think on it Thursday -- Pamela you have kept me on my toes this week with your questions, thank you! I think I am both....I am happy beyond words that my clothes are getting bigger on me, nervous to dig out the spring clothes but think I'm going to start that process tonight. I'm almost packed for my crop weekend, I'm making our Fish Extender gifts for our cruise this summer so I don't have to take ALL my stuff

so I'm concerned about eating this weekend at the crop. I know Friday night is taco salad and with it being one meal I can plan for that, even worse case counting b/c I know it will not be lean meat, etc. I hope there is beans so I can skip the meat. Anyhow, Saturday all I know is pulled BBQ pork from a local restaurant and the fixins; and baked potato bar Sunday will be brunch that will include donuts

and egg casserole loaded with cheese and sausage. ugh...it sounds both greasy and heavenly. I know the menu b/c I spent last Saturday cropping with the gal that organizes it. Also, for raffle tickets everyone brings in a snack to share. so, yea there will be a table full of sugar, carbs, and crap that will be draw me in everytime I walk by

I sorta want to indulge a little, I've done so well the past six weeks. better than I did last year in fact! I've gotten more exercise in, in fact today I walked 5.25 miles on the dreadmill

but even so, I'm scared to step on the scale tomorrow b/c I laxed a few times this week and I'm so afraid i'll slip into my self-sabotaging habits and gain back. I know this is mental. I'm rambling...but one more thing...for example, last night we had our twice a month church life group, always a snack. I had no wiggle room b/c I made my crop snack and ate a little of it. So of course for snack there is homemade apple cake with homemade carmel sauce, rolo candies (love rolo), and some other chocolate divine looking goodie. well....I said to my DH, I'm passing on the 'stale and moldy' snacks....and he backed me up with 'yea, this is horrible, don't have any'. well then I felt like, ok now I really can't! so I didn't....and what I noticed was 15 minutes later the moment had passed, everyone's plates were empty and instead of feeling guilty for eating more than I should've for the day, I felt proud that I didn't eat it. It was like 9 p.m and I didn't have the calories left for it, and I stuck to it! I didn't melt, I didn't get stink eyes from the hostess, and best of all I didn't get a stomach ache from eating too much sugar in one day (which yes, sadly truly happens, my GI is sensitive thanks to all it's been through)
I may not have the chance to jump on our thread this weekend....please send me all your extra pixie dust to ignore the crappy junk food that's not worth it! and what I eat, may I eat slowly and not mindlessly!