..

[U2_rocks!]

------------------

I'm not so sure of that.. When my dad swatted me on my butt for playing with matches (a dangerous situation that could have resulted in our house burning down), I never played with matches again.. He never spanked me for routine, run-of-the-mill stuff - just extremely serious infractions - which I never repeated again.. So I would have to say that in those instances, it was 100% fail-proof.. LOL

I would have been like you, Ann - I would not have done it again. My brother, OTOH, would not have learned from that. Some kids have stronger wills, and spanking will never be a 100% fail-safe method for dealing with a strong-willed child. In fact, some kids get angrier and act out more when severely punished. You cannot treat all kids the same way, and therefore there is no one discipline method that will always work on all kids everywhere.

 

[glasslipper]

Umm, yeah...whatever...I bet you have a snowflake at home, don't you?

Would you please clarify? All the slangs I know of for snowflake are quite derogatory.

 

[NYPDwife]

I think I'm scarred

When I did something I wasn't supposed to, my mom would hold my hand to the flame on the stove. Never in the flame, but close enough to feel the heat. I wouldn't do whatever got me into trouble again.

I was actually talking to my mom about the things she did to discipline my sister and I and she told me "Get over it, or get therapy" so I started to crack up and FYI- I'm over it.

 

[ThreeMusketeers]

I am so amused by the few DIS'ers who are coming down with spankyitis and becoming sickened by the majority of DIS'ers who use spankings as a disciplinary tool. If you look at the poll, it's 2 to 1 in favor of spanking. I don't hear any Spanking DIS'ers using inflammatory language against those who do not spank. In fact, I think the Non-Spanking DIS'ers are pretty violent with their words! It's the Non-Spanking DIS'ers who are "looking down" at those of us who do choose to spank, not the other way around.

A question was posed, we've answered it and the only people who are getting upset and disgusted are the ones who supposedly are non-violent. How ironic

I think it's funny, that you look SO LIGHTLY at such a serious issue. That will in turn shape who your children become.


(If i put a smiliey on the end of my post, does that make it any better for you?? )

 

[ThreeMusketeers]

Maybe if you bothered to pay attention to any of MY other posts, you would know that I do not spank my children. Yes, I did in the past many years ago but found that sort of discipline did not work. Maybe you shouldn't assume how I discipline my children because of this quote because you would be wrong.

The post in which you quoted was a response to another post. C.Ann's father spanked her for playing with matches. It didn't matter why he did it, his intent was to punish her and prevent her from doing it again. She didn't so his form of discipline worked. You may be sickened by it, but some parents do use fear and intimidation to prevent their children from doing something that is dangerous.

Are you going to spank me?? CALM DOWN!
***
Okay, that was uncalled for...but I thought all you "spankers" were level headed????!!!!

Hmm..All I am saying, is that IT IS NOT JUST ABOUT GETTING THE CHILD TO STOP WHAT THEY ARE DOING. IMO, its about teaching a lesson. If you or the many other follower's choose to spank your children. I guess the rest of us can just hope you are doing in Responsiably (???) (if there even is such a thing)

Don't bother replying..I'm done with this post.

 

[luvmy3]

Are you going to spank me?? CALM DOWN!
***
Okay, that was uncalled for...but I thought all you "spankers" were level headed????!!!!

Hmm..All I am saying, is that IT IS NOT JUST ABOUT GETTING THE CHILD TO STOP WHAT THEY ARE DOING. IMO, its about teaching a lesson. If you or the many other follower's choose to spank your children. I guess the rest of us can just hope you are doing in Responsiably (???) (if there even is such a thing)

Don't bother replying..I'm done with this post.

I know you said you are done with this post, but I can't help but to point out just one more thing. Its funny, you called my statement ignorant, but you keep ignoring the fact that I don't spank my children

Anywho, I agree that discipline should teach lesson, on top of serving as punishment. Just because someone's lesson is different from the one you would teach to your children, does not make it wrong.
You may not think that spanking teaches a lesson but I have to disagree. You see I was spanked as a child, and admittedly I did spank 2 of my 3 children a handful of times. I do not any longer because of the lesson that I had learnd. Spanking did not work for me, my father spanked me because he was angry, not because he was trying to discipline me. I decided that I did not want that to become the reason that I was spanking. So you see, there can be a lesson learned even when a parent uses fear and intimidation.
Just because I don't believe spanking works for my kids, doesn't mean I am against it. I think if a family decides that punishment works for them, then who the heck am I to say its not right. I don't care why they spank their child, its their choice

 

[kidshop]

What are your 100% fail-proof disciplinary actions that you use?

Particularly in situations where there is danger involved..

I have not read all the posts, so I will answer just based on these questions. Well, I have never hit any of my kids (9, almost 6 and almost 2). I am vigilant with their safety and supervision, so I honestly have never had a situation where danger is involved that is so frightening that I had to hit someone! For example, running away from me in a parking lot....it was never an option. Until I could be absolutely certain they wouldn't run, they were held, rode in a cart or stroller or held hands. Small freedoms were granted slowly and taken away immediately if behavior was poor. My kids would never play with matches! They are out of reach, and I have told them when they see me use one that they are dangerous and not for kids and to never touch them. I explain why, and then scare them a little with talk about how they could get hurt or set the house on fire. For the little one, I just say..."hot! No touch!" to get the message across. My 100% fail disciplinary tools are to always mean what I say...good and bad. I have always followed through if i say something, so the kids know I mean business. I physically remove them from situations, take away their favorite things and try to use logical consequences. My dd throws her food from her high chair. The second it happens, the meal is over and she must clean up the floor. I had her down there scrubbing with a washcloth yesterday! I'm guessing she will learn throwing food means work for her. Maybe hitting her would be faster in getting her to stop, but it doesn't really make a lot of sense to me.

My kids are not perfect, but managing them has not been difficult and I have not felt a need to hit them for discipline. I just can't think of a situation where it would work better than removal from the scene, an explanation of what is wrong, and then a consequence like loss of playtime or a favored object. I'm pretty calm and easy going though, I have found I have a patience to deal with really annoying behavior!

 

[kidshop]

----------------------
Obviously you didn't read my response.. The matches were acquired from my best friend..

And shudder the thought - this was back in the 50's when helicopter parenting wasn't the trend and children were actually allowed to play outside in the yard without being under a microscope..

Is it better to be an unsupervised 4 y/o (with access to matches) or a 4 y/o under a 'microscope'? Is it considered helicopter parenting to know what a 4y/o is doing in your opinion? Hmmm, I think that is called parenting, period. I would flip if my 4 y/o had access to matches at a friends house and would never be allowed back there. It's not safe no matter how much you hit them.

I fully understand you are saying that in the 50's it was normal to not supervise kids, but I have not parented in the 50's and in my opinion, 4y/o's require supervision no matter what year it is! I am aware of what that age is capable of, developmentally and what is appropriate supervison vs freedom.

 

[I_Know_You2!]

Are you going to spank me?? CALM DOWN!
***
Okay, that was uncalled for...but I thought all you "spankers" were level headed????!!!!

Hmm..All I am saying, is that IT IS NOT JUST ABOUT GETTING THE CHILD TO STOP WHAT THEY ARE DOING. IMO, its about teaching a lesson. If you or the many other follower's choose to spank your children. I guess the rest of us can just hope you are doing in Responsiably (???) (if there even is such a thing)

Don't bother replying..I'm done with this post.

You know, the only one yelling is you.