8yo with $175 purse??? -- How do you teach your kids the value of a dollar??

[MareQ]

Nice things does not mean that the child does not have good values.

Yup - You can give generously to your child and teach them valuable lessons at the same time....

 

[noodleknitter]

Just for the record, Coach and Liz Claiborne and all the rest are knock-offs of real "designer" purses. So are the cheaper, $20 purses. So, people who spend $20 or $200 are both buying their kids knock-off purses. IMHO, there is no more prestige to carrying a D&B purse than there is to carrying a Fossil or K-Mart one.

I don't go into debt to buy the $200 purse, just like others aren't going into debt to buy the $20 purse. We live within our means, just like everyone else.

Children become spoiled when parents start buying them things because they whine, cry, or demand it. If DD did that, she'd get no purse. But as long as she is behaving well, there is no reason not to get her a purse. And how I spend on it is, honestly, nobody else's business.

Of course. No one said it wasn't. i just don't need to put my kids in the status race at 8. Do what you like with yours. It is purely personal choice. I never said spoiled. I said materialistic. Different animals in my opinion.

 

[Cool-Beans]

Of course. No one said it wasn't. i just don't need to put my kids in the status race at 8. Do what you like with yours. It is purely personal choice. I never said spoiled. I said materialistic. Different animals in my opinion.

I'm not trying to pick on you. You just bring up good points that I'd like to address.

My kids aren't in a race for anything. And if having a purse makes one "materialistic," then, OK, I am and I'll let my daughter be materialistic, too. But what that purse costs is irrelevant.

Because one person can afford a $20 purse and another can afford a $200 purse doesn't make any difference. They can have the same values, raise decent kids, etc. Nobody should be judged by what they have (or don't have.)

I do not "get" the idea that what kind of purse someone carries has anything to do with their "status." I'm not even sure what kind of "status" you are talking about. But whatever it is, I'm not buying into it.

A person would have to be very, very superficial to think that you could tell anything about a person based on their purse. That's my opinion, anyway.

 

[noodleknitter]

I'm not trying to pick on you. You just bring up good points that I'd like to address.

My kids aren't in a race for anything. And if having a purse makes one "materialistic," then, OK, I am and I'll let my daughter be materialistic, too. But what that purse costs is irrelevant.

Because one person can afford a $20 purse and another can afford a $200 purse doesn't make any difference. They can have the same values, raise decent kids, etc. Nobody should be judged by what they have (or don't have.)

I do not "get" the idea that what kind of purse someone carries has anything to do with their "status." I'm not even sure what kind of "status" you are talking about. But whatever it is, I'm not buying into it.

A person would have to be very, very superficial to think that you could tell anything about a person based on their purse. That's my opinion, anyway.

You are right, it shouldn't matter what you carry, but who you are. I think, sadly, though, that too many people have it backwards!

Our personal preference is to keep stuff, in general, to a minimum, so that colors my opinion. Especially expensive stuff...with 7 kids. But, as I said in one of the threads, we have a nice home that is more than we "need", and we have a daughter in France studying when she could have just stayed here...it is all a matter of perspective!

 

[Maleficent13]

I do not "get" the idea that what kind of purse someone carries has anything to do with their "status." I'm not even sure what kind of "status" you are talking about.

I'm with you in the confusion. Perhaps it's because I don't notice what other people are wearing/carrying/driving. I mean, I will notice if you're wearing a nice sweater, but I have no idea if you paid $10 or $100 for it. Nor do I care.

 

[OceanAnnie]

I do not "get" the idea that what kind of purse someone carries has anything to do with their "status." I'm not even sure what kind of "status" you are talking about. But whatever it is, I'm not buying into it.

A person would have to be very, very superficial to think that you could tell anything about a person based on their purse. That's my opinion, anyway.

For what it's worth the status thing starts young whether you buy into it or not. I've read about kids & young adults beating up and in some cases actually killing others to steal their expensive shoes & jeans! There's been articles about it here in the states and in the UK (don't ask for a link, it's been awhile--- but it has happened). It's sad.

 

[gemjoy]

My SIL bought me a "knock off" Kate Spade purse for x-mas last year... purple suede - really cute, I love it! Anyway, both of us are fortunate enough that we could afford the real thing if we wanted - but we're both very conservative. I would never spend that kind of money on a purse. It's just a personal thing I guess. I actually get a thrill out of knowing it's a knock off, looks great and cost me no more than a "regular purse"! I love a deal! However, a co-worker of mine will only buy the "real deal" - she has even made the comment "I wouldn't want a knock off" which for some reason drives me crazy I just don't understand that way of thinking... I don't fault her for it - just don't get it. Anyway, my dd is 10 and she asked me if she could get a Kate Spade "knock off"??? My answer... absolutely!

