3 y.o. DS will NOT poop in the potty

[lecach]

DS has been using the potty on a really good basis for 6 months. Can stay dry all day. But he will NOT poop in the potty no matter what we try. We tried offering a toy that he was begging for as a reward- didn't work. We tried getting him white fruit of the loom underwear like Daddy - didn't work. We told him that if he pooped in the potty he could go to Disneyworld with us - hasn't worked either. We don't know what else to try. He will sit on the potty for an hour if we make him and produce no poop. Then 1 minute afterwards he'll poop in his pants. It doesn't seem to bother him either. Of course he didn't care if his diaper was dirty as a baby either.

Any advice? Do we just have to wait it out? Did anyone else find a solution to this problem? HELP!!!!

 

[chocovrdmicears]

DD6 had the same problem when she was the same age...we tried everything too. The Dr. said it could be a control thing...or it could be uncomfortable so he recommended giving her a chewable benefiber tablet every day to 'help' her go...But she still would always ask for a diaper, then immediately ask to be changed...One day she was sitting on the potty tinkling when she went poop in the potty by accident...She said..'Well that wasn't so bad at all!"...turns out she was afraid to go...Why, I don't know...but it was definately a 'fear' thing. Once she realized it wasn't 'scary' she never ever had a problem.

 

[Aliceacc]

My son was terrified!!!

It all goes back to the unfortunate incident when a pair of underwear got flushed down the toilet (long story.) But he was pretty much certain he was next and we were pretty much certain he would be wearing Pullups to the prom!!!

One day I caught him "in the act" and physically PUT him on the toilet and held him down to finish. He did, then smiled and said "that wasn't so bad "

So hang in there... you son will get past it too!!

 

[Liltx]

Mine just wanted privacy. When we started leaving her alone and closing the door she went. Just a thought?

Monica

 

[acadia1960]

My DS, 3.5 at the time, did the same thing. I was ready to tear my hair out.
I was given some wonderful advice from a mom, leave him alone, no bribes, no yelling etc. We did & in a week, he was on the potty & never had a problem again. Should have known better with DS, (now 12) he has always done everything in his own time.

 

[brymolmom]

Mine did the same thing for awhile...he wasn't afraid - he did it to control the situation. We just ended up waiting it out.

For parents reading this with younger kids - let this be your lesson - it has been my experience that parents have better luck training their little ones when they are more 'trainable' - between 18 and 30 mos old. When they get older - many do this control thing and realize just how badly you want them to do it - so they just as badly don't want to.

Too late for the OP...but if you're reading this with a 15 or 18 month old - start NOW, take the diapers away before they are over 2.5 (even younger with some kids). I am a huge believer in if you truly want to 'train' (as in, deal with accidents as they are learning how to do this new thing not just expecting them to 'get it' on the first day) - it is the parents who must really be ready, not the child.

To the OP - hang in there. It won't go on forever even though it feels like it now.

 

[mom~of~2]

I'm so sorry... I know exactly how you're feeling now. Been there - just got over it recently and my little one will be 4 next month. My DD has been fully potty trained for #1 since she turned 3 but refused to poop on the toilet. Not sure if you've tried this yet: My first step was to move pooping to the bathroom (I let her do it in a diaper - as long as it was IN the bathroom).... I then encouraged her to sit on the little potty (with diaper on) and then the toilet (with diaper on). We were eventually at the point where she would always tell us when she had to go, she put on a pull-up, and then she went. This went on for a long time. I would often "try" to move past this point but nothing ever worked. I swear we tried every incentive we could think of. I searched the internet for a solution... someone swore by having your child blow bubbles while sitting on the toilet (didn't work for me but might be worth a try)... When it got frustrating, I'd back off and give it more time. I didn't want to force the issue because I've heard of some terrible constipation issues that can develop. Then, one day, I gave it another try and it worked! I guess she was finally ready. There was some crying the first time, but the first time is all it took. Now, it's done. It has been such a long road... we started potty training well before 2 years old. She showed signs of readiness early on, but then she got scared and every step of this journey has been extremely difficult. My DD is a very sweet & smart little girl (of course all our children are sweet & smart ) BUT she does not like change and can be stubborn.

