$500 for a class ring????

[MichelleVW]

This is why it wouldn't work: I am trying to teach my kid our family values. Our family values do not include spending large amounts of money on crap, which is what I consider a class ring to be. So, just as I wouldn't allow her to spend money on porn or A&F clothes, I wouldn't allow her to buy a class ring.

If she doesn't like living according to our family values, she can move out and find out that spending $450 on a class ring is a really bad idea when you have to buy food and pay rent and pay for college on your own. It's that simple.

And for every kid that was allowed to spend their money without restrictions and thru some miracle grew up to be fiscally-responsible, I can point to another young adult in serious financial difficulty bec they still haven't learned any money management. My coworker had that attitude with her kids. Even though she and her dh are good money managers, all of their kids are in serious financial trouble. All of them continally overdraft on their checking accounts, have no savings, and think nothing of buying $500 I-phones, and one of them never does laundry -- she just buys new clothes. They now deeply regret not being more 'controlling' of their kids' money -- bec they feel that they never TAUGHT them how to manage it. How can you learn how to manage money if you are never taught the value of it?

It may work that way, or your kids could be like friends of mine who were always told how and on what they could spend their money.....as adults they went hog wild and went into debt because their parents always told them no.

I also have a friend who went crazy after he got divorced (got married young to someone very controlling about money) and after the divorce he went CRAZY spending money because for 8 years he was told how he could spend his own money...

 

[m&m's mom]

I am not sure the purpose of a class ring. If it is to celebrate an achievement, I would rather buy one for college graduation. I never wanted one because I knew I was going to college and wanted to show off that accomplishment.
By the time I graduated from college I spent the equivalent amount remaking my Grandmothers wedding ring.
I never regretted having one. That being said, my Mom was a single parent who had 1 child on grad school, one in medical school, and 1 in college and looking at one more starting soon so class rings were not a priority.

 

[horseshowmom]

The high school ring is kind of important. It is definitely a social thing.

On the other side. . .get the cheap one. Mine cost less than $100 (granted it was in '89). I never had any problem not getting a gold one. You can't tell by looking or picking it up that it isn't gold. I believe mine was made from melted beer cans. I still have it, in fact, I'm not sure where my actual gold (and unbelievably expensive) college ring is (because I never wear it) but I know exactly where my high school one is.

Convince you son that he doesn't need the expensive one, explain that the cheap one still serves it's purpose, save up for the college ring.

I agree. A class ring is important to a lot of kids. Personally, I would not spend a lot of money for it, because the vast majority of people don't wear them after they get out of high school, but the cheaper, non-gold versions serve the same purpose. As I said previously, DD's was less than $100 (quite a bit less, actually - I think it was $70-$80). I let her get it when she was in the 9th grade, so she could wear it for 4 years. Just like me, she didn't wear it after high school, but I was satisfied since I didn't spend $500.

 

[eliza61]

Youngest DS, who is a sophmore and STILL growing , brought home information for class rings Friday.
I was tied up with getting the new computer up and running so I just now opened the envelope to read the information.
The rings are, on an average, $500!
I don't think I want to order one for that price. Will he be a social outcast if I don't?
Would you pay that price for a high school ring?

TC

We're in the same boat. Ds just ordered his ring and we got the price down to $389.00. I remember when I was in HS, the cool thing to do was to exchange rings with your girlfriend/boyfriend. I've already told him, that would not be happening.

 

[eliza61]

This is why it wouldn't work: I am trying to teach my kid our family values. Our family values do not include spending large amounts of money on crap, which is what I consider a class ring to be. So, just as I wouldn't allow her to spend money on porn or A&F clothes, I wouldn't allow her to buy a class ring.

If she doesn't like living according to our family values, she can move out and find out that spending $450 on a class ring is a really bad idea when you have to buy food and pay rent and pay for college on your own. It's that simple.

