I agree that if there is an illness or emergency or major conflict time wise then it is not the child's fault. In this case the mom talked to another mom in the class outside of the studio and told her that she was not going to let her child participate in dance because she was not maintaining good grades in school. I understand her decision with that as a parent but IMO if you do that then she doesn't participate any more from that point on. You don't pull her from the program and then have her show up to the recital unprepared if no dance was her punishment. What lesson was learned by the kid? Here she was "punished" but was able to participate in an event that was a big deal to the other members of the class who had worked very hard and attended class as expected to learn the dance and were prepared. If it wasn't a beginner class and had been more uptempo it is possible that someone besides this noshow who could have gotten injured during the performance because she was not where she needed to be. At this age especially, the reward of going to class every week and practicing is the recital. So in esence she got the reward without doing any of the work. Not the lesson I want my kids to learn, which is why I talked about it with both of them about how it affected the class and DD and why I tell them that they make a commitment to the team and will not disappoint the other members or the instructor/coach by not doing their part.
Lisa,
You POV is well taken.. and I must say I agree entirely with your POV. However, for what it's worth... I try to ASSUME every parent is trying to do the best they can as a parent. Obviously, just about everyone can stand for some improvement as a parent - myself included. However... if it were ME and our kids influenced by a situation like yours'... I'd be grumping initially... then MAYBE... (maybe not) ... I'd be thinking... OK... lets' forgive them ... but a part of me would probably hope to
not find that girl in my daughters next dance class recital. AND, probably a bigger part of me would not be very forgiving IF anyone got hurt through lack of proper preparation.
So on another note - here's something sad and/or glad depending upon ones perspective. I share this as a thought for consideration in guarding OUR children.
Just today we attended our 1st swim team practice - and I noticed one of the younger girls whom we knew well as wearing an odd swim suit "tight" with curious geometry and patches. So I casually enquired - and the Mom told me her daughter's suit had patches to cover her SKIN GRAFTS to prevent scarring. Further conversation revealed that thier daughter had been RUN OVER by a car! It was then I realized that here it was that thier daughter was probably the one I heard about! Some of the neighbors had been talking about a little girl in our community who had been riding her bicycle with her sister and father - and had gotten a bit ahead of them (Dad trailing)... and a car backed out of the driveway and ... and this happened.
The notion I am suggesting is that
we need to LEAD our kids when riding bikes, scooters or anything else. I am guilty of NOT keeping up except when the kids reach an interesection - where they are forbidden to cross without an adult. WELL.... since having heard this story I now lead my kids on rides anywhere. And, now it comes to pass that we KNEW the family who had this tragedy. We've been to the Hollywood Bowl with them - done neighborhood pot luck gatherings and such - but obviously we're not THAT close to them. And oddly enough we had not done much with them in a few months. Now we know why we had not seen much of the parents like we used to. [
Sigh ] .... Thier kids are one grade ahead of Julianna and Kelea respectively... so our kids are close in age but don't quite match up for some kinds of gatherings.
At any rate, I had mentioned there might besome who would think there was somtething positive to be "
GLAD" about. And having seen the recovering little one I can say it is wonderful to see her practicing with the swim team. Her recovery implies a lot of healing has resulted in a lot of normal function recovered in spite of the horriffic nature of the accident. And - of course - I only found out superficially today. SO I did not ask how much recovery has really occured - and how much is NOT recovering the way we'd like. Questons like that are not quite appropriate ... yet. OR... possibly ever... depending upon the circumstances. Only time will tell.
Remember... I was the one who was also hit by a car while I rode my bicycle in a charitable fundraiser for MS ... where it broke my hip and a wrist... plus I lost a few ounces of skin too from the tumble. So - bicycle accidents are something I am uniquely qualified to remark on. Everyone must remember to
ALWAYS wear a properly adjusted crash helmet - because in my case the helmet was damaged/destroyed - as it should be in protecting ME from having my head seriously damaged.
At any rate - I share these experiences in the hopes that someone - someday here will AVOID a tragedy because of the increased caution that they exercise while recalling my TURE stories. We're all trying desperately to do the best we can - I really believe that - yet we're all imperfect people (
excepting maybe counselors Lil'G or TOM31 who "might" be p-e-r-f-e-c-t 
) so hopefully the best we can do is ENOUGH... eh?! < wink >
She'll be a better place though at least.
She pretty much lost most of her student s due to this and her Special Student got bored and quit.
This is one of those signs of growing older, welcome to the club. 
Well it was busy today, sure keep telling myself that and no they are not watching me. 
ing this for a belated birthday Rita. 
I have the dress and Kevin has the shirt!
I will probably pack both sets.
