5+ years between kids?

[Colleen27]

My oldest will be 8 in Dec., and my youngest will be 3 in April, and I just can't seem to seperate them...lol. When my youngest was born, my oldest would put her step stool next to the crib, just so she could sing to her or give her the pacifier when she started to cry. She always wanted to help with everything. I thought it was just a phase with having a new baby in the house, but almost 3 years later it hasn't changed. She still wants to help her get dressed, help her get on the toilet when she has to go, read to her etc. They love each other so much, I just couldn't ask for more =)

That is my favorite part of the spacing between my two older kids and the baby. Watching them with their little sister makes all those little things even more special! I thought there was nothing more special than a baby's first little smiles, until I got to see those first smiles through the eyes of two adoring older siblings. And you should hear them talk about going back to Disney. Even my too-cool-for-the-mouse 10yo is talking about how we have to go back to Chef Mickey's so Katie can meet Mickey, have to take her on Small World because she'll love the music, etc.

 

[summerrluvv]

My kids are 8 years apart. My son is such a GREAT big brother, adores his little sister and my DD adores her big brother. He's such a great helper and gets excited when she's excited about something new. We went to the zoo yesterday and she kept reaching to hold his hand, it was so cute The best is when he tells her "you're grounded young lady!" My son is on the Autism spectrum, and because of his social issues he doesn't have a lot of friends outside of school, so I think having another child was the best thing I could've done for him.

 

[Reagan&Co.]

I just had one start middle school and one start kindergarten.....I have been a bit sad that they will never be in the same school together.........

 

[davidsprincess]

Like a pp mentioned there is also a huge age difference between my siblings and my self (11yrs with oldest and 6 with middle- I'm the baby). I have good and bad memories of it. We fought a lot, but we also loved a lot. I loved being spoiled by them and hated it when they moved away and I was left alone. Now we are all really close and have been for quite a few years. When I hit my late teens to mid twenties that is when the age difference grew less and less and now we don't notice it at all.

 

[jujashmom]

I have a DD22, DS16 and DD1. I would love to have one more so my youngest isn't like an only child.

DD22 is at USC in grad school, so we'll only see her a few times a year. DS16 is in 10th grade, so he'll be off to college in 2.5 years.

We just took a trip to WDW and had a blast! We spent a few hours together per day and usually had one meal together per day.

And I feel like I'm a much better mother in my 40s than I was in my 20s...I sure do have a lot more patience!

 

[parkers*momma]

I have a DD22, DS16 and DD1. I would love to have one more so my youngest isn't like an only child.

DD22 is at USC in grad school, so we'll only see her a few times a year. DS16 is in 10th grade, so he'll be off to college in 2.5 years.

We just took a trip to WDW and had a blast! We spent a few hours together per day and usually had one meal together per day.

And I feel like I'm a much better mother in my 40s than I was in my 20s...I sure do have a lot more patience!

I totally agree with this!!! I always felt frazzled when I was younger, there wasn't enough time in the day, I'd cry because I thought I was doing things wrong while raising my older ones. With the baby, it's like not a problem, we'll ge through it and move to the next stage. The only problem is my older ones complain, "If I would have done that I would have gotten time out, and she doesn't even get yelled at!"

 

[islangrl]

I have 4; 10, 9, 4 & 3. The two that get along the best are the 9 year old and the 4 year old. 5 year difference, but they always play along nicely. I think it's personality and tempermant that make the biggest difference.

 

[SLK1]

I have a DD22, DS16 and DD1. I would love to have one more so my youngest isn't like an only child.

DD22 is at USC in grad school, so we'll only see her a few times a year. DS16 is in 10th grade, so he'll be off to college in 2.5 years.

We just took a trip to WDW and had a blast! We spent a few hours together per day and usually had one meal together per day.

And I feel like I'm a much better mother in my 40s than I was in my 20s...I sure do have a lot more patience!

See, I feel kind of opposite. With my oldest two, I was creative, fun, and energetic. Now I'm tired, no fun, and my patience ran out many moons ago. I mean, I don't reprimand as much anymore simply because I am too tired to deal with temper tantrums, scoldings, etc. - been there, done that - and therefore what comes across to some as more patient is really just laziness! However, I will say that my dh and I see things in a different light now and we have learned to go with the flow and enjoy all aspects of all these ages. You gotta take the good with the bad!

 

[Fortune1211]

I just wanted to say thank you to the OP for starting this thread!! I usually just lurk not post so forgive me please I have a DS that will be 5 in February and do to my infertility problems that have gotten worse we've been unable to give him a sibling yet. So far this month is looking good and I hope before he starts kindy next year he'll have a little brother or sister Thanks to everyone for their encouraging words!

 

[december]

I have 3 sisters (and 2 brothers-but they grew up with their mother out of state and we see them once a year at Christmas). My mother had 2 as a teen, then 2 with my father (who already had 2 with his exwife). We are 45, 44, 35 (me), and 31. We didn't do much together as kids, but 3 of us are close now. I was with the oldest and youngest all day today, and the youngest is going to my ultrasound appt with me on Tuesday. We shop together, email, and visit all the time. We are currently planning a surprise 62nd birthday party for my mother in Dec. We don't spend time with the 2nd sister, but not because of age. She is mean, and doesn't want to be around anyone. Her loss, not ours.

My kids are 11 and almost 9, and I'm expecting in May. Dh and the kids are so excited, and I can't wait to take a new little one to WDW with us! I think I'll be a better mother in my 30s than in my 20s, because I'm much more confident with myself now.

