***************

[HGD24]

Even if the letter does state that the birth mother is sick, who's to say that the translator or a friend of his didn't write it or that it's not from someone else trying to scam you? You really can't feel bad even if it is true, which you will NEVER know for sure. By adopting a baby, you are not bound to the birth mother or anyone in her family. I'm sure it's not easy because you feel as if she GAVE you her daughter, but that's really not the case. She could not keep the child for whatever reason and you were willing and able to take her home and raise her as your own...you've done your part. You've got to find peace with this.

For the person who did missionary work in Jamaica, I worked for a woman who lived there for a few years. She and her husband would go to the bank to deposit their paychecks and get robbed at knife or gunpoint on the way home and this happened quite often. She also told me how Americans would come off of boats saying to any Jamaican standing nearby, "Boy, get my bags." They didn't care whether the person was there to get their bags or not, they just figured that they were poor and wanted money. The Americans would flaunt their wealth the minute they got to the island. She said it really was an awful way of life outside of the resorts.

 

[macfamily]

I don't really have any insight or advice for you, as I have no experience in this area. I just wanted to mention what a wonderful person you must be, first to take in a child from Russia, and second to try so hard to help this person even after knowing that it might be a ruse.

My hat's off to people like you; if only there were more in the world!

 

[nordkin]

Do you know for a fact that your child has another sibling? We adopted all three of our children from Russia and their birth certificate says what number live birth they were. We know our daughter has at least one sibling and our sons, who are natural brothers, have two siblings.

Do not get caught up in this. I am curious how you established contact through a translator, as the adoption records in Russia are sealed as they were in the US in the 1940's. Run away as fast you can, it is a scam.

 

[vhoffman]

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[EthansMom]

vhoffman,

I understand your guilt over all of this. However, it's highly likely that this is scam (from someone else or the "translator"). In point of fact, your letters that you sent through the translator may never have gotten to the birth mother. The entire thing sounds fishy to me.

If you feel guilty, perhaps you could make a donation to the cancer organization you found that operates in Russia? Even a small donation might help someone in desperate need and could help alleviate your guilt. Even if the plea you recieved is legit (small chance), the amount of money that you might be able to afford giving to the family would not be sufficient to prolong the life of someone who has been given six months to live. It would be better to give your money to a reliable organization that can put the money to a truly worthwhile use. Once you've done something to alleviate your guilt, give the entire episode up... make your peace with the fact that you've done what you could in a responsible way.

You'll be in my thoughts and prayers!

 

[vhoffman]

rincess: )

 

[disneymomto5]

I certainly feel for you. I too, have a Russian born daughter and have thought often of trying to get in touch with her birth mother. However, my social worker specifically advised me not to for this very reason. She said to let my daughter find her one day if she wanted to. At the time I thought she was being kinda harsh, but having read your correspondence I can see why she said that. I think you have done all you can do. If the situation is real, then some organization can help her, and if not, then you have probably dodged a bullet so to speak. They might just keep on asking and trying to make you feel guilty. You have done a wonderful thing in adopting this little girl and you are trying to do the right thing. That is all you can do. I know this is probably futile, but try not to dwell on it any longer and enjoy your holidays together as a family.