10 cents a minute, who pays?

[Verandah Man]

I just received this from a friend of mine, had me ROTFLOL!!!


I was at home the other night in the middle of my dinner when the phone
rang.

ME: Hello.

AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T ...

ME: Is this AT&T.?

AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...

ME: This is AT&T.?

AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ....

ME: Is this AT&T.?

AT&T: Yes! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr.Byron, please.?

ME: May I ask who is calling.?

AT&T: This is AT&T.

ME: Ok, hold on.

At this point I put the phone down n for a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they were still waiting.

ME: Hello.?

AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron.?

ME: May I ask who is calling, please.?

AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ..

ME: This is AT&T.?

AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...

ME: The phone company.?

AT&T: Yes, sir.

ME: I thought you said this was AT&T.

AT&T: Yes, sir, we are a phone company..

ME: I already have a phone.

AT&T: We aren't selling phones today, Mr. Byron. We would like to
offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

ME: Now, that's 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day?

AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes,
sir, that's right! 24 hours a day!

ME: 7 days a week.?

AT&T: That's right.

ME: 365 days a year.?

AT&T: Yes, sir.

ME: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! That's amazing!

AT&T: We think so!

ME: That's quite a sum of money!

AT&T: Yes, sir, it's amazing how it adds up.

ME: Ok, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one
at the end of the year for the full $52,560; and if you send an annual check, can I get a cash advance.?

AT&T: Excuse me.?

ME: You know, the 10 cents a minute.

AT&T: What are you talking about.?

ME: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1008 per week and $52,560 per year. I'm just interested in knowing how you will be making payment.

AT&T: Oh, no, sir. I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a minute.

ME: Wait a minute , how do you figure that by saying that you'll give me 10 cents a minute, that I'll give YOU 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of subliminal telemarketing scheme.? I've read about things like this in the Enquirer, you know.

AT&T: No, sir, we are offering 10 cents a minute for ...

ME: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please.?

AT&T: Sir, I don't think that is necessary.

ME: I insist on speaking to a supervisor.!

AT&T: Yes, Mr. Byron. Please hold.

At this point, I begin trying to finish my dinner.

SUPERVISOR: Mr. Byron.?

ME: Yeth.?

SUPERVISOR: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents
a minute program.

ME: Is This A T & T.?

SUPERVISOR: Yes, sir, it sure is.

ME: (I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could
do to suppress my laughter and I had to be careful not to produce a
snort.) No, actually, I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so that I could sign up for the plan.


SUPERVISOR: Ok, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person who
was helping you.

ME: Thank you.
I was on hold once again and managed a few more mouthfuls. I need to end this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at the other end of the phone.

AT&T: Hello, Mr. Byron, I understand that you are interested in signing up
for our plan.?

ME: No, but I was wondering - do you have that "Friends and Family" thing
because I'm an only child and I'd really like to have a little brother...

AT&T: click........

 

[Kirk]

Pretty cute!!!

Here's the official version of the telemarketer tormentation game:


Scoring:

Basic Point System:

For each minute spent on the phone - 10 pts.

Getting transferred to someone who makes
more than minimum wage - 15 pts.

For each minute spent on the phone with person making more
than minimum wage - 25 pts

Bonus Points:

Getting them to repeat part of the "script" - 5 pts/each.

Getting answers to stupid questions - 15 pts/each

Changing the subject - 50 pts/each.

Making the salesperson angry - 175 pts.

Making the salesperson hang up - 750 pts.

Call back, get their boss on the phone, and
tell them the salesperson hung up on you - 1500 pts.

Getting their 1-800-number - 10 pts.

Checking the number a week later and it is
busy or disconnected - 5000 pts.


Tormenting a Telemarketer!!!

 

[Breezy_Carol]

We got a script off here some time ago. It was to counter the telemarketers script. DH liked to use it. He would get the telemarketer to talk about if they liked their job and did they get dental benefits and how important it was to take care of your teeth. It was funny to listen to this end of it.

 

[Verandah Man]

I like these ideas as well!!!

Ever since we got caller ID, we never answer the phone when unknown caller shows up, or a name we don't know. Looking forward to the NJ "No Call Bill" gets past.

 

[binny]

OMYGOSH!!!

ROFLBO!!!

 

[CarolA]

LOL.

Last week one of these people called me. First they asked for Mr or Mrs and the completely butchered the last name. Since I am single I figure asking for my husband is the first clue. So I said, you don't have a CLUE who you are calling do you? Telemarketr Uh, No. Me- I don't want whatever you are selling. Telemarketer - I'm not selling I am trying to save you money. ME- You don't even know who you are calling, I doubt you can help.

I hung up.

They called back. It turned out to be the idiot cable company. They can't understand why I chose to go with a dish. Could it be the fact that when I called about service for my new house it was going to be 60 days before they could charge me $50 for a hookup and the dish people could be there tomorrow with no charge. hmm.....

 

[jamsmom]

We do a couple of things. When they ask for Mrs...., I inform them that Jim's mother does not live with us. (since we aren't married- no lectures, please). It usually really stumps them.

If Jim answers and it is for me, he either says, "I sure wouldn't want to talk to her in the mood she is in" or he yells to me, "Honey, do you want to talk to another telemarkter?" Then, before I even say anything, he tells them I said "No"

If Jim answers and it is for him, he will go on and on about what a great deal, but then says that he is not interested in the least little bit (after 5 minutes)


I feel bad sometimes because I know they are just trying to make a living, but they call at really bad times.

 

[CRB#33]

Tormenting a telemarkerter: PRICELESS!!!

That's too funny!

 

[MarkRG]

I'm not quite that passive.


I have the 'Official Party (air)Horn for those occasions.

Guaranteed hangup every time.

 

[Zurg]

ROFLOL

You are a very sick man