 

[Disneyland1084]

Both of my parents taught me financial responsibility at a young age. We weren't rich, but lived comfortably. I started working at a young age and had a savings account. At the age of 16 I went on a trip to France and I paid for it all myself. When I got my driver's license at 16 my parents told me I would have to pay them $100 a month for car insurance. I wasn't thrilled about it, but now I'm so thankful they made me do it. I know how to take care of myself and am responsible with money.

 

[Enchanted Tiki Bird]

If you are all that worked up about that $125 that wasn't donated to charity, I would suggest that you give up your internet access and donate YOUR money. In your own words, "think of where that money could be better used."

I was raised to judge people based on the content of their character...not which kind of purse they carry. And I have raised my children to do the same. But thanks for telling me what the "real lessons" I should be teaching them are.

I AM entitled to do what I want with my money. I'll buy whatever I please for whomever I please.

This is kind of a funny insult to give to a starving student such as myself who lives a shade below the poverty line. For what it's worth, I actually don't have internet access or cable television for that matter nor do I have a long distance telephone plan. That being said, I too indulge in luxuries every now and again. I love to go to movies or out to eat every once and awhile and I own a car that I sometimes drive. I didn't mean to come across as holier-than-thou because I don't condemn people who buy luxuries that they can afford and are reasonable. Entertainment and play are an important part of a healthy life.

But that's not what we are talking about here. We are talking about buying unreasonable items for children (i.e. >%100 on a purse for an eight year old). My point is not that the money could be better spent given to charities (although it could) but that I feel in this culture our priorities are backwards. People work really hard so that they can buy their children "stuff" instead of working really hard to teach their children "stuff", specifically about helping out others in their world and their community and thus building a sense of compassion rather than a sense of entitlement.

PS - None of this is meant as a personal attack on anyone's parenting style or children. I don't even know any of you. I was just adding my two cents to a general discussion.

 

[believe]

My DDs don't have a $100 purse, but they do have items that cost $200. Do they understand the value of money as well as helping others???? YES. We give of our time, money and energy to help others. My daughters help me put together 60 homeless lunches every month. They also give up their own personal items for donations. They don't get everything they ask for, most items they save their allowance for or they receive as a gift for birthday or holiday. If my daughters asked for a $100 purse for Christmas and that was what they wanted and I could afford it, they would get it. That is no different than getting them their gameboy or digital camera that they have gotten in the past.

I came from a family that had to live off food stamps when my Dad was out of work. We had to save our money if we wanted to participate in an activity. I know what it means to not have everything, even heat. Can't tell you how many mornings I couldn't get showers because our pipes froze from no heat.

I don't think buying a child an expensive item makes them not understand charity or the value of money, it is what you are teaching along with it.

 

[azgal81]

If someone wants to buy their child a $175 purse who really cares. I don't think that is really a issue. Doesn't mean their child will grow up and be spoiled rotten and not know the value of a dollar.

 

[DisneyBlonde]

Practically speaking...when we go grocery shopping I'll have DS get me something, like for instance kitty litter, and I'll have him get whichever size is the best buy. He also picks up our 2 liter bottles of soda (Coke or Pepsi, whichever is on sale), whatever cereal he wants (in the size box that's the best buy), etc. Of course, I've also given my share of 'money doesn't grow on trees' speaches. But I think it helps to involve them in actually spending money.

 

[drgnfly30]

What is up with bringing up old posts tonight?!

 

[Enchanted Tiki Bird]

I guess you're asking me. I don't get on here as regularly as some people but still enjoy partaking in the conversations, so I subscribe to the ones of interest and check in with them when I can. Sorry if this is a problem.

 

[Goofyluver]

My DS gets an allowance. If he wants something, he buys it himself. If he can't afford it, he doesn't get it. (This statement is deceptive because he is an only child and an only grandson and pretty much has everything a boy could want) But, he is not a spoiled brat! At Christmas he adopts a child and buys him or her a Christmas present with his own money (like the Angel Tree). I also have started making him buy presents for everyone in the family. I took him to the dollar store last year, where everything is a dollar, and he had to buy everyone a present with his own money. He had a blast and was very thoughtful.