1st trip as a family ... MIL and FIL want to go

[Howgreat]

I think it honestly just depends on your ILs, their personality, and how you get along with them. I've never been to WDW with my ILs, but my DH has twice. We went all together once last Christmas (2012) and then this past September. The September trip was the best for several reasons: Crowds were much lower than at Christmas, so a lot less stress for everyone; My parents flew and we drove, so no 12 hours smooshed together in the car; They stayed for 3 days and we stayed for 3 more, so we felt like we got to vacation with them and with just the 4 of us; I made sure we ate before anyone got too hungry, because on our first trip together, hunting for a restaurant AFTER everyone was hungry made us grouchy.

If you decide you want them to go, just make sure they know your expectations for the trip. I get everyone's input on ADRs and must-do rides and then I make the schedule and let everyone know what it will be.

 

[wallskm]

We went with DH's parents, sister, and her son in April and I was pleasantly surprised at how it went. We made our own plans as far as what parks on what days and what restaurants we wanted to eat at. We gave them the itinerary a month or so before it was time to make ADRs, and asked them to mark which things they wanted to join us for. We then made our ADRs for the correct amount for each meal. They also made an ADR or 2 of their own. We pretty much did our vacation the way we wanted to, and let them know that it was OK for them to either join us or go do something they were interested in. We even told them that if they didn't want to stay at the resort we chose they were more than welcome to choose a different one. I spun it as "It's your vacation too so don't let us keep you from doing what you want to do".

While we were there it went pretty smoothly. We would let them know what time we were planning to catch the bus/eat breakfast etc and they were either there when we left or we went without them (they were always there but it was in the plan that we weren't waiting). For the most part they were just along for the ride and happy to do what we wanted. DH's sister did go off and do things her son was interested in too. It ended up being very nice to have a couple extra sets of hands especially since we had a 16 month old with us!

 

[SnoWhiteRabbit]

If you decide you want them to go, just make sure they know your expectations for the trip. I get everyone's input on ADRs and must-do rides and then I make the schedule and let everyone know what it will be.

This is how I've done it, and everyone was thrilled and thanked me for taking care of everything (even bought me souvenirs for making arrangements for everyone So that worked out well. I planned what I wanted (with input) and everyone seemed so happy that I did the "work."

I gave everyone my itinerary, and left it as, my family leaving for the parks at 8:00. You can leave then, too, or meet us in the parks...And, we should all meet at this restaurant at this time, but if you want to do something different from 9 - 1, feel free....They always chose to stay together, but at least the option was out there.

 

[LionKingDramaQueen]

1

 

[lnuss1988]

Giving the option for them to either tag along or do what they want is a great idea!! I know I am for sure going to have an itinerary for my DH, DD and myself. I also know, I want two days of just us 3. I don't mind if they come along to the parks, because I know they will want too. That is fine with me, but I do want two days for just the 3 of us, my DH agrees with me on this.

You guys have given me a good deal to help me make my decision. I don't think it will be a bad trip if I do decide to invite them. You just always have that fear that something will go wrong.

When we were planning our trip that got postponed they were game for anything I planned, which was comforting to know, as that can be a sign as to how it will go when we actually get there.

 

[dougsmom98]

We have gone to Disney many times with my in-laws. We have always just told them that we are making plans that work for us and the kids and they are welcome to join us, or go off on their own. They almost always join us. Even though at times it was a pain to have them tag along and they sometimes slowed us down, I am glad that I let them join us. The kids have awesome memories of their grandparents on those trips and they are sad that their grandparents are not able to come with us anymore because of health issues. One of the benefits is that my kids also tell me that they are going to take me with their families when they get older. I know that when I have grandchildren, it would be wonderful if my children and their spouses allow me the privilege of seeing my grandchildren experience Disney.

 

[WendyLou]

We have gone to Disney many times with my in-laws. We have always just told them that we are making plans that work for us and the kids and they are welcome to join us, or go off on their own. They almost always join us. Even though at times it was a pain to have them tag along and they sometimes slowed us down, I am glad that I let them join us. The kids have awesome memories of their grandparents on those trips and they are sad that their grandparents are not able to come with us anymore because of health issues. One of the benefits is that my kids also tell me that they are going to take me with their families when they get older. I know that when I have grandchildren, it would be wonderful if my children and their spouses allow me the privilege of seeing my grandchildren experience Disney.

EXACTLY!! My inlaws and my parents have been on both of our trips with children and plan to go with us in May of this year ( well 2014, close enough ) and I will admit sometimes they ALL drive me nuts but I am so thankful to have them be such a big part of my children's lives and the memories are priceless and it makes the Grandparents so happy I do however agree about ground rules and that is completely understandable. Set the tone now so that when your children are grown they will remember your graciousness to their grandparents. Have a great trip!

 

[lorenni]

While it may be difficult for you and I do understand consider these two points before making a final decision: 1. Your DH wants them there 2. You don't know how long they will be with you. Cherish the bond they have with your dd. We've lost my dh's mother and only brother and we would give anything to have my mil back (no offense to my bil lol). My dd won't know her grandma and it hurts. My parents moved to Florida when I was pregnant and they only see our dd 5-6 days a year as they suddenly seem to have forgotten how to fly north lol. Basically, when do you think your next trip after This one will be? Will they be around or healthy enough to come to that one? If your dd is older by then and riding the thrill rides, will they be able to? Make sure you consider it all. Good luck

I agree with this. And would add that it's not just about you - but as you've pointed out, it's you, your husband and your daughter. If 2 out of the 3 of you would want the inlaws along, then you may just need to go with it. Just have time together during the trip as well as planned time apart from them.