A cheese sandwich is punishment?

[luvsJack]

I swear everytime I read one of these threads about schools it makes me want to kiss our superintendent's cheek for NOT doing things the way some other schools do!

I send a check once a week for dd's lunch. $10 = $2 a day. But, they can buy ice cream and/or slushies on some days so sometimes she runs out of money without me realizing it. If so, she goes to the office and someone gives her the money to buy a regular lunch. I, then, owe the office $2. In fact, I just sent them $6 today for this very thing.

I am not a dead beat who does not pay for her child's lunch. I am a busy mother who may not realize when her child's account is out of money. Or when I pay, if I forget about the money we owe the office, I just send one check. So it all goes on her account but doesn't pay back the office

Would I be mad if they gave a cheese sandwich and everyone else had pizza? I sure would. #1 It is too easy to solve the problem of parents not knowing when their child's account runs out. #2 Do not punish my child for something I did. #3 all they have to do is have her go to the office and call me to bring her money or have someone bring her money.

Years (and years!) ago when I worked as a teacher's assistant; there was a big change in the way the lunch lines were done so that the students would not know who was free or reduced lunch. There is no difference with this and it shouldn't be done.

If my child sat down at a lunch table and everyone there could tell she had not paid for lunch and she got upset? I don't jump to my kids defense often, but this is one time the principal would know iI was in the building. Truthfully, I would defend anyone's child over something like that. It is food. And I am sorry but food is a stupid thing to take a chance on upsetting a child over. (and I remember kids that would not eat lunch rather than their friends know they got free or reduced lunch).

 

[MushyMushy]

I swear everytime I read one of these threads about schools it makes me want to kiss our superintendent's cheek for NOT doing things the way some other schools do!

I send a check once a week for dd's lunch. $10 = $2 a day. But, they can buy ice cream and/or slushies on some days so sometimes she runs out of money without me realizing it. If so, she goes to the office and someone gives her the money to buy a regular lunch. I, then, owe the office $2. In fact, I just sent them $6 today for this very thing.

I am not a dead beat who does not pay for her child's lunch. I am a busy mother who may not realize when her child's account is out of money. Or when I pay, if I forget about the money we owe the office, I just send one check. So it all goes on her account but doesn't pay back the office

Would I be mad if they gave a cheese sandwich and everyone else had pizza? I sure would. #1 It is too easy to solve the problem of parents not knowing when their child's account runs out. #2 Do not punish my child for something I did. #3 all they have to do is have her go to the office and call me to bring her money or have someone bring her money.

Years (and years!) ago when I worked as a teacher's assistant; there was a big change in the way the lunch lines were done so that the students would not know who was free or reduced lunch. There is no difference with this and it shouldn't be done.

If my child sat down at a lunch table and everyone there could tell she had not paid for lunch and she got upset? I don't jump to my kids defense often, but this is one time the principal would know iI was in the building. Truthfully, I would defend anyone's child over something like that. It is food. And I am sorry but food is a stupid thing to take a chance on upsetting a child over. (and I remember kids that would not eat lunch rather than their friends know they got free or reduced lunch).

It doesn't sound like you're a deadbeat, but you have to know that there are parents who won't pay. What do you recommend happen? Do you think the cafeteria should take a loss? Then what? Raise prices for everyone? Leave that particular school? Around here, cafeterias aren't run by the school district. They're run by independent companies.

I'm with you in that my kids don't have money ever single day, and it's my fault. But when you have up to hundreds of kids not paying when they could, who's going to cover the loss?

I'm not being snarky, I'm just curious what you think the answer is.

 

[MM27]

Would I be mad if they gave a cheese sandwich and everyone else had pizza? I sure would. #1 It is too easy to solve the problem of parents not knowing when their child's account runs out. #2 Do not punish my child for something I did. #3 all they have to do is have her go to the office and call me to bring her money or have someone bring her money.

Years (and years!) ago when I worked as a teacher's assistant; there was a big change in the way the lunch lines were done so that the students would not know who was free or reduced lunch. There is no difference with this and it shouldn't be done.

Why would you be mad for them feeding your child? I don't think a sandwich is punishment. I think telling her, "sorry you can't eat today" is punishment.

Kids still know who is free and who is not. My school has tried to "hide" that too, but ask any kid and they know what everyone is. When kids are out of the classroom before lunch, I'll sometimes ask, "Does so and so bring their lunch or do they get school lunch?" They will tell me "oh, they're free"

 

[redlight]

I don't think the food is the issue. It just sets the kid up to be teased and ridiculed by his/her classmates. It's not the kid's fault the parent hasn't paid.

