrible demoralizing cheese sandwich?

Again - the responsibility is on you to do what you need to do to insure that your child doesn't eat a cheese sandwich. You know the rules and the consequences - figure it out.

 

[hentob]

In other words, its like saying "this is good enough for you because you don't have money". whatever. I know its not crumbs; but how does the kid feel? And I repeat, my child should not do without because of my failure to keep up with her lunch account.

How is giving a child a free cheese sandwich "doing without"? Doing without would be NOT giving your child free food.

What a strange thread

Again - the responsibility is on you to do what you need to do to insure that your child doesn't eat a cheese sandwich. You know the rules and the consequences - figure it out.

Thank you!

 

[glitterkittyy]

find it kind of hard to believe that a family who doesn't qualify for free/reduced lunches are so bad off that they can't afford a jar of non-brand jelly, non-brand PB (assuming there are no allergies), and a store-brand loaf of bread per week.. To me, that's really stretching the "dire" circumstances..

That's all you'd send your kid for lunch? A PB&J? Nothing to drink? Nothing on the side? I guess if you just sent a PB&J, your kid would be better off with the cheese sandwich. When I pack a lunch for my kids, I make sure they get a sandwich and a milk or juice and some grapes or something. When you add it up, it is indeed more than the $1.75 they charge per day for lunch here.

Again, though, I am not saying that the school is doing wrong or that it shouldn't be done. My only concern is how the child feels. It's not his/her fault. I'd pay for their lunch myself if I was there. I know how it goes with some parents as I used to be on the PTO and some folks had lunch accounts over $50 outstanding. That is wrong, and I agree that something should be done.

 

[luvsJack]

Those other kids are eating pizza because their parents paid their lunch bill. Giving a child something to eat even though their parents paid NOTHING toward that free meal is not a punishment, its generous.
In your case forgetting how much money is on a child's account does not make you a deadbeat.If you (general you) continue to let your child have a negative balance and not pay that balance, and expect them to be able to eat the same food that they other parents paid for then yes you are a deadbeat. As others have stated a punishment would be not giving a child anything to eat.

Do you seriously think the child has absolutely no problem with getting something different than everyone else?

Janie looks forward to pizza day or hamburger day or whatever her favorite is at the moment. So, here she is in the lunch line with her friends; hungry and excited because they are having her favorite that day. Her friends get their trays all with the favored food. They hand her a cheese sandwich. And everyone knows that Janie's mom hasn't paid for her lunch in 10 days or whatever. Do you really think Janie doesn't care?? Do you really think Janie doesn't feel about 2 inches tall? And all for that expensive piece of cheese pizza. Janie's parents may be deadbeats, but exactly what is Janie supposed to do about it?

I'm sorry but I just can't put the feelings of the "paying parents" before a child.


As I stated before, I don't know that there is an answer to this. As our economy continues downhill, I would imagine that we will run into more problems like this. Maybe calling child services is one solution (like Wishing on a star suggested); but would they really do anything? Maybe setting up an account that parents can donate extra money to help pay for kids lunches when the parents can't pay (but don't get free/reduced). No matter what is done, there will always be deadbeats, you just can't change human nature.

Its not that I really think a cheese sandwich is such a bad thing to eat. Heck, the kids in our child care center used to ask for cheese sandwiches all the time. Its the idea of giving one child less than another in one of the few situations in their life where everything should be equal. Its making a child feel ashamed for something he/she cannot do anything about.

 

[ilovejack02]

In other words, its like saying "this is good enough for you because you don't have money". whatever. I know its not crumbs; but how does the kid feel? And I repeat, my child should not do without because of my failure to keep up with her lunch account. You do not single a child out.

Children also get in trouble for being tardy to many times also. A 7 yr old can not get themselves to school on time without the parents help. They are also penalized for this.
Should they not be?
My 6 yr old got in trouble once because we didnt send a paper that had to be signed back. It was our fault.. but the school has rules. You can bet I havent failed to send a paper back since. Now as he gets older it will be his job, but right now it is my job to help him remember.

