5+ years between kids?

[sk!mom]

My two girls are 6 1/2 years apart --- 19 and just turned 23. When they were younger the older one was sure that she was "the boss" of the younger one....It really has not been a problem though

The difference in 19 and 23 is only 4???

 

[LisaNJ25]

I love the age gap. My kids are 16, 9, 4 and 3. I had a little slip up there at the end lol.


I found things were just so much easier with the gap. I was going good there.. I wouldnt have 2 in college at the same time, 2 in braces at the same time.. and so on.... than my last 2 were 12 months and 6 days apart. It has taken me while to get used to it. While they cant stand to be apart from each other it has taken a toll on me.

My sibling and I have age gaps also.. we go 40, 34, 27, 26, 18. This is mainly due to divorce. But I enjoy my older sister and my little sister.

 

[mamacatnv]

My sister and I didn't always. I resented all the babysitting I had to do and how often she wanted to tagalong with me,

Personally this was something we made every effort to avoid. Just because our DS was old enough and probably the most qualified babysitter on the block, we still hired the local teenage set to watch our DD. The teen would show up and we would say "You are in charge of her, not him" and to him we would say "She (teen) is in charge of your sister, don't give her any trouble" We did not want DS to resent his sister and in our opinions it was not his job to be her babysitter or caregiver.

We made every effort to allow DS to not have his sister interfer in his life and his activities just like as she got older we extended her the same courtesy.

We have really only had 1 major scheduling conflict and that was this year. DS was scheduled to move into his college dorm on DD's 10th birthday. We had no choice, we had to back burner her Birthday. So, we had an honorary B-Day the day before.

 

[december]

Personally this was something we made every effort to avoid. Just because our DS was old enough and probably the most qualified babysitter on the block, we still hired the local teenage set to watch our DD. The teen would show up and we would say "You are in charge of her, not him" and to him we would say "She (teen) is in charge of your sister, don't give her any trouble" We did not want DS to resent his sister and in our opinions it was not his job to be her babysitter or caregiver.

We made every effort to allow DS to not have his sister interfer in his life and his activities just like as she got older we extended her the same courtesy.

We have really only had 1 major scheduling conflict and that was this year. DS was scheduled to move into his college dorm on DD's 10th birthday. We had no choice, we had to back burner her Birthday. So, we had an honorary B-Day the day before.

Yep-I'm looking forward to my kids being able to help with the baby, but I have no intention of turning into the Duggars! I will raise my own baby, and I'll LET, not FORCE my kids to help.

 

[kileybeth]

I had to scan thru all the post to see if I had already commented or not, something about parenting all these kids for so long. . .

so not looking for any prizes but our oldest will be 27 in Jan and our youngest is 3. So about 23 years between the two of them but with so many in between

Our first three were all boys, 5 years apart. Loved it. They are all very different personalities and that worked out great as they never had a whole lot of sibling rivalry with each interest being so different. All 3 have first born triats. Then enter the baby girl, the princess just 2years and a few months later. End of story. Or so we thought. 7 years later we had another boy. and then 2years and a few months later our last girl. so. Everything from 5 years to 7 years to 23 years apart but two sets kinda close as well (much more sibling conflict with that, both sets)

Today they are 26, 21, 16, 13, 5, and 3. Hardest part for me has been kids later in life. I have zilch energy and I remember all to well when I had boatloads and didn't even know enough to appreciate it!

The DH never had to help much with the older 4 but has been very active with the youngest two b/c he had to be. Benefit to the little ones for sure.

I actually enjoyed parenting most in my 30's. We were still growing up with the oldest two it seemed and learning as we went, next two seemed easiest in some ways and now the last two, definitely get spoiled too much and even treated more like grandkids sometimes. oh my!

so, if you've got the time, the health, the desire, go for those big age gaps, they are so nice, I really appreciated them.

only downfall is this. I am 45, my DH is 48. I am just now finishing up with potty training. I have two college grads and two teens, and two preschoolers. That's a lot of parenting issues all at once! And my DH will be 68 when our youngest graduates from college. enough said!

 

[Dismom55]

Personally this was something we made every effort to avoid. Just because our DS was old enough and probably the most qualified babysitter on the block, we still hired the local teenage set to watch our DD. The teen would show up and we would say "You are in charge of her, not him" and to him we would say "She (teen) is in charge of your sister, don't give her any trouble" We did not want DS to resent his sister and in our opinions it was not his job to be her babysitter or caregiver. .

