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[C.Ann]

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[ilovejack02]

I think because she did call you and let you know about the situation she must feel like you are a friend.. even though maybe not a close one. She has also been in touch with another neighbor so she must want to keep some contact with the outside world.

I say call, you wont keep her on the phone, just let her know you are thinking of her and her DH and if she needs anything to let you know.

 

[*Fantasia*]

I think because she did call you and let you know about the situation she must feel like you are a friend.. even though maybe not a close one. She has also been in touch with another neighbor so she must want to keep some contact with the outside world.

I say call, you wont keep her on the phone, just let her know you are thinking of her and her DH and if she needs anything to let you know.

I agree. Give her a call, she'll feel better knowing you care.

 

[minniecarousel]

Call - she probably has an answering machine & won't pick up if she can't talk.

 

[WDSearcher]

Call!

I can't tell you how many times I wanted to talk to people as I was waiting for my mom's end. I felt so incredibly alone just waiting .... any diversion would have been welcome.

You don't have to make it a chatty, "here's all my news" call. It's not like you're going to take up four hours of her time. But she will be grateful to know that you care, and she may just need a moment out of the room or a place to focus that isn't on the breathing machine or the heart machine.

Call.

 

[LuvsEpcot]

Call her...you're not taking anything away from her, only adding your kind voice when she could really use it. Just to let them know your thinking of them.

 

[Nancyg56]

Call her. It is so important for her to know how much their friends care.

ETA: I just lost my Aunt last week. She was in a nursing home but my sister, my cousin and I stayed with her around the clock. I would have loved to hear from my cousins once they knew how ill she was but no one called. The people who did call were my friends and former IL's. Their calls gave me the opportunity to just talk about her and helped me to prepare for what I knew was coming. I appreciated their calls and their concern so much. Your friend may be able to talk with you in a way that she is not allowing herself to with her immediate family.

 

[tazdev3225]

I agree with everyone else, call. Just let her know you are there and thinking of them.

 

[4nana]

I procrastinated recently on a situation as such and truly regretted it. By all means call and let her know you're there for her if she needs anything. It would only take a minute or two and she'd probably welcome a shoulder and friend at this very difficult time in their lives.

 

[cepmom]

I would call her...she would probably really appreciate knowing that you care and if she is the only one there (besides hospice) for her DH she will really need some support.

 

[Serena]

Call, you may be just what she needs.

 

[PatsMom]

Call! My brothers and I took turns sitting with my father the last week or so of his life. The hospice workers are only there for short periods of time so you are alone with a dying person a lot. And if your neighbor's husband is like my father, he spends a lot of time sleeping. If we were busy with my Dad, we would ignore the phone. Other than that we really appreciated the occasional call. And Dad also liked to talk to people almost up to the end. Of course he liked it best if they came to visit.

 

[tink_n_pooh]

Call

 

[disneybound2010]

DEFINITELY CALL! I cannot tell you enough how hard it was and how alone my family felt when she became terminal and was under the care of Hospice. She had so many friends and yet, in the last year of her life I think we only had about 3 people call or stop by, that weren't immediate family. Whether it was because they weren't sure how to approach the subject or they were scared to face what was inevitable, it hurt very badly to see her not have any calls or communication and it hurt us in that we felt like we didn't have anyone to lean on.

 

[Angelhalo]

Absolutely call! It is NEVER an imposition to know that someone cares!

 

[daisyyy]

If it's a bad time, she will tell you and call you back when the time is right. But, at least she will know that you were thinking of them, and were concerned, especially if thier only grown child is not involved, they will feel like the "extended" family cares.

 

[Darsa]

I totally agree that you should call; I imagine she would love to have someone to talk to. You're so sweet and thoughtful, not to mention so considerate! Thank you for that.

 

[RN4Babies]

I also agree that you should call. One of my sisters is a home hospice RN, and as a pp said, she's in the home for a very short period of time. The days can be very long ones, and I have no doubt that your friend would welcome hearing from you. Being the primary caregiver without much support from close friends or family can be so draining.

As an aside, I don't know if it's possible logistically or not, but if you can, consider making a meal and taking it to her. When I was receiving treatment for cancer during the last two years and feeling ill, many of my friends generously offered to let them know if I needed anything, but I felt funny calling anyone and saying, "I'm too sick tonight to clean my house or cook for my kids; could you give me a hand?" There were a couple of friends who would show up periodically with a casserole and salad for us, unasked. I can't tell you how much that helped me, both physically and psychologically, knowing I wasn't alone.

 

[liamsaunt]

Definitely call. You won't be imposing. If she is busy she won't answer.

 

[C.Ann]

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