2 yr. old sleep issues - help needed!

[kjs1976]

I have an amazing 2 yr. old DD. She is fantastic in every way except for her sleep habits. A brief background...she didn't start sleeping through the night until 8 months...we've always had an established bedtime routine, but she was up 2-3 times a night and then on our anniversary, she went the whole night and didn't have any major issues until 13 months when we all got the Norovirus really bad. Then from 13-17 months she wouldn't sleep again. Out of nowhere at 17 months, again started sleeping through the night. We went on trips and she would sleep anywhere w/o an issue. Then she got sick this past x-mas (her 2 yr. b-day) and since then, she'll maybe sleep a night or two through the night, but nothing consistent.

Also since x-mas, she has not been tired at bed time and that has been slowly getting later. Used to go down at 8:15, 8:30 and now I have to put her in her crib firmly by 9 because I'm so tired, but she's not! This week she has been talking/singing in her crib until 9:30-9:40! DH works on a rotating schedule so the earliest he has to wake her up is 7:15 and 90% of the time she is up by then hearing him get ready. Otherwise, she can sleep until whenever and wake up on her own, which is usually between 7-8. When she wakes up in the night, she wants to have a drink from her sippy cup and then goes back to sleep. Or it's that she asks for her blanket or Thumper doll, which is somewhere else in the crib.

I start the bedtime process at 8, earlier if she takes a bath. We read books and tell stories with a dimmed light. She still has milk before bed in a bottle, which we have begun to slowly wean as she's shown some interest. We've tried everything...making bedtime earlier and later, feeding her a more hardy snack before bed. We even put her in a bed for a while thinking she was just ready for a bed. That was worse because although she loved her bed, she woke up about every 2-3 hours and got out of bed and knocked on the door thinking it was time to get up and then she was waking up for good at 6:30. After 3 weeks of that, we put the crib back up. She takes a 2-3 hr. nap in the afternoon and a bomb could go off and she wouldn't wake up during the nap!

She's hit every other milestone early. We're starting potty training now because she's shown interest, but only when she wants to, nothing aggressive.

Any thoughts or been-there-done-that-I-know-what-you're-going-throughs?!!! Thanks in advance!

 

[marshallandcartersmo]

I have an amazing 2 yr. old DD. She is fantastic in every way except for her sleep habits. A brief background...she didn't start sleeping through the night until 8 months...we've always had an established bedtime routine, but she was up 2-3 times a night and then on our anniversary, she went the whole night and didn't have any major issues until 13 months when we all got the Norovirus really bad. Then from 13-17 months she wouldn't sleep again. Out of nowhere at 17 months, again started sleeping through the night. We went on trips and she would sleep anywhere w/o an issue. Then she got sick this past x-mas (her 2 yr. b-day) and since then, she'll maybe sleep a night or two through the night, but nothing consistent.

Also since x-mas, she has not been tired at bed time and that has been slowly getting later. Used to go down at 8:15, 8:30 and now I have to put her in her crib firmly by 9 because I'm so tired, but she's not! This week she has been talking/singing in her crib until 9:30-9:40! DH works on a rotating schedule so the earliest he has to wake her up is 7:15 and 90% of the time she is up by then hearing him get ready. Otherwise, she can sleep until whenever and wake up on her own, which is usually between 7-8. When she wakes up in the night, she wants to have a drink from her sippy cup and then goes back to sleep. Or it's that she asks for her blanket or Thumper doll, which is somewhere else in the crib.

I start the bedtime process at 8, earlier if she takes a bath. We read books and tell stories with a dimmed light. She still has milk before bed in a bottle, which we have begun to slowly wean as she's shown some interest. We've tried everything...making bedtime earlier and later, feeding her a more hardy snack before bed. We even put her in a bed for a while thinking she was just ready for a bed. That was worse because although she loved her bed, she woke up about every 2-3 hours and got out of bed and knocked on the door thinking it was time to get up and then she was waking up for good at 6:30. After 3 weeks of that, we put the crib back up. She takes a 2-3 hr. nap in the afternoon and a bomb could go off and she wouldn't wake up during the nap!
She's hit every other milestone early. We're starting potty training now because she's shown interest, but only when she wants to, nothing aggressive.

Any thoughts or been-there-done-that-I-know-what-you're-going-throughs?!!! Thanks in advance!

What time is her nap?? I bet she isn't ready for bed yet because of her nap. I would push the nap earlier, which would make her wake up from her nap earlier--which would make bedtime earlier.

This might take a few days to get her adjusted.......If she's up at 7ish, I'd put her down right after lunch (no later than 1) and not let her sleep past 3.

good luck!