We did use our daughter as a sitter, but would do the same as any other sitter, check to see if she was available, double check the day before and pay her the going rate. Plus she was allowed to have company as long as it was not a boy. If we were going out for dinner, we always provided something she wanted (usually pizza) for her dinner and made sure not to plan our dinners out with out the kids very often, about once a month. I would always have a thank you gift as well as her pay, the gift I would give before we left and the pay when we returned. I just did not want her to think we were taking advantage.

By the way, her father broke the news to her that I was pregnant by asking her if she would baby sit for us next June, June being the month I was due and Christmas being the time we found out. Silly man!

 

[mamacatnv]

We did use our daughter as a sitter, but would do the same as any other sitter, check to see if she was available, double check the day before and pay her the going rate. Plus she was allowed to have company as long as it was not a boy. If we were going out for dinner, we always provided something she wanted (usually pizza) for her dinner and made sure not to plan our dinners out with out the kids very often, about once a month. I would always have a thank you gift as well as her pay, the gift I would give before we left and the pay when we returned. I just did not want her to think we were taking advantage.

By the way, her father broke the news to her that I was pregnant by asking her if she would baby sit for us next June, June being the month I was due and Christmas being the time we found out. Silly man!

I don't see this scenario as "using" the older sibling, I think you thought it out and made an attractive offer to your older child. I think so many parents fall into the convenience/cheaper trap and use the older siblings without considering their schedules, their lives and their pocket books. Your DD made out.

I know a couple of teens that have no choice, they must watch their siblings and they give up school activites as well as social activites because of it.

I'm not saying that DS was never in charge of his sister because sometimes he was, but we were very careful not to abuse it. Heck, last week I was in a pinch, called him to pick up his sister from school which he did for me. (he is living in a dorm on the local Univ. campus but I still buy all his gasoline)

 

[Colleen27]

We did use our daughter as a sitter, but would do the same as any other sitter, check to see if she was available, double check the day before and pay her the going rate. Plus she was allowed to have company as long as it was not a boy. If we were going out for dinner, we always provided something she wanted (usually pizza) for her dinner and made sure not to plan our dinners out with out the kids very often, about once a month. I would always have a thank you gift as well as her pay, the gift I would give before we left and the pay when we returned. I just did not want her to think we were taking advantage.

That's how we plan to handle it too. In a few years, DS will have the opportunity but not the obligation to babysit his sister for extra spending money. I'm sure there will be times I'll ask him to keep an eye on her for quick, run-out-for-milk type errands without pay and without pre-planning, but when it comes to real babysitting for any length of time or at times when it might interfere with his schedule, it will be entirely up to him and he will get paid.

 

[tinkerlisa]

My kids are 5 1/2 years apart.
I don't like it because my older son has a tendency to get real jealous of his brother. I can totally understand since he had me and his dad to himself for so long and now he has to share us with his younger.
I do like it because when they play together they are so fun to watch!
I sometimes wish that they were closer in age but I think that(despite the jealousy), they are real tight with each other.

 

[hmontgomry]

I found things were just so much easier with the gap. I was going good there.. I wouldnt have 2 in college at the same time, 2 in braces at the same time.. and so on.... than my last 2 were 12 months and 6 days apart. It has taken me while to get used to it. While they cant stand to be apart from each other it has taken a toll on me.

I thought I was going to be good with this too-no 2 in diapers, college, etc. They were going to be 6 1/2 years apart-then I had TWINS

 

[BuckeyeGuy28]

As far as the babysitting issue goes, I must be the mean mom...my older two have to babysit and I do not pay them most of the time, unless my DH and are out on a date night or I am having a girls night out or something like that. Otherwise, we tell the older two that it's their contribution to the household, kind of like I do their laundry, cook their meals, drive them everywhere, and they have to do babysitting duty. It all works out and so far, so good...until, I'm sure, they start having boyfriends/girlfriends!!!

 

[sl_underwood]

My kids are 15, almost 12, and 5. Before having children, I always thought it was best to have them close together so they could play together and grow up together but nature just didnt cooperate. When we finally got our last child, our middle dd had a few problems adjusting to no longer being the baby but it really didnt take long before she was totally in love with her little brother. Today, all my children play together, most of the time the age difference is no big deal. I often find all three of my kids playing together. Tonight my oldest cooked dinner and she invited her little brother to help her. Then after they all played hide and seek while I was cleaning up. The girls have a great relationship with their little brother. I have more trouble with my two oldest as my younger dd wants to do the things her older sister is allowed even though she just isnt mature enough but she is close enough in age to feel she should be allowed the same rules. The girls also fight alot with each other, but neither think to fight with their brother.