Good luck - please know that you're not alone and your DS WILL finally get there!

 

[pbharris4]

When he's on the toilet..tell him he can have 3 M & Ms or jelly bellys or a little of his favorite candy if he poops on the potty. Show it to him too. Kids have no understanding of time. They want instant gratification. Once he does it and is comfortable stop giving him the rewards.

 

[MinnieMe2DW]

I have no advice. I am right there with you, pulling my hair out. I just wanted to say I can totally empathize with you and if you find some secret trick - by all means, hit me !!
Good luck. Why can't kids be born potty trained anyway??? lol

 

[Maggie'sMom]

Why can't kids be born potty trained anyway??? lol

And miss all this fun?

DD was really afraid on pooping in the potty. By 30 months, she had peeing down fine, but we were struggling with the other. Then one day we were over at one of her friend's houses and she saw that her friend had stickers all over her potty. The girl's mom explained that everytime the girl went in the potty she got a sticker. Well, that was all the motivation DD needed. She wanted stickers for her potty. I told her she could have a sticker every time she pooped in potty. We went to the store and picked out a bunch of Disney princess stickers. Voila! DD would sit on the potty for an hour trying to poop just to get the sticker. The trick for us was just finding the right motivation.

We did have a set back about 6 months later. She'd been almost perfect, accidents were extremely rare. But she got constipated and because it hurt, she decided to avoid going for as long as possible. Which, of course, just made things worse. And she was back to having accidents. I resorted to mixing Benefiber into her food and drinks, and I loaded her full of certain foods that would help move it along: raisins, corn, oranges, and popcorn. It took about a month, but she went back to using the potty and everything has been fine since.

 

[surfgirl]

we had similar issues.

1) we sat DS on the potty in a diaper and he pooped in his diaper while sitting on the potty.

2) graduated to me cutting a hole in the back of the diaper, he would sit down and poop and it would fall through the diaper into the potty. oh boy, did he get mad when he figured out I had tricked him!


(we were fully #1 trained, so would ask for a diaper to poop... this is how I got away with the hole in the back method)

 

[moredisneyplease]

We finally made it over that poop hurdle just a few weeks ago after about 9 months of pee pee on the potty but no poop. The way we did it was a little mean and sneaky but bribing didnt work. Anyways....

I knew he had a poop coming and I let him be in his room for a few mins while I peeked in around the corner. When I saw he was starting to poop I swooped in, picked him up, quickly brought him across the hall to the bathroom, pulled down the pull up, and plopped him on the toilet. It all happend so fast that he started objecting only as I was pulling the pull up down! The good thing was that half of the poop went in the toilet and the bad thing was that the other half went on the floor.

My husband and I cheered and cheered through his tears, brought him a "surprise" we had hidden for a long time and then took him to Chuckee Cheese. The next morning he said "mom, that wasnt scary" and from then on he's been pooping on the potty!!!

You'll find a way!!!

 

[myAAbatteries&aTD]

we had similar issues.

1) we sat DS on the potty in a diaper and he pooped in his diaper while sitting on the potty.

2) graduated to me cutting a hole in the back of the diaper, he would sit down and poop and it would fall through the diaper into the potty. oh boy, did he get mad when he figured out I had tricked him!


(we were fully #1 trained, so would ask for a diaper to poop... this is how I got away with the hole in the back method)

THis is just too funny!!! Love the idea, though and am open to trying it if it gets to that point!

 

[pepperderr]

When my 4yo was potty training he was afraid to poop in the potty too. The first time he finally did it he CRIED and I mean CRIED! He felt like he made a mess because he saw the poop and didn't like how it looked. Once he did it and realized that it was a good thing and he got lots of praise and it was OK to do and that it was cleaner to do that then poop in his pants he was fine.