Parents have a job to do and if they dont do it, the child will pay the consequences .. happens everyday in schools.
No biggie to me.. just glad they feed my kid if I forget to send the money.

 

[luvsJack]

What if 50 kids ran out of money - who is going to call 50 parents so that mommy can bring in money so her kid doesn't have to eat that horrible demoralizing cheese sandwich?

Again - the responsibility is on you to do what you need to do to insure that your child doesn't eat a cheese sandwich. You know the rules and the consequences - figure it out.

There is a phone in every classroom, one in the office and two in the cafeteria.

As I said, thanks to our wonderful school system here; it won't happen to my child. I don't have to figure anything out. She will always have a hot lunch everyday unless she chooses otherwise.


Let me ask you this (or anyone who cares to answer). If a parent does not care enough to send lunch money, do you think they have a happy home? Do you think the child gets attention and love and hugs at home? Do you think the child gets to feel special and important to someone? (not the ones who occasionally forget but the parents who really don't care enough to pay)

I would imagine that a child whose parents do not care if the child gets to eat probably doesn't have the highest self esteem in the first place. He probably feels like he is not as good as everyone else already. Then he is given a different, smaller, cold lunch that tells everyone around him that his parents didn't pay for lunch (it makes no difference what the lunch is, its that it is different). Don't you see how this really could be demoralizing? Its not that it is a cheese sandwich or a pbj sandwich or a steak. Its how it can make a child feel.

 

[MushyMushy]

I would imagine that a child whose parents do not care if the child gets to eat probably doesn't have the highest self esteem in the first place. He probably feels like he is not as good as everyone else already. Then he is given a different, smaller, cold lunch that tells everyone around him that his parents didn't pay for lunch (it makes no difference what the lunch is, its that it is different). Don't you see how this really could be demoralizing? Its not that it is a cheese sandwich or a pbj sandwich or a steak. Its how it can make a child feel.

I think you're projecting your own feelings onto the kids. I've seen this in action so many times, and the kids are fine with the sandwich (PB&J). They aren't allowed to do this at the elementary school, but the kids at the middle school often end up trading with the kids who get the hot meal. Nobody gets teased. Nobody feels like they're getting crumbs. They aren't demoralized.

Believe me, it's not the food anybody is focusing on at lunch. They're happy to be out of the classroom and socializing.

 

[Mom2Nick]

I would imagine that a child whose parents do not care if the child gets to eat probably doesn't have the highest self esteem in the first place. He probably feels like he is not as good as everyone else already. Then he is given a different, smaller, cold lunch that tells everyone around him that his parents didn't pay for lunch (it makes no difference what the lunch is, its that it is different). Don't you see how this really could be demoralizing? Its not that it is a cheese sandwich or a pbj sandwich or a steak. Its how it can make a child feel.

If non -payment equals a cheese sandwich how does that translate to a parent not caring if their child eats? They are eating - they are just not eating a hot lunch.

If schools all of a sudden do not have consequences for not paying for lunch - where will it end? If everybody gets a hot lunch regardless of circumstances be it qualifying for free lunch or TAKING free lunch by simply not paying - what is going to stop the paying parents from deciding they're going to jump on the non paying bandwagon? After all why pay for that hot lunch when you can get for free?

If parents don't want to send in money or cannot be bothered to take 5 minutes out of their day on their own to check their child's account without putting that burden on the school - then they have no right to complain that the free meal they are getting isn't good enough.

 

[richmond282]

Every time I see this thread I think of the soup Nazi from "Seinfeld" "No Soup for You!" or in this case, "No hot lunch for you!"

Seriously, who is going to pay for all these hot lunches given to kids whose parents refuse to pay up? Schools are also suffering during this "economic downturn" It's not like the school has this limitless budget for hot lunches or even cheese sandwiches.

 

[ms.yt]

There is a phone in every classroom, one in the office and two in the cafeteria.

Maybe there is a phone in every classroom in your school, but not in any school I've ever been in. Even if there were, is the teacher supposed to take the time to call parents everyday during their class time to tell them their kid is almost out of money in their lunch account?