 

[We_love_WDW]

What time is her nap? I would put her down at 12:45 or 1 and bedtime at 7. My two yr old gave up his nap but sleeps from 6:45 to 7 am and if he wakes up in the middle of the night I do not go in - I learned that lesson the hard way. Good luck I know how frustrating this can be

 

[MichelleVW]

I'd give up the nap and lose the bottle. 2 year olds should not be drinking out of a bottle at all. I wouldn't be going in there every night to satisfy her every whim either. As long as she is safe in her bed there is no reason for you to get up and get her a blanket, or whatever ruse she is using to get you in there. Sounds like she has you exactly where she wants you.

 

[anniemae]

what time does she nap? Sounds like her nap is effecting her night time sleep. Maybe try skipping it and see how she does.

 

[barrett7890]

i'm another who suggeste cutting out the nap, my daughter was about the same age when we started cutting out her afternoon nap as we were having the same issues

since then no problems, but if she sleeps for even 30 minutes during the day she's up till 10pm!!!!!

cami
x

 

[kjs1976]

She only has a bottle with a little milk at night while we read books. Otherwise she drinks from a cup. Because she would never take a pacifier, I think the bottle still calms her when she gets ready for bed.

There are times when she doesn't get a nap because we're out at family/holiday events. Every now and then when the weather changes she won't nap. If we lay her down when she's not ready for a nap, she won't sleep and then won't go down later. About 7:30 she might get crabby but won't need to go to sleep any earlier. I haven't talked to one person who says to cut out naps now, which is hard. Everyone else's kids still sleep the same amount at nap time and sleep more at night. I know each kid is different, maybe mine isn't a sleeper.

I plan to get stricter in the middle of the night with wakings just as soon as school is out. I'm a teacher w/an especially difficult class this year that is draining. With some other health issues, if I have a tough week with little sleep, I get ill. So until school is out, I would rather get up once a night than have to try the "cry it out" approach" for my own sanity and to keep my marriage together! We did do this when we weaned her off of bottles and it takes about 3 nights for her to get it...but I just can't now w/o getting sick.

 

[bumbershoot]

Potty...could she have a need to pee in the middle of the night?


We do the sleep thing VERY differently than you do...family bed, DS was still nursing like a madman at 2, he didn't sleep through the night until, hmm, 3 years old...but it all worked out.

And I would think it's a potty thing, along with her nap maybe being too long at this point, and would try to put her on a little potty (the baby bjorn little potty next to the family bed worked WONDERS right about at that age or a bit older...getting up to go to the bathroom did NOT work, but having it right there was great), see if that's the issue.

Obviously since we had a family bed, we couldn't just close the door and ignore DS's requests and needs, we took care of them. It all worked out nicely. So if she's having needs, I don't see a problem in meeting them.

But the milk could be causing a potty problem, and since she's working on getting out of dipes, the feeling might be waking her up more than it used to.

 

[PatsGirl]

DS needed to stop taking naps at 2 because he couldn't get to sleep at night or would wake up excessively early (4-5 am) ready to go Once I stopped the nap he slept all night and until 6 or 7 am.

The biggest problem was keeping him awake through dinner. Once late afternoon rolled around he would start nodding off and become very cranky if I didn't let him fall asleep. I fixed that by giving him his bath around 4:30, dinner at 5 pm, and in bed by 6 or so. He was clean, belly full and sound asleep shortly after.

We kept this schedule for at least two years but everything pushed up about 60 minutes each year. At 3, bath was 5:30, dinner at 6:00 and bed at 7:00, at 4 years old I switched dinner and bath, so dinner at 6:00, bath at 6:30 and bed at 7:30, you get the idea.

I know that everyone's schedule doesn't afford them this luxury, but he was my first child and I was a single parent so I could make our schedule fit our needs. Don't ask me about the sleeping and meal problems I endured with DD 8 years later when she was born due to his very busy schedule of baseball, basketball, camp, etc.

 

[mjkacmom]

I've been blessed with good sleepers (although a couple needed to be Ferberized at 6 months), but every now and then they'd get into some bad habits - not being able to fall asleep, night waking, coming in bed with us (just dd7, and only a few times a year). What has worked every single time is benedryl (can make some kids hyper, but most kids sleepy). It only takes a couple of night of this to get back on track. Of course, it has now been recalled, so hard to find.

 

[kellyg403]

I agree with others re: the nap. All kids are different. All my boys still took naps until k-garten and still went to bed easily at 8 and slept through the night. My dd's..at 2 or so we had to eliminate naps or cut them real short in order to get a 'decent' bedtime and sleeping through the night.

From your post, my only suggestions would be to start shortening the nap and making sure you are consistently putting her to bed at the same time each night. Even if she lays in her bed and plays or talks or sings, eventually 8:30 will be bedtime and she will learn to 'wind' down herself and fall asleept.
I would also, not worry about the bottle. If its not in her bed and used as comfort, honestly while you are going through this transition period I wouldn't take that away until you have this situation where you want it.

Kelly

 

[Binnie]

Honestly, your daughter sounds to me like a prime candidate for a rigid schedule. There's a lot of fluidity in her current schedule, which at least with my DD ended up in a lot of frustration. Illnesses always throw off a schedule, but if she's not used to a schedule, she can't snap back to it once the illness is done.

