10/24/2009 - Bash on the Boat (I'm with B.O.B.) - Thread #4

[A fat english gent]

Thank you for being so forgiving ...

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.
That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
David Bissonette

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Dumas

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, 'What does a woman want?
Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Anonymous

'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'
Henny Youngman

'I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.'
Sam Kinison

'I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'
Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
Anonymous

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Milton Berle

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
Anonymous

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'
Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'

 

[A fat english gent]

For all them having a bad day work wise,just remember it could be worse....


On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson.

Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed.

Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.

Now the fun part begins, take the literature out of the box and read it carefully. You will notice that in small print there is a statement that reads: - 'Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized.'

Now , close your eyes and repeat out loud five times; "I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson & Johnson ."

HAVE A NICE DAY AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE *** THAN YOURS

 

[A fat english gent]

Let's see how bright our 2009 ship mates are...


This is a quiz for people who know everything! I found out in a hurry that I didn't. These are not trick questions. They are straight questions with straight answers.

1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends.

2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?

3. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?

4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?

5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?

6. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters "dw" and
they are all common words. Name two of them.

7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name at
least half of them?

8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.

9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter "S".

 

[minnieandmickey]

Where abouts in California do you live? Way back in the last century, when my father was in the Navy, we lived in San Diego, Oakland, and Hayward.

Hi Chris,
We live in the Central Valley area, about 45 min south of Sacramento.
My DH though is a deputy for the county that Oakland and Hayward is in. He is currently working in Oakland, but at one time he worked at the court house in Hayward.

 

[DISNEYDUET]

Let's see how bright our 2009 ship mates are...


This is a quiz for people who know everything! I found out in a hurry that I didn't. These are not trick questions. They are straight questions with straight answers.

1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends.

2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?

3. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?

4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?

5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?

6. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters "dw" and
they are all common words. Name two of them.

7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name at
least half of them?

8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.

9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter "S".

1. ?
2. Statue of Liberty?
3. ?
4. strawberry
5.the bottle is put over the bud and the pear grows inside the bottle. They do this with lemons as well.
6.dwell,dwindle
7.period, colon, semi-colon, hyphen, comma, exclamation point, question mark, parentheses, quotaion marks
8.celery
9.socks, slippers, shoes, sandles, sneakers

 

[minnieandmickey]

Let's see how bright our 2009 ship mates are...


This is a quiz for people who know everything! I found out in a hurry that I didn't. These are not trick questions. They are straight questions with straight answers.

1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends.Boxing

2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?
Grand Canyon?
3. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables??

4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?
strawberry
5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?
6. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters "dw" and
they are all common words. Name two of them.
I can only think of one Dwarf
7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name at
least half of them?period, question mark, exclamation mark, colon, semi-colon, comma, quotation mark

8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.lettuce

9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter "S".socks slippers shoes stockings ???

Great questions, and I didn't cheat!

 

[A fat english gent]

Good effort,I'll wait a while before giving the answers to allow others a go too.....

ps....Will the deputy be keeping us all in order at the dinner table i wonder?.....It would also appear our resident Head shed sheriff now See's us as beneath him since his promotion..... .....Can we still call him Mark or do we have to call him Captain Mark now?.....

 

[Morsel (Chris/Lynn)]

Hi Chris,
We live in the Central Valley area, about 45 min south of Sacramento.
My DH though is a deputy for the county that Oakland and Hayward is in. He is currently working in Oakland, but at one time he worked at the court house in Hayward.

GOOD MORNING EVERYONE

As to the deputy, tell us that his Captain Jack Sparrow outfit ( ) is also doubling as an undercover disguise

 

[cntkg1]

Ok Ladies, (and gents)

I need your assistance please. I’m trying to think of things that we might need next week Saturday as a Wedding Care Package for us all.

Here’s some of the things I came up with:

Hand Cream
Nail Clipper
Nail File
Band-Aids
Dr Scholls Foot Soles
Scissors
Gum
Tooth Filling Stuff
Shout Wipes
Safety Pins
Hem Glue
Tylenol
Water Bottle
Selzer Water for stains
Scotch Tape
Sewing Kit

I’m sure if I sat here long enough I could come up with a few others. Any ideas BOBers?

 

[JLDSMD]

Let's see how bright our 2009 ship mates are...


This is a quiz for people who know everything! I found out in a hurry that I didn't. These are not trick questions. They are straight questions with straight answers.

1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends.

I like Becky's answer of Boxing.

2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?

Niagara Falls or some Glacier is my guess.

3. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?

RHUBARB and ASPARAGUS

4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?

I like the answers given already for this - Strawberry

5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?

I like the answer already given. Plus, I have no clue.

6. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters "dw" and
they are all common words. Name two of them.

Dwarf came to mind, but Becky already gave it.

7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name at
least half of them?

Besides the ones already mentioned: apostrophe ( ' ), brackets ( [ ] ), parenthesis (sp? - I mean the things around this section ), ellipsis (...), slash (/), dash (--)

8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.

No clue.

9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter "S".

I was going to add "stockings", but I see Becky already said that. Between Shelley and Becky, I think there are 6.

 

[millerpjm]

Ok Ladies, (and gents)

I need your assistance please. I’m trying to think of things that we might need next week Saturday as a Wedding Care Package for us all.

Here’s some of the things I came up with:

Hand Cream
Nail Clipper
Nail File
Band-Aids
Dr Scholls Foot Soles
Scissors
Gum
Tooth Filling Stuff
Shout Wipes
Safety Pins
Hem Glue
Tylenol
Water Bottle
Selzer Water for stains
Scotch Tape
Sewing Kit

I’m sure if I sat here long enough I could come up with a few others. Any ideas BOBers?

Extra nylons and/or clear nail polish

 

[Verandah Man]

I have Spring Fever.........

Going up to around 72* today with plenty of sunshine, just got home for lunch and told the wifey-poo we've got to get the windows open.

 

[cntkg1]

Here’s a few more I was thinking of:

Tranquilizers
Some good pain killers
and
A Stun Gun (for Chuck’s relatives).

 

[A fat english gent]

Ok Ladies, (and gents)

I need your assistance please. I’m trying to think of things that we might need next week Saturday as a Wedding Care Package for us all.

Here’s some of the things I came up with:

Hand Cream
Nail Clipper
Nail File
Band-Aids
Dr Scholls Foot Soles
Scissors
Gum
Tooth Filling Stuff
Shout Wipes
Safety Pins
Hem Glue
Tylenol
Water Bottle
Seltzer Water for stains
Scotch Tape
Sewing Kit

I’m sure if I sat here long enough I could come up with a few others. Any ideas Bobbers?

It's a wedding not the retaking of Grenada....You women are all barking mad.....

 

[Timon]

The one piece of advice would be that if you are having pictures taken right after the ceremony and there is some time between that and the reception, pack a cooler with some lights snacks and drinks and bring it with you to where the pictures are being taken. In my experience, this can take an hour or more and often the bride and her bridal party haven't eaten in hours. The entire wedding party will be thankful to you!


We woke up this morning to 8 inches of snow It wasn't in the forecast Gonna go dress up my kid in the snowgear and go play!

 

[JLDSMD]

The one piece of advice would be that if you are having pictures taken right after the ceremony and there is some time between that and the reception, pack a cooler with some lights snacks and drinks and bring it with you to where the pictures are being taken. In my experience, this can take an hour or more and often the bride and her bridal party haven't eaten in hours. The entire wedding party will be thankful to you!


We woke up this morning to 8 inches of snow It wasn't in the forecast Gonna go dress up my kid in the snowgear and go play!

We did a cooler of beverages on the trolley we had. I don't remember if we did snacks. Our reception started early, so they got food before dinner.

If anyone was just starting to plan a wedding, I'd tell them to start the reception and dinner an hour or so earlier than traditional and have it end by 11:00. As bride and groom, you're beat by the time 10:00 rolls around and you won't have to wait around until Midnight for everyone to leave. Suz and I actually left by 11:00 (ours did go to 12:00).

You mention the weather you got today, and need to say to Nancy, at least the crap is happening this weekend so maybe next will be nice.

 

[minnieandmickey]

Ok Nancy I will be the weird one, not like today is any other day. But what about girl products, sometimes that sucker springs up when not expected.

Snacks, definately...keep that blood sugar up, don't need any funny home video moments with someone passing out.

 

[JLDSMD]

Ok Nancy I will be the weird one, not like today is any other day. But what about girl products, sometimes that sucker springs up when not expected.

Snacks, definately...keep that blood sugar up, don't need any funny home video moments with someone passing out.

Oh great, not going down that road again.

CHRIS.....HELP!!!!!!!

 

[JLDSMD]

Although, does anyone remember "Sixteen Candles"?

The sister got that "sucker" for her wedding and took all the muscle relaxers for cramping and was out of it.

 

[GOS]

Now that's a blast from the UK past - Andy Capp