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[hipchickie]

There are good parents who spank and good parents who don't spank, bad parents who spank and bad parents who don't. There is a heck of a lot more to discipline and teaching responsibility and appropriate behavior, than whether the child is spanked or not.

As far as playing with matches, I wasn't spanked as a child, and I never played with matches. My kids have never been spanked, and they have never played with matches (and they know where we keep them), nor have they played with the knives in the big block on the kitchen counter. Now, this certainly doesn't mean only non-spanker's kids don't play with matches. The spanking worked for you, C.Ann, and that's fine, but if they had chosen not to spank, I'm sure your parents would have found another way to prevent you from playing with matches again.

this is a really good point and post, although I somewhat disagree with your first sentence...as far as I am concerned, (and you will never ever convince me any different so really, don't bother ) if you spank you are not the best parent you can be. It does not necessarily make you a "bad" parent, but it is a bad choice.
Just like my kid may make mistakes, make bad choices, and have bad behavior, he is not a "bad" kid - but he does need to be taught a better way

 

[Freyja]

There isn't a 100% fail-proof disciplinary action out there- and spanking certainly isn't one!

With most dangerous situations, you have to be proactive in teaching the child what is and isn't allowed, and why it is dangerous. If you have never told them why they can't run out in the street, it doesn't make sense to punish them for doing it.

With three kids, I've learned there is no blanket punishment for anything- it depends on the child and the situation. After one kid, I did think I had all the answers, then along came number 2. However, I've always known it was never, ever appropriate to hit one of my children. There is ALWAYS an alternative.

I agree with every single word.

 

[hipchickie]

---------------------
Too funny..

yeah, obviously you are not overly into this, what with a time stamp 2 minutes after I posted that

 

[cats7494]

Nothing is 100% - nothing is fool-proof...each child is different.

I use a stern "NO" and she responds then I remove her from the situation and put her in Time Out after telling her why she is in Time Out. She is in TO for 1 minute for each year of her age. When time is up, she says she is sorry and gives me a hug. We are VERY consistent with this and it works for us very well.
We use this method with dd2 and dd14 when she was younger. DD14 is a marvelous teen now.

I do not think spanking is an ok option for children at all; it only teaches them violence. We need to teach our children to respect others and that starts by us showing them respect!

 

[I_Know_You2!]

The funny thing is that experience, which some of us have more than others, will show, in the end that the oneupmanship, and the need to look down on others backfires in the end.

Besides that, when you all get a bit older you will discover that the kid next door who eats ice cream for breakfast and bit your kid in preschool, who drank formula and was circumcised, went to public school, and had a computer in his room turns out to be pretty much like your kid. My daughter is getting ready to marry the boy next door. Luckily his mom and I stayed away from the whole "i'm right, you are full of ****" game.

 

[ThreeMusketeers]

Who cares why she didn't do it again, the point of the spanking was so she wouldn't do it again.

I won't even justify such an IGNORANT statement.
Obviously, your purpose in discipline is to show children to FEAR authority instead of TEACHING them a lesson that they can carry through life.

That sickens me.

 

[Corryn]

I am so amused by the few DIS'ers who are coming down with spankyitis and becoming sickened by the majority of DIS'ers who use spankings as a disciplinary tool. If you look at the poll, it's 2 to 1 in favor of spanking. I don't hear any Spanking DIS'ers using inflammatory language against those who do not spank. In fact, I think the Non-Spanking DIS'ers are pretty violent with their words! It's the Non-Spanking DIS'ers who are "looking down" at those of us who do choose to spank, not the other way around.

A question was posed, we've answered it and the only people who are getting upset and disgusted are the ones who supposedly are non-violent. How ironic

 

[C.Ann]

A question was posed, we've answered it and the only people who are getting upset and disgusted are the ones who supposedly are non-violent. How ironic

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And those who choose to practice "selective" reading..

 

[Corryn]

--------------------

And those who choose to practice "selective" reading..

Sorry, I'm too busy smacking my children around to be reading each and every thread. My mistake, I'm sorry

 

[hipchickie]

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And those who choose to practice "selective" reading..

seriously, you are killing me here.
The best part is that you started with the rude posts, and everytime you made a snide remark, I said it back to you in my next post to see how you would react when it was aimed at you instead of you dishing it.


Corryn, I have to take out my aggression here, since I would never hit a child

 

[Tinkerbelle's Mom]

Corryn, I have to take out my aggression here, since I would never hit a child

Okay that was a funny comment and would make a great tag!!!

