20041218-cruise-friends-memories Part 3

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Look, guys, this is serious....SOMEBODY is not keeping up their end of the "keep us all well" vigil...
I tripped and fell last night and the lump on my forehead is very noticeable and the one on my right knee almost interfered with getting dressed this morning...What's up?

I really do not want to be the one carried aboard the ship!
 
I hope this doesn't offend anyone.

Top Ten Times in history when using the "f" word was appropriate:
-----

1) "What the f**k was that?" - Mayor of Hiroshima

2) "Where did all these f**king Indians come from?" - Custer

3) "Any f**king idiot could understand that." - Einstein

4) "It does SO f**king look like her!" - Picasso

6) "How the f**k did you work that out?" - Pythagoras

5) "You want WHAT on the f**king ceiling?" - Michaelangelo

4) "I don't suppose it's gonna f**king rain." - Joan of Arc

3) "Scattered f**king showers... my ***!" - Noah

2) "I need this parade like I need a f**king hole in my head!" - J.F.K.

And the number one most appropriate reason to use the "f" word....

1) "Who the f**k is going to know?" - Bill Clinton
 
Heavy Thinker

It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then to loosen up. Inevitably though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker.

I began to think alone - "to relax," I told myself - but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time.

I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself.

I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?"

Things weren't going so great at home either. One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at her mother's.

I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the boss called me in. He said, "Skippy, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job." This gave me a lot to think about.

I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking..."

"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!"

"But Honey, surely it's not that serious."

"It is serious," she said, lower lip a quiver. "You think as much as college professors, and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking we won't have any money!"

"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and she began to cry. I'd had enough. "I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door.

I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche, with a PBS station on the radio. I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big glass doors... they didn't open. The library was closed.

To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night.

As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye. "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked. You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinker's Anonymous poster.

Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker. I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was "Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting.

I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just seemed... easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.
 
One more for now.....

Interpreting A Police Report

What the report SAID (1), What the report MEANT (2)

(1) While on routine patrol...
(2) I was in the car because the coffee shop was closed.

(1) The motorist was operating his vehicle in a reckless manner
(2) He had a bumper sticker that said "SLOW DOWN- DON'T FEED THE PIGS"

(1) The accident scene and the safety of the victims prevented this officer from doing traffic control
(2) It was raining.

(1) This officer went out-of-service to obtain intelligence information from a street informant.
(2) It was too hot to ride in the car.

(1) I observed the suspect acting in a suspicious manner...
(2) The dirt-bag let go with an "Oink" as I walked by.

(1) Knowing the suspect had a criminal history...
(2) He puked on my uniform one night...

(1) The informant is of known credibility and has provided reliable information in the past...
(2) I've got two theft cases hanging over his head...

(1) While being arrested, this subject resisted arrest, and was injured in the act...
(2) He ripped my shirt and broke my new mirrored sunglasses...

(1) The motorist was cited for multiple traffic violations...
(2) I wrote one citation for each swearword he used...

(1) Upon announcing my title and purpose, I heard a voice from inside the house say "Come in" so this writer entered through the door...
(2)The rock music was so loud they wouldn't have heard Patton's army so I kicked in the door.

(1) The members of the press at the scene were offered every courtesy within departmental policies...
(2) I sent then to a non-existent address which I called the "Command Post."

(1) I gave the motorist a verbal warning for speeding...
(2) She was a good-looking blonde who owned a liquor store and who was free after my shift was over.

(1) The Chief appeared at the scene and took command...
(2) I sent him to the same address as the reporters.

(1) Further interview of the witness was impossible, due to conditions.
(2) It was my bowling night...

(1) The motorist eyes were glassy, he had slurred speech, was unsteady on his feet, and smelled strongly of an alcoholic beverage.
(2) He was howling at the moon and trying to drive the car from the back seat.

(1) Using only enough force to restrain the subject...
(2) My favorite song is "Drop-kick me Jesus Through the Goal Post of Life"

(1) The defendant asked this officer's advice on how to act before the judge at his arraignment...
(2) I told him he didn't have the balls to call the judge the same name he called me.
 

I am off to have lunch with a friend. I will check back later to help bump up the posts.

Jenny, I liked the story of your grandmother. Thank you for sharing.
 
Originally posted by dobelover
Jenny, I liked the story of your grandmother. Thank you for sharing.