And for every kid that was allowed to spend their money without restrictions and thru some miracle grew up to be fiscally-responsible, I can point to another young adult in serious financial difficulty bec they still haven't learned any money management. My coworker had that attitude with her kids. Even though she and her dh are good money managers, all of their kids are in serious financial trouble. All of them continally overdraft on their checking accounts, have no savings, and think nothing of buying $500 I-phones, and one of them never does laundry -- she just buys new clothes. They now deeply regret not being more 'controlling' of their kids' money -- bec they feel that they never TAUGHT them how to manage it. How can you learn how to manage money if you are never taught the value of it?

Not sure if I would say that the class ring is "crap" especially since I buy $500 coach bags and I'm pretty financially smart. My issue is that since for many kids it is important (and while I think my kids make pretty good money decisions, they are still basically teenagers-which means they like to be like the other kids) I would hope that the school would make it more accessable for all kids.

 

[luvsmickeymouse]

My advice?

Don't get the most expensive. I got my son a nice 10k ring. It was almost $400. He has hardly worn it, he has let every girlfriend he has had wear it instead. That and his band jacket. I was so excited for him to get the nicer one and he doesn't even wear it. Now he is in college and he wants a college ring. Meanwhile his current girlfriend has the high school ring.

My youngest son doesn't want a ring, I hope he changes his mind.

I lost my h.s. ring.

 

[Golf4food]

I didn't get a class ring. Didn't want one. They were expensive and I really wasn't extrememly fond of my high school to the point where I would want to wear the ring after high school, so I offered my parents an alternative: they got me a normal mens ring instead of a class ring and I still wear it to this day when a high school ring would have long been relegated to the memory box.

 

[mickyzzzzz05]

We have 3 kids, now ages 24, 27 & 28 years old. The oldest and youngest are girls. The class ring brochures came home and after looking at them and talking to several of our friends older (college age) children we offered to buy each of the girls a nice ring (spending about $200 for each) from a jewelry store or put $200 toward a class ring. They went the dress ring route. They both still wear their dress rings. For our son we offered to put the money towards a set of golf clubs that he wanted or a class ring. He has since traded that set of clubs in for a newer set.

The majority of the older kids we had talked to said that they hardly ever wore the ring. None of them wore it after high school. We asked our children to consider what would be best for them for the long term. I am not saying that if they had chosen the class ring that it would have been wrong but I don't think that they would still be wearing the ring after high school.

 

[disneymom3]

When I was in highschool, my parents told me that I could have one if I bought it myself. Wasnt' that important to me. I don't think most of my friends had them either. That is probably going to be my approach with my own kids too. Oldest one is only 11 though and is in fact homeschooled right now, so I haven't given it a lot of thought. DH had one from college that he used to wear all the time but he lost it. I am actually hoping to replace it for Christmas for him.

 

[Kath2003]

Ack. You're not getting it. We are in a different ecomomic position than you. We do not have that kind of discretionary income. I quoted the shoe thing from you as an example. In general, I went through college with very little discretionary income because I knew my parents were sacrificing financially at the time giving me tuition money. I expect we will be in a similar situation while our kids were in college - and no, I will not be happy if their entertainment budget etc. is more than mine while I am still giving them money.

My whole point was that your parents taught you good money management skills within your economic means. My parents, and many other parents do the same thing by discouraging large less practical expenses - because for them, class rings etc. are an extravagance that is simply not reasonable.

See, if my parents said to me that they'd reduce financial support if I "had a larger entertainment budget" or bought expensive items, that would simply encourage me to stop earning my own money. Why earn extra for the luxuries in life if your basics are going to be reduced as a result?

My parents simply told me: "This is what you need to pay each month: $80 in car insurance, $30 for your cell phone and you need to put $200 a month toward college." Now, if I'd wanted I could have not taken any extra shifts and made my $350 a month which would have simply left me with $40 a month for lunches. If my parents were going to start demanding rent for me if I worked any more hours to earn more money, then I wouldn't have done it? Why would I work harder for no benefit? But instead, I took on more hours so that most of the time I was earning $500 a month and in the vacations I was earning $2,000 a month. MOST of this went towards college, but I also got a few nice purchases such as my shoes, the occasional CD, a vacation and good nights out.