When my now 8yo was potty training he did the same thing as your DS, he would sit forever and not poop and the minute he got up he would poop in his pants. One day I just got tired of it. I told him if he pooped his pants I was not going to change him. He pooped his pants right after getting off the potty. I made him stay in his pooped pants for a while and he didn't like it. That was the last time he ever pooped in his pants on purpose. He used the potty ever since. He figured it was just easier for me to change him right away after he pooped so why bother going in the potty. When he realized he would have to stay in the pooped pants if he did that, he didn't like that idea. I am sure there are some that would not agree with me but it is not like I let him sit in it for hours. Just enough for him to realize he wasn't going to like it.

 

[cancer_survivor_06]

My dd7 was like that when she turned three and it was she would hold it and hold it until she couldn't anymore and she would get it in her pants. She has gotten better about it we haven't had anymore incidents but her ped put her on miralax.

 

[of2dbeach]

My dd7 was like that when she turned three and it was she would hold it and hold it until she couldn't anymore and she would get it in her pants. She has gotten better about it we haven't had anymore incidents but her ped put her on miralax.

My suggestion is to let up on him . i know i KNOW what am i nuts ( with 5 kids prob so ) but when he is ready he will poop and suprise mommy and she will screama nd hollar. Pottys are scary things and the toilets in DW and most rest areas now flush Automaticly ( tramatic for my 5 yr old ) My only suggestions is to let HIM pick out the undies maybe some Mickey mouse ones or pooh bear or even buzz lightyear then tell Him mickey dosent like to be dirty and now he is a big boy he dosent need diapers anymore so he hasta keep mickey clean and poop in the potty. The other thing is when he does poop in his diaper do you flush it or just tosss the diaper out ? kids seem think poop is something special and cant understand to flush it is an O.K. thing to do too. Take the diaper to the potty dump it and let HIM flush it say bye yucky poo-poo and away it goes. I am sure you dont want to go to DW with a kid in diapers but dont make that a punishment if he isnt ready either. i had 2 kids in Diapers and once and one was my Autistic son and he was 5. Imagine the stares i got trying to hike him onto a changing table to clean him up.. it wasent pleasent but he finally figured it feels better to be clean then yucky....Its just getting him to do it one time.. try what i said and others too.. maybe shut the door a bit give him a book and say something like I bet you will Suprise me when you ready, if you need help call for me ok.. and
we will all be here listening to your screams of glory when he does it ..

 

[nessz79]

We've been here...

What we did was took a week off where we didn't even worry about it and then we started again by putting the underwear back on. Eventually what did it was putting him on the potty when we could tell he was in the act, like another poster mentioned. It took about another week of some mishaps and success and voila- it was over!

Just be aware that there may be regressions after he's fully potty trained again. My son who is 3.5 has been potty trained for about 9 months (fully). About 2 weeks ago, he started regressing and was going #2 in his underwear. He then started holding it in, etc. So we started making him sit on the potty for 5 minutes immediately after breakfast, immediately after he got home from preschool, etc. Worked within 2 days. Luckily, regressions are much easier to train than the first time.

 

[iheartdisney]

I'm another taht KNOWS its not going to happen until he wants it to happen! DS wasn't "poop trained" until after his 4th birthday. We were in underwear for awhile, with messes. And we tried everything. Stickers. Rewards. A promised trip to Chuck E Cheeses (what worked for his sister). Making him clean them out.
I was literally preparing to wipe his butt before high school graduation. So I read about the toliet fear issue. Maybe he couldn't push well way up there...so I went and bought a potty and told him this is just for him to poop in. Somehow, he wasn't having that, and wasn't going to use that baby potty! THAT DAY he pooped in the toilet!

 

[polineedyan]

It is a microcosm of your child and your parenting..The advice that I've been given, by a number of professionals, including a friend who has a master's from Brown in Psych..is to leave the kid alone. Our Dd 3, will not poop in the potty, and wants nothing to do with it. And its no different than the ds14 who refuses to bring home homework. No amount of talk will ever solve the issue. When theyre ready, they will. The important part is to NOT give them a complex, or esteem issue, over a seemingly minor issue. Eventually, the kids will get as tired of pooping their diaper, as we are of changing them..Ah...the promised land..

 

[JaimeinWonderland]

My DS did the same thing!! We waited it out and one day he just asked to go potty and left us a little something extra!! He has been going on the potty ever since! Good luck!