No problem. I like telling people about her. She wasn't your traditional grandmother. She died just 1 month shy of her 73rd birthday. She worked full time up until early December (she would have gone back if she could). She loved to play bingo, go to casinos and play the slots, loved Elvis (he's not dead you know) and LOVED to shop. She had 2 tattoos and a nose ring (she also wanted to get her belly button pierced, but didn't that anyone wanted to see that). The Chip N Dales were in town (I was 16 at the time) and she wanted to get me a fake ID so I could go with her. She could swear like a sailor. She went to a Grateful Dead concert in 1994. I could go on, but I think you get the point. She was a little odd to some people, but that's what I loved about her. ::yes::
 
How about a holiday joke?

A man and his wife are sitting at the kitchen table, which is next to the window. The man's name is Rudolph, and since he is Russian, people call him "Rudolph the Red." Rudolph looked out the window and said to his wife, "Oh look honey, it's raining outside." She looks out as well and says, "No, I think that is snow." He looks at her and says, "Rudolph the red knows rain dear."

:rotfl:
 
Is there a doctor in the house? Here's one for you.

A pregnant woman gets into a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.

The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them."

The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother -- he's an idiot!" Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?"

"Denise," the doctor says.

The new mother thinks, "Wow, that's not a bad name! Guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise!" Then she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?"

The doctor replies, DeNephew.
 
Ok one more and then it's time for lunch. This is for the ladies

His pediatrician asked six-year-old Johnny, who watched a good many TV ads, just to make conversation. "Johnny, if you found a couple of dollars and had to spend them, what would you buy?”

“A box of Tampax,” he replied without hesitation.

“Tampax?” said the doctor. “What would you do with that?”

“Well,” said Johnny, “I do not know exactly, but it’s sure worth two dollars. With tampax, it says on TV, you can go swimming, go horseback riding, and also go skating, any time you want to.”

:earseek:
 
Thanks for the Birhday wishes everyone! This is the last of the good birhdays. Next year I'm officially old. I'll be celebrating my 50th with Disneyland!

Paul
 
Still haven't caught up with the umpteen pages I missed when I was gone. Maybe I'll accept the fact I'll never catch up and start again right here! :)

We picked up the beast today. She was very happy to see us! She stunk like a kennel and was in the tub within 10 minutes of getting home. Not having had a good brushing in 10 days, she shed profusely in the tub and now there is hair EVERYWHERE! So outside she went to lose all of her undercoat again with a vigorous brushing.

So far she hasn't crashed and slept like the kennel ppl promised me she would. She'll only nap if I'm laying with her!!!! :rolleyes:
 
Yes, 3 cruises in the horizon. I know I need to join the Member Cruise thread, but I think I am going to have to sporatically be on that one until after the holiday cruise if over!!!!

Linda

:sunny:

Good news is the DH hasn't complained yet!!
 
Okay, five million things to do today:

1. Post on boards
2. Pack suitcase
3. Post on boards
4. Do payroll
5. Post on boards
6. Do A/P
7. Post on boards
8. Finalize 2005 budget so mail clerk can mail tomorrow to board members
9. Post on boards
10. Mail out my customers Ebay purchases from last week
11. Post on boards

The list goes on and on...............tomorrow fly to Atlanta for business trip...............oh..................but go to Orlando first for 1 1/2 day shopping and Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party tomorrow night!!!

Linda
 
Here's some interesting things and comments about my trip to WDW:

Plane landed Friday the 15th and FL town cars was there waiting for us. No lost luggage. Only one bag inspected--interestingly enough it was the bag with the kids costumes for MNSSHP. The bag with the flu shot vaccine and syringes did NOT get inspected!!! (for Mike's mom who works in a day care and FL flu shot clinics were all being cancelled) FL town car guy tells us hurricane horror stories. His property suffered about $12,000 in damages.

Bopped over to MGM, got our annual passes processed. This was the beginning of the interrogation at every park entrance. See, dd is 10 and only about 49 inches tall and 45 pounds. BUT, even though she is petite, she's 10. Disney considers her an adult. So she now has an adult annual pass. She is required to use the finger barometric reader. Her fingers are tiny and it's hard for her to reach, but she tries. Every time, a CM says "come through, sweetie, only adults need to do that!" To which we have to reply "she's 10, Disney considers her an adult." :rolleyes:

The non-scaredy cats in the family ride the big rides and then over to Sci-Fi diner for dinner. Dh and I split the salmon, it's pretty good. Notice that the shop by Sci-Fi has gotten rid of their Mickey sugar cookies and gingerbread Mickey's. I try the replacements and they aren't nearly as good. A bit of shopping for sweatshirts (aren't we in FLORIDA?) and then to Fantasmic. So glad to be back at WDW again, even if it's cold!
 