It's like your boss saying to you, "If you do overtime, I'm reducing your hourly pay because we can only afford to pay you $X per week." Why would anyone do overtime for no reason?

Having the opportunity to earn more meant a) I was used to dealing with large sums of money before college and b) I got more work experience. When I went to college, my parents helped me out to the extent they could afford, which covered the basics beyond my student loan. If I wanted to go out partying, I had to earn that money. If I wanted to go away at spring break, I had to earn that money. New clothes, books etc. same deal. I DID go out and earn money, and the amount they gave me never changed. But if they'd said to me "if you earn money, we'll take away what we currently give you", why would I haul my butt into town at 7am 3 days a week to work an 8-hour shift in a shop for $10 an hour?

Now it's different if you're in a financial situation where you can only afford to give Johnny $100 a month at college: then he HAS to go and earn money to pay for the basics. But my parents said to me, "Kath2003, we are going to give you enough to get by. Not to go partying, but enough to put food on the table." The difference between my situation and yours is that you seem to be adding, "But if you choose to earn more money, we'll take the existing support away".

I guess I trusted that my parents were financially responsible enough to give me only what they could afford. If that had been nothing (and it has been at times), then so be it. It just means I work harder to continue with the lifestyle I enjoy.

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

So, would you be happy for your child to spend $300 over a period of say 3 months on CDs, clothes, going out etc. or is it just that they saved up and spend their money on one big thing that's not allowed?

I had a finite source of money. I saved up for 3 months to get my $300 shoes. If I'd spent $100 a month in Starbucks, trips to the cinema, cheaper clothes, and a couple of CDs, how is that any different?

I would NEVER in my life pay $300 for a pair of shoes and I would NEVER let my child do it either. Sorry. Its not happening.

 

[Kath2003]

I would NEVER in my life pay $300 for a pair of shoes and I would NEVER let my child do it either. Sorry. Its not happening.

They're very nice shoes? I still have them, 6 years later. That's only $50 a year

Like I said, if your child has the money, why shouldn't they buy them? $300 is a couple of CDs, a few meals out, a few cinema trips with friends, a new pair of jeans, a few Starbucks coffees and a new pair of sneakers, would you stop them buying that over a period of several months? At least I have something to show for all my hard work (as I would if I'd bought a class ring with it). If I'd frittered it away on smaller items, I'd have never noticed it vanishing.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

I never wore my high school ring much, because it was a big clunker like the old fashioned high school rings...the kind that's so bulky, your fingers are spread out. There weren't many choices, but there are now. My college ring is petite and a very nice piece of jewelry, and if I were as skinny as I was in college, I'd still be wearing it. Every so often, I'll take it out and wear it on my pinky, but I don't find that comfortable. I also don't wear my engagement and wedding bands...same reason...I'm a wee bit chunkier than I was back then.

If my high school ring was as nice as my college ring, I'd feel the same way about wearing it...I'd wear it if it fit. And when I have worn my college ring, I can't think of one person who gasped or whispered or exclaimed in horror that it was so uncool of me to be wearing it 20+ years later. Who even notices? After high school, are people really that childish??? And what would be the difference if it happened to be a very nice high school ring?

We bought both of our DDs their high school rings; don't remember the cost. DH is in the women's accessories industry, and insisted on quality...our choice. Our kids have lived in the same town their whole lives, and it's a closeknit community. They're proud of their school, and have a whole lot of school spirit. For them, having a ring was/is important. Oldest DD is a college sophomore and still wears her high school ring...it's a nice ring. I'll have to ask her if she's been shunned or considered "uncool" for doing so.

And no, I don't let my kids have everything they want (hardly!!!) whether it's their money or ours, but I understand and agree with them that THIS is a special purchase. If you don't think it is, then . Obviously, there are different degress of school spirit in schools around the country, and different ways of showing it.

Oldest DD is on her own...no longer lives on campus...and pays her own bills (except car insurance)...her choice. If she moves back on campus, we'll pay for her housing (she's got a 4 yr tuition scholarship ), but then I'd have something to say about how else she spends her money...and she knows it.

