10 year forced to wear thrift stoores clothes as punishment

[sunshinehighway]

I think it just reinforced that thrift shops are bad. The brat should have been taken to the girls house, apologized and then told her that from now on she would be her best friend and protect her from other bullies. She could have also offered to share some of her favorite outfits with her. She needs to learn compassion and empathy.

Bolding is mine. For purely selfish reasons I'm good with that. Let people keep thinking thrift stores are bad, it's less competition for the good stuff for me. I love thrift stores. It's unbelievable what you can find.
I hope the girl learned her lesson.

 

[mom2rtk]

My daughter thinks it's fun to go hunting around thrift shops. She buys things to alter (like cutting things off, etc) and loves showing off her bargains. She thinks it's fun. She also has a thing for certain name brand items. Wouldn't be caught dead in Payless sneakers. Just spent her own money on a pair of Birkenstocks. She's thinking for herself and deciding when to splurge and when to bargain hunt.

I still think it's interesting that this punishment came from stepmom to be. Maybe the girl gets her views on clothes from her parents. And if that's the case, the punishment was cruel because it's pointless.

 

[Westcoastwild]

Even if she did't go to the news herself, she must have been "out there" with it enough for them to pick it up.

Hmm. You know, it did not occur to me to wonder that. I grew up in a town of 30k, in which the newspaper would hear about this through the grapevine, come out and write a feel good piece on the family. It would probably make the front page alongside various other "exciting" stories such as the overly large frogs in the fishing pond this year and last night's lions spaghetti feed for charity. She wouldn't have to be "out there" at all.

 

[~AristoCat~]

Definitely the girl should have been punished but to reinforce in the girls head that Thrift Store Clothes are not stylish which is what the parents did by making her wear them for the two days did nothing but to traumatize the girl the same way she traumatized the other girl she bullied. I don't think that was the best way to handle it. Punishing the girl and making her research what brands of clothing are marketed to the Thrift Store(some of them are big name brands) would have taught her more in my opinion. Sure she should have had to apologize to the girl she bullied as well, but just having other girls make fun of her for wearing the clothes is not sending a good message.

 

[MamaBelle4]

My husband's aunt bought all the kids shoes at Christmas one year (she buys practical gifts and then a toy).

DD8 was going on about how she and her friend had matching sketchers. DH said, "You know you only got name brand because Aunt D bought them. Mommy and Daddy wouldve bought you skootchers. " I laughed so hard at that and still do.

I don't think the point was they were thrift clothes, the story said she bought her clothes she knew she wouldn't like.

*Someone* in that child's life commented on other people dressing sleazy or slobby for the daughter to latch on to that, in my opinion. Perhaps stepmom should address THAT too.

 

[EveDallas]

I think it's a good punishment.

My son is a self proclaimed "sneaker head." He loves name brand sneakers. Jordan's, lebrons, Air Max, etc. He doesn't care where his clothes comes from but his sneakers must be name brand. I didn't raise him this way but it's his "thing."

If my son were to make fun of a kid or bully a kid over their clothes the best punishment would be to make him wear Payless/Walmart/target shoes. It would be the death of him.

I don't have a problem with Payless shoes. I actually just bought DD 4 pairs of sandals there last week.

If my son has told him as a kid that anything he wore had to be brand name, my answer would have been for him to get a job and buy it himself.

 

[Kellykins1218]

I think it's awesome. The brat got what she deserved.

 

[PollyannaMom]

My daughter thinks it's fun to go hunting around thrift shops. She buys things to alter (like cutting things off, etc) and loves showing off her bargains. She thinks it's fun. She also has a thing for certain name brand items. Wouldn't be caught dead in Payless sneakers. Just spent her own money on a pair of Birkenstocks. She's thinking for herself and deciding when to splurge and when to bargain hunt.

Love it!

 

[bookgirl]

I think it just reinforced that thrift shops are bad. The brat should have been taken to the girls house, apologized and then told her that from now on she would be her best friend and protect her from other bullies. She could have also offered to share some of her favorite outfits with her. She needs to learn compassion and empathy.

