8th grade "graduation"

[DisneyBabies]

I agree with the other posters about going with a sundress. She will be cooler, its something she can wear all summer, and it shouldnt set you back gobs of money. And she will still feel special by having something new to wear .

I will be the lone wolf on this thread to say that I dont think grade 8 graduations are ridiculous, though. For my sons elementary school, while every student received their diploma, it was an opportunity to recognize deserving kids for going above and beyond the requirements with a selection of special awards to honour those achievements. And it wasnt just special recognition for academics....there were awards to recognize leadership, student service, athletics, respect and responsibility, community involvement, etc.

Grade 8 grad is a milestone more than an achievement IMHO. And my personal opinion is that milestones should be celebrated, small or big. Life is short, and you never know whats around the next corner. My son and my dad were best buddies, and my father was proud as punch to watch as his beloved grandson received his grade 8 diploma. Four months later cancer stole him from our family. I am forever grateful he could be there and see the kind of young man my boy was turning out to be.

Enjoy the graduation and approach it with a good attitude. Your daughter will appreciate it and it will be a fond memory for her if nothing else. Enjoy the moment, because believe me....they grow up way too fast.

You are definitely not the lone wolf in this. I completely agree with you.

We have a 1st grade moving on ceremony at our school (instead of kindergarten) and there were quite a few parents at the planning meeting who voiced the opinion that it is stupid and we should just forget the whole thing. And I will say the same thing here that I said at that meeting:

This graduation may not be important to you, but it is a big deal for your child and should be treated as such.

I think sometimes parents look on these sorts of things with the view of an adult and forget that these things aren't about us. They are about our children and should be viewed from that perspective.


As far as the op saying the children don't do anything to deserve this ceremony:

Did you do their homework for them? Did you do their school projects completely on your own? Did you go in and takes their tests for them? Did you sit in their seat and participate in their classes for them? If the answer to those questions is no, then how can you say your child didn't accomplish anything?

Aside from all the things kids learn in middle school, this is also a celebration of the fact that they have matured from children to teens to young adults who are now taking on the responsibilities of handling high school. That's not the easiest transition for most kids and they should be recognized for doing so.

If nothing else, use this ceremony as a time to reflect on the fact that your daughter is growing up. She's not the baby that wanted cuddles anymore. She's a young adult who is changing and growing very quickly and there really won't be many more moments like this for her . . . or you. Enjoy this moment for what it is, not what it might be four years from now.

 

[lpandorf]

I did not make get a chance to read through the entire thread, so sorry if this has been mentioned. Do you have a Plato's closet nearby? My daughter is finishing 6th grade and will be moving to junior high next year. They are having a 6th grade dance and she asked for a new skirt that she could wear with one of her current tops. We found a nice skirt for $10 that looked brand new (think it was Hollister) that she can pair with many different tops all summer. She did not care it came from Plato's closet and was happy to have something new and cute to her. I saw some cute dresses for $12, as well.

 

[angierae]

I also graduated in 1993 ~ and had none of those things, other than high school graduation.

OP, if your DD doesn't find anything suitable in her closet, I would go with previous suggestions and check out Kohl's, JcPenney, Forever 21 or even Plato's closet.

Good luck!

Which is exactly my point. It's not a "kids these days" issue, it's a "what school district you happen to be in" issue. Some schools do these things, some don't, but they've been happening for a long, long time.

 

[NYCDiane]

I love when people talk about "kids these days" and it's thing that I had. I had a huge preschool graduation party outside, with little caps and we got to paint our teacher's car like the high school kids do. We had a 5th grade graduation in the gym. 8th grade I was in a different district but we had a huge "8th grade prom" type dance, and then of course high school.

I graduated in 1993. That was nearly 20 years ago, and I had all these same graduation things that people are attributing to "kids these days."
And yes, when I do a really good job on a project, my boss praises me, and tells me what a valuable member of the organization I am.

I graduated long before that. We had an 8th grade graduation but only because we were all in the school from 1st to 8th and were all going to different high schools. I didn't get a new outfit or dress. We wore caps/gowns and I wore an old dress that was passed on to me from someone.

You're talking about when you do a "really good job on a project". That's above and beyond. My snarky comment was meant to point out how kids are going to expect applause and celebration just for their presence. My job awards us in the forms of bonuses when we earn it. EARN it, meaning you have to go above and beyond to get that bonus if you want one. And if you take time off (outside pre-approved vacation/personal time)? Your bonus gets docked

 

[NYCDiane]

Anyway.... back to the original topic which was the new dress thing and my budget..... We're going to hit her closet and see what she has. If nothing, I'll give her a budget. If we can't find anything then she'll just have to make a choice from what she has.

Thanks again for those who provided positive and helpful feedback.