 

[HolliePoppins]

Well not sure about likes or dislikes yet. Our children are DS19,DD16, and DD2 weeks old tomorrow. It is like starting all over again so far and we love it. She is so beautiful. Here is a pic of DD who I am sure will be a disney lover like her mom.

 

[averill94]

Oh Rose is so beautiful! Congratulations!

Mine are 6 years apart.....thought it was great when my son needed/needs lots of attention with schoolwork etc. Also great because I only had one to take to after school activites and could always be there for him ( DD is just starting "her" things now)

On the other hand while trying to help him with homework etc she is right there trying to nudge her way in!

The plan was to have another right away- physical limits didn't make that possible!

So I do feel like have two only children! ANd here we go again just as my son is in his last year of elementary school DD is just starting up!

 

[mousiemom]

well, i think this is a sign that i landed on this board today! my dh calls me today at work and says,"let's have another baby!" our dd is 8(sept) and has been the biggest pleasure it our lives. we have so much fun w/her and it helps that she rode her 1st roller coaster w/ a loop when she was 5 yrs old, so she is our daredevil. so, we are perfectly happy with her but i get sad when i think that she will never have a sibling. i think of her in the future and us getting older, etc. so, i am stopping my pill today and taking the prenatal vitamins. i am not a young chick either-i'm 38 which means if all goes well i will be 39!!! we are not telling anyone so you dissers pray for us! our dd will be thrilled!!! i can't wait to have a sibling! i love reading all the different stories!
mousiemom

 

[december]

well, i think this is a sign that i landed on this board today! my dh calls me today at work and says,"let's have another baby!" our dd is 8(sept) and has been the biggest pleasure it our lives. we have so much fun w/her and it helps that she rode her 1st roller coaster w/ a loop when she was 5 yrs old, so she is our daredevil. so, we are perfectly happy with her but i get sad when i think that she will never have a sibling. i think of her in the future and us getting older, etc. so, i am stopping my pill today and taking the prenatal vitamins. i am not a young chick either-i'm 38 which means if all goes well i will be 39!!! we are not telling anyone so you dissers pray for us! our dd will be thrilled!!! i can't wait to have a sibling! i love reading all the different stories!
mousiemom

I know it is pregnancy hormones, but everything makes me cry! Good luck! I thought I'd have problems getting pregnant at 35, but my little one is on they way. I hope you have an easy time, too.

 

[ChrisandDon'sMommy]

My oldest son is 9.5 years old and my youngest is 14 months. Yes, they are 9 years apart.

I love it because my oldest is independent enough to take care of some daily needs (e.g. getting a snack, taking a shower) without needing my help. Also, he's a great big brother in that he's a great help. Plus, we've accumulated tons of toys for his baby brother!!!!

College tuition won't be so hard for us either!

They love each other and I'm grateful! My oldest loves his baby brother and my youngest loves his ba-ba (brother).

 

[mousiemom]

oh, thanks! we are gonna try for a year but if it doesn't happen we're okay with that. it took us 5 months the 1st time. how long did it take you with the last one? i see ya'll are taking a trip to disney! we will have to take the new addition when there about 1 cause i can't wait that long to go to wdw!!
mousiemom

 

[mamacatnv]

oh, thanks! we are gonna try for a year but if it doesn't happen we're okay with that. it took us 5 months the 1st time. how long did it take you with the last one? i see ya'll are taking a trip to disney! we will have to take the new addition when there about 1 cause i can't wait that long to go to wdw!!
mousiemom

Once

 

[december]

oh, thanks! we are gonna try for a year but if it doesn't happen we're okay with that. it took us 5 months the 1st time. how long did it take you with the last one? i see ya'll are taking a trip to disney! we will have to take the new addition when there about 1 cause i can't wait that long to go to wdw!!
mousiemom

We had a trip planned for next summer, but we moved the deposit on the townhouse to 2010, when the baby will be about 14 mos old. I am so excited! Dh has never gone with me and the kids, so we'll have 2 new additions (dh and the baby) on the next trip.

I don't have problems getting pregnant! I was off the pill one cycle for this pregnancy (at 35) and for my ds11 (when I was 24). We only tried for dd(almost 9) once, Valentine's Day, when I was 26. I just knew I would have trouble in my 30s, but no problems at all!