I have more of a problem with "making" her be someone's friend. Clothes are just ornaments we wear, but trying to dictate who they like or putting the onus of 'protection' on someone is not appropriate. You should be kind and polite to people and you should not bully but there's a difference between manners and forced companionship.

Sharing the clothes may or may not have worked, but having her involved in donating clothes would certainly teach her a better attitude about clothing and helping others.

 

[Magpie]

There's a thousand different ways to deal with this situation, and in any case, whether you agree with the fiancee's approach or not, this particular consequence isn't likely to turn the young lady into a monster. She'll likely turn out a perfectly presentable human being in the long run.

That said...


"She would take her out on the playground and call her names, and tell her she was a slob and tell her she dressed like a sleaze." I don't see the clothes as the primary issue here. The real issue is the meanness and cruelty and name calling and targeted harassment. I don't care why it's happening, there's no excuse and it's going to stop.

Making my daughter dress in "ugly" clothes (and I don't think it matters where they come from) wouldn't teach her a darn thing about how to be kind to people you might not like, for any reason. It won't teach her that no one deserves to be bullied (after all, aren't we ensuring that she's going to be bullied because we feel she deserves it?). It won't teach her to avoid people who irritate her. It won't teach her not to be destructive in her interactions with others. All it will teach her is that clothes matter, and if she doesn't want this to happen again, she'd best keep her mouth zipped. It also teaches her that bullying is sometimes justified.

As a kid who was bullied viciously throughout elementary and middle school, I can tell you that making it about the clothes only makes things worse. It means that, because I wore hand-me-downs, I deserved to be bullied. Punishing my bullies only lead to glares and hissed insults and anonymous attacks. They blamed me for their punishment, and they learned to be more careful about getting caught in the future. They didn't stop.

In this case, this is a lesson that has to be taught, not through a single grandstand move like making the kid wear ugly clothes for a week, but through months and years of supervision, coaching, conversation, role-playing and frequent opportunities to build empathy for others, possibly through volunteering or charitable work. I'm not saying tie it all to this one incident. I'm saying, if you have a child who is physically weak, you make physical activity part of your daily life. If you have a child who is deficient in empathy and kindness, then you make building empathy and kindness part of your regular routine. Live it, don't just lecture about it.

Basically, everyone has their own approach to raising kids, and most approaches work perfectly adequately. This wouldn't have been mine, though.

 

[dish rag]

A lot of fuss and bother when a good paddling by the vice principal would have taken care of it.

Yes I know.

 

[Magpie]

A lot of fuss and bother when a good paddling by the vice principal would have taken care of it.

Yes I know.

I was so shocked to find out that paddling in schools is still legal in many parts of the US. In Canada, the Supreme Court ruled that teachers couldn't use physical force in 2004. (And most schools had stopped using it decades before.)

Anyway, it doesn't work. All it does is move the bullying off school grounds and make it all the more vicious. "You got me paddled, loser! I'm going to hurt you for that!"

 

[hereyago]

A lot of fuss and bother when a good paddling by the vice principal would have taken care of it.

Yes I know.

Oh the paddle. I didn't care about the it so much as I didn't want to get it then have my df get me after lol.

 

[Kaytie]

It would be interesting to know if Dad supported this and especially if her Mom was consulted and agreed to the punishment.

Per the ABC report I linked on page three, Kaylee's father was involve in determining the punishment.

The brat should have been taken to the girls house, apologized and then told her that from now on she would be her best friend and protect her from other bullies.

That's just words.

 

[mummabear]

A lot of fuss and bother when a good paddling by the vice principal would have taken care of it.

Yes I know.

Any vice principal that paddled my kid would find himself on the end of paddling from me

 

[Jennasis]

Now I've got the song "Thrift Shop" stuck in my head.

I wear your grandad's clothes...I look incredible...

 

[mi*vida*loca]

If my son has told him as a kid that anything he wore had to be brand name, my answer would have been for him to get a job and buy it himself.