TOPIC CLOSED

 

[Nancyg56]

I can't even imagine anyone knowing if it's new or not. There are so many kids "graduating" that they had to break it up into more than one ceremony and many of her besties won't even be in her ceremony.

I know you want to be done with the discussion but I am a little shocked that you are so dismissive of this event. I understand that it seems like a silly event that means more money spent but I can assure you that your DD is not viewing it that way. She is "graduating" and making one more step towards adulthood. She worked hard for this so ask yourself how you would feel if she was not "graduating".

My bigger concern as a teacher and a parent is your attitude toward the hard work your child has completed in middle school. Yes, parenting is hard work but it is a parents responsibility to support their child by getting him or her to school, supporting them as they complete assignments and being involved. Middle school is a tough time. It establishes a lot of new routines, more difficult and independent assignments and presents a lot of new social skills to master! Chances are your child grew in so many ways in the past three years and deserves a lot of credit for that. To not at least acknowledge that is quite disrespectful to your child.

This is what has been bothering me about the posts. I have raised my kids but still remember that year that my son was in danger of not going on to HS. My brilliant son did not give a rat's behind about school, grades or moving on to anything else. That summer I drove him back and forth to Summer School and tried to find whatever would be the key to motivating him to care. I would have moved Heaven and Earth to be celebrating his achievements. It took years for him to break out of that shell he was in.

Anyway.... back to the original topic which was the new dress thing and my budget..... We're going to hit her closet and see what she has. If nothing, I'll give her a budget. If we can't find anything then she'll just have to make a choice from what she has.

Thanks again for those who provided positive and helpful feedback.

TOPIC CLOSED

I believe that you are missing an opportunity. This really is not about money, it is possible to dress up an outfit that is in your DD's closet and make it a new one. You are setting the stage for how your DD includes you in her achievements and how she values them and herself. If you are begrudging her a celebration because you see no value in it why should she see any value ion moving from one stage to another in her learning and development. My youngest son was invited to his Senior Awards Night. His buddy was too. No one was there but me to watch that young man get the best sportsman award, his Mom thought it was just another evening. What bothered me so much was that he just took it in stride because his Mom never did celebrate achievements throughout his academic and athletic career. Don't wait until your DD just accepts that you think her achievement are routine. Celebrate her so that she will continue to strive for her best.

 

[docmcstuffens]

You are setting the stage for how your DD includes you in her achievements and how she values them and herself. If you are begrudging her a celebration because you see no value in it why should she see any value ion moving from one stage to another in her learning and development. My youngest son was invited to his Senior Awards Night. His buddy was too. No one was there but me to watch that young man get the best sportsman award, his Mom thought it was just another evening. What bothered me so much was that he just took it in stride because his Mom never did celebrate achievements throughout his academic and athletic career. Don't wait until your DD just accepts that you think her achievement are routine. Celebrate her so that she will continue to strive for her best.

That is great Advice!! Nancy I see a lot of kids whos parents do not value the achievements of their childen, with kids they mostly forget the big things, but the little ones can stay with them.

 

[SenecaWolf]

Oh, another suggestion, I know in the Buffalo area there are places that take gown donations, have them cleaned and provide prom gowns for girls who are having difficulties affording a dress. Perhaps there is something in your area similar that may help you! Good luck

 

[Hrhpd]

I'm with you on 8th grade graduations being rediculous! I never had one when I was a kid and it seems like nowadays they try to make everything a celebration.

If it truly isn't in your budget, you just have to stand firm. A new dress to wear under her gown isn't worth blowing your budget! I would suggest taking a look at the dresses she may already have and seeing if you can come up with a way to add a few embellishments to refresh them, or as someone else mentioned, check somewhere like Ross/TJ Maxx. Definitely go for something that she can even wear casually in the summer rather than a semi-formal type dress if you do decide to purchase one for her.

I graduated 8th grade in 1972. We had an 8th grade graduation.

I am going to also recommend Forever21. I just bought DD the cutest dress to wear to a party and it was $20.00. Love the place. Cute trendy clothes and inexpensive.

 

[MrsPete]

Finishing middle school is an achievement -- yes, it's an achievement that was expected of them, an accomplishment that is within the grasp of the vast majority of our students, but still something worthy of note. Sure, for those of us with college degrees and years of experience as adults, 8th grade work looks pretty simple, but to an 8th grader, it's challenging.

How much celebration is appropriate? That seems to be what everyone's really discussing. Personally, I think big parties and limos are "too much" for the event, and you don't want to fall into the "every kid gets a trophy, every achievement deserves as parade" concept . . . but neither should finishing 8th grade feel like every other Friday night. Dinner with the family (graduate's choice), then going to a dance in a pretty, inexpensive dress sounds appropriate to me.

