A cheese sandwich is punishment?

[ms.yt]

Feeding my child a cheese sandwich while everyone else eats pizza or a hamburger is indeed a punishment. Sorry, but it won't fly. That is singling a child out for something a parent did. Not fair.

Its like saying, you can't afford food so here are some crumbs for you. Its not the child's fault and the child cannot help what the parent does or doesn't do.

How is it "fair" that some kids' parents actually pay for their food, and the others get by without paying simply because they know they can get away with it. Any a cheese sandwich and milk isn't "crumbs," it a nutritious meal that parents should be glad their kids get if they intentionally don't pay their bills.

Again, what we're talking about here is not the kids who just runs out of money and has a negative balance for one or two days a year. We're talking about people who habitually fail to pay their kids' lunch bill.

 

[goldcupmom]

I, too, am in NM. This subject has gotten WAY out of reasonable here in Albuquerque!

A recent radio call in show had several of the 'deadbeat' parents call in. At elementary level I think kids can go 10 days into the negative before cheese, middle school it's 5 or 7 & HS it's like 3 days.

Several parents called in who had 'paid up' and said they had simply been lazy & had owed $20 - $50 each. The district as a whole was over $140,000 in bad lunch debt.

Many who had 'lunch debt' finally got up the energy to fill out the paperwork for free lunches....I forget the numbers, but it was astonishing & the parents just didn't do it.

But, this is NM. I've been here 8 yrs and it never ceases to amaze me. My DD was ill from HS for almost 5 weeks and the TOTAL homework for that time was only about 10 hours....for 7 classes! They do almost nothing and we are in a supposed 'good' district outside of ABQ.

This is a poor state where many believe that the govt owes them everything...and I mean EVERYTHING. Totally amazing to me! The mindset of many of the 20somethings who my DS22 hangs with is that they don't need to work as they can have free healthcare, food, housing & do what they want all day....play video games, make babies & smoke pot! UGH!! The 1st year my DS22 was back at home he got a check in the mail after tax time for over $400 because he was so 'poor'. Basically it didn't pay him to work so hard!

And if you think cheese sandwiches are a problem, my DNieces teach in FL and were just given the new curriculum on how to teach their elem kids to use less toilet paper!!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I notice that nobody has answered Mushy's question.
When an automatic and free hot-lunch is provided, and dozens of parents jump on the bandwagon and take advantage of it... what do ya do???

IMHO, If a parent is sending a child to school on a regular basis without a packed lunch, lunch money, and no application for subsidized lunch... That is the parent allowing the child to go hungry...

If this went on for any considerable amount of time (I am not sure how many days are allowed before the cheese sandwich policy kicks in....) then this is neglect and unfit parenting...

Seriously... I would have a system/policy in place for reporting this to CPS.....

Why enable unfit, deadbeat, parents who are spending all thier money on drugs or acohol instead of paying the tab for their child's lunch by putting a cheese sandwich band-aide on the situation...

If there is occasional arrears on a normal family... fine... establish a maximum amount.... Give a little breathing room...

If there are kids who truly do have deadbeat parents... they need a LOT MORE than a cheese sandwich... they need intervention.

Parents who can afford, but simply would take advantage will be much less likely to do so if they know that this could mean that CPS knocks on their door...

This isn't just about 'cheese sandwiches'...
This is about what is right for these kids and how to effective handle these situations.

After working in school cafeterias elem/middle/HS, except for HS in which you are on your own, the workers and teachers know who the kids are.
You will find them often paying for a student to eat.

 

[dogluva]

I swear everytime I read one of these threads about schools it makes me want to kiss our superintendent's cheek for NOT doing things the way some other schools do!

I send a check once a week for dd's lunch. $10 = $2 a day. But, they can buy ice cream and/or slushies on some days so sometimes she runs out of money without me realizing it. If so, she goes to the office and someone gives her the money to buy a regular lunch. I, then, owe the office $2. In fact, I just sent them $6 today for this very thing.

I am not a dead beat who does not pay for her child's lunch. I am a busy mother who may not realize when her child's account is out of money. Or when I pay, if I forget about the money we owe the office, I just send one check. So it all goes on her account but doesn't pay back the office

Would I be mad if they gave a cheese sandwich and everyone else had pizza? I sure would. #1 It is too easy to solve the problem of parents not knowing when their child's account runs out. #2 Do not punish my child for something I did. #3 all they have to do is have her go to the office and call me to bring her money or have someone bring her money.