My thoughts exactly.

 

[Cindy B]

Why would you be mad for them feeding your child? I don't think a sandwich is punishment. I think telling her, "sorry you can't eat today" is punishment.

Kids still know who is free and who is not. My school has tried to "hide" that too, but ask any kid and they know what everyone is. When kids are out of the classroom before lunch, I'll sometimes ask, "Does so and so bring their lunch or do they get school lunch?" They will tell me "oh, they're free"

I find the whole "possible shame" of finding out who is free lunch laughable. I worked at a school that was 100% free lunch--yes every person, so it was a non issue. In fact the few that brought lunch were ostracized-- in the types of comments like "so the free lunch isn't good enough for you" and so on.

 

[S. C.]

I like cheese sandwiches and take them to work for my lunch at least once a week.

 

[luvsJack]

It doesn't sound like you're a deadbeat, but you have to know that there are parents who won't pay. What do you recommend happen? Do you think the cafeteria should take a loss? Then what? Raise prices for everyone? Leave that particular school? Around here, cafeterias aren't run by the school district. They're run by independent companies.

I'm with you in that my kids don't have money ever single day, and it's my fault. But when you have up to hundreds of kids not paying when they could, who's going to cover the loss?

I'm not being snarky, I'm just curious what you think the answer is.

Good questions! I understand the dilemma for the cafeteria, I just don't think a child should be singled out. Can you just imagine how a child would feel if the whole table was sitting there eating pizza and he/she came to the table with a cheese sandwich? Of course the other kids will know why he/she has a cheese sandwich. I think thats awful!

As for a solution, I don't know that there is one. With today's economy I am afraid there will be more problems like this coming up. Pesonally, I would rather see the charge for lunch each day go up one more dollar and the maximum income level for free/reduced lunch come down than to think a child is having to do without or is being singled out.

No matter what anyone does there will always be those that will take advantage; there is just no perfect system to prevent that. And there will always be the sorriest of sorry parents that will just not care that their child will not have a lunch if they don't send money for them, which is one of the reasons our school will not make a child do without lunch if they have no money. I guess, just like with anything else, the amount charged has to be figured to include the loss taken for those that do not pay. For me anyway, this is something I don't mind paying.

 

[luvsJack]

Why would you be mad for them feeding your child? I don't think a sandwich is punishment. I think telling her, "sorry you can't eat today" is punishment.

Kids still know who is free and who is not. My school has tried to "hide" that too, but ask any kid and they know what everyone is. When kids are out of the classroom before lunch, I'll sometimes ask, "Does so and so bring their lunch or do they get school lunch?" They will tell me "oh, they're free"

Feeding my child a cheese sandwich while everyone else eats pizza or a hamburger is indeed a punishment. Sorry, but it won't fly. That is singling a child out for something a parent did. Not fair.

Its like saying, you can't afford food so here are some crumbs for you. Its not the child's fault and the child cannot help what the parent does or doesn't do.

 

[Jennasis]

Gee, when I was in school, if you didn't have money for lunch and didn't bring your own from home, you were outta luck.

I think it's great that the school is giving the kids something to eat despite the parents inability/unwillingness/forgetfullness to pay.

As for the kid being sad or embarassed that he "only" got a cheese sandwich while everyone else got pizza...life isn't fair. Perhaps going home and crying about it to mom and dad might prompt them to send their overdue check.

 

[luvmy3]

Feeding my child a cheese sandwich while everyone else eats pizza or a hamburger is indeed a punishment. Sorry, but it won't fly. That is singling a child out for something a parent did. Not fair.

Those other kids are eating pizza because their parents paid their lunch bill. Giving a child something to eat even though their parents paid NOTHING toward that free meal is not a punishment, its generous.
In your case forgetting how much money is on a child's account does not make you a deadbeat.If you (general you) continue to let your child have a negative balance and not pay that balance, and expect them to be able to eat the same food that they other parents paid for then yes you are a deadbeat. As others have stated a punishment would be not giving a child anything to eat.

 

[MM27]

what happens if a kid brings a cheese sandwich from home. Should he be mad because he wanted pizza and the school wouldn't give it to him because he already has a cheese sandwich.

 

[poohbears5]

When do some of these parents stop depending on everyonelse to take
care of the basic needs of the child they brought into the world. The schools
might as well pick them up from the hospital and give these parents vistation rights.

