$10 per student

[ThreeMusketeers]

As a teacher, I just want to say...

THANK YOU ROOM MOMS!!!!!!

I don't have room moms for my class, but I do have tons of volunteers for everything that needs to get done. I really appreciate everything they (and you!) do!

After reading this thread, I can't imagine a few things:
1. All kids wouldn't be allowed to sign a group gift card
2. Some groups asking $20 - $30 per kid... what the?????
3. Teachers opening gifts in front of students (I always say if they want to see me open their gift, to stay after school for just a few minutes)

I have truly appreciated the years I have received group gifts, but I enjoy regular gifts too. This year I have actually requested that NO GIFTS be given...

At our Halloween party, each kid brought in one dollar. During the party they played the usual games, but instead of earning prizes, they earned coins that they could put in one of three buckets. Each bucket represented a different charity. Whichever charity had the most coins, the money collected for the party would go to that charity. IT WAS AWESOME and the kids had a ball! We will be doing the same thing for our holiday party, but the donation will instead be whatever the student was planning on spending on a teacher gift.

You sound like an AMAZING teacher! If only they could all be like you.

 

[mumom95]

3. Teachers opening gifts in front of students (I always say if they want to see me open their gift, to stay after school for just a few minutes)

At our school students are not allowed to walk home, they either have to ride the bus or be a pick up, and the huge majority ride the bus, which means they cannot stay after school.

My daughter, who always makes her teacher something for Christmas (along with the gift certificate I give) would be heartbroken if she didn't get to see her teacher open the gift that she made for her.

I understand why you do this, so you don't hurt the feelings of the children who can't give you a gift. But in doing so you may be hurting the feelings of the children who do give you a gift.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

I think $10 is very inexpensive. Think about it -- $10 for an entire year? How much do you tip your hairdresser each time you go, or your nail salon person, your mailman at the holidays, your taxi driver, your luggage person at the airport?

 

[ThreeMusketeers]

I think $10 is very inexpensive. Think about it -- $10 for an entire year? How much do you tip your hairdresser each time you go, or your nail salon person, your mailman at the holidays, your taxi driver, your luggage person at the airport?

LMAO

Hello! The people that can't afford the $10 are not getting their nails done, going to the hairdresser or going on vacations that require an airport. They are also not worrying about the mailman or taxidriver!!

 

[ZPT1022]

I see both sides. On the one hand, asking for what might be a fairly large amount to some families and requiring at least that amount to sign the card, stinks. And yes, I'm sure that the kids who don't get to sign will feel bad, and some parents will refuse to participate just because, some will not have the money, and some will just plain forget. We'd be in danger of being that third scenario since my three kids are in three different schools and at times it is quite a pain to keep track of what is going on where.

BUT, I've been on the other side too. When my daughter was in kindergarten we made an apron project for the teachers. The teachers took an extended lunch and myself and one other mom went in and worked with the kids for a bit to make this project. It was really cute and the teachers still wear them and it's been a few years, so obviously it was a hit. I had asked all the parents ahead of time if they were on board with doing this for a teachers gift and they said yes. I asked for $2 per child, which still left me paying quite a bit and using up crafting supplies that I already had at home as well. Not to mention my time, etc.... This was a private school where parents are spending $3000+ per year to send their kids, so $2 is not a hardship (and no, there are no full scholarships). Let me tell you, trying to get that $2 out of people was like pulling teeth. So yes, I understand why you don't want to include the non contributing families. Granted, our situation was a bit different because all the parents agreed about it ahead of time but still, why should I foot the bill for your kid to give a teacher gift??

 

[PrincessKsMom]

LMAO

Hello! The people that can't afford the $10 are not getting their nails done, going to the hairdresser or going on vacations that require an airport. They are also not worrying about the mailman or taxidriver!!

I highly doubt that. Maybe not vacations or nails, but you're telling me no one gets a haircut? No one runs into anyone who is in a tipping position? And in my experience, the people (in my area) who usually complain about $10 are those that do have tips, get their hair dyed every 6-8 weeks, go on vacations frequently and drive around in new, expensive cars. It's the people who don't have the money who do participate without question, because they realize that is the only way they'd be able to afford to purchase a gift -- by being in on a group gift.

 

[ZPT1022]

LMAO

Hello! The people that can't afford the $10 are not getting their nails done, going to the hairdresser or going on vacations that require an airport. They are also not worrying about the mailman or taxidriver!!

maybe not going on fancy trips but my DD is going to a Title 1 school- not at all a wealthy school. Some of those parents are dressed to the nines with the fake nails, latest cell phones, etc.... and their kids are getting free lunches and whatnot. It's all about priorities......

