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[Disney Doll]

Unfortunately, some folks have to learn their lessons the hard way, and your DSIL sounds like one of them.

My DH is a last minute Louie...I kid him and tell him he will be late to his own funeral. He leaves stuff till the last minute and then spends a 20 hour day working himself to the point of exhaustion to finish something that suddenyl needs to be finished, even though it has been needing to be finished for a year.

When we moved form our first apartment to our house, I did all the packing. Granted, there wasn't much, we were in a 4 room apartment, but I was very methodical about packing & labelling. We owned our house for a month before we moved in, and used that month to paint, fix and so on. Evey time I would go to the new house, I'd bring as much stuff as would fit into my car and put it in the spare room...that room became "packing central". On moving day, all that was left to be moved was the big furniture...a bunch of our friends brought pick-ups and vans, we had everything moved in a pretty quick fashion, all the main rooms were set up by that night. My girlfriend came over and was like "It looks like you have lived her for 10 years" because prior to actual moving day, I had brought over and laid the area rugs we had, put up blinds and curtains, everything had been painted and so on. When the furniture came in, I just told the guys where to place it.

I hate moving though. I keep telling my DH that the next thing going out of the house in a box is me!!!!!!

 

[RUDisney]

From my perspective, having lived my life with procrastinators, you are only setting yourself up for more, well, B$.

You're mad and so you're spiting yourself. You know what he's like. The onus is on you to pack everything. You know your DD would help if she could. You are feeling overwhelmed.

This is not going to get better when organization is cast out the window and movers (could be relatives and friends) are throwing things haphazardly into the van. Who is going to be left organizing things when you get moved into the new house? Umm, sounds like you will since your DD is limited in what she can do.

If you leave everything for later, it'll still be there for you to finish when the season at the lake is finished.

Don't think about his mother. She's made her position very clear. She's not going to help. Do you really want her help since she won't be living with you later? Again, my MIL is very much like she sounds. Will stand in the way of others on moving day because she can't help. Well, then, don't show up if that is the case.

So, take a deep breath and realize that whether you do the job now or later, chances are it will still be your job to do. You may as well grab a bottle of beer to help keep your ire down. That's what they make beer for... stressful situations. As long as they only come around sporadically, there is no issue for you to enjoy a cold one here and there through this process.

I hope you read this more as a pep talk than a criticism. Truly, I am the one who gets all the organizational projects with little help from others. Sometimes you just need to do what you have to do and that is that.

 

[C.Ann]

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[C.Ann]

....

 

[luvwinnie]

I DO feel for you, I hate last minute people like that. Drives me nuts...but I'm not sure why you think his mom should be responsible for any packing if she isn't the one moving. Personally, I wouldn't want anyone else packing MY stuff.
I hope it all works out!

 

[C.Ann]

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[mrsltg]

Ohhhhh, I feel for you! My mother was my savior the weekend before we closed on our house. She saw how overwhelmed we were and just stepped in. The fact that she hadn't been packing for months made her much more efficient. I swear it took her 2 hours to pack my entire kitchen and china cabinet and every piece was individually bubble wrapped !

My point is that you dd needs you now. She's got her own issues since the accident and now needs you to help her through this ordeal. Yes, sil is being a big hooha (insert your meaning here!), but it looks like you're going to have to deal with him. You've done the right thing already by laying it on the line. Don't be anyone's doormat. Just tell him what needs to be done and when. Let dd know what a jerk he's being. Sounds like she needs to lean on him a little.

Good luck!!!

 

[Toby'sFriend]

I would suggest that you pack up your own stuff to make sure that you do not make any extra work for them.... and then let them handle it like the adults they are.

 

[luvwinnie]

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It's not a matter of being "responsible" - it's a matter of family helping family .. I guess I was just raised differently.. You can bet when she moves in August she's going to be extremely annoyed if everyone doesn't come rushing in to help her ..

I understand. My family is like that...always helping. But not everyone is like that unfortunately.

 

[EthansMom]

Honestly, I would ignore SIL and schedule the movers.

 

[Chicago526]

Honestly, I would ignore SIL and schedule the movers.

Now here's a thought! If SIL's friends fall through, you'll be the hero that saves the day. On the slim chance that all or most of his friends are willing/able to help, well, a few extra hands on moving day never hurt anyone.

 

[Crankyshank]

Honestly, I know you mean well, but this one of those situations that can get really bad really fast and you definitely have to bite your tongue. Pack all of your stuff and do what DD asks you to do, but that's it. Schedule movers for your stuff if you wish.
Your DD really needs to step up and put her foot down with DH if she shares your concerns and if she doesn't, this is a lesson that needs to be learned unfortunately.

As far as the MIL goes, I've never heard of family helping pack items and I've moved several times as well as various family members. I wouldn't be upset she didn't help unless she offered and then backed out and even then I'd just be irritated. As far as her expecting help when she moves, don't do it.

 

[ElizaB39]

C. Ann,

You are not a machine, nor a maid, nor a mover. You can only do so much.