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

They're very nice shoes? I still have them, 6 years later. That's only $50 a year

Like I said, if your child has the money, why shouldn't they buy them? $300 is a couple of CDs, a few meals out, a few cinema trips with friends, a new pair of jeans, a few Starbucks coffees and a new pair of sneakers, would you stop them buying that over a period of several months? At least I have something to show for all my hard work (as I would if I'd bought a class ring with it). If I'd frittered it away on smaller items, I'd have never noticed it vanishing.

Well..I also have said that I would never spend over $75 on a pair of jeans..BUT I just got a new pair of $150 Joe's Jeans as a reward for reach my 120# goal weight.... !
I was thinking too... teenagers may still be growing..lets say that their $300 shoes only fit for a few months before they outgrow them!
Can I ask what kind of shoes they are?

 

[Kath2003]

Well..I also have said that I would never spend over $75 on a pair of jeans..BUT I just got a new pair of $150 Joe's Jeans as a reward for reach my 120# goal weight.... !
I was thinking too... teenagers may still be growing..lets say that their $300 shoes only fit for a few months before they outgrow them!
Can I ask what kind of shoes they are?

They're boots, actually. Black leather boots, with a decent heel on them.

I got them when I was almost 17 and I'm now almost 23. At 17, I'd had the same size feet for three years so I was very confident they'd always fit (and they do) but I know boys feet grow until they are much older.

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

They're boots, actually. Black leather boots, with a decent heel on them.

I got them when I was almost 17 and I'm now almost 23. At 17, I'd had the same size feet for three years so I was very confident they'd always fit (and they do) but I know boys feet grow until they are much older.

Okay..I didn't know they were boots...that changes my opinion a little.....

 

[Kath2003]

Okay..I didn't know they were boots...that changes my opinion a little.....

I have a lot of boots - 9 pairs, in fact.

The boots I currently live in were $25 by Hot Kiss when I was in the states. I knew they were cheap and nasty when I got them, but I weathered them down for the "worn" look and they look awesome. I call them my pirate boots. They leak in the rain though (you get what you pay for!)!!

Seriously though, I've bought some dumb stuff in my time but the majority of things that were dumb were cheap (i.e. under $50) so I didn't put much thought into the purchase. I shopped for the perfect boots for weeks and I knew which ones I wanted way before I bought them.

I got some new boots last month - they're brown tall boots with a cowboy-shape heel, they're SO hot. They were $150 but I can already tell they won't last more than a couple of winters.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

Okay..I didn't know they were boots...that changes my opinion a little.....

Oh yeah...boots are different. I had my Frye boots for years, altho they didn't cost $300 (but probably the equivalent, back then).

OMG...they still sell them. I think they were just like this! (Who knew...I should've kept them, altho my feet are a bit bigger, 3 pregnancies later. )

Sorry...OT.

 

[chisnpeke]

First of all, I think class rings are a total waste of money. Yes, I had one. And I STILL think they are a total waste of money. When I think of how many hours I worked to pay for that piece of crap that was sitting in a drawer by the time September rolled around -- money I could have used for college, I get irritated all over again. I learned an expensive lesson -- I bought the cheapest one available in 1978 and it cost $250. Considering that minimum wage was $2.10, that was a lot of hours I put in for that piece of crap.

I've already told dd that we will not be paying for one and that she cannot use her money for one. If she wants one, she can have mine resized. But I doubt it's going to come up -- she is practical to a fault, so I can't imagine her wanting one.

I understand you not wanting to spend the money on one. But not allowing her to spend her money on one if she really wants one is extremely unfair. Just because you regret buying one does not mean that she will.

 

[chisnpeke]

As to the kids and spending their own money, I offer advice, on where and how to spend their money, but ulitmately it is their money, they worked to earn it, if they choose to blow it, then they also know they won't be getting it replaced by me if they find out they need or want something down the line. Now is the time to be teaching them to be responsible. Dictating is not teaching.

Exactly!