Years (and years!) ago when I worked as a teacher's assistant; there was a big change in the way the lunch lines were done so that the students would not know who was free or reduced lunch. There is no difference with this and it shouldn't be done.

If my child sat down at a lunch table and everyone there could tell she had not paid for lunch and she got upset? I don't jump to my kids defense often, but this is one time the principal would know iI was in the building. Truthfully, I would defend anyone's child over something like that. It is food. And I am sorry but food is a stupid thing to take a chance on upsetting a child over. (and I remember kids that would not eat lunch rather than their friends know they got free or reduced lunch).

I agree. My son was harassed by the lunch lady at his school over one missed payment (which was actaully paid, I payed for two kids with one check and they didn't realize). He came home in tears saying he wouldn't be able to eat the next day, I had to pay it right away, etc. He was in first grade and it was the first week of school. I called up and said never to tell my kid he wasn't going to have lunch. She ended up doing it the next year to my younger son and again I called her on it.

She will send me pages of their history payment when she thinks I owe money. I told her to stop wasting the paper over two dollars. I can't imagine how she treats the parents who owe weeks worth of lunches.

 

[Wishing on a star]

After working in school cafeterias elem/middle/HS, except for HS in which you are on your own, the workers and teachers know who the kids are.
You will find them often paying for a student to eat.

And, in these situations, I am sure that these kids (and I) issue many

Bless these employee's hearts!!!!

 

[rabyoga]

I teach for Albuquerque Public Schools. None of my students have been 'singled' out. Although I know quite a few get reduced/free lunches. I figure something is better than nothing.

 

[Lintasare]

Wow lots of NM people here. HI NEIGHBORS!!!!

 

[yoopermom]

Just a little shout out to all the NM'ans on board! I was offered a job there a few years ago and *almost* took it, but decided to wait until DS was out of school. You have a beautiful state, and I would gladly eat a cheese sandwich if it meant I could sit outside and enjoy the desert sun!

Terri
da Yoopermom (where it was twenty below this am, brrrr)

 

[Stacerita]

I don't see a cheese sandwich as punishment. Its a free lunch.

 

[Lintasare]

Just a little shout out to all the NM'ans on board! I was offered a job there a few years ago and *almost* took it, but decided to wait until DS was out of school. You have a beautiful state, and I would gladly eat a cheese sandwich if it meant I could sit outside and enjoy the desert sun!

Terri
da Yoopermom (where it was twenty below this am, brrrr)

If you do sit out in the desert sun don't forget the sunblock and moisturizer. My skin is always dry.

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

I'm haven't had time to read all of the replies.

This is no big deal. If the schools don't want to single kids out, offer cheese sandwich as an option. At the school I was interning in last semester PB&J was offered as a lunch option everyday. It was also the only thing you could be served if your account was negative. So nobody knew if the child was getting PB&J because they chose to or because they didn't have money. See how easy that is?

 

[yoopermom]

Dry sounds good right now when I'm wading through three feet of snow to get to my car in the a.m.!

But, seriously, can I have my cheese sandwich grilled?

(And for those of you who think teachers are overpaid, I worked with a teacher who's wife was a SAHM, and they had enough kids in school at the same time to qualify for free lunch for them....)

Terri

 

[ireland_nicole]

Slight wrinkle to this, our school district does not offer any way to see how much money is in our child's lunch account. My children rarely get lunch at school because of special diets, I send their lunch in. DD is often in hospital, however (usually without notice.) When she is, DS gets lunch at school. If the money runs out, however- he is offered only a cheese sandwich (which he can't eat) and his arm is stamped with a large - SEND LUNCH MONEY stamp.

Personally, I don't see how any of this is necessary. I always pay my bills, but have no extra to send "just in case"; there might be 20-30 dollars in there, I don't know. I really don't understand why there can't be one day's lunch given and a note sent home instead of literally shaming and in DS's case, refusing to allow him to eat. FWIW, DS also has growth issues, so missing a days lunch is significant. If they would call and ask for lunch, I would send someone with it; instead, I have to hear from him what happened after school.