 

[TwinsinCA]

You've obviously never been down to your last few dollars then.
Because I can tell you right now..I have. And $10 was ALOT to us. We are finnally in a situation where we can afford more. But I feel for those people that dd is friends with who I know CAN'T do it this year. They aren't forgetting..they just CAN'T!

There were times in college I WAS down to my last few dollars and $10 would have been a lot. I get it. But I just do not believe that that is the issue with MOST of the people who don't contribute.

A PP said that out of 20 kids only 6 bothered to contribute to the "class present". Do you really think that there are 14 families in that class who are so destitute that they can't kick in a few dollars? Because I don't. One or two? Maybe. But I think most have other reasons for CHOOSING not to contribute and I do not feel sorry for those parents nor do I feel it is some form of "blackmail".

I think the idea of a class present needs to stop and instead it should be a group gift by whomever wants to go in on one. When you have a third of the class participating, that is no longer a "class present".

 

[mjkacmom]

At our school students are not allowed to walk home, they either have to ride the bus or be a pick up, and the huge majority ride the bus, which means they cannot stay after school.

My daughter, who always makes her teacher something for Christmas (along with the gift certificate I give) would be heartbroken if she didn't get to see her teacher open the gift that she made for her.

I understand why you do this, so you don't hurt the feelings of the children who can't give you a gift. But in doing so you may be hurting the feelings of the children who do give you a gift.

You know, after so many years of sending in gifts for teachers, I don't have the slightest idea if they open them up at school! I've always assumed they didn't, and I don't think my kids would care either way - presents don't even get opened at birthday parties here.

 

[Amy&Dan]

You've obviously never been down to your last few dollars then.
Because I can tell you right now..I have. And $10 was ALOT to us. We are finnally in a situation where we can afford more. But I feel for those people that dd is friends with who I know CAN'T do it this year. They aren't forgetting..they just CAN'T!

I agree. My sister is currently so broke, that $10 might as well be $100 for her. She literally cannot spare a dime right now. So if she had a kid that came home with a note like that, she would have to explain to him/her why their name wouldn't be on the card.

Bottom line, chances are most of the parents who don't give might very well be able to do so, but choose not to for some selfish reason. But then again, if even one of the little kids in this situation has parents that just truly cannot give due to dire financial straits, isn't it better to just not chance that and put all the names on the card?

I mean isn't the spirit of Chirstmas about giving? Whether its the ten bucks or just the benefit of the doubt. That room mom is in my opinion being just as selfish as some Mercedes driving, manicure addicted, self centered cheapskate who could give the $10 but won't.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

I mean isn't the spirit of Chirstmas about giving? Whether its the ten bucks or just the benefit of the doubt. That room mom is in my opinion being just as selfish as some Mercedes driving, manicure addicted, self centered cheapskate who could give the $10 but won't.

Why is the class mom at fault? If you (not you personally, but the parent who's driving the Mercedes with her freshly manicured nails) don't care that you're child will be put in a difficult position, why should I (if I was the class parent)? I posted my experience previously. We had a parent who actually came right out and said, why should I donate, you'll feel bad and kick in for my kid anyway! What if you had 25 kids in your class and 10 didn't bother (not weren't able, but didn't bother)? I should be out $100 because I volunteered to be class mom? What if I were having a hard time coming up with $10 for my own child? I should feel guilty for not kicking in for everyone else? In my experience it was always the same 1 or 2 parents who chose not to participate, then expected everyone else to pick up the slack.

 

[Amy&Dan]

BUT, I've been on the other side too. When my daughter was in kindergarten we made an apron project for the teachers. The teachers took an extended lunch and myself and one other mom went in and worked with the kids for a bit to make this project. It was really cute and the teachers still wear them and it's been a few years, so obviously it was a hit. I had asked all the parents ahead of time if they were on board with doing this for a teachers gift and they said yes. I asked for $2 per child, which still left me paying quite a bit and using up crafting supplies that I already had at home as well. Not to mention my time, etc.... This was a private school where parents are spending $3000+ per year to send their kids, so $2 is not a hardship (and no, there are no full scholarships). Let me tell you, trying to get that $2 out of people was like pulling teeth. So yes, I understand why you don't want to include the non contributing families. Granted, our situation was a bit different because all the parents agreed about it ahead of time but still, why should I foot the bill for your kid to give a teacher gift??

Because you volunteered to do so. When you sign up for projects like that, you know that you will have those parents that don't contribute. It stinks! I know, I have been there when the supplies aren't brought in and I am running to Target or Michael's like a mad woman to get the things that somebody dropped the ball on. I learned with my oldest that to be a room mom is a committment of time and money.

But what I like about your project (that apron sounds so fun for the teachers and the kids) is that the kids, even if their parents didn't put in the $2 got to help make the apron.