 

[disykat]

They can't make phone calls or take care of it earlier in the day because they don't KNOW they have no money. Even if they were handstamped or told the day before, they obviously didn't remember or they would HAVE money.

I've worked at tons of school. Every school I've been at, the kids with money take it to the office in the morning. The teacher takes a lunch count in the classroom, but has no way of knowing who has money in their account - teachers don't handle money, nor do they have access to the lunchroom accounts. It isn't until the kids are in the lunchroom that a deficit pops up when they put their number in the computer.

I'll say it again, I've never seen a child upset about the cheese sandwich. While it's possible they could feel bad because they wanted pizza (or whatever) instead, I think it's adults that are trying to put a "they'll be traumatized and teased because of being labeled as a deadbeat by a cheese sandwich" into this situation.

 

[laurie31]

Do you seriously think the child has absolutely no problem with getting something different than everyone else?

Janie looks forward to pizza day or hamburger day or whatever her favorite is at the moment. So, here she is in the lunch line with her friends; hungry and excited because they are having her favorite that day. Her friends get their trays all with the favored food. They hand her a cheese sandwich. And everyone knows that Janie's mom hasn't paid for her lunch in 10 days or whatever. Do you really think Janie doesn't care?? Do you really think Janie doesn't feel about 2 inches tall? And all for that expensive piece of cheese pizza. Janie's parents may be deadbeats, but exactly what is Janie supposed to do about it?

I'm sorry but I just can't put the feelings of the "paying parents" before a child.


As I stated before, I don't know that there is an answer to this. As our economy continues downhill, I would imagine that we will run into more problems like this. Maybe calling child services is one solution (like Wishing on a star suggested); but would they really do anything? Maybe setting up an account that parents can donate extra money to help pay for kids lunches when the parents can't pay (but don't get free/reduced). No matter what is done, there will always be deadbeats, you just can't change human nature.

Its not that I really think a cheese sandwich is such a bad thing to eat. Heck, the kids in our child care center used to ask for cheese sandwiches all the time. Its the idea of giving one child less than another in one of the few situations in their life where everything should be equal. Its making a child feel ashamed for something he/she cannot do anything about.

But where does it end?

What about the field trip that 90% of the kids are going on, that Janie's parents can't afford, so she has to stay at school doing worksheets while everyone else goes off and has fun?

What about her clothes? They aren't remotely close to the right size, and aren't remotely fashionable, or are threadbare, or maybe they smell.

How is the school supposed to fix all the inequities of life?

That's pretty unrealistic, even if schools DID have huge budgets and didn't have to sell overpriced wrapping paper and cookie dough just to get ink for the copy machine.


I think it's good that the kids without money get SOMETHING to eat. They could be left with nothing at all. The school is not a social service agency, nor do I wish it to be.

 

[Magic Mom]

There is a phone in every classroom, one in the office and two in the cafeteria.

As I said, thanks to our wonderful school system here; it won't happen to my child. I don't have to figure anything out. She will always have a hot lunch everyday unless she chooses otherwise.


Let me ask you this (or anyone who cares to answer). If a parent does not care enough to send lunch money, do you think they have a happy home? Do you think the child gets attention and love and hugs at home? Do you think the child gets to feel special and important to someone? (not the ones who occasionally forget but the parents who really don't care enough to pay)

I would imagine that a child whose parents do not care if the child gets to eat probably doesn't have the highest self esteem in the first place. He probably feels like he is not as good as everyone else already. Then he is given a different, smaller, cold lunch that tells everyone around him that his parents didn't pay for lunch (it makes no difference what the lunch is, its that it is different). Don't you see how this really could be demoralizing? Its not that it is a cheese sandwich or a pbj sandwich or a steak. Its how it can make a child feel.

Here's another alternative, if the parents aren't taking steps to provide their children with food to eat day after day, then the school could call CPS. Honestly, I prefer the cheese sandwich to that alternative. The child gets something to eat, thanks to the school.
Most kids are not paying attention to who gets free lunch or the "Cheese sandwich." And if a child's family life is SO bad that no one will pay for lunch, pack a lunch or sign up for free lunches, then eating a cheese sandwich is really the last thing that child is worried about.