It's ok. We don't mind buying it and it's not like he demands it. He begged for a pair of Lebron's about 3 years ago. I got it for him for Christmas. Ever since then it's been name brand sneakers. He uses his birthday and Christmas money to buy sneakers and his father and I probably buy him 2-3 additional pairs a year. He's a good kid that doesn't give me any problems. Him wanting name brand sneakers are the least of my worries.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I don't think this was the right way to deal with this. The girl should have been taught there is nothing wrong with buying clothes at a thrift store instead of parents backing up her belief that thrift store clothes are horrible

A Utah woman forced her fiance's 10-year-old daughter to wear an unflattering wardrobe to school after a teacher said the girl was bullying another classmate over the way she dresses.

A teacher at the Viewmont Elementary school in Murray last week emailed Mark, the father of Kaylee, and his fianceé Ally, explaining that she was harassing another student for three weeks, Fox13 reports. The last names of the family were not revealed to protect their privacy.

“She would take her out on the playground and call her names, and tell her she was a slob and tell her she dressed like a sleaze,” Allly told the station.

As punishment, Ally went to a local thrift shop and purchased around $50 worth of clothing that she thought her daughter wouldn’t want to wear. Kaylee said she cried when she first saw the clothes, Fox13 reports.

Kaylee added that students talked behind her back about the clothes when she wore them to school last week. Her teacher was notified beforehand and the punishment lasted two days.

“We did it because we wanted our daughter to learn something very valuable that touched home and touched her heart,” Ally said.
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I agree. Instead, sit down with her with varying budgets and ask her to budget out money for clothing. I'd also take her to a thrift shop and show her all the brand name clothes.

I buy RL Polo button downs all the time from our local Goodwill for my husband. These cost $100 brand new and are quality, so wash and wear very well. Most look new or close to it and they cost $3! Plus, while there are some changes, most of the patterns/fabric are the same from year to year.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I think the lesson is "do unto others as you'd have them do unto you" or "walk a mile in their shoes". I don't see a problem with the punishment. The step mom to be was trying to be "different" and make a lasting impression. Something tells me this girl won't make fun of how others dress. Isn't that the point? I don't think it matters how much you talk to them, that will go in one ear and out the other.

I have a feeling she will, just more stealthily.

 

[DopeyDame]

I don't think this was the right way to deal with this. The girl should have been taught there is nothing wrong with buying clothes at a thrift store instead of parents backing up her belief that thrift store clothes are horrible

A Utah woman forced her fiance's 10-year-old daughter to wear an unflattering wardrobe to school after a teacher said the girl was bullying another classmate over the way she dresses.

A teacher at the Viewmont Elementary school in Murray last week emailed Mark, the father of Kaylee, and his fianceé Ally, explaining that she was harassing another student for three weeks, Fox13 reports. The last names of the family were not revealed to protect their privacy.

“She would take her out on the playground and call her names, and tell her she was a slob and tell her she dressed like a sleaze,” Allly told the station.

As punishment, Ally went to a local thrift shop and purchased around $50 worth of clothing that she thought her daughter wouldn’t want to wear. Kaylee said she cried when she first saw the clothes, Fox13 reports.

Kaylee added that students talked behind her back about the clothes when she wore them to school last week. Her teacher was notified beforehand and the punishment lasted two days.

“We did it because we wanted our daughter to learn something very valuable that touched home and touched her heart,” Ally said.
\

I'm not sure why people are saying that this reinforces that thrift stores are bad. It specifically says that the mom purchased clothes intentionally that *she thought her daughter wouldn't want to wear*. She didn't go to a thrift shop and let her daughter pick out whatever cute clothes she wanted, she found a cheap source of clothes that she knew her daughter wouldn't like. I don't think the thrift store is the point of the punishment, so much as the ugly/uncool clothes.

This wouldn't be the particular discipline I'd give my kids, but I can't figure out for the life of my why it would be news or why anyone would be upset about it.