14 y/o raped.

[gris gris]

So tell me, who was wrong in this case? According to many of the posters here this woman should go to jail.

Never mind, just read your other post.

 

[kejoda]

its alright

how could you possibly feel this is alright? What if your dd was the one who was molesting a boy, would that be alright?

gofgal you can't compare the two. Not in any way possible.

 

[Anewman]

As we speak 14 year old boys and girls are doing it, period. Most by their own will, the REAL problem is those being forced into it.

I remember when we where freshmen in high school, we had a couple friends with hot looking moms. Boys can be ruthless, comments like "tell your mom I said hi" and other not so DISfriendly were said everyday. Never once did I hear a girl tell another girl(or boy), "hey your dad is hot".

Now I am not defending this loon, it is a crime to have sex with a minor, even if the minor was the aggressor it is still a crime. But I and others feel that regardless of sex it is not the same thing as a violent rape or molestation of an UNwilling child.

 

[golfgal]

how could you possibly feel this is alright? What if your dd was the one who was molesting a boy, would that be alright?

gofgal you can't compare the two. Not in any way possible.

Why not????? Think logically not emotionally. The ages are comparable but obviously the circumstances are not the same. Read through the posts and any other threads on this board about underage kids/sex/rape and you find the same thing, the kid is the victim, adults should know better, blah, blah, blah. Anewman is 100% correct, kids, younger then 14 even, are making conscious decisions to have sex, sometimes with other 14 year olds, sometimes with 19 year olds, it really isn't any different in that case. Now if the 19 year old is FORCING the 14 year old, the story is completly different.

When I was pregnant with DS14 there was a 13, yes 13, year old girl, 7th grader, that was pregnant and she was ecstatic about the deal. She TRIED to get pregnant. Her 'boyfriend' was 19. Tell me again how that is rape????

 

[CathrynRose]

When I was pregnant with DS14 there was a 13, yes 13, year old girl, 7th grader, that was pregnant and she was ecstatic about the deal. She TRIED to get pregnant. Her 'boyfriend' was 19. Tell me again how that is rape????

Was that 19 y/o her teacher? Was that 19 y/o in a position of authority over her? Was that 19 y/o in a profession where he should be setting an example for children?

How can you even compare ANY of the examples you have brought up to what happeneD?

 

[Hercules10]

Read through the posts and any other threads on this board about underage kids/sex/rape and you find the same thing, the kid is the victim, adults should know better, blah, blah, blah.

The difference is the 30 y/o woman in your story was the victim of a assault by a minor. SHE did NOT have choice in the matter as Ms. Lafave did.

 

[Anewman]

Anewman is 100% correct, kids,

Well thank you, but I think it is a crime to have sex with a minor, even if the minor is willing. Just pointing out that there are degrees of seriousness. You give the impression of it not being a crime at all.

IMO that is the main reason this loon is under house arrest and not in MAX security. Had she drugged/tied down/beaten/forcibly abused the 14 year old boy she would be locked up right now. I do not agree that this is a double standard sentence, just not the worst possible sex crime on the radar.

When I was pregnant with DS14 there was a 13, yes 13, year old girl, 7th grader, that was pregnant and she was ecstatic about the deal. She TRIED to get pregnant. Her 'boyfriend' was 19. Tell me again how that is rape????

19 year old having sex with a 13 year old, 19 year old should go to jail PERIOD. Maybe not with the same sentence as a violent rapist, but it is still a crime. They both have serious issues.

 

[Hercules10]

IMO that is the main reason this loon is under house arrest and not in MAX security..... I do not agree that this is a double standard sentence, just not the worst possible sex crime on the radar.

19 year old having sex with a 13 year old, 19 year old should go to jail PERIOD. Maybe not with the same sentence as a violent rapist, but it is still a crime. They both have serious issues.

Didn't you just contradict yourself???? The 13 year old girl in this scenario was "willing" just like the 14 y/o boy.

 

[AKLRULZ]

I like to see her thrown in jail for the rest of her life.

 

[Anewman]

Didn't you just contradict yourself???? The 13 year old girl in this scenario was "willing" just like the 14 y/o boy.

Lafave served time IN JAIL and is now underhouse arrest...

I said the 19 year old should go to jail...(regardless of sex)

Where did I contradict myself please explain.

 

[Hercules10]

Lafave served time IN JAIL and is now underhouse arrest...

I said the 19 year old should go to jail...(regardless of sex)

Where did I contradict myself please explain.

No, she didn't do jail time. That's where you're contradicting yourself.

On November 22, 2005, Debra pleaded guilty to the charges and was sentenced to three years of Community Control (house arrest) and seven years of probation, along with a string of other requirements.

Initially a judge refused a similiar plea bargain on a 2nd charge, insisting on jail time, but the prosecuter dropped the charges effectively over-riding the judge.

 

[Firedog]

Just within the last two weeks, a teacher at a local high school in NE Ohio was charged with sexual assualt. He had sex with a 17 year old student.

Because of her age, and the fact that it was consensual, it would not be considered a crime under state law, except for the fact that he was a teacher. In Ohio, they hold teachers to a higher standard (at least according to the law).

 

[Anewman]

No, she didn't do jail time. That's where you're contradicting yourself.

On November 22, 2005, Debra pleaded guilty to the charges and was sentenced to three years of Community Control (house arrest) and seven years of probation, along with a string of other requirements.

Initially a judge refuse a similiar plea bargain on a 2nd charge insisting on jail time, but the prosecuter dropped the charges effectively over-riding the judge.

My mistake, I stand corrected.
So the judge wanted to give her jail time(refused plea deal) and then the prosecuter dropped charges...