 

[glasslipper]

I am so amused by the few DIS'ers who are coming down with spankyitis and becoming sickened by the majority of DIS'ers who use spankings as a disciplinary tool. If you look at the poll, it's 2 to 1 in favor of spanking. I don't hear any Spanking DIS'ers using inflammatory language against those who do not spank. In fact, I think the Non-Spanking DIS'ers are pretty violent with their words! It's the Non-Spanking DIS'ers who are "looking down" at those of us who do choose to spank, not the other way around.

A question was posed, we've answered it and the only people who are getting upset and disgusted are the ones who supposedly are non-violent. How ironic

Anger doesn't always equate to violence. It's how the anger is handled. I've seen plenty of anger, I really didn't see any violence on this thread, just some strong opinions, language and attitude on both sides, and quite a bit of twisting other's words around to make their own points.

 

[glasslipper]

seriously, you are killing me here.
The best part is that you started with the rude posts

Exactly.

 

[megthewonderful]

LOL! I have my children reduced to a look, and when they get it they know they are up a creek. Shoot the mere threat of getting me upset alerts the kids to the ten million hour lecture.. once I get started I do not shut up! They would probably prefer a spanking to my rants.

I give my kids the look too! They know a long lecture is coming and often the look is enough to stop them from doing whatever they shouldn't be doing.

If I am really angry, I just send my kids to their room until we have all cooled off.

 

[luvmy3]

I won't even justify such an IGNORANT statement.
Obviously, your purpose in discipline is to show children to FEAR authority instead of TEACHING them a lesson that they can carry through life.

That sickens me.

Maybe if you bothered to pay attention to any of MY other posts, you would know that I do not spank my children. Yes, I did in the past many years ago but found that sort of discipline did not work. Maybe you shouldn't assume how I discipline my children because of this quote because you would be wrong.

The post in which you quoted was a response to another post. C.Ann's father spanked her for playing with matches. It didn't matter why he did it, his intent was to punish her and prevent her from doing it again. She didn't so his form of discipline worked. You may be sickened by it, but some parents do use fear and intimidation to prevent their children from doing something that is dangerous.

 

[I_Know_You2!]

Maybe if you bothered to pay attention to any of MY other posts, you would know that I do not spank my children. Yes, I did in the past many years ago but found that sort of discipline did not work. Maybe you shouldn't assume how I discipline my children because of this quote because you would be wrong.

The post in which you quoted was a response to another post. C.Ann's father spanked her for playing with matches. It didn't matter why he did it, his intent was to punish her and prevent her from doing it again. She didn't so his form of discipline worked. You may be sickened by it, but some parents do use fear and intimidation to prevent their children from doing something that is dangerous.

People don't want to use common sense, they want to jump to the conclusion that they are right, regardless. I think that you stated your point well.

 

[luvmy3]

People don't want to use common sense, they want to jump to the conclusion that they are right, regardless. I think that you stated your point well.

Thank you

 

[tzolkin]

People don't want to use common sense, they want to jump to the conclusion that they are right, regardless. I think that you stated your point well.

I don't really understand where she wasn't using common sense. She just said that if the purpose of a spanking was to make the child fear the parent, than she was disturbed by that.

Luvmy3 also acknowledged that some parents find this acceptable and that it's okay for ThreeMuskateers to disagree with it. She said " You may be sickened by it, but some parents do use fear and intimidation to prevent their children from doing something that is dangerous."

Certainly, ThreeMuskateers shouldn't have assumed that Luvmy3 wants to teach her children to fear authority simply because she acknowledged that other people do. However, the "Who cares why-- it worked" comment might lead any person with "common sense" to assume that she thinks it's acceptable to "show children to FEAR authority instead of TEACHING them a lesson that they can carry through life."

 

[I_Know_You2!]

Umm, yeah...whatever...I bet you have a snowflake at home, don't you?

 

[luvmy3]

Certainly, ThreeMuskateers shouldn't have assumed that Luvmy3 wants to teach her children to fear authority simply because she acknowledged that other people do. However, the "Who cares why-- it worked" comment might lead any person with "common sense" to assume that she thinks it's acceptable to "show children to FEAR authority instead of TEACHING them a lesson that they can carry through life."

When I said "who cares", I really meant that. Its really not anyone elses business why C.Anne's father disciplined her the way he did. It is not our job to pass judgement on other parents reasons for discipline, its our job to do what we feel right in our own family and mind our business. I guess I thought that was just common sense