This has happened twice since August, the last time 2 weeks ago when DD went into the hospital for 1 day and due to complications was there a week.

 

[Stacerita]

Slight wrinkle to this, our school district does not offer any way to see how much money is in our child's lunch account. My children rarely get lunch at school because of special diets, I send their lunch in. DD is often in hospital, however (usually without notice.) When she is, DS gets lunch at school. If the money runs out, however- he is offered only a cheese sandwich (which he can't eat) and his arm is stamped with a large - SEND LUNCH MONEY stamp.

Personally, I don't see how any of this is necessary. I always pay my bills, but have no extra to send "just in case"; there might be 20-30 dollars in there, I don't know. I really don't understand why there can't be one day's lunch given and a note sent home instead of literally shaming and in DS's case, refusing to allow him to eat. FWIW, DS also has growth issues, so missing a days lunch is significant. If they would call and ask for lunch, I would send someone with it; instead, I have to hear from him what happened after school.

This has happened twice since August, the last time 2 weeks ago when DD went into the hospital for 1 day and due to complications was there a week.

I don't see why the school can't let you know when there is enough for one more lunch left. When DD was in elementry school, they would let her know when her account was low or only had enough for one more lunch. She would let me know and I would send more money in. She didn't eat lunch at school that often, so I never knew how much was in her account.

I think its terrible that they stamp that on their arm. What happened to sending a note home? Or an email even. Geez.

 

[disykat]

Kids love to get their hands stamped. Our school always stamped them when they needed more money. Usually it was in time to not get the cheese sandwich, but not always. If you've been in a school cafeteria at lunchtime you can see why it might get missed that their account is low!

If the kids didn't want to be stamped they just had to say so. If a parent doesn't want their kids to get a cheese sandwich they need to keep track of how many days their child has ordered lunch since they last sent money. Easy.

 

[Stacerita]

Kids love to get their hands stamped. Our school always stamped them when they needed more money. Usually it was in time to not get the cheese sandwich, but not always. If you've been in a school cafeteria at lunchtime you can see why it might get missed that their account is low!
If the kids didn't want to be stamped they just had to say so. If a parent doesn't want their kids to get a cheese sandwich they need to keep track of how many days their child has ordered lunch since they last sent money. Easy.

At DD's school they would handle the money in the morning before school. Parents who needed to help younger kids could go with them at this time to get it taken care of. Because lunchtime is crazy, the school opted to do this in the morning.

 

[disykat]

At DD's school they would handle the money in the morning before school. Parents who needed to help younger kids could go with them at this time to get it taken care of. Because lunchtime is crazy, the school opted to do this in the morning.

Handling money in the morning is done at every elementary school I've ever been in. Children WITH money take care of it in the morning. That doesn't address the kids that don't bring money.

 

[Stacerita]

Handling money in the morning is done at every elementary school I've ever been in. Children WITH money take care of it in the morning. That doesn't address the kids that don't bring money.

That is also the time when the lunch is ordered.

 

[laurie31]

Kids love to get their hands stamped. Our school always stamped them when they needed more money. Usually it was in time to not get the cheese sandwich, but not always. If you've been in a school cafeteria at lunchtime you can see why it might get missed that their account is low!

If the kids didn't want to be stamped they just had to say so. If a parent doesn't want their kids to get a cheese sandwich they need to keep track of how many days their child has ordered lunch since they last sent money. Easy.

Not necessarily. We used to count the days DD was buying lunch and how much we sent and still can't keep up. There are too many variables. Some days they have ice cream and popcicles they can buy; they cost extra. Other days there are fruit slushies. I have not the first clue how much money DD has in her account.

I wish they would send a note when she's getting low, but all I get is the dreaded red "Your child owes $2.35" or whatever. I'm always mortified. I wish there was a way we could check it online. We can check their grades. I'm going to suggest that we be able to access their lunch accounts.

I was thinking there was no way for the school to serve a child a cheese (or PB&J) sandwich without all the other kids seeing what that child was eating, but yeah, if it were a choice every day, then who would know? Great idea!

 

[hentob]

Personal responsibility. I can't imagine blaming someone else for my mistakes...