 

[Magic Mom]

Feeding my child a cheese sandwich while everyone else eats pizza or a hamburger is indeed a punishment. Sorry, but it won't fly. That is singling a child out for something a parent did. Not fair.

Its like saying, you can't afford food so here are some crumbs for you. Its not the child's fault and the child cannot help what the parent does or doesn't do.

But it isn't the schools fault for the child feeling bad, it's the parent's fault. How does the blame get passed to the school? If you (general) don't want your kid eating a cheese sandwich ( oh the shame) then send a lunch or fill out the free lunch paperwork.

Frankly, I don't think that kids tease about this sort of thing in elementary school. They could care less who is eating what as long as they are eating and talking with their friends. At least that is my experience.

 

[Mom2Nick]

Feeding my child a cheese sandwich while everyone else eats pizza or a hamburger is indeed a punishment. Sorry, but it won't fly. That is singling a child out for something a parent did. Not fair.

Its like saying, you can't afford food so here are some crumbs for you. Its not the child's fault and the child cannot help what the parent does or doesn't do.

If you know your child is going to be fed a lunch that is unacceptable to you then YOU do not punish your child by making sure your kid has money to pay for the lunch you want them to be fed.

 

[cheermom1]

here is my thought on this - my kids have often "forgot" to tell me they need lunch money so if they were to have to eat a cheese sandwich b/c they didn't tell me to send money then so be it! they will learn. and besides what is the big deal? they got fed right? it's not like they said no lunch for you! geez people and this is why college students now think they should all be given A for effort instead of EARNING it! good grief kids are WAY more resilient then we give them credit for. stop cuddling them let them grow up! not everything in life is going to handed to them, nor is it going to fair, nor is it always going to go the way they want it to, and the world doesn't revolve around one person. really this is so small in the grand scheme of things.

 

[Magic Mom]

Gee, when I was in school, if you didn't have money for lunch and didn't bring your own from home, you were outta luck.

I think it's great that the school is giving the kids something to eat despite the parents inability/unwillingness/forgetfullness to pay.

As for the kid being sad or embarassed that he "only" got a cheese sandwich while everyone else got pizza...life isn't fair. Perhaps going home and crying about it to mom and dad might prompt them to send their overdue check.

 

[luvmy3]

If you know your child is going to be fed a lunch that is unacceptable to you then YOU do not punish your child by making sure your kid has money to pay for the lunch you want them to be fed.

 

[cheermom1]

Gee, when I was in school, if you didn't have money for lunch and didn't bring your own from home, you were outta luck.

I think it's great that the school is giving the kids something to eat despite the parents inability/unwillingness/forgetfullness to pay.

As for the kid being sad or embarassed that he "only" got a cheese sandwich while everyone else got pizza...life isn't fair. Perhaps going home and crying about it to mom and dad might prompt them to send their overdue check.

I agree

 

[ORMom2Four]

lol

Not only did my kids school give them a PB&J sandwich when their lunch money ran out (no cheese for them!), but they had to leave the cafeteria, go to the office, and CALL ME FIRST to tell me they had no lunch money. Only after they made the "call of shame" were they given a pb&j. This happened up until the 8th grade.

Once you hit 9th grade, the school could care less if you eat during the day

 

[Wishing on a star]

I notice that nobody has answered Mushy's question.
When an automatic and free hot-lunch is provided, and dozens of parents jump on the bandwagon and take advantage of it... what do ya do???

IMHO, If a parent is sending a child to school on a regular basis without a packed lunch, lunch money, and no application for subsidized lunch, that is the parent allowing the child to go hungry...

If this went on for any considerable amount of time (I am not sure how many days are allowed before the cheese sandwich policy kicks in....) then this is neglect and unfit parenting.

Seriously... I would have a system/policy in place for reporting this to CPS.

Why enable unfit, deadbeat, parents who are spending all thier money on drugs or acohol instead of paying the tab for their child's lunch by putting a cheese sandwich band-aide on the situation?

If there is occasional arrears on a normal family... fine... establish a maximum amount.... Give a little breathing room...

If there are kids who truly do have deadbeat parents... they need a LOT MORE than a cheese sandwich... they need intervention.

Parents who can afford, but simply would take advantage, will be much less likely to do so if they know that this could mean that CPS knocks on their door.

This isn't just about 'cheese sandwiches'.
This is about what is right for these kids and how to effectively handle these situations.