Day two...to the MK first thing. They have a new opening. Instead of the countdown to park opening and then opening of the turnstiles, they actually let you through the turnstiles and then herd you into that area in front of the train station (before you go under the tracks) Now you're roped off there and hostage until actual park opening. There is a little show/music/character thing on the train station platform and then the pushing and shoving starts. Only to find out that there are more ropes up at Tomorrowland. :rolleyes: Crowd control. We do some rides and then go to Cindy's for breakfast. Our server must be the slowest there, but the food is good. For the first time we actually get to sit by the windows.

After breakfast we get in touch with Sharon and Lisa (the scuba family) and meet up in Fantasyland. Then it's off to whatever the kids want to do --Splash, Big Thunder, Tom Sawyer's island, Space. I'm happy KT got to meet up with Lisa. She'll now be cruising with friends she'll already know. Mr. Scuba and Matt catch up with us at Space and we spend a little more time at the MK. Guess we were having fun, because the original plan was to go back to the room early afternoon, meet up with Mike's mom and then go back for Spectro and Wishes. But by the time we can separate from the Scuba's, it's close to 4! We go back to meet up with Mike's mom and her dh who have come down and then it's just too late for going back to the MK. Honestly, I have NO Idea what we did after this. Why don't I ever take notes during the trip??
 
Day 3, early entry at the MK. Same problem at the turnstiles "honey, only adults do the finger thing." Same herding procedures. Noticing that EE is VERY busy. Tourism is definitely picking up. Crowds of people are there....and it's only EE. The gates aren't even open to the public!!!

So we go around Fantasyland, so some of the big rides. Eat lunch at Columbia Harbor House. The counter service there was terrible. It's the first time it's been like that for us. Once you paid you just stood. No movement in line for a long time. And then everyone's orders were coming out wrong. Then there was the long process of figuring out what was missing. Once I got to the counter I didn't leave until I verified that my order was 100% correct. Actually it wasn't. They gave me extra fries. :rolleyes: Fish was great tasting, but noticably smaller than in the past. :rolleyes:

Back to the room for a quick nap before MNSSHP. We figure we have one hour to sleep. We all crash. I wake up early b/c Pal Mickey is malfunctioning. He's sitting on the table repeating himself "Say, Pal, what's the.....Say, Pal, what's the....Say, Pal, what's the...." ACK!!! So I turn him off. Doesn't help. He's stuck. Extremely tired and with only 15 more possible sleep minutes, I decide that if I can't stop him from saying "Say, Pal, what's the..." then I need to put him somewhere where I can't hear him......Hmmmm.....but where....Ah HA. The fridge. Pal Mickey takes up residence next to the flu shot vaccine and I close the door. 15 more minutes of heavenly sleep.

Trying to get Nick up from a nap is down right impossible. He is, none-the-less stuffed into his Disney Store Mickey costume. We meet up with Mike's mom and her dh and catch a boat to the MK, unfortunately taking the long cut via Fort Wilderness. Nick is now scaring us. He's still tired, and very hot in his costume (of course, we know he'll be the only warm one once the sun goes down) He's acting just like he acts right before he has a puking incident. :rolleyes: We've got him in the back (open) section of the boat, on the shade side, hoping for a breeze, 1/2 stripped out of his costume--yet still decent. Took awhile for him to come around, but once he fully woke up and cooled off, he was fine. No puke. Party as planned! Casey's for dinner and then party time.

Who knew trick or treating was so much fun??? We have more candy than we know what to do with. Actually, we'll end up handing out some on beggar's night here. We probably have 25 pounds of candy between the 4 of us. If I don't had it out, the Easter bunny will have to use some to stuff baskets!! We saw Capt. Jack Sparrow. No kidding. Some guy was dressed as a pirate and looked just like him. I saw him, and had to describe to Mike what he looked like (getting ideas for pirate night) Then later, by BTMRR we saw him again. We asked if we could get his picture with the kids (mainly a chance to study his outfit) He was inclined to acquiesce to our request --Snap! :)

Btw, Nick was Mickey....KT was Minnie. It was incredibly cute. And the CM's were so funny about it. During the security check on the way into the MK, the guards were asking Mickey for a raise. At treat stations they'd give him more candy as a "bribe" for a raise. They really treated him like Mickey!

The parade was incredibly cool. The headless horseman came barrelling through frontier land. A 2000 pound Percheron with a guy on it's back who has limited vision. No wonder CM's practically lined the ropes! Also, a very cute thing--the 101 dalmation car had REAL dalmations in the back!! They were barking and jumping around!! Made me miss Maggie for about 2.5 seconds. The feeling passed quickly.

Left the MK at midnight and back to VWL to drop into bed.
 
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