2 family problems (Too long very sorry)

[siestakeys04]

Please move if you have too.

1st I told an aunt about a way her 16 yr old dd can do volunteer work for the summer. All she would have to pay is 45 dollars for field trips. I work 12months at a school and my kids 9 goes and my 13 yr old volunteers which makes my son free to attend. Only have to pay the above 45 dollars for both. This aunts car broke down and she wants me pick up and take home her dd when dad is at home and picks mom up, but she says that it would be to much for ddad to pick up his child.

One day she did not go because she was tired from a field trip the day before, aunt did not call the next day to pick up her dd, so I went to work.

Sometimes its hard to pick up her dd but the only reason I told her about the volunteering is because my dd has dance practice and the summer school coord. needs help. I said why is she tired she said it is called volunteering meaning she comes when she wants.

I never told aunt that I would pick her up daily just trying to get her dd out of the house because she doesn't do anything. Her idea of fun is to have all her little cousins ages 13-4 come over a spend the night. She is 16. Not sure what to do.

2nd another aunt wanted to have the 4th over my house. She planned it and stated that I did not have to put in any money since they are wanting it over my house. When the time came she asked how much was I putting in I said you told me I did not have to because it was my house and I spent 70 dollars on fireworks, its my house and I spent another 50 dollars on things me and my dd wanted to do.

People came with money and she took it all. We agreed that we would split the money. She said that she spent an extra 200 dollars of her own money. The problem when I throw a party at my house I absorb(sp) the cost it was my idea and my party. It was her idea to have a very big family cook out and invite everyone even their friends. I had chocolate on my floor a million flies This is an aunt who I call 4 times a week and if I get busy at work or home she calls and says what is wrong with you, you have not called what is your problem. Why does it have to be me with the problem, and even times when I do call she says oh let me call you back I am busy, but I can't be busy? My kids are 13 starting high school dance team, practice everyday, ds is 9 football practice has started with him. She has two kids 26 and 24 living with her and if I call to speak to one of them and they are sleep she says they are sleep and I will not wake them up. WHAT!!!

I have tried to help both of them get a job with the school system the 24 yr old in the cafeteria. I know it may not be the best but it is 10 months they do pay well for level 1 managers and you are off in the summer. She said no I am not interested. The aunt think that is ok. (She lives at home and pays no bills).

I just needed a place to vent I am very sad about all this.

 

[Erica09M]

((HUGS))

I didn't want to read and not respond

Just wait, 2 more weeks and you'll be on vacation, relax and enjoy!

 

[mickeyluvr004]

Maybe the next time they want to have a party at your house can't you decline and say sorry we have other plans?? If you know how she is maybe you need to stand up to her and put your foot down, its your house and you have the say not her and I would tell her after the last fiasco your on your own, we no longer have big parties at our house. It's gotta be hard to have family like that.. You have alot on your plate and your family needs to come first, as for her DD I would say you are just too busy in the AM to be driving everyone around, sounds like you are just being helpful but I would just tend to your children and if the girl doesn't volunteer it's not your problem you tried Good luck sounds like you need it

 

[hanutedmansionmomma]

family stuff sucks!

try, if you can, to focus on you and yours. It's just about impossible to change people. I tend to be a solution person too. It will drive you batty.



We now go to wdw at xmas - doing something just us with no stress.

vent anytime and have a great trip!

 

[crisi]

The first word you need to learn is "no."

The second is two phrases "I beg your pardon" (said with an "I can't believe you just asked that" tone) and "excuse me" (said in a "I MUST have misunderstood you, because no one could be so rude as to ask that" tone).

Apologize to whomever at school for recommending your cousin and explain your aunts car broke down leaving her transportationless and she won't be able to volunteer. Then simply tell your aunt that you will no longer be able to provide transportation. Your cousin is not your problem.

To your other aunt you just need to say no when she invites the family over. If she asks why, say you are planning to do something else. Don't give excuses about budget - which will turn out much like the last time - or anything else.

Good luck.