Younger kids in particular usually adore their teachers, so I think having some activity that they get to participate in somehow is really what its all about.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Why is the class mom at fault? If you (not you personally, but the parent who's driving the Mercedes with her freshly manicured nails) don't care that you're child will be put in a difficult position, why should I (if I was the class parent)? I posted my experience previously. We had a parent who actually came right out and said, why should I donate, you'll feel bad and kick in for my kid anyway! What if you had 25 kids in your class and 10 didn't bother (not weren't able, but didn't bother)? I should be out $100 because I volunteered to be class mom? What if I were having a hard time coming up with $10 for my own child? I should feel guilty for not kicking in for everyone else? In my experience it was always the same 1 or 2 parents who chose not to participate, then expected everyone else to pick up the slack.

The classroom mom isn't at fault but if she excludes children then she is also being selfish in my book. And very small minded because she's the adult and therefore has to think outside the box quite often. No you should not be out $100. In that scenario, if you have that many people not giving, than you should buy whatever amount of giftcard or gift you have the money for, then have the whole class make a card and present the gift to the teacher.

To me this isn't about fault. Its about being the bigger person. The right thing is not excluding the kids who didn't contribute because their parent didn't do the right thing out of selfishness or couldn't contribute due to family circumstances. Again, I know its stinks, I have been there, but I think above all the feelings of the kids always has to outweigh the feelings of the adults. Legitimate feelings of disgust that people can be very self absorbed in some cases.

 

[NewCrew42]

When you take the job as class parent you take it withthe understanding that you collect money from the class for a group gift- ours is a group end of the year gift, most usually don't do it for both christmas and the end of the year but its an option. When I was class parent I took the collection and gave the teacher a visa gift card- I signed it from the whole class but after the party the teacher asked me for the names of the parents that actually did contribute so she could send thank you cards to those parents.

This is how it is at our school as well. Group gifts for:

Christmas
End of School
Teacher Birthday (if they have a summer birthday, you choose a random date)

 

[luvmy3]

One of my kid's room mothers sent home a note asking for $6 or whatever you could contribute for 2 teachers. I sent in $10. Personally I don't think $10 for one teacher is too much for some people to give but I know it is for others. I certainly don't think that a child should be excluded from signing a card because they didn't contribute and its wrong for the room mom to use that as a way to get parents to give.
OP I would do what you want if you don't want to contribute then get something for your child's teacher on your own whether its a purchased gift or a handmade one, or just a card. There have been times where I didn't contribute because my kid's wanted to pick out their own gift to give. They have always been able to sign the "class" card for the teacher too.

 

[ZPT1022]

Because you volunteered to do so. When you sign up for projects like that, you know that you will have those parents that don't contribute. It stinks! I know, I have been there when the supplies aren't brought in and I am running to Target or Michael's like a mad woman to get the things that somebody dropped the ball on. I learned with my oldest that to be a room mom is a committment of time and money.

But what I like about your project (that apron sounds so fun for the teachers and the kids) is that the kids, even if their parents didn't put in the $2 got to help make the apron.

Younger kids in particular usually adore their teachers, so I think having some activity that they get to participate in somehow is really what its all about.

eh, sort of. We had had a mandatory meeting at the beginning of the school year (private school) and the parents stayed after to talk. Someone mentioned teachers gifts and we were talking about it. I got nominated because I'm crafty and because people assume that if you don't work out of the house that you must have all the free time in the world I wasn't the room mom or anything.

I was just miffed that people who have over $3000/year to send their kids to private school were too cheap to cough up $2 that they knew about and agreed to in advance. Chalked it up to lesson learned and found it ironic that it was some of the people who had the most were the most stingy.

and yes, it was a cool project because the kids were actually involved in it

 

[Amy&Dan]

eh, sort of. We had had a mandatory meeting at the beginning of the school year (private school) and the parents stayed after to talk. Someone mentioned teachers gifts and we were talking about it. I got nominated because I'm crafty and because people assume that if you don't work out of the house that you must have all the free time in the world I wasn't the room mom or anything.

I was just miffed that people who have over $3000/year to send their kids to private school were too cheap to cough up $2 that they knew about and agreed to in advance. Chalked it up to lesson learned and found it ironic that it was some of the people who had the most were the most stingy.

and yes, it was a cool project because the kids were actually involved in it

Well now I can relate to that private school thing! We did private for a couple of years before I was able to open enroll my kids into a decent public school, and I was amazed at how many of those parents were so totally uninvolved. I think they feel like they are paying the tuition and therefore shouldn't be involved with another thing. And yes, I am one of those moms with all the time in the world on my hands too! But that's a whole different thread.