In my mind, high school graduation is the biggest "promotion ceremony". It's the end of compulsory education, and it's the beginning of their real choices in their schooling. It's also the beginning of adulthood, moving out on one's own, and other such things. High school is the end of a phase in family life, and it deserves a big send-off, a big celebration. The smaller promotions deserve some celebration, but over-doing them does detract from the eventual high school graduation. Our society does often make it hard to find the middle-ground, the healthy, moderate point.

In contrast, college graduation isn't nearly such a change -- college graduation, in my mind, is just a nice meal out with the family.

 

[cornflake]

I don't understand the differentiation between 8th grade, h.s., college and grad school.

If 8th grade graduation is ridiculous because that's what she's supposed to be doing - doesn't that hold for the rest? Presuming you're raising her to expect to do those things as a matter of course, then at least h.s. and college graduation are what she's supposed to be doing so why would you make any deal out of those either?

I too had an 8th grade graduation, which my parents treated as a graduation. Other family came, there was a modest party, etc. And you'd better believe there was no question I was going to h.s., college, etc. However, as many mentioned, it's a milestone. I'd been in that school since first grade and did indeed graduate (not "graduate") to high school - which we all worked hard to get into.

By the way, take it while you can get it, because I had no interest in attending a graduation ceremony past h.s.

 

[herdtoDisney]

My boys' went/are going to a magnet middle school that does 'promotion'. they make it clear it isn't a graduation and don't allow gowns/formal wear. They do insist boys wear pants NOT jeans and shoes NOT sneakers. Since my boys are growing like weeds, of course they outgrew their winter dress pants and shoes-so I had to buy new ones for my last graduate and will be buying again for the one finishing next month

We're jeans and sneakers people so this is about as formal as we get

 

[aprilgail2]

I know you want to be done with the discussion but I am a little shocked that you are so dismissive of this event. I understand that it seems like a silly event that means more money spent but I can assure you that your DD is not viewing it that way. She is "graduating" and making one more step towards adulthood. She worked hard for this so ask yourself how you would feel if she was not "graduating".



.

I agree! I am sad for her daughter that her mother thinks that its a silly event. My daughter is working damn hard in Jr. High and it will be my privilege and honor to buy her a new outfit and watch her move on to the next big step in her life! I can't imagine how she would feel if I just thought of this as a silly thing!

She will get new clothes, shoes etc and we will probably go out to dinner at her favorite place, The Melting Pot to celebrate!

 

[undertheradar]

I agree! I am sad for her daughter that her mother thinks that its a silly event. My daughter is working damn hard in Jr. High and it will be my privilege and honor to buy her a new outfit and watch her move on to the next big step in her life! I can't imagine how she would feel if I just thought of this as a silly thing!

She will get new clothes, shoes etc and we will probably go out to dinner at her favorite place, The Melting Pot to celebrate!

Why are you questioning this mother's opinion? Yes, you expressed that this is an important milestone to you and your daughter. Others have expressed opinions like yours and others have expressed opinions that they believe that the 8th grade "graduation" or "culmination" is an excess celebration. Sorry, the OP wrote that money is an issue and that she didn't have excess budget for this. Why give someone a hard time just because they don't view this event the same way you do? Unless a student is not planning to continue on to high school, I don't understand the formal pageantry used to advance from middle school to high school. After all, there are four more years of school to receive one's high school diploma. Now high school graduation is a milestone that I believe should be celebrated. Again, we all have differing opinions on this.

 

[punkin]

Really, people this is not a value judgment. OP is entitled to her opinion (and it's a perfectly valid one). As far as a cheap dress, I will also recommend Forever 21 for a dress she will wear only once. They have some nice dresses as low as $10 in there. Yes, the quality is crap, but who cares if she'll only wear it once.

I also graduated from 8th grade. I got a new Gunne Sax dress that I absolutely loved (and wore to many parties after graduation) and my family went to my favorite Chinese place and I was allowed to order Lobster Cantonese Style.

Yes, I remember 8th grade graduation and it was special.

 

[AntePrincess]

In our home we get my eldest daughter one nice dress each spring/summer and each fall/winter (my youngest daughter gets hand-me-downs, but we also often get her a "princess," ie used flower girl, dress from Goodwill for her dressup trunk and she feels this is a good deal). Anyway, the dressy dress usually comes from Costco and costs less than $20. She and her sister wear their season's dresses every Sunday for church and every other special occasion in between.

By the time our eldest is thinking 8th grade graduation, her seasonal dress will probably be something a lot plainer, so I might not get her a NEW dress just for graduation, but I would almost certainly get her a nice, special accessory. In fact, I think I'd aim for something that is sizeless like a scarf that she can keep with her as she gets older. (That reminds me, I need to get red scarves for Pentecost...)

So, is there a dress she can already wear and would a trip to Claire's (or going through your old unworn accessories) do the trick?