So in fact there was no sentence, hence no double standard sentence


Whew that was some quik thinking

 

[Hercules10]

Because of her age, and the fact that it was consensual, it would not be considered a crime under state law, except for the fact that he was a teacher. In Ohio, they hold teachers to a higher standard (at least according to the law).

Wow Here in Texas we had something similiar. A 20 something former beauty queen teacher had an affair with a 18 y/o student. But because of a state law that says teachers cannot have relationships with students they were thinking of filing charges against her.

OK.OK...

 

[poohandwendy]

Why not????? Think logically not emotionally. The ages are comparable but obviously the circumstances are not the same. Read through the posts and any other threads on this board about underage kids/sex/rape and you find the same thing, the kid is the victim, adults should know better, blah, blah, blah. Anewman is 100% correct, kids, younger then 14 even, are making conscious decisions to have sex, sometimes with other 14 year olds, sometimes with 19 year olds, it really isn't any different in that case. Now if the 19 year old is FORCING the 14 year old, the story is completly different.

When I was pregnant with DS14 there was a 13, yes 13, year old girl, 7th grader, that was pregnant and she was ecstatic about the deal. She TRIED to get pregnant. Her 'boyfriend' was 19. Tell me again how that is rape????

I know someone who was molested at the age of 6 years old. It went on until she was 14 years old (he was caught). She actually learned to go to him when he gave her clues. She loved him. She was not victimized as she made a conscious decision to have sex?

You know, the sick thing about this entire thread is that these attitudes are exactly what causes some of the emotional damage. The idea that the victim is responsible for the crime unless they were held down and forced. This is exactly how molesters coerce their victims, but teaching them that they WANT to do this. They are rewarded for it.

Adults are held responsible because adults are able to reason right and wrong and have power over their minds, bodies and actions.

Why don't we just let kids go on their own after like 10...obviously they can handle it, right?

 

[Anewman]

I worked for a school district(wont mention name) for about 8 years during the late 80s/early 90s, there were two cases that the same teachers were the cause of several allegations from parents and other staff. Both cases the teachers were simply assigned to adult education and not allowed to work with kids. Both cases the teachers quit 1 year later and moved to a different district, in order to work with kids again. We are not talking HIGH SCHOOL...

 

[Jeafl]

I know someone who was molested at the age of 6 years old. It went on until she was 14 years old (he was caught). She actually learned to go to him when he gave her clues. She loved him. She was not victimized as she made a conscious decision to have sex?

You know, the sick thing about this entire thread is that these attitudes are exactly what causes some of the emotional damage. The idea that the victim is responsible for the crime unless they were held down and forced. This is exactly how molesters coerce their victims, but teaching them that they WANT to do this. They are rewarded for it.

Adults are held responsible because adults are able to reason right and wrong and have power over their minds, bodies and actions.

Why don't we just let kids go on their own after like 10...obviously they can handle it, right?

Excellent post.

 

[Tiggeroo]

There have been several post that point blank said that if an "adult" has sex with a teen that it is rape and they should be in jail. I am merely pointing out that it isn't always black and white.

In the op's case, was the boy a willing participant? Yes, he is 14, but the boy in this case is 15 so does that make it ok for the 15 year old because he isn't an adult and can't legally have sex???? They are very comparable.

Again, I think that woman is a total nut case and totally wrong but it still isn't black and white.

I don't quite see the comparison but alot of this post is what I'm talking about. 15yo's shouldn't have sex but they do, and generally they aren't forced into it. She's his teacher so that changes everything. Never, ever is that ok.
But I stand by my thought that generally sex between an older woman and a teen while stupid on the woman's side would not always be considered a crime by the teen. It depends on the circumstances. However, because it would be too difficult to seperate out which situations are crimes and which are not, we protect the teens who might be victimized by outlawing it across the board. This is necessary and understandable. But the same law which criminalizes this behavior will brand a 23yo guy and a 17yo girl a sexual predator. And generally the 17yo girl was very willing and not at all innocent. The 23yo guy would be stupid, foolish, etc. but not really a sexual predator.

 

[poohandwendy]

I don't quite see the comparison but alot of this post is what I'm talking about. 15yo's shouldn't have sex but they do, and generally they aren't forced into it. She's his teacher so that changes everything. Never, ever is that ok.
But I stand by my thought that generally sex between an older woman and a teen while stupid on the woman's side would not always be considered a crime by the teen. It depends on the circumstances. However, because it would be too difficult to seperate out which situations are crimes and which are not, we protect the teens who might be victimized by outlawing it across the board. This is necessary and understandable. But the same law which criminalizes this behavior will brand a 23yo guy and a 17yo girl a sexual predator. And generally the 17yo girl was very willing and not at all innocent. The 23yo guy would be stupid, foolish, etc. but not really a sexual predator.

This is why we have judges and juries, to weigh the evidence and circumstances. Contrary to popular belief, your example, in most states (if not all) would not be a crime. As the 17 would be above the age of consent and as long as the 23 yo was not in a position of authority, their sexual relationship would not be considered criminal. (it varies from state to state)

I do think the 'sexual predator' classification should be fine tuned to show degrees of criminal activity.

 

[Simba's Mom]

This woman disgusts me. She abused the title "teacher". When you decide to be a teacher, you do NOT see your "students" as sexual objects, just like OB-GYNs shouldn't feel lust for their patients. When I was in my 20s, single, I taught an engineering class at night. It was filled with men, no women, and they were all older than me. However, as a "teacher", I just didn't think of them "that way", let alone act on it. To see someone like that, Grrrrr