 

[donac]

My sons are 23 and 18. We have enjoyed the 5 years apart. We got to spend time with our 2nd son after the 1st one went off to college. The 2 of them are very close. It is great to see them go off to be together.

 

[BrerFox]

I am 17. My little brother is 15 and my sister is 11. We went with Mom last year and had the greatest time of our lives(so we are going again!)

 

[Karlzmom]

Oldest 16, baby [and next child] is 2. Took me that long to decide to put my body through pregnancy again Seriously, my bod doesn't react well [preeclampsia, gestational diabetes, you name it....]. Both boys are a joy and I am so glad to have taken the plunge again. I am a completely different mom this time around....though I am sad that I'm raising two "onlys" because of the gap and its not possible to have a #3...

 

[ZPT1022]

I'm happy to see all the positive large age gap stories. I have a 7 year old DD and boy/girl twins who are 4. I was due in April with #4 but I recently had a miscarriage which made me realize just how much I do want another child. The kids will be at least 8 and 5 by the time the next one arrives, depending on how long it takes to get pregnant again (infertility problems). The one thing I can say I look forward to is how excited the kids seem about the possibility of a sibling. They ask us all the time why won't we have another baby (it stings a bit given recent events but it is nice to know that they will be happy if/when another one comes along). I think it will be nice that by the time we have another the twins will be heading off to full day kindergarten which would give me a lot of time to spend with the baby.

 

[mejkjj97]

I'm happy to see all the positive large age gap stories.

I couldn't agree more. Due to complications I have been having, #2 has not been easy. My DD is 3 1/2 and we have been questioning the potential age difference if we have another and what that would mean.
Reading everyone's post is very encouraging.

thanks

 

[Disney87]

delete

 

[kim929]

There is 6.5 yrs between oldest ds and youngest ds. My oldest ds was the youngest of my three children. What I hated about it was oldest ds just started school full time, you know that feeling is. I was doing the happy dance until little lines on a stick stopped the music. I thought it was hard to get back into the baby mode. But once ds came, it was like I was never without a baby. My oldest ds teases the crap out of the little one. Teaches him how to wrestle like the guys on tv, ( have to keep yelling about that one) . But he is also a great teacher of other things. Taking a stick, and making a fishing pole out of it. fun things like that. Trying to plan things that will interest all the children, we have such a wide range of kids. We are a blended family youngest ds is mine with my dh while my oldest are with my ex. Our (Dh) oldest dd is 21 a senior in college, then we have two 18 yrs, one mine one his our (mine) dd15 ds 13 and the youngest ds 7.

 

[mommy-on-the-move]

I went from one extreme to the next- we had almost six years between our eldest and 2nd, and then only 358 days between our 2nd and our 3rd... we have fertility issues so didn't get much control over the matter.

Our second we wanted to be born when our oldest was between 2 and 3 for that ideal gap... we started trying when our eldest was 11 months and then hit a road block- took over 4.5year during which I was d'xd with pcos and annovulatory issues, we underwent clomid cycles and eventually ovarian drilling surgery before being told we'd need an egg donor for IVF, we couldn't afford that so resigned ourselves to one child - 2 months later we were pg with our 2nd, 11 weeks after he was born we were pg with our 3rd (who was then followed by 3 m/cs) our 4th was born when our 3rd was 2.75 so I did eventually get my "ideal" gap.

What do i think of the gaps?

My least favourite gap is ironically the gap we actually wanted between our 1st and second but didn't get until between our 3rd and 4th... it might be a personality thing but #3 was NOT at a good age stage for her little brother to arrive and it was the only time in all 4 we've had jealousy issues or anyone regressing to being more needy.

The tiny gap everyone said would be a nightmare actually ran really smoothly- we had a nearly 7 year old, a one year old and a newborn- we'd had no time to get out of baby mode with the one year old when his sister arrived. They'll ne 5 & 6 in march and they get along like the house on fire, they play great together and it's awesome.

The big gap we have is almost 6 years and it was a fantastic one to have - DD11 (on thursday!) was old enough to share every aspect of the pregnancy, attend all the scans and understand, she was able to talk through her anxieties and worries, she was able to be involved in every aspect- she gave her little brother his middle name (which started a trend- she also gave the youngest 2 their middle names) she helped alot with him when he was born. She's 11 now and she's wonderful with them- our 2nd turned out to have ASD (and dyspraxia too) and she's patient, tollerant, defends him like a mama bear, helps him, helps me. She adores them and they (all 3 of them) treat her like an idol, they all love her.

People told me the big gap would be a mistake and we seriously questionned ourselves whether to continue treatments when she hit four but you know- every nay-sayer who told us what a bad thing both the larger and smaller gaps would be were all one child families or families who've never experienced those gaps. Yes they're work but I don't think there's sibling combination out there that doesn't present it's own challenges.

Right now we're considering a 5th and 6th, our youngest is nearing two and we'll most likely wait until we'll have a 4-5 year gap between him and #5 before hopefully having 5 & 6 in quick sucession like #2 and #3 as we've found for us the smaller and larger gaps are easier to deal with.

 

[cheerforchelsea]

My two girls are 6 1/2 years apart --- 19 and just turned 23. When they were younger the older one was sure that she was "the boss" of the younger one....It really has not been a problem though

 

[sk!mom]

12 years between. Love everything about it. It seems that one child at a time is all DH and I can handle.