I would wake her at the same time every day, regardless of the other circumstances. Like others, I would encourage an after-lunch nap. 12 was always a good time for DD, and she was never, ever allowed to sleep past 4 PM, so that we could start bedtime routine and be done by 7:30. You need to decide what time you want her to go to bed and then start the bedtime routine about an hour before that time, closing the door on her every day at the same time. You might try some music, if she likes it, for once you leave the room, recognizing that she won't fall asleep immediately.

I would also suggest that you cut out the bottle. At 2, she will be able to self-soothe without something in her mouth, and it's better to have her learn that than not. (And the milk at night isn't good for her teeth.)

 

[jodifla]

The nap is way, way too long for a 2-year-old. That's why she's not tired at night.

 

[BCDisneyFanatic]

Add me as another who says to cut the nap.

With both my DDs, I had to drop the nap around the age of 2 or they wouldn't sleep at night. It was especially striking with my youngest...when she had a nap, it was a 'solid' sleep for 2 hours. She would be out cold, and then really cranky when she woke up. Afterwards, I couldn't get her to sleep until 11:30 pm, and she'd be awake by 8am in the morning. It was really frustrating (and exhausting, since her sister was awake at 6am).

Someone told me at the time that this might be an indication that she was having a 'night-time' sleep during the day instead of a nap, because she'd outgrown her baby sleep patterns. This then messed her up when she slept at night. When we actively worked at avoiding naps, our routine drastically improved - she started sleeping 11-12 hours at night, and rarely woke up.

Like your DD, my kids rarely needed more than 12 hours total sleep (including naps), even when they were infants. However, you can't compare your kids' schedules to others...instead you have to work with their needs.

And just a heads-up...this pattern will likely continue. DD9 now only needs 8.5 to 9 hours of sleep - less than her sister (DD11), who needs 9 to 10 hours to function well. We institute a liberal sleep-time policy. While they have to be in bed by 9pm (for MY sanity, lol), they can read as long as they want before turning out their lights.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Lose the nap, she doesn't need one anymore.

Summer is a great time for the transition to no nap.

You can have "downtime" with reading, movies, etc., instead of a nap followed with an outdoor activity, downtime, then dinner, then the bedtime routine.

You have to transition them into no nap. It takes a bit but it will become second nature to her & you once she is used to it.

 

[cheerful chickadee]

I agree with PP's that the nap time needs adjustment. My DD is 2.5 and takes a 30 - 45min nap a few times a week, definitely not every day, just on the days that we've been on the go since the wee hours.

I do find that the days she has a nap it takes her almost an hour to fall asleep. The days without a nap she's asleep in 10minutes. My DD is not a sleeper, she is a night owl which is fine with me because so am I but it gets frustrating when you're exhausted and you have a toddler still raring to go at 9-10 pm

 

[mjkacmom]

The nap is way, way too long for a 2-year-old. That's why she's not tired at night.

Maybe for this 2 year old, but my 3 oldest napped at least 2 hours a day, up until the age of 4, and slept from 8 - 7 at night. My twins dropped the nap before 3, but only because there were 2 of them in the room, and it was party time!

 

[WeLoveLilo05]

i HAVE COME TO THE CONCLUSION (sorry for the caps didn't realize they were on hahahaha) that some kids don't need that much sleep. DD was NEVER a sleeper. I put her in the bed @ 9 and sometimes she isn't sleeping til after 10 . I have tried putting her in earlier, but she clearly just isn't ready for bed at that time. She doesn't drink sodas or juices and I guess moderately has sugar. She gets up a few times during the night, like broken up sleep, she'll sit up try and get comfy again, sometimes ask for water, etc. She is 5 lol.
But you would think (she starts school in Sept) that she would sleep in, but she is up @ 7 or 8!!!
Just wanted to say, I have been there...and I'm still there lol

 

[TiggerTails57]

Let her nap from 1pm to 3pm......a little earlier if she's tired but, DON'T let her sleep after 3pm wake her UP!! I know it's hard, you need your sleep too! Good Luck!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

i HAVE COME TO THE CONCLUSION (sorry for the caps didn't realize they were on hahahaha) that some kids don't need that much sleep. DD was NEVER a sleeper. I put her in the bed @ 9 and sometimes she isn't sleeping til after 10 . I have tried putting her in earlier, but she clearly just isn't ready for bed at that time. She doesn't drink sodas or juices and I guess moderately has sugar. She gets up a few times during the night, like broken up sleep, she'll sit up try and get comfy again, sometimes ask for water, etc. She is 5 lol.
But you would think (she starts school in Sept) that she would sleep in, but she is up @ 7 or 8!!!
Just wanted to say, I have been there...and I'm still there lol

My PITB is 19. Yep....pretty much nothing has changed. She stays up late and takes long naps.
She was well suited for college dorm life ....