I would arrange for "helpers" for your things. I understand they may be needed at the very last minute. Explain this to them when you contact them to assist you. Ask friends children, contact a local church's youth group for names of kids willing to work for $$. Explain to them they will probably be contacted the day, or possibly the day before, they are needed, make sure their parents are okay with this setup.

Ask your DD what she wants you to do at this point. How does she feel about the situation?

Perhaps his mother has learned a lot about her son from years of experience and that is why she isn't helping now.

To the previous poster. My DH and I just helped my MIL and FIL move over a period of a few months. We packed the entire kitchen and the bar area of their 3,000 SF home that they had lived in for almost 30 years. Also, she is a big "saver" (and I am not referring to $$ here). I have also helped my sisters move and helped them pack as well. I think not so odd to help others pack. JMO.

 

[Sleepy]

As far as the MIL goes, I've never heard of family helping pack items and I've moved several times as well as various family members. I wouldn't be upset she didn't help unless she offered and then backed out and even then I'd just be irritated.

I too have helped family members MOVE many times. Never have we helped PACK. We leave that for the people who are moving. Only they know how they want something packed and labeled. I don't think it is any family members responsibility to help a person pack OR move. I choose how much stuff I have and how heavy those items are. If I can't do it on my own (for any reason), I hire someone to do it. I don't expect family to do it for me. If they want to volunteer, then that is great, but there is no obligation and I certainly would not be angry at anyone for not wanting to help.

 

[C.Ann]

........

 

[ElizaB39]

C. Ann,

Isn't this exactly the situation your DD and DSIL were in when buying the NEWS house? Weren't they concerned about the possibility that the previous owners wouldn't be out in time? Talk about irony...

However, regarding the new opportunities that have arisen...

When one door closes... And,

Every cloud has a silver lining.

Good Luck!

 

[minniecarousel]

Well - that's a real twist!...a job offer!

Hang in there C.Ann!

 

[LuvN~Travel]

Y'all's luck sounds like ours. Our closing was put off from last Wednesday until today. The appraiser waited until the last minute to tell us he couldn't do the appraisal. THe house we are buying is a bit bigger than most of the houses around it and he couldn't figure out how to appraise it. He kept telling us he was just waiting on the new roof to be installed, but he'd already had the info a couple of weeks ago. The realtors finally had to dump him last week and get another company in (luckily they did it the very next day) to do it. He just figured since he couldn't figure it out, no one could!

And from one daughter with a bad back to the mother of another, we daughter's DO appreciate the cleaning help very much! Mine has been doing a mule's share of work around here helping us to get packed up and cleaned up.
Kim

 

[barkley]

i feel for you! we were just in the opposite situation though-our original closing date (for the house we were selling) was supposed to be june 2nd with 7 days of rent back. the buyers begged to move it up and we finaly agreed to move up the closing and be out memorial day weekend (sunday-figured we would split the holiday and both get benefit of a day and a half). they bugged us to DEATH and we ended up closing on the thursday morning prior to memorial day and turning over the keys friday at noon! nothing like moving 2400 sq ft of household stuff (and about another 500 plus of 3 car garage) into a smaller rental in less than 24 hours!

just be glad that you've found a great cleaning company (it will be so much nicer moving into a place you don't feel like you have to scrub before you touch anything)-frankly when our buyers got so bothersome i abandoned all plans of doing a nice cleanup on our home for them-i took the contract terms of "broom swept clean" literaly (i did a quick wet mop of the tile and vacuumed the carpet, but as far as scrubbing the stains that inevitably appeared when the fridge and washer/dryer were moved, or cleaning the oven-they wanted it early so they ended up losing out on that perk). we also negotiated that in order to get us out early we would'nt be able to do the dump run we planned, so they agreed to haul all of the garbage we could'nt fit in the toters away. we bagged everything nicely on our back slab-but i doubt they anticipated 20 large garbage bags of pure junk we came across while do a rush job packing.

here's to hoping the pool liner comes in record time (and your sil gets some skilled friends to help install it-i can't imagine the buyer not insisting it be professionaly installed...god forbid if he does anything that damages it during installation) and whomever they hire to do the inspection on it actualy gets the report and certification done timely (we had to do a minor roof repair, and of course all the available companies were not lic. to certify the work-so we were on stand-by for a couple of weeks with the company that was able to repair and certify ).

just remember, once the move happens-as long as your dd has (1) a functional kitchen, (2) bathrooms with all the toiletries in place, (3) beds to sleep in, and (4) a space your dgd can retreat to with some toys-the rest can be put away over time (and she may be amazed at what she finds she can do without-with our last move the rule was "if we have'nt had to use something for a year after the move date-it got tossed or went to goodwill"-there were loads of boxes we realized we never should have brought with us in the first place.

relax, take advantage of the delay to get some well deserved rest.

 

[kdibattista]

At least now you'll have more time to pack

Seriously though... I'm sure your SIL is under a heck of a lot of pressure, especially with everything going on with your daughter and and the move. From what I recall of your other posts regarding him, he sounds like a great SIL so I would cut him some slack.